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you don't have to believe it but the flash of light was followed by the name raphael. the colors left behind matched the description i found online of archangel raphael. when i read of his attributes i started crying.

Aw! That's great that you had this really lovely experience. I'm glad you connected with "archangel energy", whatever that may be, it sounds like you really got some help there. Goodness knows that at times when I was really scared and in a NP "bind" I've tried similar strategies (like asking for "God" to help) and...nada, zippo, zilch, zero. I think whatever entities were troubling me at the time outright laughed at me for thinking that might do me any good! Phooey.

Just simply closing my eyes now can cause vertigo, nausea, ears ringing, body trembling, all sorts of things. To me though, it has become the "new normal". Talking about lasting effects.

DUDE. I'm so sorry. What does your neurologist say about these symptoms? Losing your balance by simply closing your eyes is absolutely a neuro issue.

I don't know what a Light/Sound machine but that sounds rouuugh =(

thank you, all!

Tides: forgot to say dizziness, too! Yes there was a sensation of dizziness thrown in there, along with the ear ringing, pressure, body warmth and wave of nausea. When you say you once prayed for help and got it, what was the help that you wound up getting? Just curious.

EV: Definitely felt like getting caught in borderline gutter crap! Like neither Here nor There, just he worst of both #FunnyNotFunny

Lumaza: I do wonder sometimes about what it means to say we're all "physically safe" no matter what happens in NP. Nausea, dizziness, ear pain/ringing - these are all actual, physical effects on my physical body. Sure, there may not be any permanent damage, but it does seem to me like sometimes something from the NP can actually affect our physical bodies (to at least some degree) - beyond just, wow, I feel really drained after I get back from an NP experience - so seems something worth keeping in mind. I'm guessing there's no horror stories out there of anyone actually incurring real, lasting harm from an NP experience (??), but at least some impact (potentially if not fleetingly negative) can happen.

Well I had an exhausting morning.

I was so tired I just wanted to sleep, but I wound up getting stuck for multiple hours in what I can only call a "hallucinatory hell". I was not simply trapped in a series of bad dreams, and I was also not out of body (I'm pretty sure--I even TRIED repeatedly to get fully "out" hoping that would make the madness stop, but I couldn't). It was akin to an in-between state, where I had some degree of consciousness, but no will. That is, I wasn't really able to "do" anything. It was pretty terrible, and I kept forcing myself awake, but I was so tired it was like undertow, I kept being pulled back under. Just couldn't keep my eyes open.

A couple strange things happened. At one point (when I was really just trying to fall asleep and trying not to get trapped in another scary in-between hallucinatory state) I noticed I was hearing what sounded like other voices, people talking. I thought, well, let's try an experiment. I'm pretty visual and never get any "psychic" information in a auditory fashion, but at this particular moment I wasn't having hypnagogic imagery so much as I was hearing a conversation. I decided to try "tuning in", or rather "listening in", to someone here on earth. I started to concentrate and used my intention to see if I could "tap in" in an auditory way. I started hearing a pronounced ringing in my ear, particularly my right ear, and feeling pressure build in my head/ear. Then I felt hot, like I got a hotflash, and a wave of nausea passed over me. It was AWFUL. I became concerned that whatever I did might have done some kind of damage!

Later, struggling again to just get some sleep and make the hallucinatory hell stop (because all that was continuing), I forced myself to open my eyes (I was dealing with a small degree of paralysis). I got my eyes open and...saw something in my room. There was a floating little purple haze, like a gaseous cloud, glistening a bit, hovering in front of my shade. I was like...my eyes are friggin OPEN and I'm still SEEING THINGS?! It was as if some degree of "non-ordinary sensing" was operative at the same time my eyes were open. Opening my eyes didn't snap it off. At this point I was so exhausted I could barely keep my eyes open, so I wasn't able to try to engage with it, communicate, etc., I just mentally sent out LEAVE ME ALONE! EVERYBODY GO AWAY! EVERYBODY LEAVE I NEED TO SLEEP! because I was getting the sense there were other "things" around.


Anyone ever experience anything like this? Especially if you felt had a nausea spell after concentrating very hard trying to make something psychic happen, or still "seeing things" with your eyes open. I dunno, maybe a literal hallucination. It was all pretty upsetting.

