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Go to the link, and make sure your sound is on.  Funny! []

http://www.rathergood.com/angel/

Last night I had a large number of dreams in sequence.  One of them, in particular, bears mentioning.  As if seeing it through someone else's eyes, I saw a giant snake (probably an anaconda) attack and swallow me.  In not sure if it was another person in the dream, or myself taking on a specific role, but as often happens in my dreams part of me was observing everything in a detached manner.  The dream character who's eyes I saw this through was pulled up into the snake, passing into its stomach.  Digestive juices started oozing out of the walls, and the person began shrieking in agony, occasionally shouting out "OH GOD! OH GOD!  NO STOP!"  After awhile they had been digested until there was little left but mush, although my own consciousness lingered.  

Although quite disturbing, I wasn't scared at all, although I did feel part of what was going on it didn't hurt, if anything I was detached during the whole grisly affair.  What I'm wondering is, is there any sort of meaning behind this dream?

(As a side note, fortunately something like this could not happen in real life.  You would suffocate long before the snake's stomach acids began to burn you.)

Last night I had quite possibly the most inspiring dream I have yet experienced.  I was traveling around the countryside near a mountain, and started flying around a bit, exploring the area.  Starting to take more control of the dream, I tried to rise higher into the sky, wanting to see how far I could go.  However, my fear was holding me back, I was worried about being up to high in case my powers failed.  However, a snowstorm had arrived, and I felt somehow protected by it.  My control and focus growing more accute, I felt as if something was changing in me.  I started flying up through the clouds, moving at an extremely fast pace, actually FEELING the mist of the clouds, the bite of the wind and the frozen ice.  I broke through the cloud tops, coming up near those thin cirrus clouds that usually float about near the stratosphere.  Although it was coldier up there, the light of the sun felt warm and invigorating.  I looked down, nearly two miles up in the air, and could see everywhere.  I know this doesn't sound like anything life-changing, but it felt absolutely incredible.  I felt as if I had become totally free, and had somehow come to embody the air.  Just for the heck of it, I spit, and followed it all the way down where it made a large splash in a river.  There was a very strong sense of having surpassed some sort of barrier in this dream, and it seemed VERY real.  It might not be a full projection, but it was still incredible nonetheless. []

The following is the first chapter of a fantasy book I have been getting ready to send out to agents.  I know this is rather long, but if possible I would greatly appreciate it if someone could help me critique it and give some suggestions.






Chapter 1: Carvings of a Goddess

   The morning light streaming through the barn window shone upon the specks of dust that drifted about lazily on weak air currents, slowly moving up and down between rafters and barn floor as though in a dance.  Some of it settled lightly on the windowsill beneath the silken web of a large spider that had made its home there the night before.  It also drifted down upon the wood shavings that littered the barn floor.  There were thousands of shavings there, some scattered about haphazardly while others were stacked in piles.  Every now and then a mouse would quietly scurry along, clearly annoyed that the wood shavings had settled on the path it normally took to get to its nest.  Some of the dust also settled on the face of Ikeda.

   Ikeda had spent the whole night out here in the barn, working on one of the greatest woodcarvings he had ever attempted.  He was sitting on a stool, the carving seated on another stool in front him.  The two foot tall block of wood he had brought in from the nearby woods had been gradually taking form over the past several hours.  It was a carving of the goddess Alma.  With every wood shaving that fell to the floor, the goddess's form became more discernable, the vision in his head taking form.  She was standing upright, dressed in a silk dress and holding a large lotus flower above her head, appealing to God to shower his blessings upon the world.  Ikeda was paying attention to every minute detail, as even the slightest mistake could foul up his work.  Alma was a wonderful deity, the goddess of love and mercy.  He prayed to her frequently, and wanted the carving to be as perfect as possible.  Also, if he was successful in perfecting it, he could sell his work for a decent number of genos at the shrine.

The curled wood shavings had been collecting around him all throughout the night, much of it on his feet and sandals as well.  Long hours of working at his own pace had lulled him into a calm, detached state of mind.  It was always a joy to him, to be able to let go of his mundane worries and explore the depths of his dreams, bringing a tiny piece of that undefined wonder from the magical place where beings like Alma dwelled back into the waking world.  However, as if to remind him to bring his thoughts back down to earth, Ikeda's tranquil focus was interrupted abruptly by the song of birds outside the window.

He looked up and blinked absently.  "What?  Did I work all night?"

When he got engrossed enough in this, his chosen craft, he could work for hours on end without realizing any time had passed at all.  It was a trait that had gotten him into trouble numerous times in the past.  The priests didn't appreciate lateness.

   Ikeda looked down at the wooden figure and let out a short sigh.  "I guess it's time to put you away for awhile."

   He stood, dust falling from his smooth blond hair.  He picked up the carving and carried it to a wooden box in the corner near several abandoned horse stalls.  Producing a key from his pocket, he opened the chest and set the carving of Alma inside, taking care not to damage it in any way, and covered the box with a woolen blanket hung from a nearby peg.  Finished, he strode over to the barn doors and pushed them open.  Ikeda squinted his eyes against the sudden flood of blinding light.  He removed the goggles that had been protecting his eyes from the dust, hung them on the handle of the barn doors and swung them shut.
 
After locking the doors and rattling the latch to make sure it was tight, he shaded his eyes with his right hand and looked up.  The weather today would be very hot; he couldn't find a single cloud in the parched blue sky.  A slight breeze was whistling along, rustling the tops of some nearby evergreens and producing a soothing sound as it weaved through the pine needles.
 
   The ground beneath Ikeda's feet was wet from the dew that had settled overnight.  He quietly cursed that he hadn't worn shoes instead of sandals.  He was always forgetting things like that.  Just like how he often lost track of the time.
 
The shrine Ikeda had lived in for as long as he could remember kept very strict rules about being on time, meeting deadlines and following rules in general.  Creation was beautiful, but it was also orderly, and divine blessing was not to be gained by the lazy or inattentive.  Their strict approach to things often conflicted with Ikeda's personality, as he tended to be relatively carefree.  Many of the priests had been utterly flabbergasted and enraged when they learned of Ikeda's budding interest in woodcarving, having expected him to make use of the blessing of being raised in the shrine by studying to become a scholar or priest.  Feeling trapped by it all, Ikeda had wanted to move out, but despite the differences between him and his elders he still couldn't pull himself away from the shrine.  It had been his home for so long, and although he longed to go out and explore the world he felt like something was holding him back.
 
