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Hey guys. I've come across a newsletter that speaks of an organization or rather a group of people that have learned to control thier immune system, and help heal themselves of cancers, pains, viruses, and diseases among other things. You can learn to use this 'tool' of your own natural body to help heal yourself aswell as others even, with intent to do so, through not just your physical body, but all of your other bodies aswell.

The website is www.Immunics.org  and really can help people. Just thought i'de help bring an idea to light, that can aid anyone in thier search to heal themselves and bring themselves closer to thier personal goals.

I've been sick off and on from a serious sickness, to a light thing, then serious, then light, from everything from depressive athsma attacks, to the comman cold, then respiritory sickness, and headaches....

This all started last April/May time frame, due to stresses of multiple aspects of my life bombarding me, and bad spirit influences. I'm getting fed up with not being completely healthy for more than 2 days at a time. I havent been makeing an effort to do anything about anything as of late, due to personal lack of motivation, satisfaction, and choice makeing.

What makes me worry about some issues, is that I've been helping a friend out with a Neg problem she's had since she was born; to remove it from her. A few weeks ago she out of the blue began to experience happyness and vibrant energies, for once in her life. But she thought at that point that she was free of the neg, so she began slacking off with her energy work, when i had warned her that it wasnt just going to leave her alone after so many years of being with her. Dureing the time that it was away from her, it decided to begin assaulting me because it noticed and knew that i was its biggest threat to it haveing any chance of getting back to her. As of a week ago, i think, it has returned in her, with a bit more power to keep itself with her, also haveing attachments to effect me and a mutual friend of ours [me and the girl]; inturn ruining my natural process of healing, aswell as the other 2. [ Both friends are signed up to this site. "Headackymuzicgirl" i think and "naturechicky89".... i may have misspelled the names.]

I know i could help out most of these issues on my own, but with the way things have been going i dont see it happeneing anytime soon. That brings me here at this point, to ask for help, or prayer for my healing, and well being.

Pride makes me not want to ask random but welcome strangers, to assist me, but i dont see myself helping me right now, so im doing this.

I would like to ask help of any who may be able to aid me and my friends in our healing processes. I personally give anyone who wishes to help, access to my being, if they attempt to visit me, with positive intentions.

Thank you, all.

Last night i attempted to Project.. I have a cd that i listen to, every now and then wich goes through a process of shifting the conciousness from alpha - delta waves, allowing the body to sleep while the mind stays awake[ if your not trying to intentionally pass out. Even so, if the cd is on repeat, it can trigger the mind to lucid dream more often aswell].

Well i got to a point where i knew that my body was so relaxed and asleep, that i just needed to do an exit techinque...... This is were things went wrong.....

As i was trying to 'shift' my awareness, i began to feel a pull/push to the general direction i inteded to go..... But as i was doing this, i only felt it get to a certain point, and i couldnt get it to continue any further.... I could feel how strongly i seemed to be attached to either my body, or that one point of conciousness.... No matter how much effort i put into those exit techniques i couldnt do it... i was really aggrivated and dissapointed for some reason...

To get that close to projection, and not being able to pull it off.... Anyone have any suggestions, or advise for what i could do, or should change if need be?...
I could feel my body kindof shell like, and it tingled slightly like how a limb does, when its asleep, and shifted around. I could feel myself not going any purther beyond that certain stretchy limit...

Last night during one of my strand of dreams, I ended up in a dream that took place in the house and outside of where i live, that was so increadibly solid and realistic i thought for sure i had ACTUALLY accomplished and learned to control my body in the learning stages of flight. Blarg.... Its kindof annoying me right now, because i guess i was SO immersed in this dream, because i could feel EVERYTHING that i was going through, in order to learn to do what i was doing....

I could feel the energy and its hold inside my torso, when i wanted to lift off the ground or stimulate the energy to get ready to do something... I could feel how with the grasp of energy inside of me, and my intent to 'push/pull' myself up, i would begin to raise off the ground and contort the energy in me so that it would cause myself to move in the desired direction i wanted to go it..... It felt so vivid, that it actually got my conciousness into beleiveing it had really learned to do this in 'real life'....

Dissapointed was i a few dreams later when i could begin to feel my physical body awaken, with my conciousness.... But if this is a real method on how to achieve flight in the physical... atleast i have some knowledge of how to accomplish it.... but its really hard to replicate the feeling.... oh well... Hopefully i'll get it down someday.... Till then... Cheers...

