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PLEASE answer my questions, I'm having a lot of doubt about all of this and I'm in need of ANY responses to ANY questions asked...

I'm having a lot of doubts... I've projected a lot, I'd say upwards of 10-15 times throughout the past few months.. I guess that isn't a "lot" per se but I think it would be enough....

I have only once stepped into my room, to have it look NORMAL, and I have NEVER been able to find any proof that I'm really actually in my room and out of my body.

In fact, there is no silver cord, there is usually no body on my bed, or if there is, it doesn't look like me. If I look in the mirror I tend to see myself... my hands do not melt (though i don't recall staring at them for very long).... I cannot go around my room looking for a curious object, then take note of it and go find it when I wake up.

I cannot find my sleeping family/dogs and pull them out of their bodies... I have seen my sleeping dogs before but, well... TWO OF THEM HAVE BEEN DEAD FOR A LONG TIME, yet there they were... just like normal

I cannot do any of the things that seem to be associated with the RTZ, or reproduce any epxeriment results for testing the validity of OBE experiences like I read about (i.e. pulling people in a room next to you out of their body, or going and finding real objects and telling them what they are).

WTF is going on? It's documented enough on both nutty and scientific sites to make me think that there's a good possibility these experiences could be "real" per se, and yet, they aren't.

Last night I was having a lucid dream, and I stretched out my arms and focused on my sleeping body, boom.. I'm back in it.. and I had mild vibrations, I spent a good 10 minutes trying to get my mind clear enough to get out, and evetually I exited my body very smoothly and was in my room.

Looking at old furniture. No computer to be seen, no amp to be seen.

I look at the books in my room, they aren't real books, they are just colored with pretty much no text. I look in my drawer... and I see some weird creation that I supposedly made as a child.. it was kind of cute... I get the notion that maybe I'm in the past... which would make sense giving my dead dogs being alive when I exited recently, but... if so, why am I projecting into the past... and I mean...

My MOM AND BROTHER are in the hall... so this time at least I can say I'm not in the past, since my brother is more or less the same age as he is now... so WTF is going on? I'm just lucid dreaming? How come? I EXITED MY BODY FOR CRYING OUT LOUD!!!! I'm 99% positive that when I phased back into my body from the lucid dream that I was in a real trance state, and not just imagining things... so why is this? Is my subconcious mind trying to seize control and throw me immediately back into a dreaming environment? I mean.. it makes no sense....

I wish that I could project during the day so that I might increase my chances of not going into an unrealistic dream environment, but I haven't been able to yet... but surely out of all the times I have induced vibrations and stepped out of my body I would have managed to enter an accurate RTZ at least ONCE?

I mean, I do recall, vaguely, one experience where my computer was in my room, and things looked normal as far as I could tell, but I still don't think my amp was there.

Actually I'm recalling this experience where I tried to give myself a new amp, and my old one was there.. but I'm not sure if the rest of the room was accurate, and I think it was a dream and not a vibration induced projection.

What am I doing wrong? When I'm in trance do I need to try to do energy work? Becuase I've done energy work before and it's only taken me to even less realistic dream like places... are my chakras just not developed enough to be able to go to RTZ? But then how come when I do do energy work I get really freaking weird and intense sensations.. like this one time I was working on my base chakra two nights ago and I felt a spark at the bottom of my spine then I felt really cold and tingly electricity flowing up and down my spine... I would think to be able to get those kind of feelings having only done his NEW energy excercises three or so times would mean my chakras are fairly open ? So... are they just not open enough? Do I need to try to get that electrical feel pulsing through my body while I'm undergoing vibrations? Why would I though? Aren't the vibrations THEMSELVES a signal that your chakras are wide open?

Or is this all just BS and a creation of the mind to begin with and I will never go to a RTZ or do anything that can be verified in real life, like contact fellow projectors and friends?

Also while I was OBE today I tried to call upon this guardian I created two nights ago, "Steve the bear" complete with a built in chaingun in his chest, quite a fun creation to make... well.. he didn't come... though stuffed animal bears started appearing in the room.

I tried to recreate him but couldn't... yet it was so easy the first time to create him.. Why is that? I was just about as conscious and aware then as I was last time, yet I couldn't get him to appear, and I couldn't recreate him, or anything else...

Did I not create him for real? I poured a lot of "energy" into him and he stayed with me that entire nights worth of dreams pretty much... and he would help me leave my body when I called his name, yet he's gone now.. why? Did I not put enough energy into him to allow him to reside in the astral for a long time? Was I really in the RTZ today and just a mirrored somewhat innaccurate version of the past, and you can't create creatures in the real world like that due to them running amok and causing problems? Then how come Bruce wrote about being in the RTZ and making himself a car, which he ended up getting a few days later? But if it isn't possible to make creatures in the real world (i wasn't intending to make him in the real world though) Then that would mean I wasn't RTZ the first time I created him, yet my room more or less looked exactly the same as it did now....

So how do I differentiate if that is the case, between the RTZ and just an astral recreation of my room or lucid dream? I'm so confused it isn't even funny... but there seems to be no reason for me to have not been able to recreate that bear... it was so easy the first time, and I've seen so many pictures of bears in my life that I should be able to conjure one up, even if it doesn't look horribly real, at least I should be able to get it moving and talking to me.

Also, how come if I'm not blind when leaving the body (which is very rare) when I see myself pull my hands out (which has only happened once or twice) they are white and translucent, yet.. once I'm out of my body I seem to have normal hands? I guess my mind is just accustomed to having a body maybe, but... it seems like I'm in a real OBE environment while leaving but as soon as I'm on the ground I'm in a lucid dream... or something?

Please help.

this was originally posted in
http://www.astralpulse.com/forums/topic.asp?TOPIC_ID=9227
but i moved it here, if you're interested though that thread describes my whole nights worth of bizarre dreams that i can remember.

Astral Pulse Island:
Was in my band room... and realized I had never tried to go to astral pulse island.. so I tried.. and suceeded, sort of.. the pyramid was there... but the island was empty, I yelled "helloooooooooooooo?" and heard my voice echo and echo and echo... there was a plane flying over head... I wandered around and saw a tall blue roller coaster, and a concert... some sort of really soft female type pop music...there were tons of people at the concert... I was asking them if they were projectors, most were like "what???" one girl said she was, and was from these boards... i asked for a username but i don't remember what  she said... she was kind of short and had short blonde hair... she took me by the hand, or I took her by the hand, not sure.. but we wandered around a bit, and I asked her why there is a roller coaster here, she said astral pulse members like roller coasters, so that was fine with me (I'm actually a roller coaster nut)... then I phased back into the dream of the band room for some reason and had difficulty getting back to that island, but I'd find other abandoned islands with halfway completed pyramids... one with a sign that said "astral pulse island, to be completed : " i don't remember the date it  gave...



so............................. I'm assuming this wasn't real, but.... maybe a mixture of dream and realness?

[DO NOT WAKE UP!!!]

This is gonna be long, but it's pretty freaking weird....

This all happened last night.. it includes such things as astral pulse island, possible spirits or higher beings contacing me, and me creating a spirit guardian.
edit: you know what, i'll cut the astral pulse island part out and post it in that specific forum.

So about the spirit guardian, is it possible to create on while lucid or in the astral, and then telling it to be your guardian, will it be there every night or will it cease to exist eventually? Or does just the act of creating it and remembering what it looks like and thinking about it in real life keep it alive so all you have to do is say it's name and it'll be there?

Anyway the order this takes is Spirits Contacting me, then the guardian, then astral pulse island, which I have marked like below... this is very long but I'd appreciate a few comments or two, especially on the issue of creating a spirit guardian and this weird stuff about spirits contacting me.