EV, interesting. I read Monroe's first (I think??) book, Journeys Out Of The Body, right when I was starting to project. I don't remember anything offhand about cloaked/hooded figures so I'll have to re-read it!! Maybe he talked more about them in the other of his books you mentioned, which I don't have yet. Will be interesting to re-read and see if anything jumps out at me, since it's been almost a year since I read it and started this journey.

Thanks, guys!

Lumaza: I think your interpretation of the symbolism makes sense. Especially with the helper taking out the trash - that one seems kinda heavy-handed, but I do need a little help figuring out what the hell they're trying to tell me, so... =) There are certainly some things that need to be "cleaned out" as it were - and maybe that's why the hooded figure said it was time to shut down the basement, like, hey, let's move on from all that, shall we? So that makes intuitive sense to me.

EV: there are definitely times when I feel like I'm "drunk" or otherwise in a lowered awareness fog (good to know what that might be about!) but I don't think that was this time. Is there some writing (either here or elsewhere) that discusses the common appearance of a hooded/cloaked figure in APs? Now that I've seen one I'd like to read about it a bit.

There do seem to be some common areas where I have felt pain. The first time, when I was basically electrocuted, the "device" was put on the right side of my face/head. But the feeling of pain was my ankles (both of them). Tops of feet, ankles, tops of hands, underside of wrists - these areas seem to be targeted more. And now right side abdomen. So, usually on both sides of body at once (i.e., both wrists, both ankles). But, this time the figure was standing to my right, so his hand touched my right side. Maybe that's why the pain this time was not bilateral on this occasion.

Whenever I have asked for clarification about the pain stuff, they don't give it to me. Am I asking the question wrong? Is there some way of phrasing the question that would be more likely to actually get me an answer?

22 March 2021

Out of body experience - astral projection - lucid dream

I don't remember this being a projection from a dream; it seemed like I was more awake - at least, I *thought* I was awake. I felt like I was in the right state, and stretched my arms up and out, feeling myself float upwards. Said my usual, Take me where I need to go, tell me what I need to know. Finally felt myself start to move, feeling some strong momentum/pressure.

Moving along, some glimpses of imagery, then see what appears to be an opened door, and a woman standing on the other side of it. She seemed really excited to see me, and indicated she had seen me before. Said she was waiting 24hrs/day till I came back.

I asked her why, but I couldn't hear/catch her reply.

She wanted me to follow her. We entered a stairwell, and she quickly walked down the stairs. I flew along behind her, but had trouble "aiming" my flight pattern to steer properly and had a hard time keeping up.

Down the stairs on the level/floor we were supposed to be at, there were a bunch of empty chairs on the stairwell landing, right outside another open door leading to a larger room. Whatever her intentions were for me seemed to have something to do with lots of makeup, etc. As if I were going to be given a makeover!

She went down to an even lower level and was taking out the trash. She asked me if anyone else was there yet - that is, on the above floor where there were the still-empty chairs. I said no.

Just then, another woman sat down in one of the empty chairs. I went over to that area to stand by the chairs and wait.

Then I came-to, that experience ended. I took notes and laid back down. Not really intending to have another experience, but I didn't feel like getting up yet and thought I'd just lay there and rest for a bit.

I wound up having another experience anyway. I don't remember it being a projection from inside a dream, and I don't even remember projecting at all. Maybe it was "Just" a dream, but I was there, it was 3D, and I had the same senses/sensations I do when I'm out.

This one was definitely more ambiguous, I think, and I'm not sure what was really going on and whether it was a dream or "more" than that.


Someone had brought me down to like a ground floor/basement level. Like a student or something. There was a classroom of students and a teacher who didn't seem to think I belonged there, and kicked me out. But the other students seemed to want me there, they seemed to think I had done something good (something that I couldn't remember).

The teacher seemed so rude, that altho I was now up some stairs and no longer in the classroom, I used all my strength and energy to tell him off, basically, to send my voice booming out with my thoughts, about how rude he was to me. Like hey man, I'm just a human on earth who is trying her best and who was brought here and is just trying to go with the flow and observe and learn.

I was so weak after doing this I was gasping for air, and slumped down on the floor, leaning against the wall, too weak to move or do anything else.

Then a cloaked/hooded figure arrived, with some sort of a mask over its face. He seemed like an evil figure. I had the feeling I'd seen this hooded figure before.

He said, "Isn't it time we shut down the basement?"

I tried to explain that I was very weak, I could barely talk, and I was too weak to talk to him more, or to do anything much, as I had just used all my strength to tell off that teacher!