He had started making money by working in the shrine library, and also got some payment from his woodcarvings.  In fact, he had accumulated enough money to take care of himself...somewhat at least.  He would be able to care for his basic needs, but would definitely not be living in luxury.  He would probably have to settle for one of the poor abodes on the outskirts of the city.  That might work for a time, but Ikeda wanted more, he wanted to explore the outside world, to find adventure outside the confines of his hometown.  For years he had felt a gnawing void in his heart, a need that beckoned to him whenever he read about the old legends or looked out over the countryside at night.   However, though he might wish for some unlikely adventure to come whisk him away, Ikeda was still smart enough to realize that he would need money to pursue the adventures that no doubt waited in the outside world.  Woodcarving wasn't a particularly wealthy profession, and far less profitable than the use of stone and metal.  Also, in a time when the lost wonders of the ancient days were being discovered once again, certain crafts, which had once been passed down for centuries, were slowly becoming obsolete.  The city officials were already planning to have factories built which had the potential to reduce crafts once revered for their artistic value into mere labor.  Still, it was an art he had grown to love, and he couldn't bear to tear himself away from it.
 
However, despite the money he'd earned, a shrine priest named Ogden Kerstoses who had cared for him throughout his childhood insisted that he would have to abide by shrine rules as long as he remained there.  Although he did not like having everything so structured, there was very little Ikeda could do about it.  Besides, he had always liked the spiritual atmosphere of the shrine.  It made him feel at peace with himself.  Furthermore, starting with their seventeenth name day, boys were required to spend three years of service in the military.  He would be turning seventeen in less than a month, but since he lived in the shrine Ikeda was exempt.  He might have wanted to be a warrior once, but not now.  The prospect of going off to die in an uncaring world that was not his own frightened Ikeda.  Being taken into the shrine was a sign of blessing, an indication that one had performed enough good deeds, rather in this life or a previous one, to be allowed to live in the house of God.  It was not something to be taken lightly.  Still, at times he felt odd about staying there, as though he was somehow out of place.
   
   Noticing the position of the sun, Ikeda sighed.  "Damn it, I'm so late, Ogden is going to have my hide when I get back..."

   Still mumbling to himself, Ikeda made for the pond that laid a short distance from the barn.  Dragonflies were darting over the water, and several frogs were sunning themselves on the rocks at the pond's edge.  Feeling the vibrations produced by his approach, the frogs jumped away and swam off through the reeds.  A group of waterfowl floated serenely in the distance, preening their feathers.  The sunlight danced upon the water's surface, bathing it in emerald radiance.
 
Ikeda bent down on one knee and splashed the clear water over his face, washing away dirt and grim.  The cool water felt good on his skin.  He ruffled his hands through his straight hair, shaking out a large amount of dust.  He stared down at his reflection, trying to see whether he had cleaned himself properly.  The reflection stared back at him, straight blond hair appearing to almost glow in the sunlight.
 
People were often amazed when they saw how incredibly bright and light colored Ikeda's hair was.  They often speculated that he was originally a foreigner, and had come from one of the frozen northern lands like Hatsus or Talu, since people from the southern kingdoms generally didn't have such light colored hair.  It was short in the back, and long in the front with a part down the middle.  It looked messy, as though it had been blown about by the wind.
 
Ikeda rubbed some of the dust from his arms.  Looking down, he realized that his white shirt and baggy brown pants were covered in shavings as well.  He brushed them off, grumbling in annoyance.  How ridiculous, he looked like an Amadethain beggar!
 
Finished cleaning himself, Ikeda watched several boatmen dart over the pond's surface for a short moment before he glanced upward, and noticed a reflection moving at the far side.

   His gaze continuing to rise, he saw a young man dressed in white combat pants with no shirt punching and kicking the air.  The fighter was six feet in height, half a foot taller than Ikeda.  Although still lean, he was a good deal more muscled than Ikeda, his shoulders broad and powerful.  His spiky black hair stuck out in seemingly every direction, and at the back of his head it was tied into a short ponytail.  Sweat covered his forehead and his muscular chest, running down hard pectoral muscles to his abdomen.  The fighter's name was Saro Rumiko.  Being eighteen years old he was enlisted in the army, and a junior trainee of the Pakken martial arts school.  In Alicia, the Pakken warriors were considered servants of the shrine and government.  They were viewed as warriors of the true God Hemonos, and had a significant presence in the military, valued for their skill and knowledge of battle tactics.  It was a tradition that went back hundreds of years.  Saro was presently held in reserve, training diligently until he was called upon to serve his country.

He was practicing combat forms.  He moved gracefully from stance to stance and technique to technique, focusing intensely on what he was doing.  He was moving very quickly, fists flying through the air with blinding speed.
 
   I'll bet I know why too... Ikeda thought, smiling inwardly.  "Hey Saro, how's your training going?"

   Saro had been right in the middle of a kick, and fell flat on his face in surprise.  A small dust cloud arose, and for a moment he just lay there.  With a groan, the young man raised his head and looked over in Ikeda's direction.
 
When he saw who had called out to him, Saro's face twisted in anger.  "Ikeda you stupid fool!  What do you think you're doing sneaking up on me like that?  Don't you know that interfering with a warrior's training is the same as asking for death?"

   Ikeda deliberately put on an innocent look and rubbed the back of his head.  "Sorry; I thought you knew I was here.  So, have you gotten any better?"

   Over the past couple weeks Saro had been training for the specific purpose of beating Ikeda.  Every summer the city held the Summer Competitions in honor of the time when Hemonos had lent his power and wisdom to the founders of the Way of Hemonos, allowing them to establish their influence throughout southern Thenos.  Youths eighteen and under from around the district participated in competitions of skill and strength.  Saro had entered the youth's sparring division for the past five years, and won it four times in a row.  This year, Ikeda had entered just for fun and despite the fact he had never had any prior martial arts training, he beat everyone, including Saro.
 
Saro had been unable to accept that someone as small and untrained as Ikeda had beaten him.  Ikeda had been rather surprised himself.  Many of the competitors had been much larger and stronger than him.  Although lean and in good shape, Ikeda was shorter and thinner than most. He could still remember his feelings of embarrassed disbelief when they announced him as champion.

   Saro rose and jabbed a finger at Ikeda.  "It's time for a rematch you coward.  This time your luck won't save you.  By the time were done you're going to know what dirt tastes like!"

   Ikeda put on a mocking smile.  Provoking Saro's anger was an amusing pastime.  "You're still sore about me beating you eh?  Sorry if I gave you a couple bruises, it's just that I sort of had to since you where my opponent.  But hey, it looks like you're getting better.  You were beating up the air pretty good there for a moment.  Don't worry, just a couple more years and you might beat me."

   Saro's eyes bulged with rage. "A-a couple years?  How dare you!  I'll show you what true skill is!"
 