Spirits Contacting me:
First off, I had an incredibly strange dream. I'm in my brothers room sleeping in it for some reaosn, which I dream about a lot, and there is this girl there, I think she's in black, but for a large portion of the dream I couldn't really see her at all.

Apparently I knew her from some message boards (not these) and she was my g/f.... she was really odd and kind of crazy, which is not the kind of girl I'd really be looking to have as a girlfriend..... this dream was so long, like an hour or so, but i remember so little of it. I think we went to the movies, yet, I'm not sure if that may have just been another dream I had of her a long time ago, or just a fictional memory... but most of it takes place in my room...

She shows me this old thread I made, it just kind of comes into existance in my room floating in space... I click on it... it has this video of us messing around with barbie dolls, or... we ARE the barbie dolls, I'm not sure... but the instant I saw it triggered these "memories" and I felt really embarrassed and I quickly shut it off... it was like, I remembered the whole scene that was about to play out from somewhere before... yet I'm not sure I ever dreamed about it.. it was like a fabricated dream memory or something... and I don't really remember it right now at all.

At any rate I closed it and was embarrassed and stuff... more things happened that I can't really recall.. she wanted to show me something.... all of a sudden I went back in time, things were different, but I was still in the same room and grossly disoriented and freaking out... it was like 1955, or 2055, becuase on my watch it said something like 11-can't remember-55... and I'm freaking out.... then my dad comes into my room and he's asking me what I'm doing, and she's like "DO NOT WAKE UP!!!" and I really thought, that, my dad was really in there and he was waking me up... and I was trying to figure out how to explain why I was sitting on my bed cross legged talking to myself.... but I couldn't wake up, she didn't want me to.. somehow I transitioned my dad into nothingness and then she was back... and I wanted to know what in the world was going on...

And what she looked like... she showed me this pic... and it looks familiar like I've seen it before in real life.. and she was pretty good looking, not fantastic, but not bad.... and it was so weird because she's right there in my room, and I somehow "see" her, yet I don't, and I had to ask to see a picture to understand what she looks like... but after that she started taking on a more visible human form so to speak and was in black.

We started spinning around cross legged and transitioned back to the normal time... and I looked at my watch and realized that I was dreaming, so I was kind of flipping out and she told me to calm down and listen to her, or something like that.....

She was explaining something to me, something important I think... and she said "5 weeks and 5 days from now" and she repeated it like three times... then I had a false awakening into my real room and dreamed that I wrote that down, then I woke up into paralysis and forced myself awake and was going to write it down for real but figured I could remember it in the morning.. which I could....
(that would be 1-13-04, 5 weeks and 5 days from now)

However I can't be 100% positive it was 5 weeks and 5 days... i'm pretty sure they were both 5s, and that the first was weeks, though.

Later... I was lucid in my room and I tried to raise my energy levels and activate my chakras, and I ended up kind of false OBEing.. and I thought my room was 100% accurate (WAYYY FAR FROM THE TRUTH) and I thought I saw my body on my bed, only it didn't look quite right, but the more I looked at it the more it matched my body and what I was wearing at the time.....

I went downstairs to try to pull one of my dogs out of their sleeping bodies like I had read about people doing but couldn't succeede becuase I couldn't see their astral bodies, just physical... only... I noticed two of my somewhat recently departed dogs were there... and I was like WTF.... I'm in the past? I went back up to my room and my body was now a little black boy.. he woke up and started speaking to me about something that I couldn't for the life of me understand...

It had to do with my childhood... and he said something like "you were kicking and screaming and begging them not to do it, but I knew it would be good for you" and I think he was talking about having an OBE or something, maybe spirits inducing it, I'm not sure... but I totally didn't understand and I wanted him to SHOW ME, I locked eyes with him and asked him to show me what he's talking about, and he said he could, but that he shouldn't.

Then that kind of ended.




Spirit guardian:

First off, I got hassled and raped again, and I managed to start laying the smack down on the people doing it to me... at first I was paralyzed and couldn't see the person doing it to me, like always, so I started trying to say no in my mind, and eventually my voice got louder and more confident.. I reached out of my body and grabbed the guy doing this to me and started hitting and kicking and slicing at him and eventually I had normal vision and he was like this goblin.. and he was pretty hard to battle off.. I tried to make myself a mirror and reflect all his bad energy, which resulting in us staring each other down, which was pretty scary and I was thinking "i'm glad this is a goblin and not something scarier" and eventually I won, and I threw him into the corner of my bed and told him to never visit me again unless I specifically asked him to, and forced him to promise to... then I just left him there.... then he told me the killer whale was coming.. and it did... I started getting raped again, and again was back in paralysis and couldn't see and such.... it felt exactly the same as it did one night before, which felt like a new presence... I did the same to it, and yeah, it was a killer whale, or something... really screwed up.

I threw it in the corner and said the same to it.... and I did this with a nice handful of creatures... and they now looked like stuffed animals... which later on when being lucid were sitting on some shelf in my room, lifeless.

Well anyway I became lucid shortly thereafter, and I had been intending to try to create a spirit guardian to help me beat these things down when I sleep... so I made "Steve the bear" which is kind of an inside joke between my friends and I... I couldn't make him very big or too realistic, but it was good enough.. I started trying to pour energy into him and he started turning yellow and green and orange and stuff and then he started moving and I told him he was intelligent and capable of speech and that he would obey me and he was to be my guardian and not to kill things unless they are harming me or I ask him to.

He said okay... I petted him and said I loved him, and he said he did not feel emotions.. I told him he should.. but I didn't know how to give him the capacity to...

At any rate, I gave him a chain gun in the middle of his chest so that he could kill things from long range.. and had him test it out.. he fired on my door and it was pretty fricking sweet, didn't do as much damage as I wanted it to though, but it was good enough, I figured if this was for real that he'd grow in power with time.

So... we set out adventuring... half lucid, half not... now and then I'd encounter bad people, most likely fictional, and I'd have the bear lay waste upon them, which he was pretty good at, though you'd think one claw to a guys face and he'd be gone, which wasn't the case, Steve had a lot of work to do and wasn't as lethal as a bear with a chain gun should have been.

At one point I decided I was going to ride Steve, i asked him if that'd be okay and he said yes, so I mounted him and tried to teach him to fly, which worked, but not too well... so here I am flying around atop a bear... and like... I go visit my teacher.. I want to visit her sleeping physical body and pull her out of it, well.. I see her sitting in a chair motionless, it's all very vivid, I touch her and it feels real... so then.. I'm trying to figure out how I would go about pulling her out... I dont' see her astral body... I start trying to stimulate her chakras and she turns into some sort of Tool video like monster and as I work on her crown chakra her head splits open.. I'm kind of weirded out and I stop doing it and then she's her again... so... I'm like "okay, let's forget about this" I instruct steve to tear the door down, and we exit....

Later on I go to this old western like place, seemingly back in time, yet absent of people.. I find a gun... which pleases me since I was looking for one fairly desperately... a few semi fun gun battles with I'm not sure who ensued.. I think I was back at my teachers place doing some battle here and there... then I was battling one of my friends.. he was hiding in my room.. I had steve cut the door down with his chain gun then we both shot and killed each other, and argued about who died first....

Then I was out in some real pretty yet empty wilderness setting flying around and it was very beautiful....

Lucidity left... I was with my parents.. they were talking about how I liked my teacher and should take her to disneyland with us, I was upset that they knew that about me... memory blur... i'm not sure what else happened...


edit: astral pulse island stuff being moved to new thread in that forum http://www.astralpulse.com/forums/topic.asp?TOPIC_ID=9230

I was quite busy last night.

