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I can't even imagine what would happen if i told a psychiatrist all the truth about me visiting different dimensions, leaving my body while still alive and creating/changing our physical reality with my will/thoughts.  

Been there done that.

If you ever want to rattle the cages that way, here's a safety tip . . . be prepared to deliver evidence of a personal nature to the therapist.

There are many many therapists out there who would be perfectly happy as lurkers on Astral Pulse, who quietly and secretly take their etheric learning back to their practices -- but who can NEVER admit it because of peer issues, insurance, and all the rest.

I have a phd psychotherapist I see who is a psychic and travels dimensionally.  I have access to a psychiatrist who is also psychic and who's credentials are so solid that she "gets away" with her non traditional therapies.    There out there you just have to find them.

It seem to me that it's not unlike the difficulties gays and lesbians have getting good therapy.   Or kids.  Or people of color.  Anyone who's "different" from the defined norm -- even if the defined norm is really abnormal -- creates a nasty feedback loop for The System.  Psychotherapy is part of The System.

Here's a thought . . . you were an empath before too!  Nothing changed except your consciousness.

Consciousness can be overwhelming.

I don't know if it's possible to "get control" of being an empath.  

"I am" is a powerful accidental truth.  

Some people have empathic skills but it's not the ocean in which they live!  Those folks seem to have the option to turn it on and off and hence have a level of control.

My experience is that if I turn my consciousness of my empathic nature OFF in order to get something done that's impossible with my empathy wide awake, I seem to store awareness as an energy distortion in my energy and in my body.  The trade off seems to be that I can ignore my empathy, but then afterwards I have to be disciplined and conscious about grounding and coming back into personal balance.  It's still PAINFUL to do that.  

Panic attacks, depression, a whole range of icky stuff is my body's notice that I've picked up and stored energy patterns that are NOT MINE!  Or that I'm doing something that's not working for me.

I just try to remember that some newborn infants are empaths born.  They manage it.  

I'm operating from the current assumption that it's not Reality that's unbearable and unmanageable but the bad match of my cultural training (ego development) with what's REAL.  

And that human cultural reality is incompatible with The Big Real.

The emperor has no clothes, but you can still get in big trouble for laughing when everyone else is solemn and respectful.

[Has this happened to anyone else? What does it mean? Were the red dots an attack or a silent message or a sign? Can anyone explain what happened between J and I?]

<Has this happened to anyone else?  What does it mean?  Were the red dots an attack or a silent message or a sign?  Can anyone explain what happened between J and I?

Any furthur information to help me find out what this was would be great!

Thanks!  ...I hope nobody thinks I am weird.<img src=icon_smile_blush.gif border=0 align=middle></font id='Georgia'>

Dear LadyLea,

At Dictionary.com, the first definintion of weird is:  ". . .Of, relating to, or suggestive of the preternatural or supernatural."

You are weird.   Say "hello"  You're in company of kind.

As to your real question about the astrally projected extended community and the three dots. . .

I live in that kind of a zone and I'm part of several different "out of body" communities like that.  Mostly I just try to ignore the whole thing because I have too much that I want to do here in the mundane world to get distracted.  

The out-of-body communities work for me in the mundane, because I can frequently recognize someone I meet as an associate -- or at least a "friend of a friend" out of body.  This allows me to facilitate and sort of "dance around" all kinds of limiting interpersonal bs in business and community work.  

It's my perception that everyone is participatory in that sort of non physical community but different people have different levels of awareness and choice, different levels of presence, and radically different ability to remember when they are wide awake.  

There's more that I can't understand than I can, but one piece that's a real headscratcher is that some of the most powerful and aware astral projectors, can't seem to get any awareness of that space you are describing.  On request, I've tried to teach people as your partner introduced you, but most people just can't do it, unless I take them there as a guide.  I finally decided that was just a waste of time all around and if people are meant to have access to whatever that is, they'll get it.  

All of that is lead in to say that your "three red dots" sounds like a material manifestation of something happeninng "out there"  Even people who have no memory and are unconscious of their "Other Place" antics get those.  I have odd mark and especially scars appear and disappear on my body while I'm getting massages.  It seems to be particularly intense if the massage therapist is someone with a strong presence in that Other Place but has no memory or awareness.  

Maybe we're acting as animated post-it notes in the mundane.

