Messages

I tend to be a little wary of people who use the term "After-Life" because it seems to show what thier view of Life is. There is no such thing as an "After-Life", only 'Life' at different levels of Being.
Death is an illusion. Those that don't realize this, use the term "After-Life" as though Life somehow ends when one leaves the Physical. This may seem like i am being petty but someone who uses this term has little to teach me.
Caveat Emptor.

This reminded me of a short dialogue i had once with a character in one of my dreams;

Dream Character- "You do realize you are dead don't you?"

Me: "What is the difference?"



Having said this i will try to read some of the material when i can

pax

McArthur

[Originally posted by James S:]

quote:Originally posted by James S:
I know two sure-fire ways to protect yourself, but I don't really think you'd enjoy either wrapping yourself up in electrical degaussing coils,

Now theres an idea i would certainly give a try. Its not so much about having to stay in the coils, its more to do with getting a really strong *pulse* of some kind of field (or degausser) to see if it affects this entity or not. The very weak EM field given off by my beard trimer seems to do something, so i need something with a bit more Umph to it. I know this sounds like Sci-Fi and a little crazy but its all i have to go on right now. And i bet those damn coils are expensive too.

quote:
or spending your days inside a Faraday Cage http://www.astralpulse.com/forums/images/icon_Smile.gif" border=0>

I wonder if the entity could be trapped inside a small cage like this though. That would depend on if the Entity is EM in nature or not. I know it alters the EM field, but this doesnt mean to say that it IS the EM field.

quote:
But seriously, if your looking to remove EM fields your looking for something like a crystal  Bioelectric shield. There are a lot of snake oil peddlers, but the  bioelectric shields at least have a basis in physics (Bragg's law -  x-ray diffraction using a crystal lattice - later also tested using microwaves)

They're not cheap, but they seem to get results.

Ouch! Youre right, theyre not cheap. If i was a millionaire i would sure give it a shot to see if they do anything. I think i need a wealthy benefactor to help me set up a Mad Scientists Laboratory...

-------
Nita::  Yes, i agree with what you say about not interacting with it. And yep, i actually have objective proof that this thing exists.  I wish i knew if it *was* partly EM in nature or wether it is just able to affect the EM field. I guess i will find out when i figure out out to affect the EM fields myself. I figure that IF it is EM in nature and i am able to build something that gives off a strong enough EM pulse or degausser, it might make it let go. I am now going to be dreaming of building a futuristic ElectroMagnetic Stun Gun so i can walk around zapping negs hehe.

So do we have any Physics wizkids on the Forum? Anyone want to help me build an anti-neg stun gun?

so lets see what we have here;

1. This entity is able to manipulate EM fields.

2. Health authorities are able to manipulate Em fields.

3. Using subtle differences in the Em fields the health authorities are able to make patients experience depression or the divine or a "presence" or other hallucinations.

4. Therefore this entity, in order to affect humans, must be doing something similar to the health authorities. If i am right and this is what it is doing, then it would be able to create all sorts of illusions and hallucinations.



pax

McArthur
p.s. I'm working on the self-exorcism. Maybe i'll add to the other thread regarding that.

Hi James,  
i thought i would post a link that gives some of the basic ideas behind the Celestine prophecy book i mentioned. Like most books there will be some things that may not feel right for you personally but it has a positive message and it was instrumental in getting me to seek out a spiritual path to start with. Some of the later books are not so good imo but the parable stories are worth a read;

http://www.celestinevision.com/in_body.html

Happy Travels

McArthur

I thnk i need to state here that i bought the EM Meter to measure the EM fields and wasnt expecting the results i actually got from it. The only reason i "spoke" with this Entity is to actually be certain that is was making the needle move and it wasnt my overactive imagination. Once i was certain that the entity was somehow manipulating the Em fields i was picking up, i stopped. The entity in question is quite a nasty one and i wouldnt really expect any truth from it anyway. I know this through experience. The only reason i think it "played" with making the meter beep was because it was a new "toy" for it and it seemed to enjoy trying out its abilities to manipulate yet one more thing in the physical plane. It certainly wasnt doing it for my benefit.
 I have just finished reading PPSD and i totally agree with Robert that Ouiji boards and similar calling of spirits is a highly dangerous thing to do. I only did what i did because i knew i was gaining some inmportant reasearch on its abilities and the fact it was already there anyway. I consider calling spirits out of curiosity the height of folly and is one way of getting oneself into something i know would be regretted. I am speaking from experience here and hope any reading this take mine and Roberts advice.

Pax

McArthur

[Originally posted by PeacefulWarrior:]

quote:Originally posted by PeacefulWarrior:

Brain Chemistry and the Electromagnetic Spectrum Made Understandable

Sounds like an interesting read, shame its out of print. Must be a popular book, it sold 800,000 on amazon!
I would be interested in what he has to say about EM & Brain chem.

[Originally posted by PeacefulWarrior:]

quote:Originally posted by PeacefulWarrior:
THanks for the link Mc Arthur...and by the way, you know the individual who wrote that "Noonday Devil" thing?

No. I just happened to stumble on his website while doing a search on Jinn Beings.
As for Alien-like beings, i think that negs (astal entities) seem to be able to shape-shift into whatever form suits thier purpose. Maybe it would more correct to say that they project thier image into the mind of the observer... ?

I have seen this a few times before but never really read its contents because i didnt like the "Commercial Advertising" feel to it. But i just read the following page;

http://nujournal.net/choice.html

And now find it far more interesting. I think i'll download the free books. Thanks for the link.