I just left my body about 15 minues ago.... I decided to take a nap.. spent a little time on energy work just to get relaxed mainly, spent an hour in bed feeling restful but having never successfully fallen asleep.. then I decided maybe I should get up and the next thing I know I've been asleep a long time, wake up briefly, go back to sleep, then go right into some real nasty sleep paralysis... only at one point I realized it WAS sleep paralysis so I just let my body get real heavy and start vibrating and I'm out very easy.

I'm almost blind and I start to go out the window... only when I'm looking out the window I see seemingly what is behind me, or an alternate reality... only when I leave I don't step into it, I'm on the ground... and I feel like I have ultra tight swimming goggles over my eyes and a complete lack of energy.

I float up into the air to try to meditate but I keep falling back down... at this point I feel my body and I'm halfway in it and halfway outside, like split consciousness or something, but I push myself back to the out of body consciousness... and then I feel this really weird pressure on my teeth... I'm trying not to worry about it but it feels really bad.

I think I hear or imagine voices talking about me... saying "yeah, his teeth are pretty screwed up" and commenting on my sleeping position... I then shift awareness into my body and feel my teeth falling out... so I promptly try to wake myself up which is really hard.

My teeth are fine, as are my eyes.

This isn't the only time something like this has happened to me before either... one time I vividly felt my nose bleeding while out of body and was extremely worried that I was about to drown in my own blood. Only to come back to a just fine blood free body.

What's going on?

So far these experiences have only happened when I physically exit the body, rather than letting it exit on its own.

I can't recall my body ever being in the room with me when I step out.

Why is this? I can confidently for say that I have FOR REAL stepped out of my body 2-3 times... yes it's during the night but I'm fairly positive those times were not dreams.

Yet as soon as I'm out, my body isn't there.

I'm usually blind when I exit too.. but there have been times when I've seen myself float out, and once or twice have seen me pulling my astral hands (white and see through) out...

Yet once I'm out of my body, I generally feel like I'm still in a physical body and I'm not sure but I think I look like I normally do physically.

Also, the objects in my room almost never look right... am I not projecting into real time? If so, then how do I project into real time? Do I have to stimulate my chakras and pull energy through my body more?

And is there a way to project from lucid dreams so that you can go to higher planes of reality? I'm always stuck in the lowest ones, usually really bad copies of the real world that are innacurate and nonsensical. If I could even get TO the real world from my lucid dreams somehow, that alone would be fantastic (is it possible?)

I know these questions have been asked before but I've been browsing and searching these forums for a while and can't really find that many answers. The split mind thing in the training article would explain why my body is never there, but it doesn't expalin why upon immediately exiting my body, it's still gone.

Man I just have so many unanswered questions........ are there any experienced projectors/lucid dreamers that might be willing to give me their AIM name(s)? I kind of feeel this need to interact with someone who knows what they are doing in real time rather than make a lot of threads that don't get many replies.

I'll try to keep this short.

I had a lucid dream, I'm not sure how I entered it but I recall falling asleep and seeing my high school, then it disappeared, I tried very hard to see it again, and could keep it in my head for a few seconds, growing longer each time it popped up, after a while I tried to step into it and I think I succeeded.

This may have been a different dream though, I can't remember.

What I do remember is that I went flying... I attempted to fly into space so that I could orbit the Earth and land wherever I wanted, I didn't succeede..... so I looked at the sun, which I assumed to be setting, and flew where I thought East was.... flew as fast as I could and as high as I could, with limited successs... I didn't know where I was going, at first I wanted to go to Vegas, but that's west of me... I figured cardinal directions didn't matter since this is just a dream and where I ended up resulted largely on my subconscious and the few scattered thoughts and beliefs I had while flying... but at any rate I came to a mountain range which I could not fly over...

I decided to fly through it, which took a lot of will power... so I was tunneling through the mountain and these strange silver and metallica looking tunnels would pop up, naturally I got a bit nervous wondering what kind of strange things might live in the middle of a mountain, but I pushed those thoughts aside and tried to fly in a straight path rather than through the tunnel systems I saw.

I was in the mountain for about 5 minutes and ended up in a sewer full of crocodiles, which of course didn't feel hesitant to start biting me... well... I was having some difficulty getting out of the sewer whilst battling crocodiles but I succeeded... I came out and there was a cop with her gun drawn threating to shoot me... I disarmed her and carried on, the got shot several times in various places... no matter...

I was in some really cool looking city, and I wasn't sure which city it was, but I wanted to go to New York... for a second it looked like New York, but the buildings were kind of changing... I took flight and ended up at what would appear to be Cape Canaveral, they were about to launch a shuttle... only instead of it being along an ocean it was along a small bay type area with trees along the end of it, forming a sort of wall around the scene, as if, there were nothing beyond the trees.

This more or less ended.

A long while later I became lucid, stepped outside, floated up into the air, and said something akin to "i'm asking any and all higher good astral beings, such as angels, to take me to a place of unimagined beauty" ....... well... i started spinning at this point, and looked up at the sky, and it was kind of like one of those transitions where a vetical line rotates around the screen... on the left of the vertical line was a beautiful dark blue sky, on the right was the normal sky, and as it spun around it was transforming things, but I was spinning along side it. I stopped spinning, only to stop the transition halfway through, so I figured I'd better resume spinning and let the transition finish.

It did.... and wow.... it wasn't what I'd call "unimaginable beauty" and I've been to better places, but... it was very cool. The sky was like a painting..... very very rich dark navy blue, and the clouds were kind of like renaissance artworks, kind of like on the cistine chapel, only all white.... it was very remniscent of Smashing Pumpkins type artwork, for lack of better terms... but it was very serene and beautiful.

There were these long colorful sticks resembling tinker toys stranded about everywhere.... and I started flying around and I asked where this was, and a rather annoyed voice said "the land of camping stars" but it was hard to hear him, so I repeated "the land of camping stars?" and he said yes.

I flew around and someone, seemingly me said "they sure are all looking at us strangely"...... but... who was US? I'm not sure... I also wasn't really aware that this place was inhabited by people. As I was flying over and around and through the tinker toy complex I noticed figures on the ground... and I "clicked" on them, much like Ever Quest, and they were spiders.... well.. that was okay... they didn't look harmful and I was up in the air... well... at least I was...

Now I'm on the ground and the spiders are fairly large, but not larger than me, they aren't particularly real or hostile looking, and are brightly colored, yellow and black and such... one bit me... I wasn't freaking out, but I wasn't really pleased to be in their presence and was trying to get away....

I woke up kicking and punching my sheets for a good 15 seconds, then wrote "the land of camping stars" down ona piece of paper.

So................................................

Has anyone ever been here? I'm assuming it's not a definite "land" in the astral realm that anyone can go to, and more or less a creation of my mind... but... well.. it was really strange...

Also, the voice of whoever it was I was asking about this land... it was the same voice as the last time I tried to get a higher life form to speak with me.

I had dreamed about my friend killing himself and I was looking up at the stars asking the constellations for help (i'm not sure why i was asking CONSTELLATIONS for help, though)... "Leo" came down, and he didn't seem pleased to be helping me, but he stayed with me and was rather gruff and to the point and annoyed sounding...

with the exact same almost inaudible and perhaps internally perceived (? my subconscious ?) voice as the one in this land of the camping stars dream.