[B)] * Sitting around, minding his own business, being quite, untill he notices what time it is..[] ..... a feeling of glee encompasses himself.. [|)]..... [] .......[] ....... Bursts out into a large voice [8D] *

WOO HOO!!!!! ITS FINALLY SATERDAY!!!! WOOT!!!! IM FINALLY 17 !!!! WOO~~Y!!!! []

* And with that he sits back down, after flipping around and creating aruora borealis' all across the land.....'s..... and is contented for a short while *[^]

Heh.. had to get that out of my system...  Thanks for putting up with me.... hopefully during my 17th year i'll finally learn to achieve a concious OBE of ANY sort, and continue to do them on a steady basis... that would help both me and the people i know, dramatically. I also hope to finally get a steady girlfriend, that doesnt break upwith me, because she doesnt know how to handle a guy that is actually 'NICE' and isnt an 'moron' like so many other guys inside the area that he lives in...... * sighs, in desperation *

Love... So fickle..... only 17 but i know what true love is..... and it seems as if it eludes me on purpose..... AHK!!!.... oh well... Best of luck and happy days to Everyone!

~ Teddy [|)]

This was my post on "Dreams and Such..." in the General Metaphysics board, but i didnt really get any feed back as to what any of this could mean, or how complex my dreams really are..... but yeah.. here you go...



1) This one i had when i was a bit younger.... i think i was 12 at the time.

Setting: Aquatic realm it seemed. There was also dry land with some buildings near ocean front, but there was a MASSIVE underwater Civilization/Metropolis.

I had been swimming around, and i found a carpet of sort that floated securely on top of the water, and i got on it. during the time of finding the carpet i had met a few animals that seemed to talk. A Dolphin and a Sea Tortoise. I got on the carpet and i guess the dolphing and tortoise managed to drag the carpet along the top of the water at an increadibly fast pace, so that the carpet was skimming along the water, going on a fast water ride... it was great. then after a while i had met a woman, that had sprung from the water. She was a mermaid and very beautifle. Me and her had conversed for a while, her showing me the huge underwater civilization, and i was in awe that something so great had existed underwater. Large Palaces built of stone and coral it seemed and archways connecting some of the smaller buildings together.... it was truely wonderous to experience. [ I dont remember all of the details between what had been said between me and her, or even the animals...]
Next thing i can remember is of me and her, lieing in lounge chairs on a house patio, that was right above and next to the ocean edge, so that if you just walked off the patio into the water, it went from patio to atleast 50ft deep water. Main thing i remember about our conversation there, was of me falling in love with her, her being the princess of the underwater civilization. and her asking me if i found it odd, or if i thought it was wrong that she was over 10,000 years old... I had no problem with that... I just knew i would be with her, of whom i truely felt love for.... we had lightly kissed, and she had the most goregious [spelling?] eyes, and i was captivated..... Then things began to get dark, and the sky started to rumble as dark clouds formed. She got worried and headed toward the edge of the patio and dove into the water to warn her father, who was the king of the civilization. I had barely got to the edge, when thunder erupted and a lightning bolt crashed into the sea. I saw the whole top part of the sea, zap around from the lightning but quickly went away. I dove into the water and looked around underwater.... To see an Entire civilization wiped out, and the buildings being blackened.......
[ I doubt the lightning would affect anything underwater in the actual sea... but i was only 12 at the time and didnt know as much.] I was horrified to see such a beautifle paradise, destroyed with a single thunderclap. Then a large figure that held a lightning-trident that looked increadibly like a ticked off, Posideon with glowing eyes, confronted me, and began stabbing at me.... i dont remember much else.... i just know that i havent felt as in love with anything yet again, as i did with that Girl.....

[ yeah... these are long... sorry... ]

2) This one happened i think last year...

Setting: Ancient Greek Marble buildings and Massive fountain and pool areas.

I remember, looking around and walking around in a town square it seemed; with large statues and fountains and a fountain/pool area more towards the right, just beyond a large columned building, that seemed like a libriary. Everyone was in the nude, but there wasnt any problem with that for some reason, so i went along with it. Walking over to that raised pool/fountain area, i had walked along the outside of it, and put myhand in the water. it was fairly warm. there were people in the pool, conversing, and enjoying themselves. I had walked past thatpart farther along, to were it seemed there was a more high profiled aquaintance among the people... i had leaned over and knelt over along the edge of the smaller, more respected pool area, and there were a couple sitting along the other side about 10 feet away. The Female had looked over to me, and just waltzed herway over to me, and kissed me. This took me by suprize, and even more so, with her male-counterpart. This was not a good thing for me.. I made a double-take on the situation between her just kissing me, entranced with more for some reason, and a now 8'11 muscle-beach man, with long flowing black hair, and wings now sprouting from his back. I swiftly made my way into a small clearing about 20 ft away, and he just continued growing more angry, pulling out a large sword, covered in flames. He had stated that he had been in a Variety of wars and that he had conquered a large troop of ancient egyption warriors 4,000 years ago, and that he had to prove himself worthy time and time again to gain the approval of the one that had kissed me, and that here i am, just walking over, for her to walk right up and embrace her. He had stated a Long dignified 4-name name, and sought to destroy me at that point.... For the life of me i dont know why i didnt write down his name.... i knew it clearly wasnt anything that i would normally come up with, and the realness of the dream was astounding.... im glad that none of it happened on the physical, because i would be flat out F'ed over....