My personal feeling is that anyone in or out of body who causes any changes to me and mine is perpetrating an act of aggression.  It's just that "acts of aggression" are not necessarily attacks -- an offer of a handshake is a friendly act of aggression.  It's not the other person's issue that as an empath a handshake is a bigger deal for me than for your average (less weird) individual.  

My own personal much adored dogs attack me with too enthusiastic affection every time I come in the house.  I wish they wouldn't.  We're working on "NO"  I still appreciate their intent.

I think it's a message, even if it's just a "hello, you were here, this is real and not just your imagination"  My experience is that only you can really translate it, because only you know the context for the message.  

Three dots have lots of possibilities.  If memory serves me correctly, it's the mathematical symbol for "Therefore"  Three balls (2d dots) is both "The Juggler" and (if gold) the symbol for St. Nicholas.  And for pawn brokers.  The color red has it's own meanings -- plus I would have to wonder if it was red because that was one of the colors available on the "post-it-note" of my body and the one I was most likely to notice.

And it FEELS like none of those is it -- I keep seeing it in three lights, like a star combination or alignment.  

It feels wrong to end this without saying that I feel like you are projecting too much authority in this realm onto J.  There's something just not healthy for you there -- not with J but with this aspect of what you are thinking/expecting.  It's like thinking that because someone took you to MacDonald's for your first cheeseburger that you can't ever go to MacDonald's without them.  Take back your power here.  It's not good for J what you're doing.  

But then I'm a cranky, cranky little girl these days.

Okay, I bounce off in weird ways, so consider the source . . .

I adore catholicism and I think we're in the end times, but just clicking into this website creeps me out to such an extent that I can't even stay with it enough to look over the articles.

Sometimes I have that reaction when the person's work is so GOOD thta they have drawn in so many people and everyone is releasing "crap" all at the same time.

I'm never sure unless I stay with something long enough, but I think there's something very wrong -- deeply wrong -- with the man and his message.  

And that's what I think.

I'm happy to hear that, but not everyone lacking money is a taker, anymore than everyone who is improverished is a criminal or drug addict. It's very unfair.

And many people can't tell the difference between a real healer and the swami inept down the street.

And in all honesty, there is one way to stop from being overwhelmed, you say, "No I can't right now" and you prioritize according to who is wounded more and who is less.[/quote]

My God NO!.  Not everyone lacking money is a Taker!!!  In no way did I mean to imply that.  In fact, my experience is that it's the people with money who are most often begging piteously and sincerely for no charge support, because they can't imagine life with one jot less of their disposable income to support their various culturally approved addictions, many of which contribute to the illness in the first place.  

An "inept swami down the street" is no less dangerous at no charge.

"No, I can't right now" frightens off many of the people most in need of help -- they've heard "NO" too many times before and won't come back.  It escalates the Takers into upping the ante to make their need a higher priority.  Among suicides, some are those who hit the Wall and found no one there, some are people who were "crying out for help" and miscalculated on the timing of the person who was supposed to show up at the last second.  

And that is in NO way a critique of how desperate the point of suicide really is . . . the pain is real, even if it's a miscalcualtion.  The wounds are real.

I have had a terrible time with money.  Correcting that unbalance in myself has been and continues to be a part of my healing and growth process.  I would NEVER have tried Feng Shui if I hadn't been desperate for some quality essential oils that I simply couldn't afford.  The Feng Shui work I did, to this day still very rough and primitive, helped not only my prosperity but also positively impacted other areas of my life.

If we believe that the etheric can effect physical healing, why would we presume that the etheric cannot also help to balance our economic imbalance.  If we continue to be unwilling to heal our personal economies, how can we expect the larger world economy to get better?  If the "spiritually enlightened" refuse to get their hands dirty touching money, then we create a distortion where money can ONLY reside in the hands of the least enlightened.  

How benevolent is that to force them to carry such a burden?

Healing is as complicated as the ways people manifest illness.  Some shamen charge, some do not.  Some of it has to do with their traditions, some with their calling.

I work with a Sioux medicine woman from the reservation and she charges.  It would be interesting to hear from people who work with healers from the lineage of tradional shamanic practices -- I'm betting most charge in some form appropriate for the culture.  African?  South American?    