42

Hi James,
              i really enjoyed your story about the lightening, it reminds me of similar things i have experienced. One might say that the lightening *knew* you were watching it and werent afraid. Everything is alive in this Universe of ours, even seemingly inanimate rocks. Spirit is in everything and everything is spirit in various forms. When someone like yourself suddenly realizes this, the Cosmos will go to extraordinary lengths to let you know that It knows you are watching It. Not many people today see Nature in this way, science has explained away the magic of our early ancestors to such a degree that no-one observes thier surroundings anymore. Not many anyway. I often talk to nature and the Cosmos and it "talks" back in its own way. One has to learn a new kind of Inner language for this though because it is far more abstract than mere conversation. 'The Language of the Birds' i believe its called in the Esoteric tradition.
 I tend to see a lot of rainbows. Whenever it is raining and i see the sun come out i always go outside to look for the rainbow. I stand there watching its beauty like being in some roofless Cosmic Art Gallery, and the Cosmos knows i am watching. I look around and see people walking and driving in cars. They dont see the rainbow because not many people look up into the sky anymore. Too busy with day to day living to see the magic around them. I talk to the Sun and Moon and Stars too. When the Sun shines on me i acknowledge the spirit of the Sun, i say "hi there, yes ive noticed you, thanks for your light". The Cosmos enjoys having people to talk to.

pax

McArthur
p.s. A good book is "Signposts- the Universe is Whispering to You",  by Denise Linn.

Interesting stuff. One of the things that stuck out was the use of bright lights to ward them off. Robert Bruce also suggests the use of bright lights to ward off "negs". There seems to be a connection of sorts. If i am not mistaken, i believe RB went on radio a while back and said something similar to what these people are saying i.e. abductions could be explained by beings somehow taking these folks OOB.
I also found this article;
http://ufoinfo.com/news/FSR_scientific.html

of interest. I wonder if negs find it harder to manifest in UV light, hmmm. I need a sunbed.

No-one has all the answers. We live in an extremely complex Universe. There are, of course, various maps along the way. The best map to follow is your own. Sometimes another persons map of reality will be of assistance, but never rely fully on other peoples perceptions. Thier Universe may not be your Universe. Following someone elses map to its conclusion may lead you to a simple piece of insight-- No matter how much people seem to know, none of us really know what is going on. I know i don't. Those who think they do are merely creating the illusion that they do in order to cope with the stress of not really knowing.
But creating ones own map at least gives one a sense of meaning in a confusing world.  Ordo Ab Chao.
Something that has helped me along the way is investigating the mysteries of synchronisities. I consider these to be little clues or hints from the Cosmos as to which direction may be of value to me. A good book that explains the basics of this is "The Celestine Prophecy: An Adventure" by James Redfield.

As Dolores Ashcroft-Nowicki said in a lecture i have linked below;

"The only truth to be found is a personal truth, the only findings worth anything are those you have found for yourself. The only knowledge worth having is what you have sought out, tried and tested by your own efforts."
http://www.servantsofthelight.org/SOL/Archives/Lectures/servethelight.html


Happy Travels

McArthur
------------
"The map *is* the treasure" - Arthur C Clarke

[Originally posted by McArthur:]

quote:Originally posted by McArthur:
Amazing. Im my prevoius post i wrote; "The Mirror looking in upon itself as it stares into Infinity."

I also posted a link to Pauls' experiences. I just read the one at this url http://www.iwasabducted.com/schroeder/tapping.htm Where it says;

" tapping, delicately, on my back. I am sitting up on a table, feeling gentle taps on my back, watching a series of images; myriad tables receding into infinity, like two mirrors facing each other."

Coincidence? I dont think so. Nothing happens by chance.
Read "The Celestine Prophecy"

I just recieved an email from Paul, i recommended he read some of Roberts' website and possibly his new book. The reply was  "robert bruce and i have communicated often over the years by email".
Coincidence again? I certainly had no idea he knew of RB when i emailed him.

I always thought it said "This Is Your God" on the dollar bills?  )

The Zelator by Mark Hedsel is a good book.
Self-Initiation into the Golden Dawn system by the Ciceros is also good.


Heres a url where you will find a LOT of occult books for free

http://fraktali.849pm.com/text/archive/index1.html

Happy reading

McArthur

HI folks,

Nita, heres is the list of symptoms i am getting that you asked for;

1. Tingling sensations. Mainly feet (more or less all the time, and i dont have low blood pressure), legs, groin and sub-navel area. The tingling at sub-navel area feels like there is something moving inside me. Sometimes this can be painful as i said in my other posts. Also sometimes at mouth, but rarely while i am awake.
2. Prickling sensations. I get these occasionally in my feet but have also had it in my ears and various other areas. Like a short sharp needle prick.
3. Sometimes i get nauseous because whatever this thing is its energy vibration stinks. i.e. quite a dark feeling to it.
4. Buzzing in my ears and head. This is constant and almost feels like i have a swarm of bees in my head at times. This also causes the occasional head and ear ache.
5. Muscle spasms. I get these mainly in my legs but it has and can happen in other areas. For instance, my lip just twitched as i was thinking where else (this was the entity).  These arent the main big muscles, but like nerve muscles near the surface of the skin. This is also more or less constant and feels like something is crawling under my skin at times.
6. Tiredness. I sleep an aweful lot and generally feel low on energy.
7. Dream intrusion. I cant be sure half the time about this but i certainly feel something is interfering with my dreams at times. Especially ones with a sexual nature.
8. Chakra stimulation. Most of my main chakras have been interfered with. Mainly my base chakra though. I get a dull heavy numb feeling and/or tingling sensations and/or prickling.
9. Constantly active clairaudience. This is my main weakness. I dont know how to shut it off and i get constant chatter where its trying to gain my attention through the buzzing in my head.
10. Lumps/Marks. I have a small lump on the back of my neck that has been there since i was about 14 when a wasp stung me there. I have some kind of marks on my thighs near genitals (either side) and at waistline. I also have similar marks underneath each armpit. These look like a small red patch under skin.
11. A general feeling of negativity.
12. Poltergeist type activity such as creaking sounds, lights flickering (or lightbulbs blowing). This isnt my electric wiring, it happens at other places apart from my own home.

At times the presence of this entity is so strong it feels like it has enveloped me. Almost like a large octopuss with tenticles that wrap around my waist, legs and body. Although it does seem to be mainly from my waist down to my feet, and my head.
I used to own a Natural triefield EM meter and was recording an average of 5 microteslas activity in the EM range.