Both of these dreams seemed so increadibly real at the time, and i've been wanting to revisit these places, once i learn to conciously project. Hopefully i can figure some things out.... and meet that mermaid again.... Well.. if anyone has any idea about what these dreams could mean, or if i might be in deep guano in one particuar realm... please be flat out honest with what you think.... thank you.

Heyas everyone... This thread is dealing with a responce that was in the 'bad feeling about something' thread i previously made.

Heh... I'm not sure where to start.... but...  oh well... here it goes..

My name is Theodore Anthony Borowski Jr.  I'm currently 16, and I have had a lot happen to me, in my short time living so far. I had a fairly decent childhood, but had a bit of a rough time during my middle school years... I used to be mocked because i had long hair and i seemed to not hang out with people dureing the recesses.... [ oh how i miss such free time during school..... ] anywho.... I never had a problem with how many friends i had.... infact i had more friends than most of the people that were makeing fun of me... its interesting how things work out like that, eh?... heh heh.. but none-the-less i was still only a boy and words had some affect on me... i went through a depression period, and kindof had a release of reality, through roleplaying in chat rooms.... [ i've been roleplaying for about 8 years now.] The things that a person could go through in an imaginative world, are limitless.... and being so young and fairly vulnerable, i poured my heart into my character [ of which i still have] and i was literally rp'ing as him as if it were myself inside that situation.... That had positive and negative affects on me... I now am able to help and comfort almost anyone that i meet, and i have an open mind about things, with being able to see things through different perspectives.... but i also suffered with a lot of emotions that a 10-14 year old shouldnt have to deal with.... Things like, finding a deep and true meaning in the concept of 'love'.... loseing a 'child' and a family through them being assassinated.... being put in a situation of a 'life or death, one of us dies today' fight with one of your closest friends.... questioning reality and the true roles of our existance..... these are things that not even a lot of 40 year olds have experienced, or even considered.... but hey... i'm happy with the way things turned out.... It's made me the understanding and helpful person i am... and even though i was put into a depression [ and eventually got stuck with 2 voices, one male the other female....... you probobly have no idea how confuseing that got.... and how much more i questioned myself, due to this] all due to people mocking me.... I dont regret any of it.. infact i'm glad things turned out the way they did..... i came out for the better of it all... heh...

what else can i throw in here..... heh... oh.. i know...

Through-out all that stuff, since i was young i've always had a feeling that theres more out there than what meets the eyes[ things that delt with energies]... I was quite the mid-evil knights /honor /samurai /magics /legends /swords /martial arts /dragons /mythologies buff.... [heh... that helped out with the role playing a bit....] and i at a certain point learned that i could 'focus power/strength' through-out my body... [aahhh.. the beginings of my metaphysics endeavor...] and i was always interested in the paranormal side of things with spirits/ energies/ ufo's/ and various types of kineses's.. at one point someone i knew, in one of my classes, brought in a book... i think it was called 'How to achieve Astral Projections'.... yeah.. it was a 'how to' book, but it REALLY caught my interest.... i began looking up things that dealt with energies and astral projections... this started about 2 years ago. From that point i kindof entered an osmosis-toward-information phase, that delt with metaphysics....[] i've learned a lot so far, but there is still so much more out there that i would like to learn/experience...  Sadly i haven't achieved an astral projection yet [] but thats probobly because of my lack of relaxation due to stress/ and a place to become relaxed. And even though i've read up on so many different ways to 'project', when it comes up to the point where i feel that im as relaxed as i can be..... i go flatline on what to do from that point. *sarcastically* I get to the right conditions and have a frikken brainfart!!!.... heh.. oh well... i'll remember what to do at some point, and FINALLY be able to project... and from there ' i will gain power and help those in need [with permission by them to do so ofcourse]' .... heh... sorry... got carried away...

This is probobly getting increadibly long... heh... time flies by when you get too preoccupied, i guess.... I have other interests and hoobies, aswell, as from what i've said, but i'll leave that to another post..... Hope you guys have enjoyed what you've read, and have a better idea on how i 'tick'... heh heh...

I've posted something about this on the general metaphysics board, but i think it may have more affect here.....

around 11:30-12:15 ish Eastern Standard Time, did anybody else feel something kindof odd or bad, come over them? I've talked about this with a friend online and she sais that she feels something different/bad about to happen too.... i was just wondering if anyone else felt this...... from the way i can feel this.... its something that'll take affect on a global scale, or something similar....

I'm not typeing this to try and stir up rumors or anything, because the last thing i need is rumors.... * hates them *. i was just posting because its really wierd, and i also have the ability to post something thats also on a global scale, to see if anyone else felt anything... [8D]

[ and even though it lightened up a little, i still feel that odd sensation.]