   He charged around the side of the pond towards Ikeda, tearing through the undergrowth, birds and insects fleeing before him.  Ikeda stood his ground, not worried in the least.  When he reached Ikeda, Saro let out an aggressive yell and commenced his attack.  Ikeda calmly stepped to the side as Saro threw a punch at his chest.  He leaned to the other side when the second punch came at his head.  Saro was fast and powerful, and attacked with a barrage of multiple blows.  Ikeda reacted by dodging every one of them, his body moving as though it was the simplest thing in the world.  He didn't even need to try to dodge, whenever someone attacked him his body always responded this way without any conscious command.  It was eerie, he didn't know where it came from; it was almost like instinct for him.  Ikeda grabbed Saro's arm.  With another relaxed movement, he flipped the large fighter over his shoulder and into the pond.  Saro smacked the water on his back and created a huge splash that scared away the dragonflies and local waterfowl.
 
   Saro stayed under for a brief moment, and then raised his head and torso above the surface, spitting water out of his mouth and sputtering angrily.  He glared up at Ikeda, face covered in pond muck.
 
Ikeda returned to his pose of several seconds ago, his left hand rubbing the back of his head.  "Sorry, it's just that...well, I don't like getting hit."

#

   Several minutes later they were walking down a pathway that wrapped around several hills, heading back to the shrine.  Other sparse farms dotted the area.  Most of the people here grew either tobacco or wheat.  This year had seen just the right amount of rain and sun, and the farms in Alicia and the surrounding countryside were yielding a larger than average crop.  Farmers were saying that it was due to the large prayer ceremony the priests had held in the spring, asking for Hemonos and the other gods to bless them.

   The sun was rising high in the sky, its rays breathing color and life into the landscape.  The light felt good on Ikeda's skin, and he said silent prayer thanking Hemonos.  He was supposed to do that every morning, but had forgotten earlier.  The light was also evaporating the water off of Saro, making faint lines of steam rise from his body.  Saro had been red with embarrassment when Ikeda pulled him from the shallows.  He hadn't tried to strike Ikeda again, probably because he didn't want another headfirst trip into the pond.  Saro was presently picking bits of muck out of his sodden hair, which had now lost much of its spikiness since the oils he used to get it that way had been washed away.
 
   "I still can't figure it out," Saro murmured angrily.  "You've never had any actual training, never had any real contests other than this summers competition, you're even smaller and weaker than I am.  There's no way you should have been able to beat me or anyone else for that matter."

   Ikeda shrugged.  "It just comes naturally to me.  I see a punch coming at my noggin, and I do things without thinking about it.  I don't know why it happens.  It feels as natural to me as walking."

   "That level of skill is impossible without years of practice," Saro said, eyeing Ikeda suspiciously.  "Stop lying to me, there's no way anyone, much less you of all people, would be able to fight the way you do without any prior training!  Come on, when he have you been practicing?  What about all the time you spent in that barn last night?  You couldn't have been working on one of those carvings of yours the whole time."  He scowled.  "How come the priests let you use that old abandoned barn anyway?  Is it some plot of theirs to have you train in secret and embarrass those of us who haven't been pampered in the shrine?"

   "No," Ikeda replied, feeling rather irritated.  "I really did spend the whole night working on a carving.   Ogden is letting me borrow the place so I can learn responsibility."

   Saro shook his head and went back to picking goop out of his hair.  Saro had asked him the same questions numerous times in the past, and Ikeda had always given the same answers.  Besides, seeing Saro get so mad over it was rather funny.
 
The other citizens of Alicia had also been shocked when Ikeda beat Saro.  The very next day a group of young boys of the Pakken and Soulong schools had come to challenge Ikeda to see if he was for real.  They had happened upon him while he was fishing over a bridge.  At first Ikeda had been confused as to what they seemed so excited about, until one of them punched at his head.  He ran away, but beat up quite a few of them in the process, particularly one who had tried to claim he was using magic to win.  Except for the holy magic possessed by some of the priests, channeling power and wisdom from the other side was forbidden, and a very serious accusation.

   The Lavonese Mountains to the west were still obscured by mist.  The sunlight looked very beautiful as it came through the vapor, breaking up into countless rays and hues.  The rays also shined down upon the city they were steadily approaching.  
Alicia was one of the most important cities in the kingdom of Scathania, and its rich officials ruled over a wide area.  It was large for a city, stretching from a broad valley at the base of the mountains in the west to trading posts in the woods to the east.  Several major trading routes ran out of Alicia, heading towards other cities of Scathania and the border with Serthose to the east.  The houses, farms and small businesses formed a ring around the walled inner-city that was home to the rich and the most important buildings.  The large castle where the governor lived was seven stories tall, noticeable even from where Ikeda and Saro stood.  Governor Oron Mortell had a fancy for large things, and had continually added new sections onto the castle ever since his appointment to office twenty years ago.  The castle was crafted in the old style from when the Scathania had been ruled by local lords.  Its battlements and parapets were weathered and ancient, towers a dark contrast against the light of the sun.
 
   Even more noticeable than the governor's castle was the shrine of Alicia.  It was thirty stories tall, with an estate that covered a square mile.  The shrine had been erected two hundred fifty years ago and dedicated to the Hemonos religion.  It had been a home for priests and servants of the religion for as long as it had stood.  Martial artists, soldiers and generals had trained there for many years as well.  It was a center of knowledge and intrigue.  Within the last hundred years the shrine had started taking in orphans.  Ikeda was just one of the several hundred orphans who lived there.

From his position the shrine looked like some sort of tower out of a dream, rising up into the heavens as though to reach up to Hemonos himself.  The rays of the sun drifted over the shrine like the gentle caressing hands of a heavenly mother.  Colored glass domes reflected the sun like a mirror, sending a wide spectrum of colors out over the countryside.  The shrine had a commanding presence, its high-arched windows like eyes carefully watching the outside world.  It was Hemonos's power and authority manifested in the mortal realm.  Rumors held that miracles had been used in its construction.  Ikeda could almost feel the energy that radiated from the shrine; it always left him in awe.
 
   He glanced down at his sandals with a frown.  Right now Ogden was probably having a fit.  Last time he was late the old priest had made him stand out in the rain holding a twenty-pound vase above his head for a half hour.  He would have to explain that he was late because he had been working on a carving, if he was lucky Ogden wouldn't punish him.
 
   As they entered the outer city they began to see more signs of life.  People were already going about their business, selling their wares at the shops and stands.  Children were playing on the store-lined streets, chasing each other and laughing.  Most of the houses in this area were relatively poor.  Some roofs had holes and many of the windows were either nonexistent or badly cracked.  Most of the residents still used horses and mules for transportation.  The roads were muddy and the alleyways smelled of rats and refuse.  Saro had to dodge when a woman dumped her garbage out a window.  The two had a loud shouting match which attracted several spectators before Ikeda finally pulled Saro away.
 