Life has balance.  For my personal healing I prefer healers I can pay because it clean up the lines that run between us and creates a nice closure to the event.  The Universe does not always support my perference and I am "given" to frequently.  

For most of my life, I believed like many writing here that while it was okay for me to pay for healing, it was wrong for me to get paid.  I much prefer a different job in a completely unrelated field.  

My guides kept hammering me until I agreed to try accepting fees.

I had mainstream professionals who wanted to refer people to me but who needed a culturally approved mechanism.  One of them . . .a hospital administrator . . . finally went ahead and referred to me, and then called me up and TOLD me what she had done, what my fees were, and what the mundane structure should look like.  Umm . . . sure, okay.   It never occurred to me that some of the people most in need of what I can offer are so culturally imbedded that they would have no access without a culturally understandable doorway in the fee structure.  

No sense in preaching to the choir, eh?  

The most important thing I learned -- not here at AP but in the more mudane world -- is that often the benefit people get is linked to paying for the treatment.  It's somehow easier for people to focus, prioritize, and make room for the needed etheric change in their mundane life if the healing is grounded for them in the mundane through the familiar mundane ritual of payment.  People are better able to benefit if they pay.

Weird.

What I learned for the effectivenss of my own work was even more interesting.  Before I started charging, I didn't think I was overwhelmed and burned out.  It didn't seem like I was working with THAT many people.  

WRONG.  

I learned that about 2/3 of the people I was working with were not getting well partly because they enjoyed the connection and the drama of healing.  They were accustomed to their pain -- it wasn't like they were masochists but there was often an unconscious level of acceptance, so that it was tolerable.  It was especially more tolerable than confronting the homeostasis that kept them stuck.  Then I would come in and do what I do and they would experince tremendous relief.  I was helping keep them stuck by reducing the difficulty enough that their boat could stay afloat.

They kept me stuck because I was constantly tapped out -- and I was so accustomed to being completely exhausted and tapped out that I didn't even notice.  Not to mention how much lifeforce I wasted trying to do mudane things that I'm quite frankly not very good at, just to earn a living.    

And as for those 2/3 that were not really benefitting . . . I didn't cut anybody off.  It's just as I started working with paying clients, I noticed the difference and changed what I was doing to be more effective.

I also learned that my personal world was skewed -- I was disproportionally attracting "Takers" -- people who experience power on the planet by compulsively "getting" as much as they possibly could grab without the needful balance of give and take.  There was no room around me for people with better balance.  

I work both with and without fees now, but I am CONSCIOUS of the difference.  Because I'm conscious and paying attention, I'm more aware of where the balance is for me and for everyone else.  

Also, there are many forms of "payment"  Some of my clients "pay" by keeping a prayer practice in place for my benefit in whatever form of prayer their personal tradition dictates.    

One last thought . . .with due respect to the many excellent people freely sharing themselves and their gifts here.  This is out of my own experience:  Money is less costly to the soul than the covert "deal" of Master/Student, Shaman/Sickie that can so easily create a hidden vampiric energy/confidence syphon in the etheric and trap the "Master" in an icon identity.

Thanks for sharing this info Rastus.

As usual, I don't understand it but . . .

Carolyn Myss:  Spiritual Maddness.  It's been out awhile, so it's pretty easy to find a used copy cheap.

I'm not a Myss fan, but she talks about The Dark Night Of the Soul here in ways that people can access, understand, and make use of right in the middle of their biggest trouble.

I don't push it on people when they are in trouble, even though I do try to keep copies to loan out.  Instead, I tend to listen to it when someone close to me is in this space.  

Somehow, listening to the tape refreshes the "map out of the abyss" (how to grow through) in my awareness.  If I hold "the map" in my own awareness without really thinking about it, it helps them in ways I don't understand.

BECAUSE your signature says "I Spread My Wings And Brush Ten Thousand Worlds, try this on for a fit.

It's not the whole picture, but for mediums, it might make the whole picture clearer because it's a view from a mostly unseen facet of the jewel of the real.

When I'm "in the zone" (if you know what I mean) love doesn't look like a verb but rather a noun.  Love just IS.  "In the zone" it seems to me that it's one of the handful of primal forces.  

When I then look at the human experience of love, it becomes a verb.  I think that's because it's one of the places where our linear material existance crosses over and completely synchs up with the non material so that, even within our incarnate moments, the Universe is whole and complete.