He put his hand on my right side. I felt extreme pain on the top of my right hand, the top of my right foot, my right side, and under my right armpit. It almost felt like he was sticking his hand INTO my right side. It almost seemed like he was trying to tickle me awake, but there was so much pain, too.

I was so weak I couldn't do much. I asked for help. I tried to "thought→action" him away but it didn't work. Slowly, the hooded figure and the entire scene started to fade, becoming more indistinct, and finally I woke up.


Some things I noticed is that both of these experiences involve going down to a lower (deeper?) level of a building. And, in one of my last experiences in space, there was that elevator that I got into, and I had the sense it was going to take us down. The first experience today was a good one - my helper was that woman who (while I was out) I seemed to recognize, who seemed to recognize me, and the experience was suffused with a sense of safety.

The second experience was terrible! Other students bring me to a lower level classroom, I'm rudely kicked out, and then this cloaked figure with a real sense of evil causes me more severe pain. Very strange.

Concur with what everyone has said. The vertigo sounds like the beginning of the shift. You may also experience a "spinning" sensation ... like as tho you were on the teacups ride at Disney! LEAN IN to those sensations. You can even make the sensations increase thru your intention, so they build and get you closer to exiting

I started off getting the full-body vibrations, but as things progressed those died down and basically went away. Now, it's usually some combination of phasing or projecting from a lucid dream. When I project from a lucid dream, I "stretch" out of my body. I sort of try stretching my arms/self up and out - very slowly, as I don't want to accidentally move my literal arms! I just intend/stretch myself gently up and out. At some point, something "feels" different, like I've been "loosed", sorta feels like floating a bit. At that point I know I'm free or "out" and I can ask to go somewhere.

For what seems more like "phasing", sometimes I try to sleep and then the 2-d images suddenly become 3-d and I'm THERE. I'm usually not even trying to do this because I'm so tired and I kinda just wanna sleep! But what everyone is saying about gentle attention that isn't "trying" go focus on anything seems right. Don't be "graspy" with your attention. Sorta practice "non-attachment" with it, just let it play out, gently noticing, and suddenly you'll find yourself in the middle of it. I think "wanting" to phase/project can make it harder. This is probably why this started happening to me so much, because I'm actually wanting to sleep, so I'm really not trying to look too close at the hypnagogic imagery. If I try it won't work; if I think, yes I would really like to fall back asleep now, then *poof* off I go.

Hope that helps =)

PS I miss vibrations! Enjoy them =)

Interesting! I don't know if any of this is helpful but since you seem interested in numbers, I'm copying/pasting what I have from my (overly long) doc on my notes about interpreting tarot. Unfortunately only goes up to 10 (bc the cards do), but, maybe it will help you with some other numbers, give you more food for thought =)



1 - location but no dimension; godhood, the beginning of all things, potential, initiative, idea/spark, beginnings, elemental energy, unity, perfection, what is singular and essential, first principles

2 - a line, extension; duality, self mirrored by another, opposition/division; implies possibility of choice, balance, decision; illusion of separateness, possibility of relationship - partnership, complementary energies, coming together, combination; dialog; cooperation

3 - triangle = first tangible form and so symbol of reality; procreation, fruition; multiplicity, the many; synthesis, integration and mediation, diversity as harmony; cooperation, progress, expansion, growth, amplification; creativity, expression, soul and spirit; really auspicious; group activities, a third element

4 - adds depth; perfect order and permanence; physical world/material existence; the product of equals (2 + 2) so represents justice - good, but heavy; foundation, structure, stability, consolidation, safety, rest, boundaries, order, logic, reality, material, physical

5 - pentagram = can be drawn in an endless knot; change, alteration, motion, time, life/humanity; suggests pain/wounding (5 wounds of Christ); decay; upsets 4's stability, creating crisis; can also represent health, vitality, new possibilities; severity, associated with fear and punishment, danger and sorrow - challenges that were not of your choosing; change, uncertainty

6 - the next 'perfect' number; emerging consciousness and purification; hexagram = 2 opposing triangles (fire + water), symmetry, so integrated awareness of both spirit + matter, and so promoting reconciliation; associated with sex/generation - movement, giving and receiving, lots of balance and flow; success, rewards, harmony, generosity, reconciliation, a return of stability after the 5's; spiritual balance, expression, emotion, harmony