I think thats it. If you have any questions let me know.

Pax

McArthur

Hi Nita,
          well im prepared to give anything a shot. I guess trying a self-exorcism should be my first try to see if i can get rid of it myself. If it doesnt work then we can try the next option. I am still waiting for my copy of PPSD to arrive so if you would like to share your way of doing it i would be grateful. I am off to Spain fairly soon and will be by the sea. Would the sea be classed as moving water or not?

There is one way of excorcism i am aware of but it seems quite technical and i am a little wary of making things worse. This would be to create a magick circle with a triangle of manifestation outside it and evoke this entity into the triangle thus trapping it. I think this would probably be my last resort if all else fails.

 Alchimiste would you mind adding your ritual to the thread?

Pax

McArthur

Amazing. Im my prevoius post i wrote; "The Mirror looking in upon itself as it stares into Infinity."

I also posted a link to Pauls' experiences. I just read the one at this url http://www.iwasabducted.com/schroeder/tapping.htm Where it says;

" tapping, delicately, on my back. I am sitting up on a table, feeling gentle taps on my back, watching a series of images; myriad tables receding into infinity, like two mirrors facing each other."

Coincidence? I dont think so. Nothing happens by chance.
Read "The Celestine Prophecy"

Good Luck Kristen! Hopefully we will be able to work all this out.
Regarding the energy sensations/movement in the head, i had an experience last night i will share.
I was laying in bed and somehow started to think about my dream/vision experience i have related elsewhere in this thread where i visit Sai Baba. I thought, 'what if i did go to india and meet him, would he act the same as my vision?' Then i imagined him asking me "Where is the mirror you were going to bring?"
I thought about this for a second thinking "well i cant realy materialize stuff out of thin air, what can i do?" (LOL) I then looked him in the eyes and said "My eyes are the mirror, just as your eyes are that same mirror".
This is why he saw my reflection in the mirror. It was the reflection of my image in the pupil of his eye in the reflection of his image in the pupil of my eye. The Mirror looking in upon itself as it stares into Infinity. Many pairs of eyes but only One Being that looks through them.

Anyway, i was pondering all this and thinking of God and doing some general philosophizing (as one does when all of a sudden my mind wandered to a recent event that happened two days ago. I wont go in to detail apart from i had a disagreement with someone and that it isnt really of much importance. I started reliving this disagreement with this guy in my head and started to feel angry about it. The more i went over it the more angry i felt. Suddenly, i realized that i had gone from quite a happy feeling thinking of God etc, to an angry one and an incident that is totally unrelated. I tried to stop thinking about the disagreement i had and push it out of my mind and get back to my philosophizing. As i did this i could feel a pressure build up in my head near the front of my skull and just inside. The more i pushed this "anger" away the more intense this pressure became until it was like a dull buzzing feeling about the size of a golfball. I suddenly realized it was this neg trying to interfere with my thoughts and went deeper into my mind to detach from this ball of "angry energy". As i detached myself from it i suddenly became very calm, no anger whatsoever and could feel this ball of anger-energy floating in my mind-space trying to interfer with me.
 Now let me say here that i know of the saying that one should not suppress ones emotions, but i assure you this anger-energy did not feel like it was mine and the buzzing energy sensation had all the tell-tale signs of this neg i have attached. Through going into meditation i was able to take a step back and observe this happening in a totally calm mind-space and i was observing this attempt to inject some kind of negative energy-emotion-scenario into my inner space.
 I have read books on evocation of spirits and these books always tell you to "talk to the spirits in a civil manner" because if you show them anger you supposedly run the risk of opening yourself up to Obsession by said spirit.
Maybe this is one of the ways they attach by using negative emotions. If they are mainly a negative being, maybe they need something negative within thier targeted victim to attach to in the first place? Maybe they dont, but i think it probably makes things easier for them.
 Anyway, i sat up and decided i would try to fill my mind with positive thoughts so i started reading the gospel of Mark (i prefer this one because the others seem to paint Jesus in a more judgmental light . Needlesss to say the anger-energy dissipitated and i eventually went to sleep.
  So these feelings within the skull of numbness and/or energy movements seem to be neg related and is one of the ways they attach and try to interfer with thier victim energetically, emotionally and psychically.
I also believe they are using some form of Electro magnetic interference in some way, i will post about that in my next post when i get chance.

Thoughts anyone?
--------------------

Also. I was just doing a search on Jinn beings and came across the following experiences by a guy named Paul Schroeder. I have emailed him and given him the addy to these boards. His experiences are very similar. Take a read at
http://www.iwasabducted.com/schroeder/jinns.htm

and

http://www.iwasabducted.com/schroeder/

-------------------

Pax

McArthur
p.s. thanks for the incouraging words alchimiste, it all helps.
-----------------------------
Your personality is but a mask on the face of God.

Hi folks,

Nita: I hadn't given the Arabic part of my dream/vision too much thought until you brought it up. I was just reading alt.magick and someone posted the following link to an article on Jinn beings. I thought i would supply the link for those interested.

http://www.sacred-texts.com/ufo/jinns.htm

Hi folks,

I need to comment on something here before i go on. Hearing voices is treated in todays "modern" society as a form of psychiatric problem possibly arising from some kind of chemical imbalance in the brain. Although i believe this to be a somewhat backward diagnoses (it is diagnosing the SYMPTOMS and not the CAUSE) i have and still am undergoing psychotherapy. To some this may make my story less believable, and thats ok. My doctor does not believe in spirits. I do. My doctor believes that my "voices" are psychological. I do not.
Five minutes walk from where i occasionally see this doctor is a spiritualist church where they hear and talk to spirits all the time. I keep forgetting to ask the doc what he thinks of this. Maybe i will next time Even though i have these opinions i still see the shrink for 3 reasons;
1. There is a possibility i am crazy and can't diagnose myself.
2. It may help even though i believe differently.
3. I am curious how the "Professionals" deal with my sort of case.

