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Have not been here in a few months, don't know why actually, maybe because my bookmarks got erased..and also i drifted into the daily grind, the routine that manages to (make me) kill anything productive that i do

I also had a sort of an psychological crisis, nothing serious just a case of very blue days that catch up with me from time to time ( well not so much in the last few years as they did before) and make me wonder about me, my life and the moments where i've let myself down, and question a lot of things in my life...

Well i've worked trough it, and these things aren't bad and somehow they put me back in perspective to push myself again to try to keep my own promises and give me a sort of resolve and momentum...

so to get to the point .... it also torns me back to the things that make me truly happy in life, and one very big thing in that box is the blessing of OBEs, meditation, and (light magick that have found their way into my life now about six years ago  and made it so much richer and more fulfilled

So now i come to my point, just to say thanks to you people that make this wonderful community that inspires, motivates and keeps pushing me to stay on track while also making me realize i can go in any direction i want in this world and feel it, explore it and enjoy it

I didn't realize this post would be so long, and sorry for maybe sounding corny but i can't help it

http://vandalay.deviantart.com

Well here's the link to my deviantart gallery, so check  it out if you will

Regarding to the genesis...i found interesting the fact, that people fell from heaven after knowing the difference of wrong from right...Its in those words i found the one thing about the story that i really like. Because when you look at it in the opposite direction, to "get back in heaven" we must be free of "knowing the difference between wrong from right", but not in a way of being blind and not knowing the difference,but to go to a higher level of understanding where we can with a holistic view realize the fact, like the teaching of buddhism, that there is no wrong or right, that it is merely a concept bound to our point of view.

Sorry if the spelling or grammar are bad.

nice ending

actually, you can find ( in fact i think even here) information about astral projection or similar practices mentioned in the bible, there's nothing evil about it. And also, there is nothing wrong in following the bible if you wish to do so, but i think God would like it  even more for you to make your own decisions and conclusions, and to ponder a bit what the bible really has to say instead of accepting explanations offered to you by the church or anyone else 

How did they get her to fall asleep??

Amazing expirience, really impressed me...

i read about that in a book about chakra work...it said that vertigo or feeling dizzy are just side effects that occur because you're not used to those amounts of energy, and that it will just go away in a short period when you get used/adapt to higher levels of energy passing trough your body

i just believe that no bad thing could happen from positive thinking about the Earth, and just dedicating an hour to this wonderful planet we live on, and just being grateful for it...i also belive that the changeing of attitude towards nature and our enviroment is the most crucial thing to change the way we have been treating our planet, and i don't see who would have anything against it...

and the whole reverse speech thing, well its scary that a person can devote her life to just manufacturing paranoia for herself..its just bits and pieces cut out of a much bigger thing and manipulated that still don't make any sense until you read what it supposedly says, and even then its reeeeally sketchy

anyway i'm just looking forward to firing the grid  

P.S. I think the site has trouble when it calculates the timezones, cause it says that my time is 1:11PM wich is GMT+2 and my timezone is GMT+1 so maybe its better to calculate it for yourself

i was awake/body asleep in my bed and made music by thought...it was the most fun i've had almost ever ..and also i could change the vocals into vocals of different singers i like and the chord structure, the bass line, everything... and i would modify it as i liked and by itself it did the best crossovers from one part to another...i even had the tune in my head when i got up, but the lyrics which i also "wrote" during the song fleeted a few seconds after i got up

and also durnig many dreams i've heard "new songs" of some of my favourite bands...that was really fun

I've smoked marijuana for several years, i don't anymore (well maybe on some occasions, but thats rare) , and with a majority of pothead friends, one thing comes to conclusion.
A joint here or there won't do you much harm, but if you smoke it regularly sh*t' is gonna happen.

The whole bad memory, and being a bit slower in your reactions, well thats not much of a problem. But frequent use of marijuana will lead to some changes that will come on slow but they are hard to kick, and can make your life go for the worse.

Depression is a big issue, feeling burned out, neurosis, being uncomfortable in social situations, your temper getting very short, a wide range of compulsive patterns in your behaviour, your concentration going down the drain,  it fucks up your nervous system as well as the damage you do to your lungs, which is really bad btw.

Most of these syptoms i have/had for myself, and all my friends who do smoke suffer(ed) from this.

I'm not trying to preach cause in the end you'll do what you will, and IMHO the whole sea of scientific research going pro or contra marijuana leaves you with a feeling that the reasearches can be swayed one way or the other like with any controversial topic in science (global warming etc.)

This is just my expirience, and hopefully it will make a difference with someone not making the same mistakes as i did. So my advice is if you are gonna use marijuana...
Be moderate ( and thats really not as easy as it seems),
don't do marijuana as a relief from your problems or a mood elevator,
don't do it with people you don't feel comfortable with,
and make brownies and eat it because its a sooo much better expirience than smoking, and it doesn't damage your lungs

Hope i didn't bore you to death, but i just felt i had to say this, and sorry for any spelling or grammatical errors

me and my girlfriend at my birthday party last may, we're a tiny bit drunk and making Zoolanderish model faces at the camera  

Does anyone like this band?
Well they have an album with a theme/leitmotif of sleep paralysis/LD/AP streaching trough it. The album is called "El cielo".
Its pretty straightforward in referencing to these things mostly in this song


Dredg - Scissor lock

I think I'm awake
rolling
(picking up auditory hallucinations)
on my blanket
I am sinking

into the bed
lying around me
are beautiful washes of pulsating color
buzzing white noise
sounds like one hundred bees

I too once thought the radio played
let's act like children while we sleep paralyzed
I too once thought the radio played
let's act like children while we sleep paralyzed

losing your control here
your body is asleep
and your mind is awake

I too once thought the radio played
let's act like children while we sleep paralyzed
I too once thought the radio played
let's act like children while we sleep paralyzed