7 - both reason and chance; both victory and the slightest problem that can upset it; represents wisdom; both perfection and everything that can undermine it (7 vices and 7 virtues); often represent crisis or a test, upheaval, struggles, challenges perhaps of our own choosing, rites of passage, must act quickly to seize the critical moment or opportunity, to avoid being victimized; flexibility, ingenuity, foxes sleep with one eye open - planning, plotting, slightly manipulative; developmental stage, wisdom, spirituality

8 - rhythm and cycles, patterns; presence of a higher justice than that found in matter (the 4); progress toward completion and the final adjustments that need to be made to achieve it - movement both outward and inward; maturity, peak ability, resilience, strength; justice, judgement, business, wealth, abundance, manifestation

9 - the perfect form of the perfect 3; represents limits, boundaries, and strength; completion and end of a cycle, altho in relation to the 10 this completion is still lacking something - backbone and taking a stand; abundance, accumulation, living in the now, enjoying the fruits of our labor; change will be for the better, idealism, optimism, longevity

10 - mystically the same as 1; infinite and unbounded, a higher order of unity; abundance; manifestation and death of the ideal; fulfillment, resolves and consolidates whatever was lacking in the completion of the 9 - stable, nowhere else to go; long-term cycles, endings, transitions; pinnacle of either success or tribulation, depths, climax is coming



Another interesting thing is, at least in the Rider-waite-smith deck (Thoth is different), the 11th Major Arcana card is Justice - and it's right smack dab in the middle of the Major Arcana sequence!

Interesting. I always feel quite literal pain sensations when there is a "procedure" on me - I wish I didn't 

Anyway, your interpretation sounds spot on to me! The symbolism is pretty clear and makes total sense given what you've been trying to do with your spirituality and discipline.

So first of all, are we sure that this wasn't the Harry Potter sorting hat? 

Second - I just had an experience that involved the number "eleven" this morning, and posted about it just now, and then started cruising thru the site to see what other recent post there would that I could read. I came to your thread and read the bit where you were told you were to become an "eleven" - funny coincidence! What do you think the hat meant?

14 March 2021

Out of body experience - astral projection - lucid dream

Three inchoate, and relatively brief, experiences this morning.

First, I found myself dreaming that I was somewhat falling asleep standing up, and then someone lifted me up and carried me along - as if they were going to get me home. I opened my eyes and saw the ground and the person's feet walking, and it looked like we were outside and he was going to lay me in the backseat of his car to drive me home. I looked up, and saw what looked to be my grandmother. This is the second time I've encountered her, all without asking. Again, like the last time, I cried and hugged her. Then my grandpa was there. I reached out to him and took his hand. He looked at my hand holding his and said, "Her hands are the same." I told them both that I loved them and kept crying.

Then, I tried asking them, basically, where they wound up. Did they properly transition after they died? I asked them if they were in the afterlife, or heaven? I asked what it was like. Grandpa said, I think, "There are eleven sounds." He definitely said there are eleven SOMETHING. And I think he said "sounds". Then my grandma said, "It sounds like milk." I mean...OK?

That's all I remember from that experience.

I tried googling to see if I could find any references to "eleven sounds" in heaven, and I struck out; however, I did find this:

https://guardianlv.com/2015/05/nasa-weighs-in-on-apocalyptic-sounds-from-heaven-heard-during-month-of-pentecost-and-shavuot/

Wild! I somehow missed all the news about these weird sounds being heard in the sky all over the world. Wonder if NASA ever figured it out....

Anyway...

I took notes and then wanted to sleep some more because I was tired. I had more weird dreams, and then I became fully lucid and decided to see where I could go. I said my usual, Take me where I need to go, tell me what I need to know! I started floating along, and found that I was floating up, up, up! Into space. There were lots of stars, the higher into space I went, the more it seemed like there were millions of stars clustering to create weird shapes and designs. Then, I entered a wormhole and started zipping along. I've been through these tunnels many times. Literal tunnels, and on the inside there are all these colors. I've only ever opened my eyes to look around after I'd already entered one; this was the first time I was looking around and saw myself going into one.

One of the interesting things about this was that you could hop on/hop off. Like, hop into this wormhole, zip along, then get off, so you can then hop into this other wormhole over here. Like they were different highways. That's what happened - again, I'm just floating along, somehow being directed, I wasn't controlling this. I floated into one wormhole, zipped along, then "hoped out," only to go into another wormhole from there.

I wound up somewhere civilized, in a large, large, center or complex of some kind. Could be a research center, a political center (like the UN or whatever), I don't know. But it was big and impressive, lots of people (totally human looking) walking around. I was just looking around, wondering where I would be taken.