Onward we go.

when: This all started back in 1997 for me mainly, although i will say that i have had childhood memories come back that may indicate some form of intrusion back then (see below). I was searching various spiritual paths in 1997 and reading a lot. Every so often i would get a faint tone in my ears and i was wondering what this was. For some reason i now cant remember i wondered if it was a spirit trying to make contact, possibly a "Spirit Guide". I remember saying aloud something like "If you can hear me make that tone again", and it did. As i started to concentrate on this very faint tone/buzzing in my ears i could make out fluctuations in the pitch of the tone. Over a period of a few weeks i concentrated more on this tone giving it my full attention and i was eventually able to make out a "small, still voice" trying to say something. Eventually my clairaudience became so clear i could make out words and sentences this "spirit guide" was saying. At the same time as this was happening i was getting very frequent tingling rushes up my spine, almost like goose-bumps but stronger. These werent uncumfortable. There came a point when i could hear this spirit very clearly and it began to say that Mark was not my real name. It would say- "Your real name is *****"  (i dont want to give this name out at the moment, its certainly one ive never heard before). When it got to the part where it was about to say this name, its speech would become less clear so that i couldnt make out what it was saying. It also did this when i asked for Its name. This led to me sitting for over a week concentrating my full attention on what it was trying to say (note: i now realize this was a trick just to get my attention). Eventually i started to become very tired with this and the spirit in question wouldn't shut up. It also did not like me going to sleep and had me staying up late nights. One night it became quite annoyed that i was going to sleep and said "Go to sleep then!". As it spoke this i was given the impression that going to sleep and not listening to my "Spirit guide" could somehow be dangerous for me (yeah right). This is where things started to get nasty, i was fed up of listening to it and asked it to be quiet or go away while i thought things over, it wouldnt, i got frustrated and annoyed. Then it started saying things in a nasty tone such as "I dont like you anymore" (said in a very childish manner). It would comment on my thoughts also trying to make me guilty by saying things such as "I dont BELIEVE you!" (this was said as if i had thought something wrong and it was criticizing my thoughts).
Eventually (trying to keep this short) i started trying to contact people who could explain what was happening, the spirit didnt like this. It eventually started saying things like "I,m going to KILL you".
Boy oh boy i was totally caught in its bad guy/good guy routine that was designed to wear me down. I kept a journal and here are some more things it said i noticed was getting some kind of response from me;
1."Oh my God!"- said as if there was something dreadfully wrong.
2. "He doesnt know"- as if there is something wrong. (i would also feel something touch my nose at times when this was said).
3. "Dont think about anything".
4. "I'm going now"
etc.
I had visits from other spirits, some helpful, some downright evil. Like i said my story is long but that is the basics of how it started, or how i became more aware of the spiritual reality that surrounds us.

where-who: I was living alone when all this started. But i do get the impression this entity was there long before i *knew* it was. So when or where could be anyones guess really.

why(anyone mad at one): I have probably made enemies over the years. Wether or not anyone has the intent and ability to attack me in this way i am unsure. The "why" as far as this entity is concerned, i think, is that it is feeding off me.

anything magical that backfired: I knew nothing about magic when all this started really. So no.

ever seen human figures: The one thing i am lacking is clairvoyant sight, but i have seen a few things. Before  this all started (around 1996) i was awoken in the night and could feel some kind of numb feeling moving around my head. I opened my eyes and to my surprise there was a bright luminous ball of energy the size of a tennis ball floating in front of me. Out of wonder i stretched my hand out towards it to try and feel it and it floated away from me and off through the wall.
Another time, more recently, i was laying in bed in a semi-hypnagogic state (yet fully conscious) and could make out (eyes closed) some humanoid shapes walking around by my bed. I couldnt see properly and from behind closed eyelids they looked like shadows. Certainly more than one.

childhood memories: When i was a child i suffered from asthma quite badly. Sometimes at night this unusual feeling would come over me that my teeth had gone numb and were 10 times larger than they actually were. Along with this feeling i used to get an intense buzzing in my  head. I cried a lot when this happened, it wasnt a nice feeling. My parents didnt know what it was and used to say to me it was just catarr (sp?) in my head from the asthma.
The asthma disappeared in my teens, as did the buzzing/sensation.
Recently i have relived this same buzzing/sensation that used to happen to me as a child, only this time i still have no asthma, but, i sense some kind of presence that maybe causing it. Also as a child, i experienced a form of sleep-paralysis. At the time ( under 10 years old) it felt like i had fainted in bed, but could still feel my body. This generally used to happen when i had my "falling" dreams. I would dream i had fallen off a cliff and would get a dizzy feeling, i would close my eyes in the dream and either wake up paralyzed, or standing on firm ground at the bottom of the cliff.
I also remember a dream i had at the tender age of 7 where i was french kissing someone/thing. One might say that this was my first kiss (lol i have to laugh). I have had this happen more recently though and have awoken and felt something attached to my mouth with my toungue and lips tingling intensely.

Thats enough for this post methinks.

Be Well

McArthur

Hi Alchimiste
Yes i got your pm thanks. I agree that some of the activity is very like a succubus attack  i.e. the sexual dreams, but these are fairly rare now because if anything sexual happens in my dreams i tend to get suspicious and wake up. Possibly i have had (i know i have) succubus interference, but the Main Guy is something more than this IMO. I have tried using Holy Water in baths along with various herbs. This is certainly quite relaxing but it doesnt seem to shift this entrenched neg. I will take a look at what you sent me again and see if i can get the ingredients together and let you know of any results. Thanks.

Hi folks.