   The buildings grew more elaborate the further they went, dirty roads giving way to cobblestone streets.  Unlike the poorer residences, most of these houses were several stories and very beautiful.  They were owned mainly by rich merchants and families of some importance.  Unlike the poorer class, many people here owned carriages pulled by well-breed horses.  Some even owned steam powered carriages imported from the distant land of Ursa.  They were ponderously slow, and prone to breaking down, but so amazing and pricey that the rich couldn't resist purchasing them.  Over the years, more advanced technology had been making inroads into Scathania and other countries throughout the south of Thenos.  Although many people feared the new discoveries, others were filled with great zeal, as it heralded the prophesied age when the wonders of the ancient days would be returned to mankind through Hemonos's blessing.

Besides steam-powered carriages, many of the richer individuals also had access to running water and internal heating fed by steam furnaces.  Steam power had been introduced to the Scathania only three years ago, and its effects were already being seen.  However, it was rumored that the new technology might make some ancient crafts decline in usefulness.  Because of this, the introduction of steam power had met with vehement opposition from the various guilds.  Ikeda was worried about how the changes might affect his prospects a woodcarver.  It seemed his dreams of independence and discovery were becoming more uncertain every day.

Still, much of the new technology was useful.  Ikeda could still remember the wonder he had felt when the shrine priests first "turned on" the water several years ago.  He also remembered how mad they had been at him when he messed up one of the faucets by turning it on and off over and over again to try and figure out how it worked.  He had been even more impressed when he was told that running water and heating systems were quite miniscule compared to the other wonders that had been discovered in Zeltinia and its neighboring countries over the past two hundred years.  He had heard stories of ships that flew through the air, and magic sticks that shot flames.  It was often joked that every new invention and wonder came from Zeltinia.  Many called it the land of science.  He had often dreamed of visiting Zeltinia, of seeing the wondrous lands across the ocean.
 
   The street Ikeda and Saro were on eventually came to the sixty foot stonewall that circled the inner city.  Several guards armed with swords were posted at the gates, and others patrolled the parapets.  Over the past weeks groups of soldiers from the country of Amadeth in the west had been raiding distant towns, and as a result the security had been sharply increased.  Amadeth was a nation of great industry.  They had been experimenting with steam power long before Scathania.  Along with their industrial exploits, they had also developed a powerful army.  Scathania and Amadeth had been enemies for the past fifty years.  As a result of the new manufactured weapons Amadeth was developing, it had been necessary for the Scathanian military to rethink their strategy over the years.  City walls were becoming less useful, and more advanced catapults and siege machines utilizing steam power had been developed.

   Ikeda and Saro passed through the gates.  The inner circle contained mansions, governmental offices and estates along with the shrine and governor's castle.  The grounds were cared for meticulously.  It was the most beautiful section of the city.  Many of the estates had sprawling gardens, hedge mazes and ponds.  Despite its beauty though, at times Ikeda felt odd here, as though he didn't belong.  He was, after all, just a poor orphan.  He was very fortunate to have been allowed to live in the shrine.

   As Ikeda and Saro passed by the gardens, the servants working there yelled out greetings to them.  Ikeda smiled and waved to several girls tending to a grove of trees.  Both of them were well liked by the people here, particularly Saro.  The young fighter glanced to the right at the sound of wood hitting wood.  A group of Pakken trainees were practicing on a wooden training platform under a grove of aspens.  Some were practicing bare-handed fighting, while others sparred with wooden swords.  A muscular senior student with short brown hair, and a thin old man dressed in a white, girdled robe were watching the others.  The senior student was the well-known fighter Ralnas Granobe, and the old man was Xio Wang, the Pakken grandmaster.  Ralnas glanced casually at Ikeda, then turned back to watching the trainees.
 
   "Well, its time for me to join them," Saro said, smiling haughtily.  His voice descended into a whisper that dripped with thinly veiled hostility.  "You should join us someday Ikeda.  I'm not one of the better fighters among them.  They would put you in your place.  Why, my master could gut you like a pig if he so wished.  Perhaps then you'll learn...hey, are you listening to me?"

   Ikeda turned away from watching a group of servant girls tending a flowerbed and shrugged.  "Yeah, your master likes to gut pigs.  So?"
   
   Saro's right eye twitched.  "Lazy untrained shrine brat..." he muttered as he turned to walk away.

   Saro approached the training platform.  A couple of servant girls who had been watching the trainees turned their attention upon him.  A look of genuine fear came to Saro's face when they spotted them, and he tried to walk around to the other side of the training platform.  The girls followed Saro persistently, calling out to him.  Saro tried to walk faster, but they eventually caught up with him.
 
   "Excuse me ladies, but I really need to get up there," he said awkwardly.

   "Oh Saro, why would you want to be with them when you can spend time with us?" one of the girls cooed.

   They crowded around Saro, not giving him any chance to escape.  Face flushed, he turned, tripped and fell to the ground.  Some of the people on the platform were laughing.  Ralnas shook his head, a wide grin on his face.  Even Xio looked like he was chuckling mildly.

   Ikeda turned away, laughing to himself.  He can't even fend off his own admirers, much less me.
 
   The area right outside the shrine was covered with rose bushes.  A refreshing scent hung upon the air.  Ikeda strode through a small pathway that led through the bushes to a concealed doorway on the side of a stone tower covered with ivy.  He grabbed the handle and opened it slowly, hoping Ogden wouldn't be there waiting for him.  As he peeked around the side of the door a waft of cool air greeted his face.  The architecture of the shrine was designed to keep the interior cool during Scathania's hot summer months.  
Ikeda sidled through the doorway and closed it as quietly as he could.  He waited a moment for his eyes to adjust to the dim light, and then started down the hallway.
 
To his right and left loomed ominous statues of mythical creatures.  Ikeda could hear the faint sound of religious chanting drifting down the corridor.  At this time of the day priests and laymen would be kneeling in front of the thirty-foot statue of Hemonos in the central chapel.  The immense dome ceiling echoed and amplified any sound made beneath it.

   It was fortunate that he was only late for breakfast and not the evening session, as that was when the orphans and other denizens of the shrine were expected to worship along with the priests.  Ogden really would have had his hide then.
 
   Ikeda reached the end of the dark hallway and peeked around the corner into the chapel.  Before him rose the statue of Hemonos.  It was clad in golden armor that shone in the light pouring in through colored glass windows.  Eight wings, four for each side, sprouted from Hemonos's back.  The wings were studded with gems, and got bigger as they went from top to bottom.  The lowest wings were only five feet in length, while the highest ones stretched out forty feet in both directions.  Although not noticeable to the people worshipping in front of the statue, from his position Ikeda could make out the thick wire cables used to support the colossal wings.  Without those cables the wings would probably break off from the statue and come crashing down.

   Hemonos's huge, muscular arms were crossed in front of his chest.  The hands looked like a cross between human hands and cat paws.  Giant claws sprang forth from the fingertips.  One of the clawed hands held a forty-foot staff.  At its apex was a large red ruby.