Has anyone come across, anything about overpowering and actually takeing energy away from a Neg, or someone else who's intent was original to steal energy from the victim?.... i'm just wondering.... because i think i may have done something of the such before....

Did anyone get a really strange/bad feeling about something, sometime around 11:30pm-12:15am Eastern Standard Time?...... i have no idea what is makeing me feel this way, but for some reason, it feels as if it is occuring on a large scale...... wierd.... hhmm.....

Hey everyone. Here's something that came back to mind for me after a series of dreams I had ast night. [I've been able to remember dreams better and clearer as of late, although no success on projecting yet... [] I seem to hav forgotten what to do after trying to relax. I've been uptight lately, and now that I've been able to relax, I can't remember details!!!![!]  I'm letting a friend borrow 'Astral Dynamics' and my computer is too weak and slow for me to go browsing for too long...... Anywho........ Backto the main topic..... [|)] ]

    Every once in a while I have a dream were I literally struggle, just to be able to walk.  It feels as if all the strength in my legs has been used, and walking becomes slow and cumbersome..... It's interestingto experiencethat feeling, and also to watch the expressions of the peoples faces in the dreams. [ It may not seem actual, but thats how my dreams are. The people have thier own vivid & distinct personalities, and answer accordingly, and knowledgably according to thier persona. Especially with people I know... * eyes roll upon remembering more things*]

    Also when my legs get like that..... I get the impression, that the more I press on in that condition, the stronger I'll be for it when I 'recover'... So ofcourse I ress on, like an idiot, that wants more strength.... heh heh heh..... *Enjoys being strong, and has a side quest in life, for strength, to bring about healthy, and helpfull results, with ultimate power.....[]

    Oh yeah.. and aswel as with that sloth like feeling when i try to run.... picture a young man, jerkily running step by step, falling forward and tumbling, rolling back into that jerky run, every 4 steps...... quite the humbling experience.... heh

Hey everyone. I've been researching energy and such for a year and a half about, around now.. But i've always seemed to have known about energy in some sense, or atleast how to move it around my body, in a sence as to empower certain strikes, or to help nullify and relax pain. But this isnt my biography, so I'll get to what i was talking about.

[ Sorry... my first Post .... heh heh heh... ]

    I experienced an Epiphany the other day, that related to something, that could have more than one outcome to it, or could have nothing to do with anything, and I've just been wasteing my time for the past few nights..... either way is ok by me, because I've seemed to get results in building up energy throughout my body none-the-less, and clear up some blockages.

[ Oh... and part of this technique deals with Robert Bruces Tactile Imageing Technique, Thank you much, RB ]

    I settle down and try to clear my thoughts. Then imagineing a fluttering ball or ribbon or something of the sort [ I prefer ball because its less confusing that way ] and I try to make it feel as if its orbiting around a part of my body. [ I eventally get to most parts of my body and Chakras ]. I continue to fell it orbiting that part, but gradually getting faster and faster.....
    But with that epiphany I spoke of earlier, I noticed that the human sences tend to allow something to go at only a certain pace before it tends to avert its attention to something else or allow itself to feel satisfied.
    After that certain point that I felt as if i couldnt make it move any faster on my own ( by that point my foot was already buzzing lightly with energy ) I didnt make any physical movement..... But I remembered that everything is made of energy.... the physical realm is just more condenced and moveing slower hence giving it such the tangible sense it possesses.
    And with that thought I allowed the 'ball' to spin faster and faster, first in modes as if like an accellerating engine or something, opposed to the hyper-active hampster in its spinning wheel speed before hand.... and beyond that engine speed thing, I *let* that ball just continue to speed into infinity, trying not to grasp how fast it really was going.....  Needless to say my entire leg was buzzing in a heavy streaming  feeling.... And 'It was good!'..... I had only been working on my foot, and that leg was soon beaming with energy, and my other foot began to tingle aswell, as if it were being worked on...

    I continued throughout my entire body doing that, but I seemed to noticed it tends to get more difficult in certain parts of the body, than others... maybe because of the size difference... maybe because of the small energy pathways... But i've noticed that this works....

    What i was getting to before with the Light or Higher vibrations topic was that with something moveing so fast..... if put to polonged use, i was thinking that it could eventually begin raising Energy levels and personal existance vibrations so to say....

    The light thing was more of a random thought because of the way light exists..... It is just energy in some form that is moveing at an INCREADIBLY fast rate.... With Astral Sight one can see energy for what it is..... but for Those who dont understand or cant comprehend.... say if someone could manipulate energy to the point where it could be seen as light, to the untrained naked eye...

    I have other thoughts about things aswell with this, such as to use it for Psychokinesis, and healings... but Lets just keep it as this.... dont need this getting anymore unbearably longer than it already is..... Sorry.... heh

I spent about the last hour, looking through this thread, as I've been sidetracked from my energetic attachments, and as was put, let myself wallow inside my depressed thoughts. December was horrible for me, and I've spent the last 2 months getting out of my depression. I had an epiphany about myself and noticed that I really needed to start working on my life, as I have been slacking for a few years... I'm only 17 at the moment but I have been through a lot.

