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quote:Originally posted by singularity

My loser friends?

I have the same problem with my wife.

Surely you can rationalize the salvia with a pretty clear conscience. Start sampling the mild herbal preparations of herbs like ginseng, gingko biloba, St. John's wort, stuff like that, that claim to have mental benefits.  Keep the bottles in the kitchen with the vitamins.  Get them used to it.  If they can't handle that I'd blow them off and start doing what you want for crissake.  But hopefully they'll get used to the idea that you're an herb nut.  

Then buy some salvia extract prepared for sublingual use.  Show it to your parents, tell them its just a cool new herb.  You won't have to smoke it (which is a hassle anyway).  You won't trip as hard, but it lasts a little longer.  I like it.

If Mom or Pop wants to try it, let 'em.  Sounds like they could use some mind expanding experiences, and it's great fun watching people get off.

Good luck.  Salvia rules.

Loser friends.... I'm assuming most of us are teens and know a feel alright people that we might call friends but that have zero responsibility when it comes to substance use and do really stupid things while on drugs, and do them soley for the sake of seeing how messed up they can get or escapism reasons.

Leave them off salvia and angry parents won't find out about it, and complaints won't be made.

Anyway, my parents know what salvia is, like I said, they spy on me. Though my dad called it "saliva" I think he may have said not to use it, or something.

Also I don't think I can find sublingual stuff locally and I can't have some damn drugs sitting on my porch for my parents to find.

I doubt it'll be outlawed, becuase not many people know about it.

Basically, DON'T TELL ANY OF YOUR LOSER FRIENDS ABOUT THIS DRUG, don't talk about it on non spirituality based forums, etc....

Keep the irresponsible a**holes that more or less are responsible for the illegal status of drugs (neglecting the corruption of the government and the strong holds of the alcohol and tobacco industry and our stupid dogmatic puritan values) off of Salvia and keep them on X and Meth and all those other stupid drugs and you'll keep Salvia legal.

So now, I have a very serious question here, and I know I shouldn't post this, but oh well, here I am doing so....

My parents are a bit facist when it comes to drug use. They forbid me to use anything, regardless of it's legal status, but I am an adult (and living with them).

I want to try salvia very badly, as well as perhaps these legal amarita mushrooms that are said to give you a very Alice like trip....

But to do so would... well... it would go against their will... I dont' care about their will too much but it does feel disrespectful in doing so, at least, while I'm living with them. But on the other hand it is extremely intolerant and selfish of them to forbid me to experiment with NATURAL substances... I mean who do they think they are, the government?

I realize that by responsibly experimenting I could very well jump start my as of this far uninspired attempts at gaining spirituality and understanding of things.... and yeah sure there are some small risks too, but that's okay, I'm fine with them.

And I realize that objectively speaking my happiness and spirituality matters a lot more than some stupid FORCED agreement to not use drugs while living with them. I mean, hell if I were a christian it'd be like them saying "you cannot pray."

Becuase really Salvia has been a staple in many religious practices for thousands upon thousands of years dammit.... to people back then it was no different than going to church or praying regularly.

So it's like... what should I do? I figure I should probably not do it given if caught with it they are only going to SPY ON ME (yes, they spy on me, and yes, I have plenty of solid proof, and even admittance from them about it) more (isn't it illegal to monitor my computer activities since I'm an adult?) and lose more and more trust for me.

I don't like them at all, but I do love them a lot and I don't want to destroy whatever form of relationship we may have right now.... but enough is enough and I feel oppressed and violated... even to the point where it affects my dreams, I mean hell that's probably why I'm getting raped almost every night... I have all these issues with oppression and invasion of privacy and it does feel violating... and I hate wondering whether this is going to be read by them or not but I'm not sure they know about these forums yet.

If they do, leave me the f*** alone, please, this is horrible parenting... it's not like I'm sitting here plotting killing sprees... I'M TRYING TO EXPAND MY MIND, and whether you agree with it or not I'm an adult and you have no right to tell me I can't do so, at least, with legal substances... I understand not wanting me to do illegals while living with you completely.