   Perhaps the most riveting part of the statue was the head.  In the center was a normal human face, and circling around it were smaller faces.  Each face looked like a different animal.  One was a lion, another a wolf, a couple others unidentifiable monsters.  Ikeda had been taught that each face represented different manifestations of Hemonos's powers and thoughts, as well as different ways in which his divine rule manifested itself in the mortal plane.  A crown studded with gold and red rubies circled the forehead.  A long mane of white hair made from various alloys fell over the statue's back down to the waist.

   A crowd of worshippers were kneeling before the statue, performing their daily worship.  The lesser priests were the farthest from the statue and dressed in simple gray robes.  In the middle were the middle-level priests, dressed in yellow robes with a gold sash around their waists.  In the front were the high priests, dressed in very elaborate white robes decorated with intricate figures and jewelry.  Some of them held ornate wooden staffs which bore the icon of Hemonos at their apex.  The foremost among them, a wizened old man named Josephes Ultrel, held a staff which was slightly bigger than those of his comrades and gilded in gold, designating him as the highest ranked priest in the shrine.

   Behind the priests were various nobles, officials and merchants.  At the far end of the chapel were the poorer members of the community.  Some of them were clothed in mere rags, probably the poor people who lived in the huts at the city's edge.

   Ikeda watched the hundreds of worshippers for a brief moment, and then creep behind the statue.  He tiptoed to the other side and peeked out again to see if anyone had noticed him.  No one looked in his direction; all of their attention was focused on the statue.  Oddly enough, he felt as though someone up there was watching him.  Dismissing it, Ikeda made for a cluster of broad pillars at the far wall.  He stayed in the shadows, slipping from one pillar to the next until he reached the corridor that led to the dining hall.

   The passage was lit with oil lamps.  They cast a yellowish haze that illuminated the tapestries decorating the walls.  As he walked by, Ikeda stopped and glanced at one tapestry that always caught his eye whenever he went through this part of the shrine.  It depicted the gods Hemonos, Alma and Youros.  They were on top of a mountain, sending down a divine light towards the people below them.  The light settled on what looked like elegant men and women, priests and rulers.
 
Below the people receiving the divine blessings were those who did not.  They were being tortured and eaten alive by the Virtogeist, beings of the underworld.  The divine light stopped just short of them as if they were some sort of plague.  At the bottom of the tapestry were words woven into the fabric.

   Hemonos and his children reward those who obey them and work hard in this life, and punish those who do not.  For the righteous ones awaits divine blessing and prosperity.  When Kaetsu comes, the time of blessing shall favor them.  For those who disobey the commands of the almighty Hemonos there is only suffering.  They shall be lower than the beasts of the field.  They shall be the lowly ones, without roof or sustenance.  They shall suffer in this world and the next.  The arrival of Kaetsu shall bring their shame to the fore.  Only by obeying Hemonos may their souls find happiness, and be pulled from the pits of the abyss.

   Ikeda always felt a chill pass over him whenever he looked at this particular tapestry.  The fact one of the lowly ones looked like him didn't help, to say the least.  That particular lowly one was on a rack and having his entrails slowly ripped out by several hooks that a wolf-like being had attached to his stomach.
 
   Ikeda turned away from the tapestry and looked up at the ceiling as childhood memories washed over him.  He could remember the nightmares he used to have about these tapestries when he was just a child.  One night he had a nightmare that he laid injured in a gutter, his flesh being eaten alive by rats sent from the underworld, unable to do anything except lay there shrieking in agony.  The divine light had passed over him, and it was his fate to suffer.    One another occasion he awoke screaming that the creatures of hell were chewing on his toes.  Ikeda had lost control of his temper when the other boys laughed over him, knocking one out cold.

   The more Ikeda thought about it over the years, the more those dreams haunted him.  After all, outside of his home in the shrine he would be poor, and unable to pursue the dreams and adventures which had always called to him.  There were other professions he could do besides woodcarving, but there was little else he would be good at, little else he would enjoy.
 
Without the shrine would he be...a lowly one?  He believed that Hemonos had blessed him by letting him live there, freeing him from the horrors of poverty and dieing on the battlefield.  But would that blessing last when he moved out into the world?

   Depressed, Ikeda skulked over to a small window.  He wasn't supposed to feel like this, it wasn't proper, the shrine was supposed to lift his spirits.  What a silly child he was.  The sun was drawing closer to the center of sky and more people were walking through the lawns below.  He saw several dressed in rags heading towards the entrance to the main hall.  They were probably poor farmers who had moved into the city over the past decade, chasing after dreams of a better life.

"The lowly ones," a priest had once called them.
 
Ikeda watched them pass by and muttered under his breath, "Is it really fair?"

The Zetas will not land.

The poles will not suddenly shift and plung us into an ice age.

Satan will not be released from hell.

Crazed bigfoots will not run out of the forest.

Any other premonitions?

Sometimes when I'm in a state of calm awareness, I experiment with telling myself phrases such as "There is no God.  There is no soul.  There is no me."

For some reason, whenever I do this I get a sense of deep and compelling peace.  One time, in thinking about a girl who had grown up without a good father, I tried to break out of 'her and him' pattern of thinking and got a sudden feeling of love that left me quite amazed.

Why is this?  Is it because I'm making slight breaks with dualistic thinking?

Today when I was at work, I was quite low on energy, and decided to try breathing in energy from the air around me.  Since I work in an hospital and move around alot, there are many different places I work throughout the day.  Using a technique I learned from a book, I tried breathing in the fire energy focused around a sunny patch on the floor.  The fiery energy was quite refreshing, which caught my interest.  Continuing with the exercise, I tried breathing in energy from other various parts of the hospital.  I detected a lot of air energy in an open and drafty hallway, and breathed that in.  I found areas which were drier and filled with earth energy.  Throughout the day, I continued experimenting with the elements in different areas of the hospital, noticing how the energy was fresh in some areas, stagnant in others, and trying out many different combinations of elements.  Due to the wide distribution, there were many different types of energy to investigate.  I know this sounds silly, but it actually tasted quite good. [] I felt like I was at a metaphysical banquet, trying out the various ordirves. [] Anyway, has anyone else tried this?  Have you noticed how energy seems to have different qualities and attributes depending on where you are?

Please continue discussion on Michael here so that it does not clutter the other thread.