Nita: As i said in my pem i certainly dont mind (in fact i think i prefer) that our conversation is on the public Forums. All ideas and/or input are welcome, this is what i believe these forums are for. I have PPSD on order and am eagerly awaiting its arrival. In the meantime i will keep adding things to this thread as and when i can. Having such long term neg interference is by no means easy, i have been close to breaking point many many times, but i always seem to come up with that last bit of willpower that sees me through the very rough parts. It is my hope that this experience, even though it is a negative one, will enable me to learn how to help others with similar problems once i have my own sorted out.
A short story; i had had a really really really bad few weeks of attacks, i was drinking heavily to try and numb my system because, as i said, my sensitivity is being used against me and the alcohol, although it doesnt stop the attacks, it would numb me to the point where it didnt matter-- it was the *only* relief from the attacks i was getting at this point. I went online and decided i would play some chess at yahoo! games. I finally found someone to play me. It was a 9 year old kid from New York and he literally thrashed me. But even though i was down to just my king and he had plenty of pieces left i wouldn't give up. The kid said to me  "Do you want to concede?". I said no.
Eventually he got me in check-mate and won. I asked if he wanted another game but he said, "No im sorry i have to go take my medicine now, im not well. But you played well and never gave up. Remember that you should never ever give up on anything in life".
I cried because i *had* been close to giving up due to my attacks, then along comes this kid just at the right moment i needed to hear it. I saw God in that childs words.
This may not seem to stand out for some reading this but it certainly did for me at that time. So i did not, and will not, give up. Ever.

Lots of reading in this thread eh? lol
Anyway, heres yet another experience i have already written down. I like this one because it ends quite positively so it may lighten the mood of my posts a little

Wed. August 8th 2001

The furthest memory back i have....   long long ago, in a galaxy far away...   (sound of stereo needle being ripped across a vinyl record)...    dreaming i was talking to a young woman on Twig Street (this is the real name of a real street) near where i used to live as a kid, i was on roller skates and kind of showing off (i used to be a wiz roller skater way back when ) and i vaguely remember this girl asking me if we could meet later that night in my dream, i said yes. There is a lot more detail to this but i remember meeting her later (supposedly in my 'other' dream) and as we embraced i felt a very strong loving feeling, kind of erotic-but not (the feeling is hard to describe), we were fully clothed and just hugging each other. Something happened and i think i awoke from this dream and went back to where i first met her. She was standing by a bus stop on the same street and we embraced again, with the same semi-erotic/loving feeling as before. This time though     was different, i could feel tingling sensations where she was wrapping her self around me, where her body touched mine. I have felt this before while in bed, so somehow my mind clicked in and i became Lucid, i knew i was dreaming, i could feel our embrace. My awareness shifted to my physical body and to my surprise (or not) it felt as though someone was actually laying next to me in bed with thier arms wrapped around my waist. This wasn't exactly a physical feeling (but almost) it was more of a strong tingling sensation where this 'person' was 'hugging' me. Although the feeling was a pleasant one, my conscious mind kicked in and knew i went to bed alone (ahh memories of my mispent youth..beer....nightclubs..  oops....anyway) and i came to the conclusion it was some kind of energetic manipulation (maybe it wasn't, i don't know, but my conscious mind certainly didn't recognize this being laying next to me..ahem). The times this has happened before i have either felt paralyzed, or tried doing a pentagram, but every time so far i have awoken and sat up. This time was different, i pushed this being away while drawing a pentagram in between us with my awareness/astral hands, the tingling stopped and i felt myself floating losing bodily sensations. I then proceeded to do a LBRP, but what is unusual is that i have never done an LBRP while lucid/oob before and i could feel the energy as i did it. I remember seeing the pentagrams as i drew them in the air (and remember feeling as though i was actually using my physical arms while laying in bed), and could feel/sense/see them vibrate as i loudly pronounced the god names for each quarter (i also remember this wasn't the best LBRP i have done, i was kind of struggling to remember which god name went with which quarter-especially the hebrew one for "Iam that Iam"). As i moved from one pentagram to another i could see a line of force connecting them and remember thinking wether the first one i had done was still visible. As i thought this i was suddenly able to see all around me, and could see/feel the ritual as if watching from...  above? Im not sure. There is more to this really, but this post is getting too long already and that is basically where my memory fades.....
.....then it fades in to a country scene and i am standing upon a green hill overlooking a valley not too far below with a small river at the bottom of the hill running left-right or right-left. Right in front of me on top of this hill was the most enormous tree i have never seen, i'll try to desrcribe this as best i can. The tree had somehow fallen forward so that it was at an angle of maybe 45 degrees or less, and it was so tall i could not see the top of it (possibly going into white clouds). What was even more unusual was that it looked as though it had been worked on by people. The underside of this huge,and very wide/thick tree was still curved as normal (and moss covered) but the top part had been either worn away or worked on so that it was flat. On this part of the tree was grass and flowers growing (the grass looked cut like a lawn) and looked like it was used as some kind of pathway going up into the clouds and felt very very old. This tree path was probably wide enough for maybe 7 or 8 people to walk up it side by side it was so huge. I looked at the small valley just below the hill and could see the river flowing underneath where the tree was rising upwards and over it, and just beyond this was a roundish stone temple. I don't remember too much of the temple apart from that even though it had an ancient 'feel' to it, it looked as though it had only just been erected. I also got the impression there were ruins of an even older temple partly jutting out from the surface of the river.
 There is no way i can describe all this scene properly with words, and i get the impression that i have forgotton some things too...   but as i looked upon all this i was so overcome with the absolute beauty of it that i fell to my knees and wept...and wept. The emotion i felt is really hard to describe but i guess the closest i am going to get is by saying they were tears of the most amazing joy i have ever felt...    it was so real, so vivid, the emotions very very strong, beauty, loving, joyous....it felt like i was "In Love" with what i saw....  and then i woke up and im now trying to put it into words, although i feel i should paint it if i could paint.

Here is another experience i had during a trance sessions. Note: i no longer believe this had anything to do with kundalini.

Kristen, i want to comment on some of the things you mentioned as soon as i get chance. Could you describe in more detail about the sensations you get inside you head? I know of someone else who is experiencing something similar regarding energy movement inside the skull.
I will also say that i am leaving no avenue unturned, i have had a CAT scan and an EEG test which i am awaiting the results for.

