Weird
even samurai have teddy bears and even the teddy bears get drunk
- ?
I am pork boy, the breakfast monkey.
- All That
Dog for sale: eats anything and is fond of children
- Classified Ad
"Some people may think you're cute, Babe. But to me you're one very large baked potato!" -- Sylvester Stallone in Death Race 2000
- Death Race 2000
you did your math strategies wrong. there is no missing dollar. the men started out with thirty, 25 of that is with the manager, 2 of it is with the bellhop and they each have one dollar.
- Emily
Hippies, hippies... they want to save the world but all they do is smoke pot and play frisbee!
- Eric Cartman, "Southpark"
I shot an elephant in my pants. How he got there I'll never know.
- Groucho Marx
rabbits clinkity, clinkity, clink. Hello Mr. Zebra can i have your sweater cause its cold cold cold in my hole hole hole.
- Guess Who
I wish everybody would have to have an electric thing implanted in our heads that gave us a shoc k whenever we did something to disobey the president. Then somehow I get myself elected president.
- Jack Handey
If you ever drop your keys into a pool of lava, forget about them, cuz man, they're gone
- Jack Handey
I've been talking to dead rabbits and feeding bloody walls. I've done horrifying things with salad tongs. It's really eaten into my social life.
- Jhonen Vasquez
If purple monkeys weren't meant to fly then why do i only see them when I'm high?
- Joe
You can lead a horse to water, but if you can get him to lay down on his back and float in it, then you have something.
- Joe E. Brown
What I want to know is where the hell can you get a hotel room for $25.00?
- Larry
"You know I always thought unicorns were fabulous creatures too, although I never saw one alive before." "Well, now that we have met," said the unicorn, "If you'll believe in me, I'll believe in you."
- Lewis Carrol, "Throught The Looking Glass"
"If Pete fails the test, he'll look like a sucker and end up waxing floors like Cecil Tucker"
- Pete And Pete
I didn't expect her to counter my plan with nakedness.
- Riff (Of Pete Abrams' Sluggy Freelance)
A man walks up to a strange beast in the dessert, after many days of walking. He is at the point of exhaustion when he sees that the beast is eating its own heart. He says, "Why are you eating your heart?" And the beast replies, "I eat it because i like its bitter taste, and because it is my heart."
- Stephen Crane
You can't trample infidels when you're a tortoise. I mean, all you could do is give them a meaningful look.
- Terry Pratchett
The leading thief glared at the solid stone that had swallowed Mort, and then threw down his knife. 'Well, ----me,' he said. 'A ----ing wizard. I HATE ----ing wizards!' 'You shouldn't ---- them, then,' muttered one of his henchmen, effortlessly pronouncing a row of dashes.
- Terry Pratchett, "Mort: A Discworld Novel"
" you know what happens to popular people...They get fat"
- Unknown
fides quaerens intellectum
even samurai have teddy bears and even the teddy bears get drunk
- ?
I am pork boy, the breakfast monkey.
- All That
Dog for sale: eats anything and is fond of children
- Classified Ad
"Some people may think you're cute, Babe. But to me you're one very large baked potato!" -- Sylvester Stallone in Death Race 2000
- Death Race 2000
you did your math strategies wrong. there is no missing dollar. the men started out with thirty, 25 of that is with the manager, 2 of it is with the bellhop and they each have one dollar.
- Emily
Hippies, hippies... they want to save the world but all they do is smoke pot and play frisbee!
- Eric Cartman, "Southpark"
I shot an elephant in my pants. How he got there I'll never know.
- Groucho Marx
rabbits clinkity, clinkity, clink. Hello Mr. Zebra can i have your sweater cause its cold cold cold in my hole hole hole.
- Guess Who
I wish everybody would have to have an electric thing implanted in our heads that gave us a shoc k whenever we did something to disobey the president. Then somehow I get myself elected president.
- Jack Handey
If you ever drop your keys into a pool of lava, forget about them, cuz man, they're gone
- Jack Handey
I've been talking to dead rabbits and feeding bloody walls. I've done horrifying things with salad tongs. It's really eaten into my social life.
- Jhonen Vasquez
If purple monkeys weren't meant to fly then why do i only see them when I'm high?
- Joe
You can lead a horse to water, but if you can get him to lay down on his back and float in it, then you have something.
- Joe E. Brown
What I want to know is where the hell can you get a hotel room for $25.00?
- Larry
"You know I always thought unicorns were fabulous creatures too, although I never saw one alive before." "Well, now that we have met," said the unicorn, "If you'll believe in me, I'll believe in you."
- Lewis Carrol, "Throught The Looking Glass"
"If Pete fails the test, he'll look like a sucker and end up waxing floors like Cecil Tucker"
- Pete And Pete
I didn't expect her to counter my plan with nakedness.
- Riff (Of Pete Abrams' Sluggy Freelance)
A man walks up to a strange beast in the dessert, after many days of walking. He is at the point of exhaustion when he sees that the beast is eating its own heart. He says, "Why are you eating your heart?" And the beast replies, "I eat it because i like its bitter taste, and because it is my heart."
- Stephen Crane
You can't trample infidels when you're a tortoise. I mean, all you could do is give them a meaningful look.
- Terry Pratchett
The leading thief glared at the solid stone that had swallowed Mort, and then threw down his knife. 'Well, ----me,' he said. 'A ----ing wizard. I HATE ----ing wizards!' 'You shouldn't ---- them, then,' muttered one of his henchmen, effortlessly pronouncing a row of dashes.
- Terry Pratchett, "Mort: A Discworld Novel"
" you know what happens to popular people...They get fat"
- Unknown
fides quaerens intellectum