I've always been interested in raiseing my Kundalini, ever since hearing about it. When I did first hear about it, I felt a bit of a tug from myself to try and pursue Kundalini, as also what had happened when I first began looking into OBE's.... Over the past few years I have been working off and on, with developing my energy.

When I read some parts of this Thread, I felt compelled to share a part of myself with everyone, because thought being young, and inexerienced in a lot that deals with life, I've felt deep connections and learned a LOT of things that the 'average' teen normally wouldnt have access of wisdom to. I don't intend to be bragging... Maybe its an insecurity of mine to, try to have someone be able to connect with me and reveal to me parts of myself that I would like to understand. I understand that even if I was told I probobly wouldn't hold it in, and be able to apply any part of the information to my life yet, because its not the right time.... and that I'de only find it when intended.... But it's kindof fustrateing.... Oh well.. I'm sure most of you can understand atleast part of what I'm going through.. But yeah... What I felt compelled to show you guys was an excerpt from part of my LiveJournal entrees... ( a link to it is in my profile if anyone cares )....

If you'd rather not waste your time and check this out, By all means just skip ahead to the next post.

----------------------------

" What must be done now that I am here.... But though I am here.. just how deep down have I dug, and how much farther could I go? Senses say, I can go on forever... and I believe it.... But just what am I talking about right now, and how relevent is it to others... Maybe a lot.... maybe nothing... Maybe its not my place to judge. I live in the darkness of the light my body takes in and applies... That would make me an abstract would it not? Too much to conform, yet still comparable to be categorized in the eyes of others.... My maze of thoughts leads me through a lot of space of empty thoughts, and broken false memories... Theres another idea to comprehend right there.... broken false memories.... is that to say that I've blinded myself and saw contortion, but have seen the reality and truth of it, and shattered the false impression for my better? its still here... still has root... most swept away by the light that makes me be abstract, to clense and heal me, yet still with some left attachment by me or it to linger and carry on for another day... What does the light have planned for me that it allows this clutter to continue on in me.... Should I remove it, or continue being the bystander I've let myself be? heh... Bystander - the opportune idealism to let go and observe.... This is what I've thought would help me deal with things.. If I were to watch and learn... then I'de be set.... But alas... Without action.... without takeing grasp again and becomeing the body that is to Project, something of which I've been wanting to do for years now... I see now that I must Grab those roots and remove them myself if I am to completely regain myself, to learn to re-aquaint myself and take control of that which eludes me..... Maybe I should think of this as a sort of game that I've intended to win for my life, but have only learned to press -Start- with, and my Prologue to be seen... Maybe thats how I can consider this... My observations have been the Opening sequence, and now that I am about to Press the start button, and enter Adulthood.... My True journey begins... How complex could I make this for myself.... Put use to the Labyrinth of which My active Minotaur NPC, can be my guide once more.... Now to find My Tutorial... Better yet.... I've always been wanting to know what my metaphorical "stats" have been through my life... Maybe I should continue to explore the depths of my mind again, but this time time action, and gain brownie points with myself, in removeing those roots... The light clears the wreckage but leaves what it can't handle... Maybe it's so weak to move through because there is so much reckage it can't... no... wont remove because that is the bear of what I must do for myself to grow and develop like I've always hoped to... aahh.. I see now, that my Minotaur can only help me in my own Labyrinth and removeing these falsities, gets me better prepared to take on, what is out of my inner depths, for when I do find myself exploreing the outside, I don't become overwhelmed again and cause more self aggrivations... Its all my fault and im still liveing my lie.... take bit by bit and regrow what I've damaged to myself and to the connections of all of those that I've previously known..... Let me work on something right now.... My own insanity is an illusion....... my last resort self defence mechanism to truely keep there, in a state of observation without control.... I'm glad my body had proper previous commands and morals to live by in my fault... ahh... yes... My own true, Truth in Fault... That is something I've desired to use on the moments that I felt I could... and now... its horboring is found.... " Tell me what you see, Am I what you need, Truth in Fault I see, You're broken in front of me "..... Ironic how I precognitize lyrics for myself , sometimes without completely understanding why, till moments like these... This isnt the first song that I speak to myself in words though.... but thats something else to talk about, that is not for this moment... I've found myself broken right on front of myself to find truth in my own act of mal-action. Now I tell myself that I am what I need to take control, because I see myself trying to hard to watch and control, and not being in the right 'place' to be, in order to do so.... HA!!.. I'm my own backseat driver!!... how amuseing... Again I find myself relating to music again... I am reminded of the song "Drive" by Incubus. This shall be my first mental action, to tell my confused childish "chaufer" to grow up, by becomeing the one who takes grasp of this metaphorical 'wheel' to take and steer, as the song would put. Now