No wonder Love turns us upside down and inside out and we can never quite understand it.  

When I look closer (still in the zone) at individual human experiences of love I see a handful of different but related things that all come down to ONE simple pattern.  

Something about the combination of one human presentation to another human presentation in a particular time and place allows everything to line up just so and The Door opens and Love -- real Love, the noun, that primal force is present to the absolute degree that that particular human combination can manage.

I always see it like a really complex  combination lock lining up for some reason and the door coming open.

We never REALLY understand it, but if we are lucky we learn a handful of different patterns that will get us THERE from where ever HERE is.  For some lucky people, it's a soul mate.  Friend or lover or sibling or whatever, it doesn't matter.  It's just that with that particular combination, we know that between the two of us and the material world, we can hit the combination and get that door open so Love can come through.

It's really nice when that's and equal balanced give and take relationship where both people take care of each other beautifully.  That does actually happen.  But it's not what it's all about.  It's getting to the Force that is Love and being able to tune into THAT primal energy effectively without hitting all the other primals.

But because of human history and sociology and psychology and conditioning and a hundred thousand other threads that make up our pattern in any moment -- each thread, just a thread but in braided combination a Net of the Now so strong and tightly woven that it takes some kind of hero to move independant of it -- We often discover our partners that can open the doorway to Love (the noun) are puzzle pieces that match our woundedness.  And then Love heals our wounds and our partner no longer quite work.  We have to then choose between this human experience of Love (the verb) and growth and development -- yet another but different expression of Love (the noun)  

I hate it when that happens.  

On the other hand, when you experience Love as one of the primal forces enough times and through enough disparate and surprising combinations, sometimes something goes "click" in the linear human understanding and you recognize that Love (the noun) is always there always available, and you start to understand that you can learn to just dance the combinations to keep The Door open or to open it from where ever you find yourself.

So, when people say "Love Yourself" that really is A right answer, even though it's not as much The Right Answer as it sounds.  If you can Love Yourself -- GREAT!  If you can't, love (the verb) everything you can to the degree that you are able and just let love show up and teach you how to close the distances you can't quite do today.

You are working in a realm where thoughts=reality.  Both are correct.  If you think you can get possesed then you can.  You will find a way to make it happen.  If you think you are perfectly safe, then you are perfectly safe.  If you fear NEG's, then you will attract them.  If you have Love in your heart, then you will attract Love.  Like attracts Like.

A small qualifier to the qualifier:

One "catch" here that sometimes trips people up is that "thoughts=reality" very much includes thoughts we don't even know we have.  

So, people who grew up through certain kinds of belief systems that they wisely rejected even as children have those thought patterns written somewhere hidden within and thus available to bend the shape astral reality.    There are a number of other ways that can happen, all pretty much idiosyncratic.

Then fear attracts negs and the negs are hard to deal with because you don't have real access to yourself.

So, it's an indicator and a doorway in to greater personal clarity.

This seems to be moving away from jokes... how are German poems and people praying for others getting healed funny?

mea culpa.  

Thought our posts fit neatly under "uplifting"   "and AND SUCH covers a vast plane.  

I read this as "UPLIFTING jokes funny STORIES AND SUCH" (caps obviously mine)   I personally appreciated AuraMassageArt's Lourdes story.

Won't  happen again.

"Using words to describe magic is like using a screwdriver to cut roast beef"    

Tom Robbins quotes (American novelist. b.1936)

An added dimension to glass half empty or half full.

"It depends on whether I am filling it or drinking it."

Or floating, balanced between specific gravites, enjoying delight of the surface tension?

Reappeared by courtesy of Amir.  Deep gratitude to you.

XXIX (SECOND PART)

Silent friend of many distances, feel
how your breath enlarges space.  From the dark
Rafters of the belfry let the peal
Of yourself ring out, each bat becomes a lark,
Singing its exuberance to the harrier.
Be easeful as your morph from shape to shape.
What changed you from a shadow to a warrior?
If the grain tastes bitter, make yourself the grape.
In this tumultuous night flicker as the flame
Of magic at the crossroads where every sense
Meets every other.  Live their confluence.
Don't worry if the night forgets your name.
Affirm to the quiet earth:  I flow.
Play to the crowded water, pianissimo.