Okay so... one last thing, I read you aren't supposed to be able to close you eyes when projecting.. and though I did not induce vibrations and leave my body today, we are always in the astral body when we dream right? Especially when you cross over to lucidity? Well I closed my eyes just fine, and after a while I started seeing inner eye visions representing what I used to see with them opening... and eventually they transitioned into vivid pictures just as they were with my eyes open.

There was a definite closing action involved though.

Okay, this is going to be really long and disorganized, but I have so much to say and things are really confusing right now.

First off, I regularly have lucid dreams, if I don't have at least 3 a week it's abnormal, and I usually have 3-5 per night.

So having said that, the author of this site claims that dreams are a sort of "fantasy" like projection, and not into the actual real world.....

Now.... this more or less seems true, but often times I will have many false awakenings where I know I'm not awake the second I "wake up" and my room looks more or less identical to how it should, minus there are no decorations on the wall and my computer isn't there and my amp usually isn't there.

This may be due to those objects having not had an impact onto the astral realm of sorts yet? Well.. at any rate I can go outside and everything is more or less real and layed out like it should be, but once I wander around town it falls apart and is dream like.

Lately whenever I wake up into my room I go out the window or front door, fly up in the air, and ask to be taken to the higher self of one or two select individauls (one being my teacher)....

Well, this worked extraodinarily well at first, given that any other times I tried to see my teacher in my dreams she never looked right, and I figured the key thing I was doing right was asking to see her HIGHER SELF.... so.... I saw her... talked to her about things, etc... it was very cool...

One time I did that... and instead of going to a usual mental representation of what her house/apartment looks like (i'm assuming I wasn't actually REALLY there) I went to this place and saw a violent scene involving a black man that was on the verge of killing his family.

That night, I also kept dreaming that my friend had killed himself... so upon becoming lucid I sought my friend out and made sure he was doing okay.

Then a few days later I had a dream that one of my other friends died, the way the news was presented to me was much the same as before. I tried to contact him but failed... ended up seeing his girlfriend in what I assume to be the "future" and she was very lonely and I got the impression that he was either cheating on her or neglecting her.... he had a huge mansion.... well anyway to keep things short I confronted "him" only he looked nothing like himself and I made things good between the two again.

Umm..... also, I've been plagued with negative episodes of sleep paralysis for the past few months... demons, spiders, scorpions, a giant scorpio like man, a witch or two, a girl that insisted she was Satan..... yeah.. it's not fun... and I keep having these dreams where I am "sleeping" (like, usually not in my own bed either, but I'm like laying down trying to sleep) and people will be doing sexual things to me that I don't want them to be doing, and they are usually male.

This happened last night, and it was a baby doing these things to me, I was about to kill him but I couldn't do it... and I told him to leave me alone and never come back again....

I don't understand what this means... I mean it could be that I'm sexually confused.... which given my status as a virgin makes sense, though I thoroughly enjoy women and find no attraction to men... the baby could I guess represent my sexual innocence I guess, but it's irnoic that he is violating me....

I don't know.

Then we have the dreams in which I dream that I am projecting. Often times I'll dream that I'll lie down somewhere and project, and I usually come out into my room.... what in the world does this mean? Am I really projecting if I'm doing so within a dream? I feel the vibrations and everything.........

Then sometimes I will be unsure of whether I'm awake or sleeping and project from my bed.

Once in a while I'll be positive that I'm awake and I'll let my body go back to sleep but keep my mind awake and project... but... it's... it's just a lucid dream... I always end up in my room, weird stuff happens, with an overall tendency to be negative.. I even once worked on balancing my chakras before I left only to step outside of my house and see part of it on fire.....

I have yet to be able to project from waking via meditation and cannot get my thoughts to stop without drifiting in and out of consciousness and becoming severely tired....

I've had two extremely bizarre dreams within the past two weeks also, which I'm going to paste in here:

this is what I wrote on 11-10-2003

Saturday.... had this dream that I can't remember very well, I was talking to a man about dreaming, and about pot, and he said something akin to "Do you know what happens when you wake up?" and he was talking about waking up a lot, and then he asked me again, and I realized that if I woke up, I was going to cease to exist.....

and then BOOM there is just nothingness, all that is there is my mind, but I can feel it rapidly decaying.... I'm screaming this distorted fuzzy internal scream like I've never heard before... crazy excrement... and that scream remains in my head well upon waking up, and then slowly fades away.
to elaborate on that.... I felt like I was really dying... I've had my fair share of nightmares and hypnagogic hallucinations and really weird things happen to me, but this really felt real.... the adrenaline rush... some intense vibrations, but not of the projecting variety (at least I think, I can't remember very well) and that scream..... eminating from within and echoing inside my entire being, body, and spirit.....

this is what I wrote a few days ago, I had the dream on 11-23 I believe.

I was reading a thread on some other forums I post on called "Dream Fantasy" and someone said something akin to "If you have a dream within a dream, doesn't that cancel the two out, making the dream not real?".... most of the posts were incoherent, which is to be expected from dream content... the last post in there I clearly remember saying "a! f*cking......." something something..... I have it written down.... but... what it said isn't important.....

Anyway, this dream I was in lasted a very long time and spanned many different scenes and scenarios and even involved perhaps a dream within a dream or two, as I did dream about sleeping.... at the end of it I was back at that thread, and to my recollectoin (in the dream that is) it said THE EXACT SAME THINGS as it said before, right down to the very last post... now... I was not lucid, but I wasn't quite normal dream stupid, and I realized that this shouldn't be.... the posts should have drastically changed given the nature of text within dreams.....

Well I read the last post, and it triggered a chaotic reaction within me much like the first one when that man said something to me.... I was on my side in my bed, vibrating fiercly, hearing electricity running back and forth through my head and feeling it go through my body.... in pulses.... during each pulse, I could see and hear, to an extent, but inbetween them I was in nothingness, but still had a sense of general existance.... my dad was there, and he was saying something like "please stop shaking" but.... it was broken up and fragmented due to the pulsated hearing going on..... I kind of thought maybe I was dying and EMTs were trying to revive me.... but I decided it would be acceptable to will myself out of this, so I did.... and everything was normal.... and I was like "hmm... that was interesting"

I wonder what would have happened if I didn't decide to "live" during that moment... I know it wasn't real... and I didn't really panic of freak out like I did the first time, but while I was in that brief state I kind of halfway felt it might have been real.... what if I had decided "no... i'll just stay like this...." ?

So I mean... a lot of weird stuff is going on, it doesn't bother me too much, though... the sexual ones tend to.... I wonder if perhaps it's karma for my... umm.... "sex sprees" I go on when I become lucid, maybe I'm actually entering those peoples dreams and such? I dont' know.. I doubt it, but...

I'm just overly confused about this whole projection stuff, I want to be able to do it from waking but I have a horrible time clearing my head, as if I clear surface thoughts I hear subconscious thoughts, and they are next to impossible to clear.... I cannot visualize at all... I just tried the ROPE exercise briefly today and perhaps I can achieve something with it... but...

I'm just looking for comments on anything I wrote, advice, interpretation, etc... I'm kind of lost... I've been lucid dreaming for several years only it hasn't really picked up until this year... I'm progressing in what I'm able to do in the dreams nicely....

I've only "projected" (during the early morning upon waking up and letting my body go back to sleep) maybe 4 or 5 times... it's very hard to do when you're that tired, but it's the only way I've been successful.... but there just isn't any difference whatsoever in the projections and my lucid dreams... none....

I want to be able to go to higher realms of consciousness... I want to actually visit REAL places, or at least, places that look realistic enough to make me think they are real.... I'd like to be able to interact with the REAL higher selves of people so that I may resolve issues and stuff... and perhaps influence my future in positive ways.