Then, I got to an elevator. There were a few other people waiting for the elevator, along with what looked like a UPS delivery man with a pushcart of lots of cardboard boxes. And I literally exclaimed: "There are BOXES in SPACE?!?"

Like...that's what amazed me? Encountering boxes LOL

We got into the elevator, which was surprisingly small and kinda old looking. It was rounded, like a pill capsule, instead of rectangular.

And that's all I remember, that experience ended.

I forced myself to sit up enough to take notes. By this point I'm just bone tired. I really just wanted to sleep! But I dipped back in and had another experience.

I don't remember how this one started. The first thing I remember is that I'm being carried along by someone huge - like, Thanos-huge. It was male. For some reason, it said it couldn't tell me who it was, yet. There was a reason for this, but I don't remember.

I asked, "Are you a spirit?"

He said, "As a form of a spirit."

That was interesting. I was like...you're a FORM of a spirit? What does that mean....?

I asked: "How long have we known each other?" Because I got the impression this fella knew who I was, and was there to help me.

In response, he replied as though I had asked an entirely different question. He said, "Who are YOU?"

As in, he replied to me as if I had asked "Who am I?" and his response was to repeat my question back to me, "Who are *you*?"

And I was like, hmm, that's a much better question that I should have asked, knowing who I am would be much more interesting that knowing how long we've known each other!

So I said, "Yes!" Like, yeah, tell me the answer to THAT question!

Well, I shortly woke up after that.

There is one thing, however, that I know he also said. The problem is that I'm not sure WHEN he said it.

He said, "Centuries old". Chronologically, I remember him saying it last, at the very end. But I also remember vaguely that this content was something he was saying about himself. As in, I asked him if he's a spirit, he said he was a form of a spirit, and I was like, ..... A form of a spirit? And he indicated that he's centuries old.

That's what I think happened, but it's a bit foggy!

I was kind of hesitant to post this one... it's kind of strange... but what the heck lol.

I went to sleep kind of late. I notice that the later I stay up the more intense my APs are. After a slow clumsy separation I found myself in a beautiful castle room with pink drapes and soft blue hues. Around me where girls. Tons of them! They had me surrounded!

A few took me in hand and led me to an old style bathtub where they proceeded to wash me thoroughly. After that they dyed my hair raven black. After that I got a manicure and a pedicure. Looking in a mirror I could see that my black hair was long now like a girls. And kind of pretty!

Here comes the weird part. Naked as I was the girls surrounded me again and a few came forth to stimulate me. Once I was erect a beautiful blond came forth with a beautiful sword and with one swing chopped it off! I screamed! Another girl came forth and carved what was left of my manhood out! Looking down I could see a gaping slit with blood where my peepee used to be! 

"It's almost over! Don't worry!" one of the pretty girls was saying. One girl had a device which she then scanned me with a blue light on my parts. Suddenly I had a full blown vagina. As far as vaginas go I thought it was pretty decent! They did their scan again and suddenly I had breasts!

Well, they dressed me up in a nice dress and put me in front of this regal mirror. I was a beautiful girl! AHHH! lol

One of the wierdest APs I've ever had, that's for sure!   

Did you feel pain when they did this?

EV: Eh? Where is LightBeam's experience? I'm scanning but don't see it (??)

Nameless: If I know a lot on an energetic level, I always think, fat lotta good it does me most of the time LOL

Whew, it's been a minute! Total dry spell these last couple months. Maybe because, per my last experience, I haven't "gone home" to New Zealand yet  

ANYWAY:

10 March 2021

Out of body experience - astral projection - lucid dream

I think I projected from a dream. I'd been having lots of weird dreams, achieved some degree of lucidity, and clawed my way up and "out". I said, Take me to my spirit guides! I had to say it a few times before I felt myself floating. I heard words in a strange language spoken in my left ear.

Let's just say, I was NOT taken to my guides. Floated along for a few moments, and then opened my eyes. Saw two female-presenting strange humanoid looking creatures to my right. Small eyes and mouths, and they didn't have noses. I think they were wearing cloaks. They were kinda unnerving to look at, but I tried to stay calm and not be scared. I've definitely been watching too much weird TV and I think it's affecting how things manifest. They definitely said stuff to me, but I can't remember what.