(I hate living in Nazi Germany (a.k.a USA, "land of the free" where you don't have due process and can be spied on without warrant, and you're just as bad as a thief or a rapist if you smoke a plant)

i had something very similar happen.. you didn't by chance read my post and have her manifest into your subconscious did you?

http://www.astralpulse.com/forums/topic.asp?TOPIC_ID=9089&SearchTerms=transluscent

it's in one of my posts towards the bottom, look for the highlighted text if you'd care to read it.

i wouldn't be too trusting of her though, unless the second encounter i had with her was just an imposter.

i'd like to know the same... i just recently had a dream which i've now forgotten, but messages were being communicated to me and immediately upon waking up i could not understand the messages anymore

i remember i was watching the simpsons and subliminal messages were flashing something like "do you think you're being watched?" and it had something to do with the govt spying on me.... then there were people talking about me while i was out of body, it was probably my own subconscious thoughts though manifesting themselves somehow.

maybe the things that can't be translated are in essence meaningless and we just believe that they have a meaning because we are in an altered and accepting state of consciousness where we might see a talking a dog and think nothing of it.

quote:Originally posted by JustLikeThePill

you dont have a disease.i was told its the sound of electrical impulses in your brain. I hear it when ever it is quiet and there is no background noise. when i focus on it it gets louder. i've always heard it, in fact, i remember clearly hearing it when i was about 4 years old because i remember asking my mom what it was.

whenever i am in certain places i hear it, like the outside of the movie theater where you buy tickets... it hurts so bad, and i seem to be the only one that picks up on it.....

heard it in the halls of my school today

i'm familiar with the hearing damage ring, but sometimes it's a different ring than that, and the only thing i've been able to pin it on is electricity, sometimes in a computer room it gets really loud/bad but if i step out of the room i'm fine.

i'm not sure if it's an external ring that most people just learn to tune out or it has something to do with the way electricity is affecting my brain or something.

positive ions

Opiate, first off, tool reference? Reference to what Marx said? Both?

Second, you sound a lot like me.

"The no1 reason tho... is that i hear time is a little distorted. This is what i need most... i need time! Basically, if i could slow down my life to half its speed = bliss! I would like nothing more than a place to just float off to and sit and meditate or think for hours on end..."

I wish I could do the same, but I never have enough time.

About them not knowing the girls name and people in your dreams being dumb and your environments being lifeless... I kind of have the same problems.

First off, the most realistic environments I tend to have are usually when I am not lucid... people will converse with me, and I with them, and it will seemingly make perfect sense.

When I'm lucid I encounter many lifeless people that seem zombie like. Bruce calls them "shells".....

I think (possibly) these are there because when you become lucid you have a tendency to step OUT of the defined dream you are in, and into your own creations, and your mind doesn't really know what to do with these creations.

it's like, if you are in a hospital in your dream with lots of people in it, as long as you stay in that scene you are still bound by some of it's rules (like the Matrix) if in the dream the people are intelligent and you can interact with them, it's because that's the way they were to begin with and your subconscious is kind of still running that "sub program"

If you try to run through walls you're gonna have problems... if you leave the dream scene and try to force yourself into a location, you're also going to have problems. Assuming you can get where you want to go (not terribly hard) you still have to account for what mode your subconcious is running in, and how to get it to do what you want it do.

Then, if we are to believe in astral planes and that not all dreams are 100% confined to your own mind, we have to take into account just what plane this lucid dream we are in lies. Perhaps some of the lifeless people are creations of your mind, while the intelligent ones are real dreamers/projectors.

It's really so much to think about and I'm not sure it's something we'll ever be able to understand... the only thing you can really do is read what other people have to say and use trial and error.

Sometimes my dreams are vivid and real life like, sometimes (almost always) they are Alice like... I've found that I can sometimes even hear my subconscious directing other people's actions if I stop and listen....

Which has led me to wonder if we are each character in our dreams and are dealing with a split mind kind of thing?

Well at any rate rather than working on projecting I'd work on having more realistic and satisfying lucid dreams and getting to the point where you can stay in them for what feels like longer than 15 minutes and to where if you wake up you can have a fairly high success rate at pulling yourself back into the dream where you left off.

This will improve your dream recall and give you familiarity with movement and character interaction and how to manipulate your mind and environment... and then you might feel more confortable and confident when you try to induce OBE...

Though I'm skeptical as to whether there is any difference whatsoever between OBE and lucid dreaming... and whether you really can go to REAL places that almost exactly mirror the physical world when you leave your body.