Sorry for making this so long.

edit: The TOS is kind of unclear...is mild usage of profanity acceptable on these boards? I'm assuming non graphically and generically describing sexuality (as in the dreams I had) is acceptable given the nature of dreams in general and the fact that these seem to be mature boards... so... if anything I posted wasn't acceptable please do forgive me, I went ahead and "censored" myself a bit with the profanity... I'm assuming the dream content was vague enough to not be anything offensive or upsetting though.)

this is a really good to the point article, if any of you have Dish TV I cannot recommend enough that you watch FSTV, it's one of the 9 thousand channels... I wish DirecTV would carry it... I watched it today at my grandmas house while housesitting and I'm not sure words could adequately express how happy I was to find that a highly alternative and independant media free of censorship (including censorship of profanity and probably nudity) existed......

We have a voice it seems, and the fact that it is on DISH TV is encouraging, milions of people have access to it, though how many watch it?

http://www.freespeech.org/fsitv/fscm2/contentviewer.php?content_id=882

excerpt:
Dr John Simpson, executive director for surgical affairs at the Royal Australasian College of Surgeons, told Ritt Goldstein of the Asia Times, "I would have thought that all the people in the vicinity would have been covered in blood, in a matter of seconds ... if it [the video] was genuine".

Simpson agrees with other experts who find it highly probable that Berg had died before his decapitation.




Home > Who killed Nick Berg?


Who killed Nick Berg?

By Richard Neville, From Sydney Morning Herald

Conspiracy theories about how the kidnapped American died in Iraq are flying around the world. Richard Neville explores the explanations.

Iraq in flames, Washington an object of disgust. What to do? At this pivotal moment, CNN and Fox News are tipped off to a clip of an American citizen being beheaded. The victim is a 26-year-old idealist from Pennsylvania, Nick Berg. Despite the perpetrators being masked, the vile deed is deemed the work of al-Qaeda.

The clip was first "discovered" on an Islamic website in Malaysia. Its Arabic title reads "Abu Musab al-Zarqawi shown slaughtering an American". al-Zarqawi is a 38-year-old Jordanian militant who fled to Iraq in 2001 after reportedly losing a leg in a US missile strike. al-Zarqawi's face is widely known and he credits himself with the deed, so why a mask?

The timing of the video was brilliant for the West. Media pundits judged the crime a deeper evil than the systemic torture of innocent Iraqis. But some people sensed a rat. But if it was not al-Qaeda, who? Surely not Uncle Sam. That's too dark, even for the CIA.

While this video shows a human body having its head chopped off, it does not necessarily portray an act of murder. Berg's headless body was found dumped on a Baghdad roadside on Saturday, May 8.

Three days later, the "live beheading" clip was uploaded from London to the Malaysian website http://www.al-ansar.biz. The statement in the video is signed with al-Zarqawi's name, dated May 11. After Fox News and CNN had downloaded the video, it disappeared from the site.

As no autopsy is available, little is known about the state of the body. No time of death, no forensic analysis. On April 6, a month before the discovery of the corpse, Berg had been released from custody. But whose custody?

Dan Senor, adviser to the US Presidential Envoy in Iraq, has said Berg was never held by the Americans. Brigadier General Mark Kimmitt, the Coalition's deputy head of operations, claimed he was in the custody of Iraqi police from March 24 to April 6. However, the Iraqi police chief, Major-General Mohammed Khair al-Barhawi, told Associated Press "the Iraqi police never arrested the slain American".

Berg's family are certain his jailers were the US military. His father, Michael, had been told so by the FBI. He has produced an email from a US consular official in Baghdad, Beth Payne, confirming that his son was in the hands of the US. (Later, another official said this was an error.) On April 5 in the Philadelphia office of the US Supreme Court, the Berg family had launched an action against the US military for false imprisonment. The following day, Berg was released.

The issue of custody is significant; in his final moments on screen Berg is wearing an orange jumpsuit of the kind familiar from Guantanamo Bay. The official reasons for Berg's arrest were "lack of documentation" and "suspicious activities". He carried sensitive electronic equipment for which he lacked documents. In custody, he was visited three times by the FBI. Such interviews are bound to have been recorded but no transcripts have been produced.

After his release, Berg travelled to Baghdad and the $30-a-night Al-Fanar Hotel. A fellow hotel guest told Newsday that Berg recounted how Iraqi police had quickly handed him to US authorities in Mosul and that he had been held the entire time in a jail where his guards were US soldiers.

Berg was in Baghdad to win contracts for his family firm, Prometheus Methods Tower Service, a provider of communications facilities. He often "worked at night on a tower in the neighbourhood of Abu Ghraib", according to The New York Times.

The family last heard from him on April 9, when he said he was planning to leave Iraq via Kuwait as soon as it was safe. Berg was last seen walking with his bags the following day, apparently hoping to find his way through the turmoil engulfing the city and make it to the border.

On March 7, 2004, two weeks before his arrest in Mosul, an "enemies list" had been posted on a conservative website, FreeRepublic.com. The list was compiled from signatories to an anti-war petition, and its implied purpose was to encourage readers to harass those it named.

Berg's father was on that list, as was the family firm, Prometheus. This information may well have triggered the arrest of Berg in Iraq.

Berg's politics are not clear. His father, Michael, has described his son as a "staunch supporter" of US President George Bush. Friends said Nick believed he could help rebuild Iraq "one radio tower at a time". According to The New York Times, he was attracted to the Hebrew concept of tikkun olam - healing the world through social action.

The first few seconds of the video shows Berg sitting on a white plastic chair in an orange jumpsuit. He speaks directly to the camera in a relaxed way: "My name is Nick Berg ... I have a brother and sister, David and Sara. I live in Philadelphia." His white chair is identical to those in the photographs of the Abu Ghraib prison tortures, but such chairs are probably common in Iraq. It is highly likely that this segment is edited from the interrogation of Berg during his 13 days of custody.

In the next scene, Berg is sitting on the floor with five masked figures standing behind him. We do not see the figures enter. Berg looks lifeless, though his body appears to make slight movements. A man reads a lengthy Arabic statement in a passionless monotone. He is identified as "Abu Musab al-Zarqawi", a Jordanian associate of Osama bin Laden who is tied to dozens of terrorist acts.

Yet a leaflet recently circulated in Falluja, by no means a reliable source, claims that al-Zarqawi was killed in the Sulaimaniya mountains of northern Iraq during a US bombing. A US military report last month has claimed al-Zarqawi was killed in the bombing of Falluja.

Also, the US Secretary of State, Colin Powell, has said that al-Zarqawi was fitted with a prosthetic leg in a Baghdad hospital, yet the tape shows no evidence of a limp. CNN staff familiar with al-Zarqawi's voice have been quoted as saying the voice does not sound like his.

Among the many curiosities raised on the web about the fanatical five are:

-They are well-fed, fidgety, and reveal glimpses of white skin.

-Their Arabic is heavily accented (Russian, Jordanian, Egyptian).

-An aside in Russian had been translated as "do it quickly".

-One character wears wears bulky white tennis shoes.

-The man on the far left stands in the familiar "at ease" military posture.

-The men's scarves are worn and tied by people who "haven't a clue", says conspiracy theorist Hector Carreon, like actors in Hollywood movies.

-There is even a voice at the end that seems to ask in English, "How will it be done?" [http://www.aztlan.net/nick_berg_how_done.htm]

None of this proves a grand conspiracy, but it does raise questions. In the final segment of the tape, Berg is thrown to the ground, but doesn't move. During the decapitation, starting at the front of the throat, there is little sign of blood. The scream is wildly out of sync, sounds female, and is obviously dubbed.