Then, I floated away from them - it seemed like I was being "separated" from them, and I'm not sure I wanted that to happen. I wound up in front of something that I can only describe as a very large "mother" creature. It was massive, like at least 20 feet tall. It wasn't humanoid, just...a weird creature. I was told there would be a procedure on me, something having to do with my reproductive organs.

Yeah, I didn't like the sound of that. I said, "I do not consent to this!" I tried to engage the mother creature in conversation, to learn the purpose of it. For some reason, I addressed it as "Lady". I said, "Lady, tell me, what is this for?"

I'm not sure what the answer was. As usual, there was more said than I can remember. But then she said (not in these exact words, but this is more or less the content), "Tell me, what is someone who you have sex with but is not your spiritual or energetic match?"

My response was, "A boyfriend."   LOLLOLLOL

Well, yeah, then they laughed. The mother creature laughed, and I heard a chorus of other laughter, too, but I don't know who else was there. Later, I turned to look back over my left shoulder, and there were a couple young men floating on their backs (like I was more or less floating on my back). The mother creature grabbed one of them by the ankle, and pulled him forward to where I was (the men looked kinda out of it, like they were more or less asleep).

The mother creature said more stuff, but I don't remember. I started losing my ability to see. "Lady, I can't see you..." I said. I couldn't see her, or the man, or anything anymore.

Then, it seemed like the procedure started. I didn't feel anything on my lower abdomen where my reproductive organs are, however. Instead, I felt as tho scalpels were going into each of my wrists (the underside of my wrists) and on the tops of both of my feet. It hurt, but I tried to let it happen in the hopes that this was a "good" thing.

While experiencing that pain, not being able to see anything anymore, I asked, "Lady, who was that boy?" (no idea why I referred to him as a "boy" when it was clearly an adult male).

The mother creature responded, "What's the rush?"

And that was IT.

Last night after 2AM-2:30AM an opportunity was present and IMMEDIATELY shut down. Literally like an, "access denied" feeling. Just as I started hearing a voice and the creeping sensations associated with sleep paralysis or the feelings just before "take-off"   Am I shutting down? What is the reason for it...? Could I not be acknowledging something...? Hmm.

Dude I am laughing!!   This sort of thing just happens sometimes and reading this made me remember something similar that happened to me like...6 or so months ago.

I had asked to be taken to the Highest Self of my ex. We had a strange little conversation. I can only stay out so long before I lose focus and get sucked back.  But the conversation wasn't really over so after taking notes, I managed to get back to right state again and asked the same thing, to be taken back to his Highest Self. I started to feel buzzing and movement to indicate that I was starting to travel there, and then suddenly and abruptly these words flashed in front of me:  ACCESS UNEXPLAINED. I was then *quite* forcibly ejected back to my body. LMFAO I guess the powers that be decided, nope, that was enough of that! Maybe I wasn't supposed to have access to his Highest Self in the first place and they were like uh...you weren't supposed to be there. I have also had a helper literally move in front of my face and sigh dramatically when I asked to be taken somewhere that they obviously thought was beside the point and a distraction from Higher Things. I have also literally had a helper/guide look at me when I show up somewhere and say either "What are you doing here?" or "You're not supposed to be here" more than once. I guess i have a strange knack for getting myself into places I'm not supposed to have access to, and then they have to haul me away LOL sometimes we can analyze our experiences and make an educated guess about why we were "booted"; other times it remains a mystery. All we can do is stay open, stay humble, keep going, and keep learning - and, be willing to laugh about it!

Thank you, Lumaza, I'm going to take these for a test drive!

~

What if a treatment is potentially life-threatening?

It's important for the person to understand such a serious risk, but what if not telling them reduced the risk that it would actually be life-threatening?

You may be interested in more of Kaptchuk's research =)

https://1d804da3-64cf-40e3-a663-5049093d8d87.filesusr.com/ugd/b87e84_af315416aaf847ec876b426697e7d8e0.pdf

I've skimmed in and out of the Frank method stuff over the past 8 months or so - is this Wave 1 audio track that you guys are referencing available in like a youtube video or something? I've been thinking what I can do to be able to project during the day, in stead of at the crack of dawn when part of me just wants to sleep!

It's a real effect, but it has lots of limits!

"Another way to think about it: Placebos tweak our experience of symptoms, not their underlying causes. "

"In all the objectively measurable illnesses, like cancer, even heart disease, there are components of it that are not [objectively measurable]," Kaptchuk says. And it's those symptoms that are the prime targets to treat with placebo.