I will also mention here that i am extremely sensitive to energy and that i am clairaudient and clairsentient. This means i am more aware of any changes in energy around me, including the presence of entities. For instance; i occasionaly get a short sharp tone in my Inner ear which, through experience i am fairly sure, alerts me to the fact that some kind of spirit or entity has projected nearby. This leads me to believe there is more than one entity, possibly a drone that is attached and its Master comes to feed when needed. This, i believe, explains why sometimes are far worse than others. Maybe the "tone" i hear is me percieving the extra influx of energy Clairaudiently as the other, darker entity, arrives..
Unfortunatley though i am not in full control of my abilities at present and my sensitivity is being used against me by this neg as a weakness. It is almost as if i have opened some kind of Inner Door to the Astral, and it has been left open, leaving me vulnerable to any passing feeder types. I could be wrong of course but this is something i feel intuitively.

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7th Jan 2001 00:52
I have just got out of the shower after a trance meditation. I did some energy work and it was mind blowing. I sort of just went with intuition as to what i was doing, built a cone of light above and below me so i was encased in it, then was sending waves of light/energy all around the contours of my body, at one point i was spiraling a line of energy up and down my body (cross legged), imagining any attachments being dissolved and cut away. Also remember being inside a blue flame. Then i started vibrating Om.. it just felt right.. but i was doing it from low to high pitch... the tone sounded VERY loud and was vibrating all around me. After a while i said prayers in trance asking the Great White Brotherhood for assistance and guidance etc. Then i tried to exit my body.. got the tingling body and throbbing heart chakra at one point... i opened all my chakras and energy flooding my room and all around me.. i tranced deeper.... i stopped trying to exit and just floated in mind... at this point i could feel something tugging at the inside of my brain. Well its not my brain.. but feels like inside my skull.. it was as if either myself, or someone/thing, was slowly moving the whole inside of my skull (like a ball of energy inside it) up and down... my head was slightly heavy. This felt like going from my throat through roof of mouth to core of brain... wiggling up and down slowly. There was something watching me and either asked, or noticed, that i could actually feel this movement inside me. My brow chakra and crown chakra were very active... slight pressure on brow and top of nose. As i write this i still have a sensation inside my head and crown chakra... feels a little heavy/throbbing..... i just got an impression... a thought..... from me, or something... i just saw a Lotus bud moving from below the surface of water and emerging above. But at the same time i just saw this, i re-lived the inner sensation i just mentioned.. up throat to centre of head etc. I kind of saw both things at the same time as though the lotus bud was inside my throat/head and the surface of the water was above my crown chakra. Have to forgive me but i'm still a little spaced from the trance, even after a shower.
one cigarrette later.
Now i cant decide wether this numb-dull-heavy feeling in the core of my head is Kundalini or something else moving there. It's not painful, only slightly uncomfortable... the whole top of my head and deep inside it too is kinda numb. Thinking back now to my trance 30 minutes ago... it did feel as though something was trying to move up my throat and out the top of my head.... after i had re-surfaced and opened my eyes... i sat there staring into the mirror.. everything took on a ... blurry vision type look as i sat staring at my brow chakra in the mirror.. still in semi trance.. my eyes wide open my vision was going blurry and surreal (although i could have stopped this if i re-focused) and like invisible whispy smoke(almost liquid like) running/moving over my eyes(retina).
Went for shower and my t-shirt was soaked with sweat (its winter here).
Wow, hope this isnt too long, i'm kinda auto writing as if remembering a dream. Oh, when i was in trance, i was using awareness hands that Rob Bruce mentions in NEW(like astral hands) to brush up and down my spine (like brushing cobwebs(any attachments) off me) and i also kind of did this inside my skull too(i think i did inside skull -thinking of my mind and cleaning any attachments that may be in my personal inner meta-space.. hmmm), and sealed the inside with a circled pentagram, just managed to remember that part.


Pax

McArthur

Hi folks,
            My story of neg attacks is a pretty long one, so long i could write a book someday maybe (now theres a thought). I havent got much time right now (ill try to add as much info to this thread as i can, maybe more later today) but i thought i would paste some entries from my journal to be going on with (some of these i posted at the old forum, but i guess it would be better to have it all in one thread).
I have left the entries exactly as i wrote them for now. I may have more to add or comment on them later;

Hi All,

This is a really long post, and one i nearly didnt make. I hope you at least find it interesting, any thoughts or comments would be apreciated.

After writing the below experience of my dream and waking up(27 Jan 2001 14:12 GMT) , i spent the rest of the afternoon contemplating various things and whatever the experience was/is i don't really get a sense of evilness about it. I guess because i dont fully understand it, my 'little mind' had an automatic response of subconscious fear ( i was calm on the surface). This is a lesson not to jump to conclusions before having all the facts i guess. But i have still left the Journal entry as i wrote it originally.
While sitting and contemplating afterwards i wondered if i should post my experience because it could seem scary or negative to others. Then the following happened.
After a while I entered a kind of Lucid Daydream , and although my eyes were open, my surroundings vanished and i sort of entered a meditative state where i was seeing pictures of me travelling abroad on a motorbike. I was travelling to India, a place that is very dear to my heart. I went through Europe and eventually came across a roadblock in Afghanistan (i think). There were armed muslims and they were talking amongst themselves in Arabic. They were wondering if i was American, and i asked them in fluent Arabic (i dont know any arabic) "am i not your brother because i have white skin?". They were shocked that i could speak Arabic. Various other things happened and they let me pass and eventually reached India.
Along the way i would stop in small villages for a while giving healing to those that needed it, at one point i remember becoming one with (or something similar) the village Lingham and telling them that if any of them became sick they were to pour water over the lingham and drink the water. Finally i arrived at Sai Baba's Ashram and sat with all the other devotees (i'm not especially a Sai devotee, but i know of him). Sai was sat in his seat and as i looked at him he smiled and asked me (telepathically)
"What took you so long?"
I smiled back and said telepathically, "why ask questions you already know answers to?"
He walked down the aisle and motioned for me to stand, as i did so, both me and Sai bowed to each other and said "Sai ram" (an explanation of what 'Sai ram' means is below). We both laughed.
I then held out my hands and a flash of white light produced a small mirror in my hands (after all, i had travelled a long way, surely i should bring a present?).
I gave the mirror to Sai and he looked into it. The reflection he saw was of me, he laughed with a big smile. This ended with me seeing the mirror on the wall of Sai's ashram with people walking up to it. A sign below it said "Know Thyself". Sai devotees saw thier reflection as Sai, Krishna devotees saw Krishna, Christians saw Jesus, Buddhists saw Buddha, and on it went.
As i came back to my normal(?) state from the Stream, and my eyes began to see my room again, i noticed my heart chakra was extremely active and a feeling of blissfulness and love was all around me.
Whatever you read into the above and below i cant say, i just wanted to add something that touched me deeply today, and i am as yet unsure of what the below experience means, either way i have certainly gained from today in a positive way.