You may read German better than I, so here it is in the original,

XXIX (ZWEITER TEIL)

Stiller Freund der vielen Fernen, fühle
wie dein Atem noch den Raum vermehrt.
Im Gebalk der finstern Glockenstühle
laß dich läuten. Das, was an dir zehrt,

wird ein Starkes über dieser Nahrung.
Geh in der Verwandlung aus und ein.
Was ist deine leidenste Erfahrung?
Ist dir Trinken bitter, werde Wein.

Sei in dieser Nacht aus Übermaß
Zauberkraft am Kreuzweg deiner Sinne,
ihrer seltsamen Begegnung Sinn.

Und wenn dich das Irdische vergaß,
zu der stillen Erde sag: Ich rinne.
Zu dem raschen Wasser sprich: Ich bin

 Rainer Maria Rilke

Basics:

As above so below (operate on one to change the other)

The Word (symbol) rules the object but the object is always more than any Word

Concept is energy.  To make it work, link it to something that will ground it in the material without  constant (constantly wavering) human attention

Is that any help?  Pretty open ended question.

To go where I'm asked to go and do what I'm asked to do and take it as a sacred charge to bring joy to the journey.

Hypnosis is a tool, and can be very effective.

One aspect of the tool is the tendency of the hypnotists prejudice and limitation to affect the outcome.  Like most tools, the more you use that particular tool, the more the tool itself shapes the result.

EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEK!

As a child raised "astrally aware" I am FREAKING OUT reading this questions.  So take what I say with a grain of salt, considering that context.

Ahem.

Children are born awake and aware and learn to ignore and to refrain from behaviors.  Children are BORN astrally aware.  

Much of the problem with the pursuit of spiritual truth as an adult is UNlearning early conditioned lessons.

Kids have natural development stages spiritually, just like they do physically, mentally, and emotionally.

I'd like to suggest that it's possible that nobody but your child knows how you can raise your child astrally aware.

Because of my own scary childhood and its consequences, I'd like to point out that astral practices that are appropriate for adults are not necessarily appropriate for children.  You wouldn't let a two year old play in the middle of a busy street nor would you send your infant alone to a rock concert.  Yet, with every benevolent intention, well meaning adults do just those sort of things to their own much beloved children.

What if you let your child teach you?  What if you took the opportunity to touch your own natural awareness as you followed her through her own natural experience, honoring what she sees as real all the while helping her to understand that there are human sets of social rules that while perhaps not so important on a cosmic level are as important as following the rules of a game -- they let everyone play together nice without tipping over the game board.

Or I might just be speaking out of my own woundedness.  

Huzzah for your little one to have a parent who cares so much!

Presbyterian minister -- relationship melted down and he left the   church but inheirited enough money to travel around the country doing whatever he can where ever he can.  Sort of a mystic with makita power tools ready to work on whatever materially needs fixing.  We're still close friends.  I came back to life and left the mainstream work world as a result of this relationship.  

Shaman trained under Rolling Thunder - Died in a motorcycle accident.  I became more intense and authentic in my spirtuality.  

Current - - LOTS of incredibly hard work.  Moments of transcendence.  Nearly infinite and mostly inexplicable "material world" challenge.  We have agreed that we need to split up, simply because we can't sustain the material world challenges but the love, trust, and committment is still there.  We gave it a year to disengage, keeping an open mind that by letting go over the next year it might sort itself out.

Our culture incorrectly casts intimacy as this warm cuddly soft place.  I don't know, maybe it's a throwback to the womb and infancy.    

The truth as far as I can see, is that real intimacy is thermonuclear -- and not for the faint of heart.  

The deeper into intimacy, the greater the very real exposure and vulnerability.  Trying to "protect" the union and the intimacy with care decreases authenticity -- which decreases the level of risk but also decreases the intimacy.

My experience is that relationships with deep spiritual practice bring up all the garbage I'm still carrying.  Except -- I've worked my butt for years, so the garbage it brings up is the stuff that I didn't even know it was there.  And then, SURE it's "not mine" with it coming up when I'm so close to someone it sure as hell looks like their stuff.

Real intimacy seems to me to be thermonuclear.  If you get in deep and with good spiritual presence and continued work then there's a ready fire to burn up the chaff.  But it's a tricky balance and for most of us it seems to be fission instead of fusion reactions.  BOOM!

