How heter, well first off killing yourself will not show you how. youll need to get through depression before anything. one of the best things to do for yourself is to WALK or excercise. WHY? because exercise causes the seratonine (which makes you happy) in your brain to release. Your brain will then start to naturally produce more seratonine as you continue exercising daily. SO GET OUT of your chair right now and WALK around your block for atleast 30 minutes JUST DO IT and DO IT DAILY EVERY DAY WALK WALK WALK