And I've never been to any "higher planes" so to speak, although twice I think I stumbled into the so called Buddhic (or whatever one the rainbow one is).. I can't recall how it looked other than that it took my breath away and made me cry and I got there on accident... this was 2 years ago when I first started lucid dreaming, and I've yet to go back.

quote:Originally posted by fallnangel77

holy reality, do you have some kind of issues with sex? You don't have to answer because it is not important that I know. What is important is that you explore why you dream of sex and feel guilty about it. Do you have issues about control, you being in control of others and/or others being in control over you? Look within, meditate, and explore yourself. Try not to be judgemental about what you experience, but examine with a passive curiousity as to why you dream such things.

that's just it... the only issue i have with sex is that i haven't had it and well, desire to...

but yes i do have issues with feeling powerless and invaded and violated.... fear of the government and oppression and negativity of things i want to do and things i think by society (my "religious" views and my views on drugs mainly) and then my parents spying on me.

That could play a large role in it, in that what is more powerless and violating than being raped? In fact that may completely be it. I'm not sure.

I've started wondering about karma myself...

See, for like an year or two in a row, 95% of my lucid dreams consist of well... SEX, and lots of it.

Sometimes the people are like, totally zombie like and not moving, sometimes they resist....

Yet that never bothered me because, well, IT'S A DREAM, they aren't real, right?

But what if they are? What if the ones that seem semi intelligent are real people and I've stepped into their dream pools?

I hadn't thought about that at all before, because it would seem ludicrous... but as of the past month or two well I've been on the receiving end of that... entities and peoples doing things to me that I don't want done while I'm powerless and mindless to stop it.... just like those people in my dreams were.

I don't know if it's karma or what... I mean I have been cutting down on my sexual deviancy (as realising the pointlessness of it) whilst lucid dreaming lately, before the whole me being harrassed by entities thing started... so maybe I'm just trying to cleanse myself and the demons and such and people and beings are like the undesirable parts of my consciousness that I want to destroy.

?

At any rate, I tend to ask people before I do things to them now, be they real or not... they tend to say yes or can be easily persuaded to say yes though, so it's all good.

But it's still counter productive and doesn't accomplish anything.... damn my human-ness.

yes, and I hate them with a passion...

it's the worst feeling in the world dreaming that you cannot sleep, or dreaming that you keep getting woken up, then when you finally do wake up you are drained of energy due to fricking waking up all night in your sleep, you know?

I hate it... I almost always dream about sleeping and being in beds though, almost every night I'd imagine, though dream recall about it is somewhat vague.... last night I was dreaming about energy raising and lucidity, yet it never occurred to me that I was dreaming [!] .... it was screwed up too, my family were all in this room with a bunch of beds at this institute doing some kind of dream research.

And this "dream spider" would fly over to your pillow and do something.... and my mom got freaked out by it, and I did too, but I'm like "oh it's just the dream spider, it's okay"

it's so ironic when you dream about lucidity yet you go through the entire dream oblivious to the fact that you ARE actually dreaming....

i don't think location has a lot to do with realness...

this one time I was in a hospital of sorts and they drugged me up and such, while i was sleeping i all of a sudden shifted into the hallway from a dream i was in, and i was floating down it beyond my control... I saw the security guards and everything and staff... but .... there was an ELEVATOR in the middle of the room.

There is no elevator in the middle of that room. Other than that it was fairly real though, but .... well.. I think it just has to do with places you are more familiar with looking more real, becuase you go to them so much that your subconscious can recreate them easily.

I mean I can go to Magic Mountain whenver I want while lucid usually, by stepping through the front door with eyes closed thinking about Magic Mountain and saying I'm there.... and it's *fairly* accurate looking.

But it still isn't dead on accurate, and can get quite dream like.

I think it's all based upon your familiarity with places and whether or not you have a photographic memory.

quote:Originally posted by mattrox

rofl holy, I think that was a dream, not an OBE

well i haven't yet noticed the slightest difference between lucid dreams and OBEs aside from how they begin, one being me going "hmm, I'm lucid" and waking up into my room (usually), and one being me exiting my body....

The environments are still just as whacked up and nonsensical though, usually.... i haven't noticed any correlation between realness and projection/dreaming.... just that the realest things get are in my house and immediately outside it.

But yeah.... I'm pretty sure I wasn't actually on the moon. []

Though maybe it was a sign that the moon landing was faked.

