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A non-christian scared of going to hell for not being a christian? You're buying into a religion you dont beleive in!

You wont go to "hell" unless you beleive you will. You've got to get the idea out of your head. The only people that go to hell-like places are those who beleive they will, those who beleive they deserve to and those who are so evil they gravitate towards other similar people.

Everyone dies at some point, what difference does it really make if it's in 2012 or 2100? Have you tried astral projection? It might assuade some of your fears about death. I'm excited about the possibility of change in 2012 - whether it kills me or not.

I really dont get why you would kill yourself now to avoid dying next year.

Before I'd ever projected I listened to a bwgen preset called Tommi's Vibration Starter. After listening to it I tried to project and got to the vibration stage.

I'm enjoying reading your journal but whats with the lack of paragraphs?

Seriously though, maybe her first language isnt english and she means cheater. Like she wants to forget someone who cheated on her.

So I'm talking to my dad last night and telling him some traditional astral dynamics style obe techniques. He has his eyes closed imagining them and then when he opens them he says that he had started to see stuff. Needless to say I was surprised because they were'nt phasing techniques.

So I put on the Dimensional Pineal Attunement track off Tom Kenyon's Assension Codes CD because he said he'd seen some shapes the last I had it on. So he closes his eyes and sarts concentrating. Before long I could tell he was seeing stuff by his facial expressions. He wasnt even lying down and was even rubbing his hands together at times.

By the time the track stopped he was sitting fairly still with his head down. He stayed like that for a few moments then looked up at me. He described moving through the hynagogic stage and then full scenes appearing before him as if he was watching them through a camera that was panning across a landscape.

The track isnt even 6 minutes long! And he wasnt doing any techniques. Just letting it happen.

So I made him a longer version where it loops before I left last night.

Turns out he gets this thing when he's really tired and trying to stay awake listening to someone where he'll pop straight into a dream while standing up. He doesnt realise it's a dream and often knocks things over because he can still move a bit.

I'm seriously jelous of how easilly this comes to him. The track doesnt help me in phasing at all although I must say I can achieve some very profound states while listening to many of the tracks on his CD's.

For anyone curious, the file I mentioned is available for free in a demo on his website.
http://tomkenyon.com/sound-gifts

The face you have when out of body isnt a real face with nerve endings and stuff. The cat wasnt a real cat with real claws. At some level you realised that the cat couldnt do any damage to you so you didnt feel pain. Thats the way I see it anyway.

When I get attacked(usually choked) by negs that I've unwittingly created I dont feel any real pain or fear. Just, "damn I've created another neg thats choking me. Oh well I better wake myself up now 'cause it feels like my body's stopped breathing."

I have once that I can recall though been attacked by something that I sure as hell didnt create. That hurt like hell.

The N.E.W techniques will definately get easier if you keep at it. It took me months to get rid of all my blockages.

Specially that thing you said about the meditations of the book you read, can you be more specific in which meditations you did and how often it's necessary?

It was ages ago and all I remember is sitting down and reading for an hour or two and then meditating on all the things that arent actually me. The theory is that by stripping away all the things that arent actually part of you, you get left with a realisation of the actual you behind it all.

Like you think of yourself as being dead and looking at your dead body. If you can still see your body after it's dead then you cant be your body. It's more involved than that but thats the basic idea. If you can take something away and still be, then its not part of you.

On my first sitting, I read for a bit, meditated on it and then had a nap. When I woke up I had a profound realisation of my self. I could now keep my mind silent without any effort at all.

Just have a read at the book and see if it resonates with you. It might not, everyone's path is different.

As for feeling and processing the emotions. I dont know if the way I'm trying to deal with my emotional problems will work for you. Hell, I dont even know if they'll work for me. I'm trying to find the roots of my problems burried in the past but you seem to still be living the same problems with the same people.

Have you considered moving away to somewhere else for a few years? Abroad even? I reckon if you can get away from the abusive people then you stand a better chance of being able to heal. You say its the best job you can get just now but is it the best life you could be having? Money isnt always the most important thing.

Try closing your eyes and see if you can move freely. If it works then move away from your body till your sight returns.

When I wake up in sp I have to close my eyes to get away from my body. It's all there is to my exit technique.

I once became lucid in an american style mall. I found a entrance there into to some cave like passageways that led to a place I think was called the temple of the running monkey(might have been cunning or something else ending in unning).

There was a big stone thing in the middle of the temple that transported me to a planet that was covered in trees as far as I could see. I couldnt fly there but gravity was really low and I was like running/bouncing across the tree tops down the side of a mountain. I'd love to go back there.

EDIT: I just remembered. I found another temple on the tree planet that took me somewhere else. That might have been the temple that had the name I mentioned. I cant believe I didnt write this all down at the time.