[spoken word]

I too once thought the radio played
let's act like children while we sleep paralyzed

well their music is imo very good, they play a kind of alt rock with a great rhythm section. Anyway i was just curious if anyone likes them.

i try to focus on it, because when in that state i seem to be very aware that those are not physical sensations and that my teeth aren't gonna be really ripped out
going to try relaxing more, but it happens mostly when i wake up, and get right back into dreaming but this time aware

thanks for the advice

When i'm kinda on the edge of projecting, when i'm in my bed but aware that i'm actually asleep i get some sort of vibrations. The problem is they're not the real vibrations at least nothe rumbling roaring ones that i had when i returned to my body from a couple of false awakenings.
These vibrations seem faster more buzzing like, and they result in an enormous amount of tension based mostly in my mouth, actually pressure in my teeth. Sometimes they get almost really painful. And just today when napping/attempting ap  i got into the same situation.
I also tried closing my upper and lower jaw, and while doing that  i felt the strong sort of magnetic resistance.
Any thoughts to what this is, and how to deal with it if i have to?
And also could it be a result of me having a fair amount of fillings in my teeth?

Thanks 

But i don't get why would you want to convert to Islam, or any other religion for that matter when you already seem to have enough knowledge to follow your own spiritual path. I mean why limit yourself, or label yourself ?

(S)he's not talking about Reptilians....The reptilian brain is the oldest part of our brains, the limbic core etc. ..if a brain's a mushroom, the reptilian brain would be the stem

I mean, if you ask for a lot of money, ppl are going to take it much more seriously, don't you think?

it's my opinion, but i take the free things much more serious than the 700$ lessons, i kinda trust more a person that offers knowledge without wanting something in return, it seems much more sincere and "enlightened" so to speak
well i always felt that knowledge should be shared, and basically from what i know you cannot use reiki for a bad purpose...i don't know, i just found that the best things in life are for free (free as in not materially priced), and involving more money than necessary into spiritual work, well seems wrong to me...i feel that these things should not be about money....

sorry for the bad spelling 

acctually my question was more focused on ,why the whole initiation thing ?  but speaking of paying... alot of spiritual seminars, workshops etc. are really really expensive....it's kinda ironic how people pay some guy alot of money so he would tell them how to attract money in their lives....i don't mean to be ignorant, i know everything is expensive , the whole organisation of such events, but i think alot of this stuff is very very overpriced...what do they need the money for, some of these, in their words,very enlightened people ? Shouldn't they just share the knowledge? Or share it on a criteria other than money?

Why is there so much emphasis on the "initation" in Reki, and a master has to initiate you for you to be able to give Reiki..but the whole process doesn't take longer than a weekend session, a copule hours every day ( this is information from a few books about reiki)....Why does every book on reiki insist that i give a (in my case, large) amount of money for someone to initiate me....

i believe you can heal yourself and others just by energy work and developing yourself , but this thing in reiki just bugs me and i was wondering if there is a logical answer to it

tnx

looks interesting, gonna give it a shot, maybe i'll see you on the music charts

great show, guess my favourite character was their dad

i like them alot, one of my favourite bands.. especially Lateralus, wich is IMO one of the best albums ever, when taken as a whole.....

10000 days...well kinda i expected a better album from them, but its still good music...

i'm not accusing you, sorry if it came out that way i wish you all the best, and just wish you see that there is nothing to be depressed about

and btw, you should watch donnie darko again it's almost the same to what you are describing

i think it has been lifted. my abilties are still cloudy though. and 2012 isnt going to be a huge battle. i dont think. im basing this on what i remember. what i see is a timeline. i look at people, or within myself, and i see a timeline, like railroad tracks. they're grey on a bluish black background. i see the events on the time line as swirls of energy, much like a spider's nest. now i look at my timeline and its black. but i think the black is lifting. and im trying to use this time to reconstruct my timeline as i see fit. and btw, im not looking to the negative, im just very alarmed when i black mass covers my future. the last time anything like that happened, my life fell apart.

i'm not an active member, a former jonas ridgeway forum member, i read alot of this forum and dont write, but i kinda feel i have to say this...

first i do not mean to be offensive, and sorry if i'm wrong, but this and very much most of your posts (erynys) sound...well...fake
(this one keeping millimeters away form exactly replicating the way seeing a timeline was pictured in Donnie Darko)
And one thing that confuses me alot is that you claim to have a vast expirience and abilities in magick, astral travel etc. but somehow still sound as a troubled, and depressed teenager. That kinda doesn't fit together, at least in my opinion and expirience, cause the expiriences i gained in the view of oobeing, lucid dreaming, and even some drug induced states, and the feeling of inner growth that fills you when you start to "open up" spiritually, has for sure made me a better and a very very much happier person, and made me realise some of the mistakes i've made and had been making with keeping myself depressed, heavy heavy drinking, and drug abuse.

And the funny thing is i got into OOBEs a few years before i started drinking, but about the time i was 17 i kinda kept it in my mind, but somehow i just cracked, and for the next few years just kept getting deeper into it, especially alcohol. And the sad truth is the more you drink, the more depressed you get, and the you drink even more..and it basically turns to crap, and you start to show more and more compulsive and addictive behaviour in every aspect of your life, finding every day more reasons to feel bad about yourself.

Sorry that this has got a bit long, but my point is, if you have the spiritual knowledge you claim to have, or even if you don't (wich IMHO is the case, sorry) you still are informed about it more than 70% of the worlds population, just use that knowledge to make a better life for yourself, you're the only one responsible for the way it will all turn out to be...so just reach and feel the true love inside and outside of you, it will make everything better and easier.