[EDIT]

quote:Originally posted by sstonevenuss

how long has this been going on?

Do you feel as if you are being fought over? Like two different sides are trying to win/seduce you?

I'd say........ since August. I've had a few encounters here or there with scary things during isolated sleep paralysis episodes since well... age 13 I guess (I'm 18 now).

I've never felt like there is any sort of battle going on....I've only been visited by one presence that I would call an angel.

She was a beautiful transluscent pale white being, naked, I believe... full of compassion and sympathy, she came to me during the worst period that this has ever gone through (a 2 week span of constant "attacks" over and over again every night, which needless to say I wasn't pleased about) and she rested on top of me and I believe I cried on her shoulder.

Later I think she came back, and I asked her who she was, and I wasn't really getting any kind of coherent answers (which makes me think it wasn't real, well I don't really necessarily think any of this is real, more just me confronting dark sides of my personality) and then when I tried to touch her (i may have been arguing with her, not pleased with her lack of answers) she turned into a lizard and landed on my finger, which startled me, then she scampered away.

I wonder what it was she said to me, I may have posted it somewhere else... I think I'll go look...

At any rate, that is the only being that I'd consider worthy of calling "good" or an "angel" that I have ever encountered.

Last night I felt a presence again whilst hopping in and out of dreams... I thought it was my dad, but I wasn't sure, it sounded like him but it felt different... he was just touching me saying he loved me or something, but it felt strange and eery, probably because of the paralysis.... I could hear myself talking to him, as if I were talking in my sleep... it was very hard to do though, but I told him to go away... and he said okay, and I think he did, but I still felt a presence... I then rethought that and was trying to get him to wake me up becuase I couldn't will myself awake... but nothing happened.. eventually i just kept twitching my foot and wiggling fingers and got out of it, no one was there.

EDIT

Whoah okay, this is really weird..... alright this is what I wrote about the angel.

9-06-03
"now then.... last night instead of being tormented in my sleep a transluscent angel came and hugged me and i cried on her shoulder.... it was really cool and a nice feeling.....

then the next time i woke up the angel came back was a lot smaller and looked weird... and landed on my finger.. i tried to talk to her and asked who she was, she was answering in my head... or i was just thinking of answers because i remember wondering if that was really her answering

but she said she was tinkerbell.. and i'm like "no you aren't" and i was getting frustrated with her weird answers, then she turned into a lizard, which kind of freaked me out and she started crawling down my arm, but then i'm like "oh, it's just a lizard, nothing to worry about" and then it crawls onto my pillow... then i fully wake up, and it's not there.
"

TINKERBELL.... this is screwed up, last week, this happened:

"Posted: Tue Nov 25, 2003 1:46 pm    Post subject:     
wow something really strange happened last night that I just now remembered...

I was sitting up in my bed, thinking I was awake (which is doubtful) and there were 3 figures floating around my room... at first they were just in the back of my head and whenever I tried to turn to see them they would stay behind me, then they floated into my field of vision in front of me.

One was what seemed to be exactly like Tinkerbell.... one was a floating knife.... the other... I'm not sure what it was... they were all cartoon like...

They were kind of annoying me, but I'm not sure what it was they were doing.... I think I tried to talk to them but I wasn't really capable of speaking, though I'm not sure.......

At any rate... I got sick of their presence and tried to smash one of them... Tinkerbell took the knife and jabbed it into my chest, which felt very strange... not painful, but... I could feel it go in, and it kind of vibrated and tingled...

this scared me awake, and I checked the time, and it was 1:11..... only... I wasn't really awake.... becuase I did the clock test and the time kept changing.... so anyways I woke myself up fully and was a bit weirded out.... and coincidently I had been recording myself last night to see whether or not I talked during my sleep, so I should have said something about it while it was fresh in my mind, but I just went back to sleep.

It was really strange though.... and I couldn't find myself talking at al during the recording, though I need a more sensitive mic......... my fans kind of drowned anything audible out."



What is going on with Tinkerbell? Do I have trauma from Disney? Their shows used to scare me quite a bit what with Fantasia and all those demons.. and that mirror man... and then of course, that nightmare I had about Captain Hook as a child... but I mean, I've seen those shows since them and they don't bother me in the slightest....

i went to the "moon" once but it looked like it was made of cheap sytrofoam scenery...

there was a military complex on it though with tribal looking people inside.... and a lot of neck ties.