I hope to be "Leading with the right body" as the 'cure team' would put it in the newsletters from www.immunics.org ...... thinking it over, i find myself slightly amazed at how i managed to get this far, so positively, with letting go of the wheel, and haveing something or someone to be there for me to take control for me in my loss of faith in myself and all else.... wait.... thats another lie.... I don't think i've ever lost faith... I just tried takeing the easy way out of things, and stopped putting effort into things.... alright.... now that I have some more sorted out in myself, I think I will let myself clean the trash of what I illusion myself to continue to believe and tell others.... I'm decideing to do this now to atone for my lies, and truly ask for a major act of forgiveness from all of whom this may effect.... I've never actively tried to commit suicide, and though I have done things to illusion myself into believeing that I have, I now take grasp of this Viel, and Tear it off... I need the light in my life, and my shadow and darkness must be clensed if I am to control and develop what I want to do with myself..... thought Jokeing around to hang myself before, I've never attempted... I don't know wether or not my neck could withstand it, with however much I want to believe that I'm strong enough to do so... I've jumped from high places before and can simulate the sudden jerk and tugg of my body, in my mind to what i think would be an accurate degree.... and i now remive this illusion from my being....... I don't remember what I said or thought to believe for my second attempt at it, and I remove and clear this out of my life.... The third moment, of when I stated that I let myself fall from a high wall landing on concreted flat on my back, and haveing that feeling of something say that my body wont give up on me.... well.. That feeling has always been there, and i've come to recognize that though I might have let it slip from my complete control and done bad things to it, I love myself and plan to restore and recover from the things i've done to myself... And as for the illusion for the falling... I've taken a couple of leaps of faith before with flipping off of things or jumping from high places, and landing with a thud before, so it seems it was easy for me to believe that I could have done that, even the mental imagery and the feelings, and thoughts of it.... These are false, and I remove these from myself now..... :: takes a deep breath and prays for forgiveness, upon wanting for atone for his sins against everything he's done that delt with his lies towards others, and asks for help upon attempting to better himself and all others, so that he may find himself on the path he was intended to partake upon in this life :: ..... Theres more that I must say, now that I have the opportunity.... I have heard things, aswell as thought to have heard things before, but I never had objective voices in the manner that i seemed to speak of before... Curtio and Damina.... Though these names did randomly come to me, the voices that I spoke to have had, we're my own thoughts. So confused and so willing to be illusioned, upon not being able to focus my maze of thoughts i always had, I led myself to speak that I had voices, when my own wandering thoughts and powerful emotions produced feelings that every person may go through at one point or another. These emotions confused me and I had to put a label on them somehow.... with the feminine thoughts leading on physical attraction towards guys, aswell as other thoughts that could be labeled as female in today's world, I set down as hearing myself as Damina.... With the Uber-masculine thoughts and cockyness, and other overly male-sterotypical things, I labeled as being from Curtio. With all of the Mental clutter I found myself fighting in my own mind, against myself, and illusioned it to be of them going back and forward at eachother... All of this happeneds while I find myself trying to let go and take that backseat, to observe and not be caught in the middle, to escape certain negative thoughts and emotions.... But something that I personally feel is true, is the dark part of me, and the being that haunts me every now and again... Because of being so weak and spread so thin in mental control with all of these things going on at once.... I think something found me a prime target to take advantage of, expecially with the onslaught of emotional, physical, and mental distress I tried either copeing with or escapeing, from school life, and home life..... aswell as the online life i found myself to be part of, also adding to my list of feelings and lessons learned decades ahead of time... The Pain i felt was real in my life... everything that I felt was real... the experiences put up to explain them to modern society, in part were false... but the sensations were infact real, and that wont be taken away from me, nomatter what any mortal sais, to prove me wrong... I too am only mortal, but I've had my fair share of true experiences, nomatter what the source of it be, and its because I embrace this fact, that I may act as proud as I do, when I speak of myself, because though it most likely isnt my place to judge lives with circumstances, I still have my faults, and I what I find is that within the frame of life that I've had, compared to the actions i hear about from others at thier worst.... It may not be to the extreme that I've been through myself, and I act accordingly to my thoughts on it, and try and help with whatever I can, because in the sense of 'do unto others as you would have done to you' I would have GRATEFULLY and GLADDLY accepted any sort of the type of comfort, I think I try to offer and share with others..... I still fight myself and the 'demon' shall i put it, that plagues me, because I absolutely KNOW that it is real. My time to train again, to fight back has arrived and now I must do what i can, to 'earn brownie points', in myself to strengthen and develop the traits and qualities needed to do what I need to do.