Placebo can only help symptoms that can be modulated by the mind. "There are real limits to what you can condition," Miller says. You can't, for example, condition the cancer-killing effects of chemotherapy. Our bodies don't produce cancer-killing chemicals."

"When I first started studying placebo effects, it kind of seemed like magic — for some reason, your brain mimicked a drug response," Wager says. "The biggest change in this field in the last 15 years is that neuroscientists are beginning to uncover the underlying neural mechanisms that create the placebo response."

Placebos, researchers have found, actually prompt the release of opioids and other endorphins (chemicals that reduce pain) in the brain. Other findings:

    Drugs that negate the effects of opioids — such as naloxone — also counteract the placebo effect, which shows that placebos are indeed playing on the brain's natural pain management circuitry."

https://www.vox.com/science-and-health/2017/7/7/15792188/placebo-effect-explained?fbclid=IwAR3U0BVpyWtwKsuX9RFaqSk7CjfC98PymN9BpW1GNrspJLIJBUdMotEXozI

Not that I've been doing this all that long, but I've never seen any kind of connect-y cord, either. I've looked at myself in mirrors, and definitely nothing coming out of my stomach/solar plexus area. I've looked down and my feet and hands (tho not specifically at my stomach), and didn't notice anything then, either. It's all free-wheelin' space walkin' over here 

but I knew 'wiggly' was the key

Technically it was "giggly" but gotta be honest, I like "wiggly" better! 

That's just it! The whole "Level 2" thing came because I asked to do something "Personal" instead of "Cosmic" - "Cosmic" here I'm using to reference "big picture" stuff like ultimate meaning, one's mission, purpose, evolution, energetic growth, etc. Whereas "Personal" could be flying around, visiting friends, etc. At least 95% of the time I ask to do something Cosmic. The only reason I ever deviate from that and, every once in a while, ask to do something Personal, is because I try to do Cosmic and they put me off. So I'm like, OK, fine, I'll go do something else instead for 5 seconds, I guess. So I try to go do something else instead, and their reaction is... "you didn't pick Cosmic this time? Bad Rabbit!"; "I didn't pick Cosmic this time because you don't answer my Cosmic questions." And then the spirits are like, "Look what you made me do." Honestly spirit guides are starting to feel like an abusive relationship (just joking, but also, kinda not! LOL)

Is there an intelligible difference between "using" emotions in Non-Ordinary Reality and "having" emotions in Non-Ordinary Reality? Because it would seem like an impossible task to not "have" emotions because like it or not, we're human. Or do we lose points for simply having emotions while we're Out, too?

I don't think A- is the typical guide that I might advance beyond. It's supposed to be an entity my affiliation with which in part shapes my entire Mission. If I cannot blaze the lines of communication open, the Mission is impossible. Connecting with A- and the rest of them is a condition of the possibility of me doing what I am here to do in the first place. So there are some things that aren't adding up at the moment 

Curious-er and curious-er.

15 January 2021

Out of body experience - astral projection - lucid dream

I think I projected from a dream. Said my usual. For some reason I asked to make a pit-stop to see a particular person I know who did hurtful things. My helper this time was a pretty Black woman. Maybe in her late 40s, looking. She appeared before me, and said in some way, Oh, giiirl.... Like hey, it's not a good idea, you know? I said yes, I know, but I need closure and if they would give me closure in Ordinary Reality then I wouldn't have to try to talk to them in Non-Ordinary Reality! We seemed to have a long back-and-forth conversation, which is unusual. She traced her fingers around, up and down, on my stomach, like the area between the sternum and the belly button. She seemed to be singing "Raindrops Keep Falling on my Head" as she did so - odd. I just looked up the lyrics and they seemed pretty appropriate. This somehow was supposed to cheer me up and clear up any sad thoughts and feelings. Then, she was going to insert some piercing. It was gold and big, two dimensional (i.e., flat) and very ornamental, circular. And I was like, what?! No! That will hurt! How am I supposed to get pants on with that thing there? As if this would affect my physical body, haha! I even asked her if there would be a physical complement to it in Ordinary Reality LOL She said "I don't know". Well, OK. She showed me something that looked like a flip-book with various levels. Like, level 1 through level 5 or 6 or something. She said I was only on Level 2! It's about what percentage of time you're operating on each level, that's where you're considered generally at. Most of the time she said I'm on Level 2 because I'm too "giggly." WTF does that even mean? Am I not supposed to have joy?! I was like...what are you even talking about. The very first time I projected did I ask to go for a joyride or fly around or visit friends or go into outer space? NO! I asked to see my spirit guides! I incessantly asked about my mission! Like, dude, I've been so serious about this, screw your Level 2 bovine excrement.