(JustLikeThePill didn't see your message last night, i'll be on AIM in a bit though)
okay so.........

Last night I kind of projected from consciouness from the first time.. I woke up at 5 a.m. and couldn't fall asleep, so I listened to music for an hour or so then did a relaxation technique... felt my hands get heavy.. felt some pain in my arm and tried to work some energy to it.. then decided to try the NEW exercise about stimulating your hands and arms and such... so I did that and got my hands feeling activiated and stuff, and my arms to a small degree...

I then just did breath awareness for a while, and it felt like each breath I took in was sending energy to the right side of my head/brain very heavily... so I tried to continue the flow over to the left once it hit the right, which kind of worked but not very well... then I tried to open my Crown chakra, which I probably suceeded at, and try to balance the energy in the top of my head and then direct it down into brow and throat.

After a while I started falling asleep and "jolting" awake, not physically jolting, my body was still tired, but my mind would pop back into awareness... I must have done this about 10 times, which is very tiring... before I noticed my hands were way heavier than normal, then they started vibrating... only.. I was not what I would refer to as "paralyzed" I could still move THEM, and by them I mean my physical hands.

At any rate, vibrations started picking up... I was kind of out of it though, but I heard the old man (Jasper I think) from the Simpsons say "if you're experiencing vibrations, raise your hand" which I found hilarious since to do so would cancel the vibrations... I laughed... this really strange as hell laugh that sounded like it came from a teenage girl... and it was on repeat... over and over and over... forming this weird energy flow... the vibrations went insane like I don't think I've ever felt before, and I became very giddy but stayed calm and tried to balance them out to my head as they were largely located in the chest.

Sadly the vibrations then died, and I could not get them back... so I said screw it and rolled over and just tried to fall asleep.

A few hours later after lucid dreaming (but not of the exploraiton variety) I kept waking up out of the dream and ended up half falling asleep then jolting mentally awake and vibrating a little.

I managed, with difficulty, to get out of my body.. I'm not sure how, I think I had to physically try to exit it... at any rate.. the first thing I do is look for my physical body.. I don't see it... I feel like I'm in danger of being drawn back into it though, so I timidly peer under the sheets and see my "head" only it didn't look like "me" it was kind of shaved...

I then looked for my computer, which wasn't there... and noticed old furniture in the room that I no longer have. I decided I'd try and create something due to reading that astral magic article and stuff.. so I tried to make a $100 dollar bill... well.. it was quite amazing.. I watched one materialize in my hand.. only it was a $1 bill... I tried to make it a $100 but it only went up to $50.. I decided that was good and set it on top of my bed... then I tried to make another but started waking up.

I projected again shortly thereafter and went outside, and it was night... rather than morning.. I floated up in the air and asked for a guide and asked to be taken to the astral realm... I went somewhere... with goblins... it was like a world directly on top of this one and I was sitting on the edge looking down at where I had just come from.. I noticed a golden shimmer by me but I couldn't focus on it or make sense of it, and thought it may have been my guide.

I vaguely remember talking to what was either him, or a goblin, about things and about the future of earth.. I asked him of US civil war and nuclear war, and he said it wasn't set in stone but it seemed likely.

(don't know if this is just becuase of that damned John Titor page and my paranoia of the government though)

but yeah... how am I not projecting for "real" I mean.. I leave my body...... ? Sometimes I see myself leave it... isn't that about as real as you can go? I guess I'm just stepping into a dream version of my room.

i came up with this exact notion one day when i was insanely tired and tried meditating without success...

there is one HUGE problem though

my mind gets so tired it can't say things right, it'll start saying "mind asleep" "body awake" and stuff like that... i get disorganized, it's very hard....

i've tried it before too as a mantra and had the same problem, but i think it's because I'm starting to totally fall asleep... as it drives me into hypnagogic hallucinations and creates that lovely falling sensation you get when falling asleep sometimes.

but it doesn't trance me...

i'm gonna try it tonight though, i never tried the colors thing and trying to visualize it.

quote:Originally posted by Logic

Salvia Divinorium and Blue Lotus would work alot better than marijuana. Things like DMT, ayahuasca, etc, work pretty much instantly though. only problem is that DMT is illegal [xx(]

I don't know if this has been commented on given I'm not really interested in reading all these pages right now but:

I think 5 meo-DMT is legal (not sure how it is in comparison to real DMT), for "research purposes" from various online vendors.... but... DMT is supposedly insanely intense and therefore I wouldn't recommend it to any novice drug users.