Hi, I'm Summerlander! I'm a mod in Astral Viewers. I think I've been to this island. I think I also saw Frank Kepple there building things. My experience is on AVers.

A link for anyone else who's curious.
http://astralviewers.com/obeap-experiences/visit-astral-pulse-island-our-meeting-point/msg45684/?PHPSESSID=970a873b32e6a7c88322e70e1649e0b7#msg45684

It's one massive paragraph but an interesting read.

When I'm fully lucid in a dream the other people rarely respond at all when spoken to.

I've spoken to astral inhabitants that didnt speak back but I got the impression that they were trying to communicate on some level that I just wasnt able to pick up on.

When partially lucid in who-knows-where I often find myself trying to make other people lucid, telling them they are dreaming. I try to show them they can fly. I often find myself flying around leading someone I know by the hand showing them round.

By partially lucid I mean I'm aware of the fact I'm in the non-physical and that I can fly etc, but I dont question anything and I'm still missing that part of my waking awareness that holds my objectives, and spiritual goals.

Congrats on the first conscious projection.

Awesome link!

I've been on that site before and never realised they had so many books there.

Thanks.

I'll give it a try.

That's reminded me of something I used to do when I was a young kid. I used to push the flat part of my thumbs against my eyes with a fair bit of pressure. I would see yellow lines moving about that would start to resolve into geometric shapes. It was like I was moving forwards through the lines and the further I went the more they would become like images. I could never get too far though without getting freaked out and quitting because it felt like I was getting sucked into somewhere else.

I've tried it again as an adult but it didnt seem to be working and I didnt want to keep that kind of pressure on my eyes for too long.

I just got an idea of creating a 3D version of API, something like a game. I have a good command on 3dsMax to create realistic models and know enough programming to put it into an open source 3D engine like Irrlicht. So we will have a game (just like Secondlife) where we can put stuff that is there on real(?) API, so that you can walk around the virtual API and train your mind to do it while in Astral. Much better than a photoshopped picture you have now.
I'd like to know if you or anyone else here is interested in this....

I thought about making an API with Hammer editor but I decided against it since I only kind of know what the front of it looks like.

I figured it would be easier to try and create an astral version of a game environment that I already know inside out. I used to try and phase into the de_dust and dust2 maps from counter-strike source. There are so many people out there who know those maps intimately that it might be relatively easy for us to make an astral version if enough of us got together.

I'd say the fish tank represents physical reality. It's a limited copy of the outer, unlimited, environment that its floating in. You're trying to break free.

I assume you've been wanting to project lately? The dream seems like a metaphor for that.

I'd say only you are likely to figure out what something as specific as a whale means. It may well represent an aspect of yourself.

A while back I read LaBerge's book, "Exploring The World Of Lucid Dreaming".

I cant remeber what things I know came from there and what came from other sources but I remember thinking it was a decent book and being impressed by the scientific aproach he took.

I just had an idea, how immoral do you think it would be?

Sell a device that claims to energise your astral body or some such science fiction and give a 3 month money back gaurantee that you will be able to project with it. Half the people would manage to project within the period and maybe half of those would then keep the thing thinking that it worked.

Would it be terrible to sell a placebo with a money back gurantee? No one would need to keep the thing if they didnt want to.

I should say, it's not something I'm actually going to do.

I almost feel bad just for thinking of it.

I regularly work on my chakra's while watching the tv or reading books. As long as you can stay still you'll be ok. The tv keeps the restless part of your mind busy and the rest of you can focus on the practice.

Just hold part of your awareness on a chakra till you start getting strong sensations. Once you're getting sensations just stay on that chakra till your intuition tells you to move on to the next one. Dont just focus on the front either. Try holding your attention on the spine in the area's of the chakra.

Another meditation I like to do when watching the tv is an ida pingala rotation. When you breath in move energy up the left side of your body in a curve from your base chakra to the middle of your head. Then when you breath out move the energy in a curve down the right side of your body from your head to your base chakra. When I say curves I mean two channels that when beside each other would look like this ().

After ten minutes or so reverse it so you go up the right and down the left.

lol I cant believe I didnt think of that. There are advertisments on the telly for them all the time.

I can think of just the one I want now. It looks like it should be refillable with alternate scents without too much trouble.

Thanks.

I've noticed a few times that physical smells can work their way into my dreams. I sleep with the window open and a couple of times the wind must have changed or something and a horrible rotten smell has come through from the waste management centre around the corner. I've experienced the smell in my dream and upon waking have realised where it was coming from.

I was thinking if you could make some sort of device that would emit a smell after you had been sleeping for a while you could resolve that the next time you smelled it you would become lucid. I was thinking if you used a strong scent that you never encounter in your life it might stand a decent chance of working. You would only associate that smell with the desire to lucid dream.