Anyway, I noticed many people expressing concern that Michael might be an entity who is stealing energy from SD due to mentions SD made on being drained after a mediation.  There is something I thought I might add about this.  It comes from the Franz Bardon Home Page.  Franz Bardon is the man who wrote Initiation into Hermetics.  The site was written by one of his students who has talked to a number of spirits, including the archangel Gabriel.  Here is a short quote from that site.

http://lava.net/~pagios/gabriel.html

quote:But the Bible goes on in the prophet's words,  "And I, Daniel,
fainted, and was sick certain days; afterward I rose up, and did the
king's business;  and I was astonished at the vision, but none
understood it."  The point I wish to make is that Daniel was
exhausted from his encounter with Gabriel.  The presence of angels
such as Gabriel exert a great psychic force.  In interacting with
them, you are taken up out of history so that you look down upon
the affairs of men from the perspective of eternity.  
  This is a gigantic leap and a full blown encounter with one of
these beings can injure your nervous system in addition to leaving
you exhausted for many days.  The vision Gabriel interpreted for
Daniel spoke of the fate not only of the present but of future
nations.  Imagine having a contact like this at the beginning of our
century when the car and airplane were just being invented.  
   You would see the horrors of World War I and the millions upon
millions killed in World War II.  You would see the weapons they
used, entire cities obliterated, and the advent of weapons of mass
destruction.   To say the least, the visions themselves could be
enough to cause emotional shock not to mention the tension
produced from entering into this heightened state of perception.
  As I have outlined elsewhere, it is advisable, then, to work through
some basic training before jumping into the global and world
historical perspective of Gabriel's vision.  In the hermetic tradition,
this is summarized first in terms of becoming acquainted with the
four elements.  The air element allows you to relax completely and
open your mind so it is enlightened free of all attachment and as
clear as the sky.

In case anyone is interested, here's one method I found which seems to work well.

One day I was driving out on a dark country road at night.  Similar to an experince from two months earlier, I started feeling my fear increase, and felt as though my fear was somehow melding with the atmosphere of the area.  I wasn't sure if it was just the look of the countryside at night or an actual neg trying to influence me, but nevertheless I started doing the Middle Pillar Ritual to dispell the effects.  I worked quite well, I felt as if I was much more cleansed afterward, along with a greater presence that pushed away the fear.  Here's the exercise, taken from this site:

http://www.livingwithmagick.com/MPR.html

Step 1. Focus your attention just above the crown of your head. Visualize a sphere of brilliant white at this point. Vibrate the God name EH-HEH-YEH three times.

Step 2. Now visualize a slender beam of light descending from this sphere through the center of your head, and stopping at the hollow of your throat. Here visualize a ball of lavender light. You should visualize both the brilliant sphere above your head , the small ball of light at the base of your neck, and the beam of light connecting the two. Vibrate the God name, YOD-HEH-VAHV-HEH EL-OH-HEEM, three times.

Step 3. While continuing to visualize these, see a beam of light descend from the ball of lavender at your throat, go down thru the center of your body, and form a gold sphere at your solar plexus. Vibrate the God name YOD-HEH-VAV-HEH EL-OH-AH V'DAH-AHT three times.

Step 4. In like manner, visualize the beam of light descending to the area of the genitals and form a violet sphere. Vibrate the God name SHAH-DAI EL CHAI three times.

Step 5. Descend the light to the feet, here forming a black sphere. Vibrate the God name AH-DOH-NYE HA-AHR-ETZ.

Lately my dreams have become much more vivid and interesting.  I'm not sure if this is due to my trying to become more conscious in the physical, or for other reasons.  Although I have yet to realize I'm dreaming in many of them, they're still so interesting that I decided I shouldn't keep them to myself.

Some of these are very disjointed, but I'll write it down anyway.

My first dream from last night seemed to be set in an almost video-game like world.  A series of robots had gone haywire and were attacking the populace.  At one point I was running away from them, shocking first-person style (and, as usually happens in these sorts of games, getting my butt kicked. [xx(])  After a certain point the world changed and became more real-time.  There was a old woman, a former criminal, in charge of taking out the entities.  She had three helpers, her slightly deformed son, some brute I can't identify, and weak ole me (I tend to take a weak role in my dreams for some reason).  At one point, the person employing the old woman commanded her to kill her son.  However, she refused, and was shouting something through the window of a crashed jet (her home I believe_ when a bunch of entities rushed into the cockpit and attacked her.  She was badly injured, but me and the henchmen defeated the entities.  However, at that moment her deformed son turned on her.  He knew about her employers plan to kill him, and it had all been a trick to get information from the woman.  After kicking his mother a bit, he rolled her over a metal grating.  A stream of water was coming down through a hole from nearby.  For some reason, this woman had an afinity for fire, it was what had allowed her to survive for so long. However, she was weak to water.  The deformed son brought his arm into the water stream and redirected it onto his mother.  She started steaming somke and screaming in pain, it was as if the water was burning her.  After interrogating her, me and the henchmen had to rush outside into our car.  I was looking for some method of betraying them by this point.  The dream was also becoming more vivid.  I closed and locked some of the doors from our other car, and then was rushed into the other one by my two evil comrades.  We drove down the roads of the ruined city, and then turned down some country roads.  There were other cars coming in the opposite direction, and I felt like I remembered this place for some reason.  We went past a barn that had been badly damanged, and drove over several peices of wood in the road.  I distinctly felt the bump of the car when we drove over them.  At this point I must have done something to betray them, as we came to a side road with VERY deep ravines on each side.  This might have come from my waking memories, as I HATE roads that have ravines beside them.  The deformed henchmen messed up and the car spun out of control, almost falling into the ravine.

At this point I woke up, and descended into another series of dreams.  One I cannot remember very well.  I seemed to be staying with several people on the tall grassy bank of some pond. I still felt that distinct sense of taking a passive role that seems to be present in so many of my dreams.  After that I found myself in bed, and was attacked by what I'm guessing was an escaped inmate who was trying to rape me.  After fighting him off, I woke up again, and descended into the final series of dreams.

There was a forest, clear as day.  I was traveling through it, and somehow found myself in a racing contest with other people on a long, rapid river.  At one point I came near a large, forboding brick school set on an island in the middle of the river.  The area was very forested, with trees blocking out the brunt of the sunlight.  I stopped on the island for some reason, and was getting ready to leave with the other people.  At this point there was another gap in my memories, although I do remember snippets of running up through a vast stone building that was dim and had a sinister, unknown feel to it.  This building is gigantic, and often plays some sort of role in my dreams.  