Dr John Simpson, executive director for surgical affairs at the Royal Australasian College of Surgeons, told Ritt Goldstein of the Asia Times, "I would have thought that all the people in the vicinity would have been covered in blood, in a matter of seconds ... if it [the video] was genuine".

Simpson agrees with other experts who find it highly probable that Berg had died before his decapitation.

But there is still the problem of Berg's slight body movements while sitting on the floor, before the beheading. According to a blogger (internet diarist), Nick Possum, "this footage was subsequently modified frame by frame to make Berg's body move very occasionally". Apparently, this can be achieved with "commonly available software". [http://www.brushtail.com.au/nick_berg_hypothesis.html]

Possum believes "the available evidence surrounding the case suggests that it was a 'black operation' by US psychological warfare specialists ... to provide the media with a moral relativity argument to counter the adverse publicity over torture at Abu Ghraib". The use of FBI footage in the opening sequence, if confirmed, suggests the involvement of high-level US Government operatives.

I do not know who killed Nick Berg, or how he died. But there's something fishy about this video.

In the end, the question is: who killed Nick Berg, and why?

[my parents]

I live in Oklahoma, there are a lot of bible thumping rednecks out here.

My mom used to fly a damn flag on her SUV... though now she has an even bigger less fuel efficient SUV, minus the flag.

When 9/11 hit, I was fairly young, stupid (or ignorant more correctly) and impressionable... I was more than happy with genocide, I wanted us to nuke them.

What's sad is so did my parents grown adults, who don't have much execuse for such ignorance.

I mean, we are no different than the terrorists, we think we have some sort of superiority, but we don't.

If you put us out there in those horrible third world situations, left us to believe our countries propoganda, you'd better believe we'd hate America.

I mean, imagine your family gets blown up, and you don't know why, and some respected religious figure tells you it's the US's fault, they are a bunch of ignorant redneck christians (they certainly are! listen to Bush's speeches about God and the war) and they are launching a holy war on us.

You'd want to fight back, to save yourself, to save other people's families, to keep your religion safe... you'd definitely want to fight back.

We are not fundamentally different, we are crying for blood just as much as they are......

Nationalism is a DISEASE

unless you were in a dictatorship and fled to this country on your own, there is no reason to be pround to be an American... YOU DIDN'T DO A DAMN THING TO BE BORN HERE... you know? What's the deal? OOOH yay I was randomly born here, that means I'm better than everyone else!

Well guess what, that's how everyone, everywhere, in every country feels.

We aren't special. We aren't the land of the free (being undisputedly the most backwards western nation in existence).... you know.... there are facets of this country that are great, that are worth being proud of, but right now, we don't stand for any of those things.

So it's like.... if you rally up and want us to bomb so and so and such and such and you endorse concentration camps and whatnot... you're just as bad as the terrorists, if not worse, since you have little excuse for such ignorance having access to.. a degree... independant media... I mean, if you don't have the internet you're kind of screwed and have to watch various propogandic crap (FOX News).. but I mean... we aren't nearly as brainwashed as some other third world countries where "evil" terrorists live.

We are a threat to them, they are defending themselves from us... end of story... likewise, they are a threat ot us, we are defending ourselves from them.

Neither of us are good, both of us are evil... the way I see it.

I'd rather live here than in the middle east though obviously, I do value what little freedoms we still have that haven't been negated inteh war on terror, or drugs, or by various religious authorities that have gotten into power and held a stranglehold over our progress as a nation (responsible for censorship and whatnot)

end rant, for now.

How is kerry going to tax you into to poverty?

Last time I heard middle class tax cuts, upper class tax raises.

Where as Bush is for upper class tax cuts and is considering raising middle class taxes, AND, well, I heard something about an AMT clause from CBS news that screws middle class people over.


also the US gov is responsible for murdering millions of innocent people over the past few years... does that mean it's okay to slaughter us? Does that make 9/11 okay?

A lot of us have no issues with randomly kiling brown people, maybe it does, maybe the US citiziens as a whole are worthless intoelrant people not much better than the Taliban, does that make 9/11 okay?

Killing 3000 Nazis is just as bad as killing 3000 Jews at any rate.....

you can justify anything, fact of the matter is it was wrong, it was illegal, it ("Taliban" slaughter) was horrible, and I hope to God it's just a huge lie, but it doesn't sound that way.

keep in mind we round up any males aged 18-65 and call them enemy combatants in iraq, I'm sure many of those "Taliban" killed had done nothing at all wrong or killed anyone.

on the subject of Moore, Farenheight 9/11 was banned in the US?

I thought the Cannes thing was just a screening permier and that we'd see it sometime this year before November definitely...?

Banning that film just cries out "I'm guilty, impeach me now!" .....

not to mention HEIL HITLER GO NAZISM YAY C*NSORSHIP!!!!!

(i hate censorship)

free country..... you can't even hear a guy say "cornhole" on office space at 9 at night? (nevermind beavis saying it a lot in various episodes of B&B... which confuses me to no end)

"In the 70s Coke company did a subliminal test in the movie theaters - they took an image of a coke can and put in in the move every 30th frame. The frame goes so fast you never see it - but the brains of the people watching it caught it - and as a result coke sales during intermission rose about 75%."

I'm pretty sure that is a load of crap, I mean, people want coke at the movies, you know? I remember reading in depth analysis of how that study was fake, but at any rate sublminals may have SOME impact upon you... the idea is that they ARE NOT SUBLIMINAL you pick up on them, to a degree, you just aren't entirely sure of what it is you are picking up on.

A lot of the tests they use are kind of leading anyway like putting "scratch your nose" in a song, I mean come on, I scratch my nose all the time, I dont' need subliminals for it.

but hmm... I might give the putting my suggestions underneath my favorite songs thing a try.

[your loving relationship RUINS the sanctity of marriage, you can't marry, we don't want anything to do with you at all, but you can have civil unions]

but there are too many children on this planet, widespread of acceptance of homosexuality might actually help save the world if you think about it.....

besides, not everyone wants to have kids, and gay peopel can adopt unwanted kids, which helps the world too, you know, throw a kid in a dumpster? Well... you could just give him to someone who would be more than willing to lovingly take care of him.

(this doesn't mean i'm anti-abortion but I do prefer adoption)

and separate but equal is stupid, it's a way of us saying that our "marriage" is still superior to yours, it creates "us" and "THEM" and it pits the uses and thems against each other.

Imagine how it would feel to be in love with someone and you konw, you believe in marriage due to the way you were raised, and you want nothing more than to declare your undying love with this person by marrying him/her but society not only says "no" they say "THAT'S WRONG, THAT'S EVIL, IT RUINS THE SANCTITY OF MARRIAGE" your loving relationship RUINS the sanctity of marriage, you can't marry, we don't want anything to do with you at all, but you can have civil unions

that is hurtful, and wrong, and stupid, and intolerant.

hmm... maybe the new US holochaust will be committed against fundamentalist christians succeeding from the union rather than new age government questioning hippies?

Hmm....

that's just absurd and funny, if it happens I wouldn't know whether to laugh or cry.

where did that picture come from upstream? It's rather disturbing....

the only good thing about them.

equal rights feminists... EQUAL RIGHTS.

To those of you thinking this war actually helps fight terror...

http://story.news.yahoo.com/news?tmpl=story&cid=1512&ncid=1512&e=20&u=/afp/20040525/wl_afp/iiss_world_040525114556

Al-Qaeda boosted by Iraq war, warns think-tank

Tue May 25, 7:45 AM ET
   
   Add World - AFP to My Yahoo!