I'm looking for any ideas of how to generate the smell.

So far I've thought of making a candle where only the bottom of it is scented. Seems like too much work for something that would only work once though.

The other thought I've had is putting some sort of essential oil in a capsule and then freezing it inside an ice cube. Put it in a cup on top of a heater, go back to sleep, and then once the ice has melted the capsule should melt and give off the smell.

Would be fiddley getting the capsule to freeze right in the middle of the ice cube though.

At the moment I'm favouring the ice cube method but I thought I'd see if any one had some better ideas. Ideally you would be able to easily control when the smell was emited.

Any ideas?

I keep telling myself that next time I will be braver, and confront them, and then try to send positive light energy and PUL their way - but my fear always overcomes me every time, because in the heat of the moment my instincts are to flee or be hurt, and I'm scared of the pain and the possibility of dying and being stuck there with them

I havent read your other posts and dont know the nature of your schizoprenia so excuse me if I'm way off.

Is there any chance this could be a metaphor for some of your mental problems? The negative entities being aspects of your mind/personality that you're so scared of you run from them and dont accept them as parts of yourself. Being left on their own, the thought patterns behaving in their own way as seperate entities without the love in your heart to guide them and put them in context.

I dont know of any way for you to stop your projections but I'll mull it over and see if I can come up with anything. I feel for you, I was on antispsychotics for a while and it was terrifying.

On a side note, if I was as scared as you seem to be about where I would end up when I die, I'd go on the hemi-sync courses and try and get to know some people from the Lifeline course. If you know people irl who regularly conduct retrievals it might put your mind at rest to know that they could come and find you when you die.

Thanks for the link. I hadnt read that. The book doesnt go into as much detail on that subject.

I'm not so scared by others warnings anymore. I just follow my intuition.

I don't struggle to project, but I have lost the desire to do so.  I don't know how long this is going to last, but lately I just don't feel like trying.

That describes my feeling exactly!

I try and put myself in the trance state and I cant because my hearts just not in it. It's like I think I should want to, so I try every now and again but I just cant set my intention. The will just isnt there. And I'm not even frustrated by it like I normally would be.

I've noticed that when I got to a certain age I stopped consciously feeling these upsetting emotions and developed behavioural coping mechanisms that repressed them.

Hum... what you mean by that? Or, how you do that exactly ?

I dont know. I was emotionally messed up when I was young(i didnt realise this until recently), and then I went through a period where I wasnt but my behaviour was messed up. Instead of feeling distress I was putting it onto other people. Then I went full circle. I was bullied, I was a bully, I was bullied. Bullying isnt really the problem with me though. Its the underlying emotions relating to not fitting in. It was present before any real bullying. I've got another big issue but I wont mention it here.

I've spent years of my life hidden away avoiding people. I still do in essence but I'm not as bad as when I was smoking weed.

Not too long ago I went through a period where I was forcing myself to do things I needed to do and not allowing my self to be scared off. It was going really well and I thought I was on the road to full recovery but then something happened(not fitting in in a big way) and there was some conflict and I had a bad panic attack.

I worry about the same thing happening again - it's a distinct possibility. I'm stuck in a very specific situation in prison though.

Have you tried CBT? My probation officer wants me to do it when I get out.

Look for messages and lessons to be learned from any nightmares you have about this stuff. You subconscious or higher self or whatever tries to get you over this stuff using dreams.

I know where you're coming from with seeing people argue. I have to hold back tears when I see agressive conflict.

Strangely perhaps I'm not as bothered about my problems as I used to be. I see my troubled past as having been necessary to get me to where I am just now. I believe I chose to be born into this life. I'm starting to realise a lot about my true higher self and my waking state of consciousness has changed dramatically over the last six months. The meditations in  this book got me started.

The other thing that helped a lot was sorting my chakra's out and getting rid of all my energy blockages. The book "New Energy Ways" got me started with that.

I'd say I'm at least 10 times better than I used to be.

Havent tried it but I'll give it a go.

On my last home leave I tried B12 on the reccomendation of omcasey. It did seem to work but it might have been the placebo effect. I'm back home with access to B12 again so I'm about to try it again.

She reports a big difference in lucidity but she's getting it from raw milk which is full of so much other stuff that it could be something else entirely causing it.

- Just checked. Raw milk is full of choline and pasteurised isnt. Going to go to the health shop tommorow and get some choline. I'm a lacto-vegetarian(no meat fish or egg) so I'll be deficient in a lot things. Even if it doesnt aid lucidity my body will probably still be happy for it. I just wish you could buy raw milk here(it's illegal in Scotland).