I love knowing that people like Rastus and his wife exist.  To me they seem like the rare and special "paired stars" in astronomy.  

I have seen that some kinds of spiritual PRACTICE can make relatioships within a developing spiritual context work beautifully, but that's always seems to me to be because that particular practice takes mutal precidence in the partners lives and dictates when and how intimacy will be descalated to maintain balance.

"only heros will laugh only sages will smile"

The problem between men and women is that we simply do not know each other's experiences.  For instance, women talking about the horrible tortuous trevails of giving birth.  But for all men may know, it might just tickle and that women are being vast whimps about it.

Leo,

It is different for women . . . not just the experience and energetics of sex but some of the other energetic experiences as well.

Having agreed there, the "working with unmet lust" as a technique for spiritual expansion and growth was something I learned from a MAN who has never been my lover -- but is a very dear friend.  Much of his energy work centered around various practices of sexual magic, tantric sex and all kinds of related things.  I knew him both in his frustrated celibacy and his interesting and active sexual life.

For whatever reason, I have been fortunate to have powerful intelligent men as both lovers and friends.  Stranger still, men TALK with me about their experience.  It helps that I'm a psychic and an empath.    

No, it's not the same thing as being there.  Nope, I'm not a man.

I know men (as well as women) who repress their sexuality with great intensity because they are pursuing spiritual and energetic enlightenment.  Sometimes this is helpful and sometimes it isn't.  Sex (including masturbation) is an energy and attention release and distraction.  Sometimes that space of abstinance is helpful, and sometimes it is indescribably destructive.  

"so when a woman says that she can prefer not to masterbate in order to have a vacuum that will help draw her toward a relationship, many men would find this incomprehensible.  After two days most men would begin to start humping the pews in Church.  Sexual tension is not a polite thing to walk around with in one's pocket.  It also tosses off the judgment.  One begins pay attention to women one ordinarily would find invisible, or possibly would even avoid."

Some women are like that too, you know.  It's just not talked about as freely.  

I don't think masturbation is a bad thing.  It's part of the full spectrum of legitmate sexual practice and experience.    

Your analogy to eating is perfect.  For some people, fasting is a part of their practice and spiritual growth.  For others, eating vegan is a must.  Some intentionally engage with the culture -- drive through fast food
and all -- as part of their practice and energetics.  Each choice has implications and consequences.  For a diabetic, fasting is a serious problem.  Presuming that one choice is the only workable option leaves all kinds of possibilities unexplored.  

I haven't kept up on my reading in the forum, so this may have already been discussed, but there are all kinds of interesting astral implications to masturbation.   If you are mentally focused on a specific individual as part of the experience, for some people that forms a connection and the "solo sex" actually becomes a shared energetic experience.   This is not limited to psychics -- it's remarkably common.  

I liked the "get a cat" post as well.  Most men and women are unable to bond without the sexaul dynamics getting in the way.  Hence they wry: "A gay man is a girl's best friend"  There are things outside of sex that deeply connected men and women provide for each other.  That's not something appropriate for everyone either.  

I was mostly surprised that this interesting line of discussion took off in a particular direction and other issues weren't being addressed.

This has been interesting reading.

I was surprised that given the nature of this forum, there was no discussion about astral projection in combination with sexual suppression and/or masturbation.

sigh.  Or it could be that this has been discussed in detail before and my ignorance of the forum is showing  . . . again.

Still . . . a couple of comments on the original topic.


It's been my experience that if you work to support your own lifefulness and the level of life energy of the world around you, that everything -- even sexual suppression -- works to move you to a higher energy level.

Sometimes sexual suppression is about hidden wisdom.  Creating an energy imbalance can move us through blocks.  Also, the univese has a particular interest in vacuumes.  Aware longing draws us to whatever we are lacking.

That's the point where masturbation becomes just another interesting factor in the equation.  

If at some level you have been celibate to create a greater opening in yourself, for growth and to draw a more perfect lover into your life, sexual release of any kind can be unhelpful . . . or it might just be the right time for a shift.

Then, there is the way we interact in community -- both materially and astrally.  I have had a handful of powerful friends throughout my life who appear to be sexually obsessed -- and yet rarely have lovers.  Psychology fills libraries with writing on this subject, but energetically these people run around "waking up" the dormant sexual energies of everyone else.  