The below quote is taken from the following website
Sai Ram <http://members.nbci.com/Bongaru/> that i haven't been to in a long time. If you read the main page you may see similarities in my above daydream. I myself have only just noticed this as i was looking through it.

"SAI RAM means to those who employ it without habit is more layered than that. Devotees use it to signify that from one's deepest and sweetest truth, the speaker literally recognizes The Lord GOD in the heart of the greeted, and so offers welcome with Love."

Questions and Answers <http://www.astro.uni.torun.pl/~kb/quest.html>

27 Jan 2001 14:12 GMT

Got up 5 minutes ago and i seem to be getting closer as to what is actually going on. I know i was dreaming for quite a while, but i have concentrated my mind on those last few minutes because of what happened as i awoke.
I was dreaming(?) that i was with a group of people but one woman i apparently knew wasnt there , i was told telepathically that she was ill so i (what is "I"?) decided to go visit her. I dont remember every detail but i remember seeing her in bed and thinking she looked very very ill indeed. She was wearing dark glasses to cover her eyes, her face was thin and white, i percieved some dark patches on her body somewhere. I was given (who by?) the impression that i knew her well and could feel a sense of love towards her. I suddenly realised what a powerful healer i was and went to work on her- there was some kind of exchange between us telepathically that i cant remember.. pictures in my mind of her looking very different- healthy- almost like past memories. As i was doing hands on healing, i reached a certain part and my hands started to tingle intensely (ever seen the film "The Blob"? i've only seen the old version years ago, but this just flashed in my mind as i write, it was as if the tingling started at my fingers and worked its way up my arm).
Now while i was dreaming this, i remembered this exact sensation from when i had an entity stuck to my leg about 3 years ago and my whole leg was tingling in the same way ( see below). The thought i had in the dream(?) was that i had drawn 'something' out of her that was killing her, and it was now on my arm (the entity). I quickly went to a tap and washed it off my arm with water...at least i think it went..... i then went back and she looked better. She had another woman there who i didnt recognize and then it goes fuzzy... this other womans past. I saw her on stage singing, and there was some kind of running commentary in the background about her as i watched this vision warp from the US to Europe (like following her on tour), showing me the places this 'other' woman had been a famous pop star. I then recieved information telepathically that she got tired of fame and wrote songs for other famous artists instead... then the dream came back to her being a maid for this woman i had (apparently) been healing. All the images regarding the 'other woman' i just described seemed like it was sent to me either all at once, or extremely quickly, like maybe 1 second or so.
Then it blacked out for a nano-second and was as if i awoke laying in bed next to the woman i had been healing. I was laying on my right side and she was laying behind me, i could hear and feel (sensed it is a better term) her breathing, the mattress moving as she moved slightly.
THEN I WOKE UP! i still had my eyes closed but i became fully conscious, as i started to recall my dream i realised i was laying on my right side, and i could feel my mattress moving behind me as in the dream (this has happened before where i have woken in this state and lay there feeling my mattress moving)
I immediately realised that my mattress should not be moving because i live alone, remembered the past times this had happened, and i wanted to know what it was (all this happened VERY quick). Just as i finished thinking that, i was about to turn when i felt 'it' move very quickly (for some reason i got the impression it was slightly asleep or something, not sure why, but as soon as it realised i was coming to waking consciousness it moved VERY quickly), i felt the mattress move. Now this has happened before where i had turned real fast and hit that area of the mattress trying to send it on its way, but i had just hit empty mattress and i could no longer feel it there, i think i now know why!
This time, i didnt get chance to move, i felt it climb over me-- this was a really strange experience and it happened very fast... it was as if i was being covered in something invisible and everything went totally quiet, i felt my mouth move as i said "Get the f*** off me" but nothing came out, no sound, nothing..... as i recall this, it all seemed like slow motion, but i know it must have taken only a second to happen. The only way i can describe this is as if i was under water, as if the water had flowed over me blocking all sound for a second.
Then everything became normal(?) and i opened my eyes, i closed them again (i dream recall better this way) to search as fast as i could for as much memory of this as possible. I remembered the part where my hands were tingling in the dream and realised that my hands felt a little numb, and rememered that on quite a few occasions i had woken with my hands tingling. Somehow i knew that the part of the dream with my hands tingling wasnt just a dream, it had been a physical/energetic sensation that maybe filtered into my dream.... and i get the impression that something was attached to my hands at that time.
The experience when i awoke, feeling it climb over me.... or into me... its still there, it is the entity (or 'whatever') that has been around me for quite some time now, i'm fairly sure.
The ending of my dream seems like it was very rushed and i get the impression that while i was in deep sleep or dreaming it was by my body waiting for me to return (to 'normal' consciousness?). I also get the feeling that the times i have felt it moving in my bed are the times it hasnt jumped into/onto me quick enough. This time, not only did i wake "too soon" (hence the rushed dream) but i actually realised where it disappears to after i have sensed it in my bed next to me. No wait, i have not only realised, i actually EXPERIENCED what happens, it doesnt disappear at all, it somehow surrounds me/envelopes me and hides itself inside/on me. During the slow motion part where i tried to say "Get the f*** off me", that was ME, the person writing this down is me too, but i feel different from the previous me somehow.... this is getting very very strange indeed. I'm not scared at all, in fact i'm glad, because i know i just experienced something i wasnt supposed to (or maybe i was?), even though i can sense it right now trying to attract my attention (buzzing in my ears), my feet tingling, the occasional muscle twitch in my leg (righ for yes, left for no), even though i know it is feeding off me in some way, at least i now know a little bit more about it and what it does during my sleep.
It thinks this body belongs to it, it has even said so in the past come to think of it, when it was attached to my left leg and my leg was tingling like in the above dream, it said to me "This is MY body", i told it back then and i told it today, "Nope, this is MY body". Or is it?
(Note: When i had an entity atached to my left leg from knee downwards, my left leg was *twice* (at least) the weight of my right leg. So much so that for the 2 days this lasted, i had to drag my left leg hardly able to lift it. How can something invisible have weight?)
I remember another time when i went to the spiritualist church for help, it had said to me then "They can't help you, the only way you will get rid of me is by dying". Of course, i'm not giving in THAT easily!
I am getting realisations now about what i have percieved as past attacks-- there have been times where i have been fighting for my sanity-- it cant control me as such, but there have been times when i have had sudden anxiety/panic attacks or bouts of fear for no reason whatsoever. I can even remember one occasion not long ago where i was literally in some kind of shock, trembling, feeling very cold etc and remember saying to myself "This is irrational" because i couldn't think of any reason why i should be feeling like that. Maybe its this thing, this "Blob", maybe it is somehow triggering these attacks for its own purposes.
It knows i am strong, its even had the audacity to tell me so on a number of occasions-- i feel like i'm in some kind of sci-fi movie being watched by an alien, prodded and poked in all various kinds of ways, and it is recording my responses-- it is learning from me! It IS learning from me! and studying me like i am some kind of lab animal! But then, i am also studying IT too!
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16 February 2001 23:23pm GMT