That's all I remember for that one. I had at least a half dozen other interlude sessions that consisted of me having asked, I think, to be taken directly to A- -- who I wrote about in a recent post, the entity I've encountered as my main guide during my shamanic journeys. Like seriously, they don't think I'm serious?! Screw that noise. So for the first time I asked explicitly to be taken DIRECTLY to him. I had asked so many direct questions about my mission and was stonewalled. And now they're all like you're too giggly and asking to be taken somewhere that isn't "serious" so friggin fine - TAKE ME TO MY MAIN GUIDE THEN. And honestly, I think I was given the run-around. A main helper acted like she was taking me somewhere - like she acted like she was taking me to him. I had a hard time keeping up with her. There was often one or so other people with us in our group. This usually manifested as going down subway steps to the train platform, like we're going to take public transit or whatever. The experience kept cutting off, and I was wanted to dive back in so this time, I decided to NOT take notes on every single one. I just kept diving back in, and kept winding up with the same helper, who acted like she was going to take me to him. I got the impression that the reason I wasn't successfully "being taken" to him was maybe because of something I was supposed to do that I wasn't doing. Like there was some task or something I needed to accomplish. At first, I thought it was because I was falling behind and couldn't keep up with her. I brought this up with her and she taught me a trick for how to increase my speed - I tried it and it worked! Not perfect but it helped (you push your hand/arm out in front of you and puuuush it into the air in front of you and move your hand in the direction you want to go. Like if the terrain is up and down (hilly) you would tilt your palm like that, like you're following along the terrain with your hand; the harder you push it out into the air ahead of you, the faster you go).

Also there were times when I couldn't see, or everything looked flat and 2D, more like watching a movie screen than actually "being there", and she was able to help each time. But she still wasn't taking me to A-. So after like a half dozen of these experiences, I was like OK, enough of this. I started to think maybe it wasn't because I was failing at doing something right; I started to think, no, I think they're just refusing to take me to him. It normally takes like 5-10 seconds max to be taken where I ask to go, usually. If they're *actually* going to take me somewhere, there won't be all this rigamorole.

And after chiding me for not being serious enough or whatever? That got my Irish up.

So the next time I got out, I absolutely insisted, over and over, TAKE ME TO A-. Finally I saw some images of humans who looked dressed in some kinda polynesian attire. It was kinda like an apparition of these people, they weren't actually "there" so to speak, even in Non-Ordinary Reality. I heard a voice, as if the voice of all these polynesians, booming around me, kinda like, OK, we're answering you because you were so insistent about talking to A-. They told me I have to "please instead of weep, find instead of weld."

Strange. I'm not sure if the first word, "please" is correct, but it is something meaning like "being kind and nice". Weird stuff, especially "find instead of weld."

They also said that I have to leave the U.S. and never come back. I'm not even joking. I have to "go home" as it were, like go to the place that is my true home. THEN, when I do that, I can talk to him directly.

This experience ended, I took notes, and dove back in again. I wound up with the same woman helper, I think, who was in all those intermediary experiences that I didn't take notes on. I asked her if, regarding leaving the U.S. and "going home", is it right, then, to want to go to New Zealand, and she said yes.

So, OK, like seriously? I was planning on going there for maybe like 3 years or so to get a break, but NEVER COME BACK?! We'll see about that. I don't see why they would tell me I can't talk to A- directly when not that long ago they JUST brought him into one of my projections! Not only that, but they chastise me for giggling too much, or whatever, meanwhile every time I ask to be taken to my spirit guides, especially A-, and whenever I ask for clarity about my mission, they put me off or stonewall me. Talk about setting me up for failure and then blaming me for it. Like you want me to be "more serious" or whatever? How about when I ask serious questions about serious things you FLIPPING ANSWER ME.

Not to mention, this makes no sense given what my channeler just said. If A-(and the rest of them) are the beings she said they are, and I am too, and my LITERAL JOB is to connect with them and communicate messages, why the bonk would they deny my request to talk to him in a projection, and tell me I can't do that until I leave the U.S.? Which I won't be able to do for another ~2 years anyway? I'm bonking "one of them" and they won't talk to me?

Man, I'm ticked.