Quote from: Dragon #103 on December 29, 2006, 17:04:40
Hello again. I hope that I am not posting too often. I'd hate to be an annoyance to anyone.
I've had this irrational fear for eight years which disallows me to feel safe while alone. I can not be in a room by myself without having to (and frequently) look over my shoulder. I do this because I fear someone may be sneaking up behind me with a knife or a gun.
The killer I imagine sneaking up on me looks a lot like the killer from the movie Scream 3. This is the movie I watched when I was in grade 3, and that's when this fear began. For some reason, it has never gone away, and as strange as it may seem any horror movies I see now seem really cheesy and tawdry to me despite my fear.
All of the trance inducing techniques I've heard of require that I close my eyes for a long period of time, yet my fear makes me open my eyes to check beside the bed, or in the closet to make sure nobody is there, breaking whatever progress I have made.
I've been to many doctors, and tried a few different kinds of medication: Melatonin, Resperadol, and now I am using 2.5 mg of a mood stabilizer like Serotonin. Each one helps with the fear, but as a tradeoff, they reduce my ability to think or feel emotion, which I don't want, I'd rather have the fear. Yet I still beleive that there is a way for me to get rid of my fears without having to make compremises by reducing my mental or creative ability in some way. I don't think I will be too successful with OBEs while I have this fear.
What should I do?
Thanks!
i know how you feel, I've been scared for years ever since i saw the movie, the exorsist.
i think im going to be possesed. Im on lots and lots of medication and the medication helps, i had the same problem with feelings in the beginning i felt less and less almost nothing. but now im on other medications and im not empty and neutral anymore. i feel good, but i still have problems. with or without medication you have to work on your problems. go to therapy people with ocd and social anxiety do it and get well, and if they can you can do it too , trust me.
I don't know a lot about magic or meditation but you should find a big thick three you like and sit with your back against it for a while and try to feel how it calms you down.
Threes always make me feel safe, it's like getting a big hug from someone that says: i know you like me and i like you too and there is nothing you can do to change that.
Kind of like how a pet like or love you.
You should find a way to feel calm and to take back the control again the first step is to
Realize that your fear is a disease or if you don't see it that way a irrational fear. which you know, so jippieyay for you (hehe)
Try to imagine that this someone is holding a flower or rubber knife or is dressed in pink. And tell him/her or think that your telling him/her your not dangerous cause your just a pink elephant with a stupid rubber knife. My psychologist told me that once and i was filled with doubt but it helped at least a little bit. You may never loose this fear you may have it for a very long time but it can get better, and it will if you are willing to make it so. so dont give up
good luck