Same for ayahuasca, supposedly it's about intense as you can get?

i think it's best to learn to deal with moderate distractions so that you can learn to concentrate better...

now if you live in a neighborhood surrounded by 20 dogs that don't shut the .... up at all.. maybe they would be helpful, but if you only have to deal with the occasional lawn mower or dog barking or someone pounding on something i'd just get used to it.

i mean the noises do almost always break concentration to a DEGREE... but even if they startle you, you can still pick up right where you left off and push all the thoughts and adrenaline and such aside and not break what you were doing the first time.

at least... i think you can... it depends on how mentally sharp and focused you are at the given time, if you're about to trance and not very coherent i guess it could be a big problem.

i still think it's better to try to get used to it though rather than rely on ear plugs or music.

look at it from the other side... whatever the lumps are,  your body recognized them forming, and converted them into your dream/paralysis content.

I once dreamed... that I had some discomfort in a certain area and I told my friend, and it felt like I had a tick or some sort of growth on me... well...

when I woke up, I don't think anything was there, but exactly one day later it appeared in the EXACT SAME PLACE as it was in the dream, only on the opposite side... and it felt exactly the same.

My guess was it started forming that night, hence, transitioned into my dream.

My guess is the same happened to you.

You shouldn't have lumps on your spine though, I'd get that looked at.

well... from experience I can say that this works... to a degree

A few months ago I was going through some really harsh episodes of sleep paralysis for a few weeks straight... almost every night all I'd do was dream about waking up, or become paralyzed and have all sorts of horrible presences attacking me....

I read about a technique to do when this happens to pretend you are a mirror so that you reflect their bad energy back to them.

I tried it.. and it worked very well, I was still scared but they seemed to be gone and I started vibrating... well... later that night everytime I'd halfway wake up I'd say "mirror" in my head and imagine that I am a mirror, and INSTANT VIBRATION.... after a few times this lead to almost instant OBE, I think... I don't remember it well.

However, I haven't tried it since then (while paralyzed) but.... based upon that I do think you can condition yourself to OBE to a stimulus... I think what I did was more of a post hypnotic suggestion though given that I can't meditate for 15 minutes and try the mirror thing and get vibrations...

so just becuase the OBE clearly isn't "real" becuase it's within a dream, it's still valid?

Example: I'm in the bandroom and for whatever reason, decide to project. I lay down, close my eyes, instant vibrations, I'm out... I'm not sure where I exited into, but I'm out, and I do stuff, then I "wake up" back into the bandroom and continue dreaming about being in the bandroom.

All of the above is a dream, and the OBE would be a dream, or at least, projection/lucid dream, within a dream.

This kind of negates it doesn't it? It's just basically a form of attaining brief lucidity. You could say I was actually really projecting in real life and exiting my body and that's how my mind represented it, but how so? IF I'M DREAMING.... then I'm already out of my body to begin with?

Or... when you dream does your astral body just stay floating above your body? Is the only time it's free to explore when you actually initiate a projection? This doesn't make much sense though given that I think you are IN your "astral" body so to speak, while dreaming...?

false awakenings aren't a bad thing... they may not be what you want, but instead of trying to wake up, why don't you just repeat in your head what you want to remember a few times, and go lucid until you're forced awake?

it kind of depends on what time of the night you do this though, but like if you had something you needed to write down and it's like 11 a.m. and you've been sleeping in, if you go lucid i can almost guarantee when the lucid dream falls apart after about 15 minutes or so you'll completely wake up for real, but if you try to force awake you'll just keep getting false awakenings until you stop the lucidity and forget what it is you want to do.

and i've never seen my body on my bed, it's always missing....

i'm having the same problem... i was trying the third eye opening excercise in training to see auruas and now i've got a lot of head pressure right there... i just tried to direct it to other parts of the body but it didn't help too much

it feels like throbbing/pulsating...

It seems that having a conversation with someone in your dreams is more or less like having a conversation with your subconscious... is it not?