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If you are one of the people that I have told these stories to... yes... I now understand and admit that I Lied directly to you all to explain a part of myself that i never would let myself figure out, or that I was too ashamed to say otherwise too... I only wanted to relate what feelings i've been through, to somehow feel close enough to help... I understand my mistake, and i accept whatever emotions or feelings and words you might decide to curse me with. Tonight I let go of a MASSIVE insecurity and have allowed myself to finally take any punishment and responcibility for haveing decieved you all. I am of love... I am of hate... I am of that which I cannot fully comprehend yet.... And I strive to be of truth, aswell... I've spoken some major truth in this post, although the beginning may have been of 'deep thoughted incoherency'..... I am who I am, and we are who we are... I'm beginning to really work for my betterment, and I hope at the least you can appreciate or respect, atleast that much of me.

With much love, and acceptance..... The true, Theodore..... "


-------------------


In this I had an opening to the truth in my life, And I feel it has been a small but pivitol step in my life, towards what I have in store for myself.

This may have not been much to do with the Original Kundalini thread.... But Kundalini is something in the back of my mind that I aim on trying to develop a connection with. I have a subtle understanding of what I am doing with my life, but its nowhere near what I would like to be grasping of myself. Maybe its my mind feeling a vacuume in itself for the abilities my soul has developed but hasnt quite established in this body... or maybe I'm still unsure of what it is that I really want.... But the things spoken about, by Boydster, about the self and what you should have worked through already before leaping headstrong into Kundalini.... I could relate to some of them, with haveing touched part of them, already, though being so young. I'm not sure... I'm just babbling at this point... I'm just trying to figure things out still i guess... one last thing... When He stated that the Heart Chakra was a comman connection of the two, and that Love was something that you should accept into it as much as you can, or something like that... Love has always been a integral part of my existance and dureing some of the posts I would feel the urge to summon energy inside of myself.. interestingly enough it comes in short warm and tingly waves from the bottom of my spine, along my back and into my head, and usually through my back and shoulders into my arms and hands.... Oh well...

If I would only hear myself trying to help guide me through this all... heh... oh well.

Take care, and much love...

Personally, Yes. I know exactly what that rush and wave of energy throughout the body, is like... I'm rather Musically Inclined, and I've almost always had a natural 'feel' for things. And depending on the mood im in, and the music I listen to.. I can connect like that aswell, and have that awesome feeling reverberate through me. Fun isn't it?

Aswell as with getting a feel with certain bands and singers and such, I tend to do that myself aswell. Some things are Fehkin Awesome, and other things can be appealing to some..... And I'de look at it btoh from a clashing energy sense, aswell as being a musician myself, hear it and analyze the musical aspect of it, aswell as my personal feelings for it, and feel it to be crap.

I'm not sure how to keep it going for that long, though I have tried doing it myself on many occasions...

From what I've done, that has made it last for a while, is to not listen to anything else right afterward, and keep the songs momentum in the mind to keep going. It helps to not think about it much, and to just 'let it happen'..  and for the energy... just try to get a hang of the feeling and what you feel when it happeneds to you... I've managed to bring up a small surge through my spine, along my back and into and throughout my head to get a warm tingly feeling at will, for some time now. Havent been keeping up with energy as much lately thought due to a recent dip into deep depression for the past few months... but its been a learning experience and, Music has helped me alot, especially with that particular feeling.

Interesting how I went into a deep relation with this post.... Oh well... But yeah.. you're not alone, and its definately fun.

[if]

I had every intention of wanting to train to become as strong as i could, and develop any abilities i could along the way, in the first place, so hearing about a possible war that will include ACTUAL upfront interaction to deal with the 'enemy' or 'bad guys'.... I'm just useing that as a motivateing factor, to help encourage myself into training. I have a bit of procrastination built up over years that i need to work out of my system, so that i can let my true potential bloom, like i feel i was put back on earth to do. Well... atleast, i've always felt a drive and a yearning to let myself develop all of my attributes and knowledge to as much as i could retain, and from previous epiphonies, i've noticed that i do indeed possess a lot more potential ability, to do what i want, than i've seen in a lot of other people, so why not just go for it, and try to make something of myself anyways, and apply what i'll learn to be able to do, in my normal life; so that if something DOES end up happening, atleast i CAN be ready for it, and not get 'wasted' in the first few days of it all.

I'm not sure if there is a war comeing, but i DO know.... Feel, that something is on its way, and i would like to be what i've wanted to be, before my time is up, just in case. I'm not letting it run my life.. but i am being cautious none-the-less of what i feel. Can you blame me for listening to my gut instinct?

Wee... Look`it me... im back!!!