LONDON (AFP) - The US-led war on Iraq (news - web sites), far from countering terrorism, has helped revitalise the Al-Qaeda terror network, the International Institute for Strategic Studies (IISS) think-tank warned.


AFP/File Photo

   

The London-based body said in its annual Strategic Survey 2003/2004 that the deadly train bombings in Madrid in March, the worst terror strike in Europe for more than a decade, showed that Osama Bin Laden's terror network "had fully reconstituted".

It also predicted the Islamic group would step up its anti-Western attacks, possibly even resorting to weapons of mass destruction and targeting Americans, Europeans and Israelis while continuing to support insurgents opposing the US-led occupation of Iraq.

The IISS pointed to devastating blasts in Morocco, Saudi Arabia and Turkey in 2003 and 2004 as further evidence that anti-US sentiment had soared since the Iraq war.

"In counter-terrorism terms, the intervention has arguably focused the energies and resources of al-Qaeda and its followers while diluting those of the global counter-terrorism coalition that appeared so formidable following the Afghanistan (news - web sites) intervention in late 2001," the report said.

However, since the war it said that arms proliferation and state-sponsored terrorism has dwindled, with Libya giving up its unconventional weapons programs and Syria becoming "less provocative."

Stalinist North Korea (news - web sites)'s secret nuclear programme was somehow contained thanks to a negotiating process while Iran agreed to cooperate with the International Atomic Energy Agency over its nuclear activities, the IISS said.

But another legacy of the war was what the IISS termed a highly questionable recourse to pre-emptive strikes as a means of counter-proliferation, as well as "the uses and abuses of intelligence as a basis for military action."

The IISS said the United States, which has dominated world affairs since the end of the Cold War, had failed to understand that Al-Qaeda's September 11, 2001 attacks were "a violent reaction to America's pre-eminence" and it urged the superpower to temper "the appearance of American unilateralism".

It warned that Washington would have a hard time restoring order in embattled Iraq and stressed that the conflict had brought a political split between the United States and its continental European allies, leaving Britain stuck in the middle.

The survey additionally forecast a possible attention shift away from terrorism, Middle Eastern problems and weapons proliferation should North Korea opt for a more aggressive stance, a humanitarian disaster hit Africa or undesirable regime-changes "produce abrupt and serious security challenges".

The United States will not manage to tackle all of the above single-handedly, warned the think-tank, raising a question mark over Europe's ability to break away from "strategic arthritis."



^ I've been saying those things forever but now I have a nifty link to back me up.

no leaf clover...

the one thing i can't agree with is the Pearl Harbor thing... it is not solidly proven (but given how history repeats itself [think 9/11]) likely, that we let Pearl  Harbor happen so that we could give the Americans a reason to go to war.

It is proven, that during our witch hunt against commies, the military drafted plans to COMMIT ACTS OF TERRORISM ON US CITIZIENS AND BLAME IT ON CUBAN TERRORISM to go to war with Cuba.

It is probably that Bush let 9/11 happen so that he could get his hands in some oil and set up some US dictatorships over in the middle east.

Let me ask you.... why didn't he have to be under oath during the 9/11 comission? Why can't we hear what he had to say? Why won't he apologize to his families? Even I feel like apologizing to them and I didn't do anything...... why was the comission delayed for so many years? Why can't we see their official conclusive report? Why all the secrecy? Why have a bunch of notorious big brother thugs and players (i.e. John Poindexter) working for you?

What happened to the pentagon? Where was the plane wreckage? How could a huge plane hit such a small building? How come the damage done to the pentagon looked like it was done by a WINGLESS PLANE? Where were the wings? How could a wingless plane fly into the pentagon at a couple hundred miles per hour.....

Why did various eyewitnesses say a BOMB went off, and nothing about a plane? Why did Rumsfield originally say terrorists used missles against the WTC? Why did various WTC survivors say several bombs went off inside in the building? Why did various demolition crews announce they were hired to demolish some of the lesser WTC buildings that day?

Why were all the hijackers saudi yet we invaded Afghanistan? Why go after the taliban who would not give us access to an oil pipeline we wanted?

Why why why why why why why.....

All it takes is a rational man with an internet connection to realize shady things are going down.

quote:Originally posted by Nay

quote:The only sane rational for a draft would be if we had foreign invaders pouring into our borders or something

I'm wondering if we weren't over there right now, if this is exactly what would be happening.  I don't live in NY but I bet the people of NY feel that they were pretty much invaded.

When you say foreign invaders are you talking about the thousands of illegal aliens that cross are boarders everyday?  Florida alone is estimated to have 420,000..[:O]

Nay

9/11 has nothing to do with Iraq, it never did. Bush wanted to invade Iraq before 9/11 happened, he entered office wanting to do so.

As for New Yorkers, a lot of them are idiots, but a lot of them, including 9/11 victims, HATE Bush, HATE this war, HATE the secrecy enshrouding the attacks, HATE the censorship of 9/11 documents, HATE the gagging of anyone who was damning evidence showing they lied out their asses about the attacks. HATE the patriot act and how it is used to strip our freedoms away.

I don't think we'll see New Yorkers welcoming a draft.

But of course people will always use the good old sappy ignorant

have you forgotten... how it felt that day
to see your homeland under fire and your people blown away...
don't you tell me not to worry bout bin laden...
have you forgotten

line of thinking to justify our invasion and perversion of Iraq and Iraqi culture.

Bottom line, the Bush administration is the biggest threat to our freedom we have ever seen.

[democratic]

how do you register as an objector?

and uhh...

I'm for the draft...... YAY DRAFTING!!!!! ROUND UP ALL THOSE HIPPIES AND HAVE THEM KILLED!

The only sane rational for a draft would be if we had foreign invaders pouring into our borders or something, if the people don't want to die for oil, the people don't want to die for oil, if you can't get enough damn troops to fight your wars maybe you should consider why you waged them in the first place.

afterall, it's a "free country" a democratic republic, we say hell no we won't go, you should LISTEN!

I need to get out of here.....

that's a nice metaphor, I believe I have likened the sleeping process much to an elastic band.... at first it's very hard, pretty soon you are bouncing all over the place and each time you go further in both directions.....

i never really thought it out THAT deep though....

I can watch an image fade for 1-2 seconds, that isn't enough.. do you mean watch it fade away, or actually make it stay there and real for 1-2 seconds? If so I'm not sure how to do that, granted, turn your normal mind off, but how? When it's in the middle of the morning that's one thing, at night, entirely another.

also when i have sex in a dream the women told to some mushy human clay form with no clear human charateristics and incorrect anatomy

I have to try my damn hardest to say "okay you should have a vagina here, and it should look like this.... now.. you should be moving and making noise while i'm doing you... okay... your face shouldn't be upside down.... umm... your boobs should be big.... umm... you shouldn't look exactly like me" and so on.

they look just like real girls from a distance, but when I start doing them they lose all realism, this pisses me off so much bcause I can direct two dream characters to have sex and their parts look realistic and they behave like normal people would behave while having sex... yet if I try to do it... NOTHING... not a thing.

It often times feels like I'm having sex with a wall or something, there is nothing to penetrate... it's like I'm almost doing it with my bed in real life which is why I can't get good sensations in dream, or something.

Maybe I need to video tape myself while I sleep? I don't know, does anyone have this problem? I'm a virgin so I can understand some grey areas my subconscious has to fill in, but sex is instinctual and burned in our memories.... and.... well, I've seen enough porn to reconstruct a female body, yet... most times... I can't.