After that I was out in the forest again, pursueing what I'm guessing was a girl or young boy taking the form of a flying squirrel.  I chased them out of the forest, flying over an area of plains.  We passed over a series of gigantic trees, each of them with two levels of flat canopies you could stand on, and within those a maze of branches and smaller trees.  I chassed the flying squirrel out to an area that was more open, and talked to him for a while on top of a smaller canopy.  Although I'm not quite certain, I might have been in the form of an owl at this point.  After that I followed him back to his house in the forest, landing on a glass platform set on top of a mid-level forest canopy.  I feel as if I had done something very kind and significant for this squirrel.  After that point I was heading back towards my own house that I was staying at.  It was a large, complex structure, set around a tall tree that was a wide maze of branches, and composed of wood, marble and stone.  After this point of my dreams were spent without me having a tangible presence, but merely observing what was happening.  I saw an attractive woman with shoulder-length black hair and very tanned skin enraged and saddened over something that had happened.  She knocked a bag of magic crystals off a table and s[iled them onto the floor.  Then leaning over, she found that if she shifted the crystals position with her hand, it formed the images of people (what I'm guessing was her family).  She was very touched by this.  At that point I arrived, coming up through the bottom of the structure.  I started exploring a series of rooms going deep into the place.  Somehow water had leaked into the home, and I felt as if there was some sinister presence within.  I moved through a series of rooms that had people's belongings strewn about as if by some earthquake.  The hallways were a calm white, yet had stains on them as if some foul presence had passed through them.  I explored a small boiler room, certain I would find something in it, only to find an empty room, and with the distinct sense that something was fleeing from me out through the ventilation pipes.  After a moment of rest with some of the kids I found in the rooms, I found myself watching intangibly events taking place on one of the upper canopy platforms.  

It was night out, and a group of men (possibly connected to the foul presence from earlier) had caught a young girl dressed in attractive clothing.  Although the girl was scared, she showed amazing resilence as they strapped her to a tree and started attacking her with some sort of magic, torturing the girl.  After that they started whipping her badly, gradually tearing off her clothing.  They cut the soles of her feet, and then hung her by the hands from some sort of contraption that was moving on a metal path along the perimeter of the upper canopy.  They continued to whip her until all her clothes had been torn off and she was bleeding profusely (this was not the least bit erotic I might add, I was very frightened at the time).  With that they left, having only gained part of what they wanted to know.  I flew into a hallway in the upper parts of the tree, and found a series of curtains that had been gathered together to conceal something.  The room had a faint yellow glow.  I pulled back the curtains, and found the girl hanging from the ceiling by her hands.  She was still badly hurt, but showed amazing resilience.  She explained to me what the men had been after, and I started to fly out into the forest to find them, quite angry by this point.

Unfortunately, I woke up.  Is there any sort of message behind all the seemingly nonsensical events of these dreams that anyone else can figure out?  Keep in mind that there were large chunks I wasn't able to remember.

A couple days ago I was leaving a friends house when, for seemingly no reason, I felt like driving out into the country.  I do this every now and then to collect my thoughts, but that night I felt strangely driven towards it for some reason.  After traveling northward for a couple minutes, I turned down a deserted country road, moving out into an isolated area.  At that moment I was thinking about horror, and how I might bring it out in my writing.  However, I began feeling as if I was somehow being drawn towards the essence behind my thoughts.  As I drew near a bridge, I felt a change come over me and the surrounding area.  It was pitch black outside, and my headlights were shining out over the road, illuminating several road signs and trees.  What happened is very difficult to describe in words.  Somehow, the way in which my headlights were shining out over the darkness changed.  In one respect it looked the same, and yet it was as if there was something behind it.  I felt myself being drawn forward.  My thoughts seemed to be pulled along with it.  At that moment I experienced a sense of fear, but it was different, it was as if I was the fear, was the changing atmosphere outside my car.

By this point I was wondering whether or not I was simply imagining things, or if the dark road was simply creeping me out.  This was a different type of fear though.  Somehow part of me wanted to participate in its increase.  As I continued down the road, I noticed that it almost felt as if I was travelling down some gaping tunnel, the illumination of my headlights giving form to a nebolous world in the state of decay.  As I turned down another road, I continued letting my thoughts come as they would.  What happened next was quite strange, although I only imagined the scene it felt like my thoughts were being guided.  I imagined a man crawling out of the ditch beside the road and walk in front of my car.  His eyes were completely blue, his teeth razor sharp and stained with blood.  My car hit him, and at that moment I thought "Yes, this is evil."

My imagination had been partly following my attempts to formulate the actions of a villian in my writing.  However, when I saw him in front of my car, headlights illuminating his smile, it was as if my desire had been displaced to two places at once.  Driving back home, I felt very strange, one could claim I simply imagined it but it did NOT feel normal.

The next day me and Spectral Dragon drove out towards that area again at night to investigate.  As I drew closer to the same location, he mentioned that something did feel different.  I noticed the same effects as well as we drew closer, feeling as if I was merging with my fear of the road and desiring it in a strange way.  SD said that he felt some sort of presence further down, and instead of turning like I had the previous night I continued forward. This time the feeling drastically increased. I don't know quite how to describe this.  A cold sensation spread through my body.  My body seemed to meld with it, and I felt like I was rotting. The area behind my eyes started to hurt and I experienced a strange urge, a predatorial urge to feed.  I wanted to seek people out and feed upon them.

I was letting the presence effect me so that we could understand it.  I suggested letting my thoughts be givin voice as they came, and SD agreed.  I don't remember exactly what I said, but here's part it:

We love form.  We are form.  Form defines us, and we seek it.  The form mutliplies, it keeps multiplying all the time.  But it goes away and we have to go along with it.  We like form, we must eat it!  We must eat the form and bring it through us and we cling to it as it rots.  We go on and on and we eat the rot, we EAT IT EAT IT!

Now I know this probably seems ridicolous reading it on a message board, but hearing it is something very different.  But this point me and SD were quite terrified.  I was scared of what I was saying, but it felt like the words were growing within me and part of myself liked it.  My voice started rising in volume and sounded obsessive.

SD told me that he had perceived there being some sort of program in that area, probably a magic servitor or thought form that wandered there.  Supposadly I have a residue left over from some hellish experience in a former life, and it was feeding on that.  The next day we banished it, and the strange feeling was gone.

It gave me some more interesting insights into a subject I've been thinking about lately, the true nature of evil.  Now, I don't think there's any such thing as intristic good or evil, but nevertheless there was a certain essence behind what happened that helped me in my understanding of actions that create this polarity.

Basically, we are defined by our form and its boundaries.  We have a body that is separate other forms and thoughts and experiences that are particular to our own self.  However, to maintain this form we must consume other forms, so that we may be able to maintain ourselves.  We love our form, and love the very act of existing.  However, existance is not static, and in order to fight against the deterioration of one form we must destroy other forms.  A mother fox must kill other animals in order feed its young.  Even a kind human mother may develop irrational hatred towards others whom she feels threatens her young.  A religionist defines his reality and sense of self through his idea of God, and envisions a bright future where the form of him and his loved ones will be maintianed.  Because we are defined by the form of others, we seek validation for our existance through those forms.  An interesting paradox can be seen in how a fundamentalist may indeed have great love for his family, and yet express rabid hatred towards that which threatens the defiitions which define his perception of reality.  Fearing the inevitable deterioration that arises from conflicting boundaries, we seek to preserve the form that defines us, our body and those that influence us.  And yet, in order to maintain that which is changing, more form must be taken in.  By feeding upon it, we ensure our own existance.