I remember when I first went around trying to initiate conversations with others that they wouldn't talk to me, or they seemed completely void of all feelings and intelligence.

This however, could very well be a reflection upon my personality, given that I'm not eager to converse with people, especially strangers, and probably seem to lack emotion most of the time.

I haven't done much experimentation with conversing with others while lucid but I'd venture to say it could teach you a lot about yourself...

Maybe I'll try to tonight and see what happens....

My experiences with the black void haven't been so pleasant.

quote:Saturday.... had this dream that I can't remember very well, I was talking to a man about dreaming, and about pot, and he said something akin to "Do you know what happens when you wake up?" and he was talking about waking up a lot, and then he asked me again, and I realized that if I woke up, I was going to cease to exist.....

and then BOOM there is just nothingness, all that is there is my mind, but I can feel it rapidly decaying.... I'm screaming this distorted fuzzy internal scream like I've never heard before... crazy excrement... and that scream remains in my head well upon waking up, and then slowly fades away.
to elaborate on that.... I felt like I was really dying... I've had my fair share of nightmares and hypnagogic hallucinations and really weird things happen to me, but this really felt real.... the adrenaline rush... some intense vibrations, but not of the projecting variety (at least I think, I can't remember very well) and that scream..... eminating from within and echoing inside my entire being, body, and spirit.....

this is what I wrote a few days ago, I had the dream on 11-23 I believe.

I was reading a thread on some other forums I post on called "Dream Fantasy" and someone said something akin to "If you have a dream within a dream, doesn't that cancel the two out, making the dream not real?".... most of the posts were incoherent, which is to be expected from dream content... the last post in there I clearly remember saying "a! f*cking......." something something..... I have it written down.... but... what it said isn't important.....

Anyway, this dream I was in lasted a very long time and spanned many different scenes and scenarios and even involved perhaps a dream within a dream or two, as I did dream about sleeping.... at the end of it I was back at that thread, and to my recollectoin (in the dream that is) it said THE EXACT SAME THINGS as it said before, right down to the very last post... now... I was not lucid, but I wasn't quite normal dream stupid, and I realized that this shouldn't be.... the posts should have drastically changed given the nature of text within dreams.....

Well I read the last post, and it triggered a chaotic reaction within me much like the first one when that man said something to me.... I was on my side in my bed, vibrating fiercly, hearing electricity running back and forth through my head and feeling it go through my body.... in pulses.... during each pulse, I could see and hear, to an extent, but inbetween them I was in nothingness, but still had a sense of general existance.... my dad was there, and he was saying something like "please stop shaking" but.... it was broken up and fragmented due to the pulsated hearing going on..... I kind of thought maybe I was dying and EMTs were trying to revive me.... but I decided it would be acceptable to will myself out of this, so I did.... and everything was normal.... and I was like "hmm... that was interesting"

I wonder what would have happened if I didn't decide to "live" during that moment... I know it wasn't real... and I didn't really panic of freak out like I did the first time, but while I was in that brief state I kind of halfway felt it might have been real.... what if I had decided "no... i'll just stay like this...." ?

from my "I deseprately need/help/advice/suggestions" thread in the general OBE forum at the top.

Now...it's interesting to note that I am not "dying" per se in those dreams... rather I'm transitioning into nothingness while bypassing death.

I have dreamed about dying... generally I don't actually die, but a few times I have, and been a ghost, or woken up, or gone to heaven, etc....

Usually I'm scared... sometimes I'm not.

I had an evil looking woman tell me I needed to get over my issues with death in a lucid dream I had recently though, it was very strange.

I guess I fear death, I mean I don't know where I'm going to go or what's going to happen (no one does) and "everyone dies alone" and... well.. the pain...

But it's not a paranoia or phobia or anything like that.

[This]

just lost my reply [!]

okay well, I completely agree with you, but the only problem is I don't really have any hang ups or feelings of guilt about sex, and I don't think anything is wrong with having sex.

However, I used to, given my religious upbringing, and those beliefs may still be lying dormant... as sometimes I do feel fleeting feelings of guilt that I have abandoned my "faith" but then I realize... WHAT FAITH? This is my faith right now, and that's all that matters. And of course I'm fully aware that the only reason I, and most of humanity, adhered to that particular organized doctrine is because we were RAISED INTO IT before we knew any better.

So... I don't know.

I think it would be good for me to get some though...