I know of your problem, and what i dont see being considered is that she may have tried (and failed), wanted to try but didnt know how, or knew someone who tried to do (roughly) what you are trying to, and failed/wasted their time.
I know that it is difficult to do, but put a little more effort into considering her position than just "She doesnt want me to do this/be happy". More often than not, there is a "why" in her that doesnt believe what you are doing is a positive thing.
I hope that you do not go down either easy path of leaving or staying and putting up with it. Eight years is a lot to walk away from, and also a long time for changes not to happen. Find out how and why she feels like she does, and until then, nothing can be changed to help both of you.
I know that it is difficult to do, but put a little more effort into considering her position than just "She doesnt want me to do this/be happy". More often than not, there is a "why" in her that doesnt believe what you are doing is a positive thing.
I hope that you do not go down either easy path of leaving or staying and putting up with it. Eight years is a lot to walk away from, and also a long time for changes not to happen. Find out how and why she feels like she does, and until then, nothing can be changed to help both of you.