During my strange encounter with the presence in the country, and dreams I have had about hell, I have felt a distinct sense of matter and form being multiplied somehow.  It reminds me of the idea that hell is that which inhabits a lesser vibration and greater density.  Its as if I'm spreading through it, the fear of the unknown causing a finite form to impose itself upon its surroundings, drawing pleasure from absorbing and subdugating wearker forms.  Lately, I've been asking myself the question, what is evil exactly?  What is good?  What is suffering?  What is pain?  What is power?  We experience these things all the time, and yet we don't really understand what they are.  If I cut my thumb, I feel physical pain and a sense of fear.  But what are those sensations really?  What defines them?  However, I think I have gained some small understanding of the answer.  Cutting my finger damages the illusion that is my body, and I insticivelly fear being separated from that illusion.  The essence behind a person rapeing an innocent and one who drives pleasure from killing and eating things is similar, both are seeking to preserve their form, both are seeking to validate their form by asserting it over others.  Spreading the rot so it wont die out if you will.

As one begins to die to their sense of self and spreads their love outward, though they may draw closer to the absolute they also realize the love of the infinite within the finite.  Thus, life still be cherished and preserved.  So existance perpetuates itself, the aspect of creation that is the rot remaining illusionary and seeking to devour itself.  Thus, existance continues, and the potential for evil will always exist on some level.    

Although I'm getting better at getting myself into a trance state, whenever I try to project I experience various problems. [] Generally, these problems involve my eyelids flickering.  At times I'll think I'm beginnning to see into the astral, and then realize that its just my eyes opening, at which point I have to close them and it messes up my concentration.  Other times my astral body will being to loosen (such as when I'm doing techniques like rope, heart visualization, and the LaRaS mantra), but my physical body will begin to move as well.  Generally this involves my chest inflating and arching upward.  Is there any way to avoid this?  Do I simply need to keep training?

In addition to trying to astral project, I recently started going to a gym.  What I'm wondering is if physical training like weight lifting might hinder my attempts to OBE.  Would it create added tension in the muscles that would hinder relaxation?  Has anyone noticed any problems in this?

I asked my guide about this once and she mentioned something very similar.  She told me that there aren't so much "eternal" lover soulmates are there are souls that are very, very close together, and have loved each other over many incarnations.  In that sense, she is one of my soulmates, and other friends I have now or may have in the future may be other soulmates.

She also added that, quite frankly, some people who say they have not found true love because they can't find their soulmate are trying to make up excuses for their own immaturity and selfishness in regard to romantic relationships.  Even if you find a romantic partner who is a soulmate in the sense mentioned above, it does not prevent the possibility of the relationship ending in a breakup or divorce, and this does indeed sometimes happen.  (Not refering to anyone here, this is just what she told me).

I have been told by several people that my soul is that of an owl totem, and I have actually experienced this several times in my dreams.  My guide oftentimes takes the form of an owl as well.

What you mentioned about the moon is interesting, as ever since I started training myself I have felt a strange kinship with it.

There's an article here on Susan Blackmore's parasychology research "results" that I found interesting.

http://www.skepticalinvestigations.org/anomalistics/skeptic_research.htm

Don't let the name of the website fool you, its the openminded brand of skepticism they promote.

Generally the query letter comes first, then the outline, then the manuscript.  Also, make sure that your manuscript and other material has the exact specifications.  Agents want Courier New, 12 pt font, double spaced, a headline on the upper right side displaying book name/page number/author name.  

There are some other good websites you can go to for information as well.  Try www.writers.net.

Getting a book on how to submit to agents/publishers helps as well.  One that I've used is "Formatting and Submitting your Manuscript".

Try to paperclip each chapter together.

If you're interested in the gods and goddesses which modern Goetic "demons" are based upon(as well as the entities which modern conceptions of archangels are based), thats fine, but in that case insisting on calling it Satanism is rather pointless.  If you dislike Christianity, why base the name for your beliefs on a name which originally stood for something entirelly different than what it does now?  IMO you are overly wrapped up in words.  A common definition of demons I have seen is that they are aspects of the human-group mind that have seperated and incarnated independantly.  They are indeed very malicious, and form what might be thought of as the dark side of our greater selves.  These are the entities which inflict much woe on mankind, and it does not make much difference whether you call them demons or tinkle winkle fairies, they are what they are, quite independant of human philosophies.

However, I have been able to establish a connection with the aspects of the archangels evoked in the LBRP, and they are indeed loving beings.  Basking in their energy is quite a joyful experience.

I feel that you are overly focused on folk tales and symbols which were eventually misinterpreted by the masses.  Satan was more so a symbol of man's temptation and dark side than anything.  Yahweh was an incorrect, amalgated version created by combining the term Yud-Heh-Vahd-heh (a term refering to the four elements of the divine, the tetra-polar aspect of the universe) with term Adonai (lord).  As often happens, the common people conceptualized all of this as anthromorphic gods, while the few priests who were initiated into the secret mysteries knew better.

Lucifer, or Samael, is not exactly the same thing as Satan.  Archdemons are not human, and human evil should not be applied to their actions.

Mythological beings and the folktales which grow up around them can be interesting, but trying to create some ill-informed ministery around it will never help anyone.  You come off as being a Christian, except that your Gods have been switched around.  Look closely at your posts and you will see what I mean.

Hi, thanks for reading.

For me, high school would be moreso a sign of lack of progress, imprisonment, and stiffling of the spirit.

I do feel like the sign is connected to the other part of the dream though.  Actually, oftentimes there is an enormous building I'm exploring in my dreams.  It feels mysterious and somewhat frightening, along with a sense of going deep into some hellish nether world.

Dude, you need to not take those satanist fantasy books literally. [xx(]

LOL Runlola. []

The Jesus Action Figure, now at Wal-Mart!  Turns water to wine and erases your sins!  Comes with a life-size cross.

Well, I tried this again today, and just as before had problems with falling asleep.  It's sort of weird, usually whenever I wake up for work I push the snooze button on my alarm, then immediately fall back asleep.  I'm beginning to think that part of the problem is me being to eager and alert when I wake up, in expectation of projecting.  Setting timer might be making me more alert as well since it requires more movement.  Also, last night I didn't get very much sleep, and had done some energy raising, which tends to make me much less sleepy.

It seems that many of the conditions have to be just right, a decent amount of sleep the night before, not to drowsy or alert, not to energized.

Or, as I like to call it, the Fat Rat. []

Also, about the need to swallow, I have noticed that simply ignoring the urge does indeed take care of it.  Eventually, once enough saliva has accumulated at the back of your throat, your body will swallow it involuntarily.  Since it does this every night while you're asleep, there's not really any danger of it breaking the trance state.  Once the wave of heaviness comes over you, even the need to swallow goes away.