I tend toward sexual repression myself.  Yet, it's become rather obvious to my friends who work so hard in the "meet and greet" mating networks that when the Universe feels that it's time for me to have a lover, it happens.  Twice can be coincidence, but in my last three relationships (yes, I'm OLD so that makes for lots of years of opportunity!) the right man just appeared out of nowhere, at my door, with no effort on my part.  One of them claimed that I pulled him out of Presbyterian seminary half a continent away.  

I don't practice sexual magic -- but I do work on my own physical/emotiona/psychological/energic stuff all the time.  Much of that involves cycles of abundance and appararent lack -- I have at long last come to realize that it's the place where the sea meets the shore that has the greatest lifefulness and I'm learning to work with the void as well as the manifest.  

Not to interrupt and interesting line of talk, guys, but I thought perhaps a few words might open up some lines from people who know a lot more than I do in these areas.  

Safe journey

I had good luck with just B-complex vitamins for some social anxiety situations.  I also keep a chewable herbal product from Solaray called "ginger trips" that's just ginger and honey.  Between the B-complex and the ginger and coffee to decrease my psychic sensitivity (which increases the need for b-complex and ginger -- sigh)  I can handle doing most of what I have to do.

Most drugs don't work on me but at at the moment lorazepam makes all the difference in the world in extreme circumstances.   I hate taking drugs at all, so I wait until the absolute last minute to take it and don't take it very often usually as little as the minimum dose every 4 - 6 weeks.  

All lorazepam does when I take it is keep me from that ever escalating "bouncing off the walls" panic -- it's just enough that I can effectively work meditative techniqes and energy practice.  Before the lorazepam, once I crossed a certain theshold, all the techniques and practice did was keep my external appearance smooth and extend the amount of time I could endure.  Before lorazepam, it usually took me weeks to come down once I crossed the panic threshold.  I would retrigger over next to nothing.  Lorazepam hauls me back over the precipice onto solid footing and cuts my recovery time to one good night's sleep.

Oh yeah . . .and I can GET that "good night's sleep" that was unavailable to me before.

The biggest benefit has not been the drug benefit.  Because I now have a tool that normal people understand and fit in with accepted cultral patterns, I can take a relaxed approach to a thousand social circumstances that would have been minefields before.  The worst of social anxiety for me wasn't the anxiety attacks them selves -- nor the interpersonal attacks that come from being different.  The worst of it was the extra work and constrant stress of calculating cost/benefit of both engaging and avoiding potentially explosive circumstances.  

People who do not understand believe this is a lack of courage.  It's nothing of the sort.  You know you have a certain resource level and it's needful to budget.  Meanwhile, the bank has to be refilled and some of that requires going Out There.

With lorazepam, I still experience it all.  It's just manageable, plus, I don't have to waste my energy assessing whether I can afford to take the risk.  I just risk, because now I have a parachute.

Throughout my life, I have balanced the social anxiety with an understanding of the benfit.  There's benfit in damn near everything if you can dig deep enough.  

My social anxiety has demanded that I be intentional about my interactions.  Sleep walking through life has never been an option.  I have a lot of friends, most of whom are closer than most people's families.  Part of that is the way my cultural limitation means that I invest myself with great care.  Part of it is that the very things that create the tendency to social anxiety make me sensitive to what's really going on with other people.  Normal people in this culture are starved for their own authenticity.  A lifetime of facing the dilemnas involved means that courage and genuine humility are now habit.    

You and I have to live with our authenticity.  That's a privlige disguised as a punishment and hidden under the cover of panic.  Peer pressure has never been much of a limiter in my life.  The sword cuts both ways.  Social inclusion has it's price just as it has it's benefits.  

You are not your fear.  It's an energy field around you -- not you.  Working through that field bring mastery that extends to other areas.

I'm just so impressed at how you are working with this.

Hello Chimera and Cube,

I found a link to another post, where the process is described in much better detail:

http://www.astralpulse.com/forums/viewtopic.php?t=14552&highlight=

Cheers from Denmark,

I'm confused.  What happens next in terms of the birth of this forum you requested?  Should future posts be under the link above?

I feel a need to respond to this, but nothing floats to the top to be said.  Anything more?