I guess my mind is trying to tell me I have insane issues with sex or something, but I don't know why it can't just give me a nice orgasm... I never have them... if I do I wake up when they begin and nothing happens.

quote:Don't go for any slutty women, and be careful to check your patner by ordering your interpretatory sytem to reset itself.

What? How do you do that? What does it do? What do you mean?

quote:Originally posted by BOATS

Things are slow tonight so I thought I would post a new topic.  I also know anything that mentions sex on this site gets alot of reads/responces. Does anyone experience being touched sexually while in the sleep paralysis state?  Several times I have awoken and experienced being touched sexually after a woman has said hello.  I have read of people helping during exit or the Old Hag putting presure on a persons chest, even sex after exit but not sex during paralysis. I have however read of the fear of a sexual attack from someone who might be moving in the next room.  It would have been the last thing I would have expected to experience. I had an OBE in the RTZ and met a women in my living room.  I asked her if she is the one who touches me and she reported she is my cleaning lady and she does not touch me.  I met a physic who told me the woman was clearing my house not cleaning it.

i get it all the time, i had stopped it for a while, but thinking about it has started it up again (as has stress!)....

now frankly though, the paranoid part of me is like "is someone in my room doing this to me?" but when I wake up (not that I usually wake up, I usually end up LDing) no one is there.... but the rational part of me thinks it may be my sexual chakra.

I was going to make a thread about this today actually, thinking about it while at the store.

What I feel (i am male) is I feel soemthing going up my anus, it feels more like energy than anything physical..... now sometimes this feeling, it goes all the way up through it, out of my penis.... yes... it does.... it's VERY WEIRD..... I've had this before I really researched chakras I think... and I haven't been able to explain it.

I know the prostate is in the butt, so.... that could be something to do with it, but what I want to know, is this just chakra activity? I am not familiar with, nor do I understand, the sexual chakra... it seems to be shown over the genitals, but this feeling does not usually involve them, it usually just involves the before mentioned areas, and sometimes comes all the way out the other side.

It usually happens in sex dreams, there will be something behind me, and it will be fondling me back there, and i want it to actually give me a proper handjob up front, BUT IT CAN'T... it NEVER DOES... ever... any masturbation dreams, any sex dreams... my package.. it just.. doesn't have good feelings... I can't stimulate it.. I try to masturbate and I don't have lubrication, no matter what I do, it doesn't work (as if I were actually masturbating in real life while dreaming of it, hence the roughness and no pleasure problem)

I'm perplexed really.... my sex dreams aren't realistic, and they tend to gratuitiously involve people doing things to my backside, I don't think it means I'm gay, initially it was women.... but... it has been family members (and i never want this, aside from a cousin)... it has been my brother, and I wanted to kill him, I wanted to break out of paralysis and murder the hell out of him... but... sometimes I just have to give in... I can't do anything else... it's been my grandma, it's been my mom.... I think it's been my dad.....

If I get out of body it's well, it's whatever my imagination wants to make it, inititally it called itself Maynard and looked like Gollum, I always beat the hell out of it and told it never to come back, and it's stopped.... but... I have these insane sex dreams.... they have toned down but are starting up again, used to be I'd expect any girl to be a demon, and of course she'd turn into them.....

Recently I was staring inside her, about ready to commence getting it on, and I saw a bunch of "teeth" in there, like some sort of horribly evil venus fly trap... well... yeah... she's a demon, kill her... yeah... that almost happened again but I willed it not to, knew not to let my imagination get the best of me.

When I try to pull these things out of me in SP, I can't, I am tugging on something, and pulling and pulling and pulling it out, but it won't leave..... I don't get it.

Sometimes i have woken up and had odd sensations, as if gas, or something... I guess we can be gassy in our sleep.... I seem to get it in certain positions on my side and never while on my back.... um...

I don't know, I've talked to these things and gotten various subconsciously crafted answers, once I tried to psychoanalyze it about me in my anal stage of development as a child, it said weird stuff and turned into a deformed baby.... today it said it was my dad, represented my feelings of oppression and intrusion by my family (spying on me, or th at's how i perceive it anyway) but I mean I already more or less figured that.... then it said it was my dad and my mom, and looked like some fat weird as hell creature that was a combination of two people..

It's just so screwed up... I can't figure it out unless there is just something gastrointestinal going on while I sleep, or my sex chakra is hyper active, or hyper underactive.

The first thing to trigger it last night was a girl randomly running up to me and stabbing me up through my back end all the way out and up through my wang..... it felt like the energy feelings except more, knife shaped.... and well, needless to say I gave her repeated killings and limb hackings.. and yelled at her and told her to not do that again... but..

Someone has to have been through something like this? I dont' understand it at all.... save for the gas or sex chakra theories, I doubt it's an "incubus" i don't believe in those things, I'm not in the "astral" and they are so incoherent and easy to control and manipulate they just can't be real....

i think it goes without saying that we want to see the pictures.

Well the Pentagon considers climate change a bigger threat to national/world security than terrorism.

Which is funny since Bush has been trying to suppress those claims and says global warming isn't a big deal...

I find it disturbing that the report claims it may already be too late to prevent these things from happening, they sound like they could be potentially apocalyptic for parts of the world, and would likely spur war, perhaps of the nuclear variety.

http://observer.guardian.co.uk/international/story/0,6903,1153513,00.html

quote:Originally posted by jilola

Well, if it is a conspiracy on behalf of the US govt it's not directed toward other nations to increase their sympathy for the US cause in Iraq and/or Afganistan.
It's more likely the goal is to sway the domestic opinion about the justification of continued presence in said countries, especially after the prisoner abuse issue a hot topic. The thinking behind a alleged hoax would probably be to show what savage beasts these Iraqis are and thus seek understanding toward the 'necessity' of treating the prisoners in such a manner as they have been treated according to the images and recent court martials.

2cents & L&L
jouni

exactly...I have heard (hearsay....) that Rush Limbaugh supported our torture of Iraqis based upon seeing that video.

The world isn't stupid, America largely is, this propoganda (it is propoganda, but it may be "true") for us, to keep us at bay, to make us a bit more favorable of the government.... I mean, the general reaction of these photos is something akin to "those camel f*ckers, let's nuke them all! they deserved to get tortured"

And as I think the thing I posted pointed out, this happened right before Bush had to make his "tough" decision of whether or not to release more photos... now on the one hand, I want to see them all, I want to know how far this goes, but on the other I understand it'd make the world hate us that much more.

But on the positive spectrum it could mean people really get mad and REALLY want to change things.

So.... at any rate, Berg does look dead when they take his head off, I watched it, I just can't forsee how unless you were drugged out of your mind, dead, or unconscious, how you could hold that still while that is happening to you.. it goes against all animal instinct.

Now what we do know is that the government lied about detaining Berg, his parents have an email from them confiriming that he was in detention......

also correct me if I'm wrong, but didn't they lie about that al qaeda leader being the one to commit the execution (this seems obvious since he's wearing a gold ring though...) ? I can't remember what his name is so I'm having a hard time looking it up.. Al Z something.....?

We also know Rumsfield lied about not advocating these torture things, recent reports highlight "highly secretive" Pentagon operations that encouraged this sexual assault/humiliation stuff.... I'm not sure if that means Rummy himself actually knew about it, but you think he would.

This stuff has been going on since day one, suppressing the 9/11 panels findings, delaying the investigation for years, gagging FBI translator Sibel Ednmonds (i wish she'd just release the documents.... they prove the government lies, or so she claims)..... not having to be under oath while testifying to the comittee, not letting us know what he said to the comittee.

I mean, this is stuff you'd expect in a borderine dictatorship, and the people seem to legitimately not care.