Well, now things have settled down some(*see star below) i can make an entry for today.
Where to start...
Ok, i woke up in bed and was trying to remember my dreams, unfortunately i dont have total recall of last nights dreams due to what happened as i awoke. I rolled over in bed to get comfy and try to do dream recall, as i was doing so "The Presence" made itself known again. I say "made itself known", when actually that isn't what happened. After 4 years of psychic attacks with varying intensities i have become sort of used to it being there, and as i became fully conscious i did something i am desperately trying not to-- i wondered if "IT" was there. Sure enough ,it let me know it was. You see, some good advice i know i should be using is "don't send any attention it's way", i should be training my mind to forget it is there, stop myself from thinking about it, erase any memory of it, ANYTHING but think about "IT".
That may sound easy to you, the reader, but unfortunately it's not in my case. As i thought this through while still in bed, i thought to myself - "excrement, i shouldn't have thought about it". Then i thought, "I am being 'conditioned' to think about it, some kind of 'mind control' ". As i thought this, i felt/heard/sensed "The Presence" laugh its evil little laugh and affirm that my thought was correct. 'IT' basically said (not said, but mind to mind) that, yes, it had managed to gain my 'attention' even as i awoke.
Before i say what happened next, maybe i should say some more about this. I have been under intense psychic/mind attacks for some time now, and i REALLY look forward to my sleep because its the main time my conscious mind gets rest from this evil bastard. I have tried many many psychic self defenses and nothing seems to work, to say this is frustrating would be a HUGE understatement. It has also somehow managed to attach itself to me, which gives it the ability to know EVERYTHING i ever think of, everything i know, "IT" knows. Can you imagine trying to fight an enemy who knows your every thought? It knows what i am going to do before i even do it, thoughts are that fast. I can't hit it or punch it, i have yet to find any effective defense or attack method that will hurt it. But it can hurt me. It's almost like i am in a cage, being prodded and poked, mentally and psychically, with no idea of how to fight back. Maybe you, the reader, will get an idea of what kind of 'entity' i am up against now.
Anyway, back to me laying in bed.
As i sensed it laughing, something snapped deep inside me, and what follows happened VERY quickly. What i did, was so fast, "I" didn't even know i was going to do it, and therefore, niether did "IT". It was almost like i was an animal in the clutches of some kind of Predator, and i responded with some primal instinct without even thinking why/what or how i was doing it.
What did i do? Good question, and i'm not quite sure i have the answer, but i'll try to put in words what i experienced. What follows happened within the space of about 5 seconds.
Like i said, i felt something snap deep inside me, i was frustrated, i wanted to be able to fight back, and a deep cold anger from 4 years of attacks rumbled at the core of my being. I felt a deep powerful energy collect within me, like a miniature sun. This 'force' became stronger and more intense, almost like an orgasm but without the euphoric effect-- then it exploded within me and i became this 'force' and i felt it flash/rage from my very core and envelope my whole body.
This is really hard to describe, but i'll try with what words i can.
I dont like comparing myself to an electric eel, but it will have to do, because this is sort of what it felt like. Imagine you are deep sea diving and you grab an electric eel with your bare hands (i have never done this) the eel then sends a shock of energy through its body which makes you immediately let go of it.
That is a very rough analogy, but i was the eel and "The Presence" was grabbing me. It was as if some strong 'force' had come from within me and my entire body flashed like a camera's flash gun.
When this happened i felt my whole body go numb and i sort of became paralyzed for a second or two. While i was paralyzed, i felt "the presence" had lost its grip on me slightly, i could feel movement at my feet and around my body as it tried to get its tentacles back around me. I desperately tried to move, i knew/felt i had stunned it, but i couldn't move. I heard myself say "Bastard!" even though my body was motionless, almost like seeing myself in "freeze frame". Then i experienced what i have written about before (see my "Some Unusual Experiences" post) for the second time. Felt it wrap itself back around me and over/into me. And then everthing stopped, i was able to move again, it had grabbed onto me once more with its Octopuss like tentacles and i opened my eyes.
Like i said, that all happened within a few seconds. The first time i experienced it wash over, and wrap around me only lasted about a second. This time, i managed to open the time window a little longer to about 5 seconds. Not long enough to evade its re-attachment, but long enough to know i had done something that made it lose its grip on me.
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