Heh.. Hey guys. I've been out of the loop for a while, but ow im back. i've had a REALLY kruddy holiday season [ that i'll speak about to anyone that cares... pm me, or something]. Anywho.. about this discussion... i remember reading up and hearing on the discovery channel, that the Mayan calander was set up for different cycles and stages for the planets alignment and energy levels. The calender ending on december 23, 2012, was to signify the end of this cycle that the earth is in [ of these cycles i think i remember it saying something about there being 4 or 5 cycles... i think 5 is right, because of the planet and the elements. the water element would go along with the great flood, and other earquake, meteorite hits, and other things] and this phase that we're going into next is that of a combination of the elements, and to those that study elemental magics with a higher understanding of energies, when you combine the powers of the 4 main used/primary elements in sync with eachother you develop the pure energy archtype, that is beyond elemental defintion, but can be broken back down into the seperate components... well think of that on a planetary/universal scale... that shift is what a lot of people talk about with the higher vibrational states and things, and goes along quite well with kakkarot's dream he shared with me/us in the astral pulse a couple months back. Think that seems like a suitible time for those visions you had, to take place?

Well nomatter what the issue, everyone is entitled to thier own oppinion on things, but as a word of the wise for anyone who cares to listen, training yourself wether it be mental, physical, or metaphsical in nature, is always a good thing... just make sure that along the way, you pick up some good 'tricks' or 'hints' on survival and defence nomatter what be the case... it'll come in handy on those random black out phases, that could happen again, like it did in New York a couple months ago.

And on the issue of demons.... well.. Nomatter what anyone sais, i believe demons/angels/ other outer worldly creatures to exist, from personal experiences, so when the time comes, i'll be atleast slightly prepared for whatever it is that 'May or may not happen.'

[ to comment the issue of there always being another doomsday thing happening.... the 2012 thing is the only thing left brought to my attention, after the Y2K bs and all... so if the 2012 thing does infact turn to be a cop-out, atleast i'll feel satisfied with myself knowing that i've reached a personal goal of achievement... Look out olympics... here i come!!!!]

The first thing about learning to do something that you might not have a clue how it works, is to NOT EXPECT ANYTHING.... thats something a lot of people have a problem with... They expect 'something' to happen.... but when it REALLY does happen, but its not that 'something' they expected, they think they did 'whatever' wrong, and usually end up frustrated about it...

The only advice i can offer to you, is to start, or continue any form of energy work, toward stimulateing and developing the brow chakra - the 'Third eye'.

With not expecting anything, but leaveing yourself mindfull about anything that 'does' happen, while activateing the brow chakra, you can be more aware of anything that could happen, do work on, or develop.

Heh... I've been haveing a very similar problem.... but the thing is that i guess i wasnt focusing  enough energy, or i just couldnt get my conciousness to leave my body... it is really annoying... my post about it is in OBE Discussion, named 'so close... yet so far away... ARG!!' heh...

technically, light is nothing more than a form of energy vibrateing at such a speed that the eye-brain connection interprets it as visible... so technically you CAN create light. It would just take a GREAT amount of concentration, focus, and experience to manipulate any energy into 'light'.

And as to the weather, some people are naturally intuned with some form of weather change. But for the 'average' energy user, it would just take a lot of focus and specific concentrational force of energy to either produce or remove clouds, and heat....

A person who has a strong form of psychokinesis, can alter the weather in the general area that she/he is in, with a bit of effort, and the right ideas of what to do.

I speak from personal experience that the weather can be changed, even without psychokinesis. It really does take a lot of effort and energy to accomplish though.

and you haven't asked your parents to move so you could go to a 'REAL' school, yet?.... you've got will power......... and lots of it, to tolerate either 'IT' or all of this stuff that you're reading...... Dude.... Seriously.... Thats A) not morally proper OR correct. B) Those Methods inhibit modern Social experiences/lessons which can lead to a downfall of the person later in life. C) Comformity leads to social collaps when something faulty is found in the 'system'

* could go on for a few more minutes with rambling, but decides not to, becuase he is tired *

Those are a few of the things i feel wronged about....

Chi is the essence of life energy that people and beings possess

General use of energy in the body can help to releave pain... Here is something that goes back to a basic level, but it really is effective with healing from those syndromes..

If you've read Astral Dynamics or Practical Psychic Self Defence than you should know of N.E.W. Useing N.E.W. and establishing the intent to help heal with it, can help you dramatically.

But for the sake of those who don't know what N.E.W is, i'll explain a small practice of my own, that can be used that is Very similar to N.E.W.

If you have any control over the energy in your body, you can sense and move it around your body... Don't establish any certain energies, that you may use for spells, but try to use basically your Raw energy, and move it in wave like actions, starting from the head, moveing it all the way down, thru your body, down to your toes. As it moves along your toes, pull it back up through your body, up to your head. Do the same thing over and over and over again.

After the first few times when you've gotten the hang of menuvering your energy up and down your body, start to pull in more energy from outside of your body. This way you're adding fresh energy into the mix of things. Continue to do this, because it will help with energizeing you throughout the entire process, aswell as build up your overall energy aswell.

Anytime dureing this, if you've had practice with healing powers, than go ahead and impliment it into this. But if not, than while your doing this, tell yourself and feel the general intent of healing yourself, while you are doing this..

There may be a few uncomfortable feelings while you are doing this practice, but that would be the shifting of negative energy out of your body, and loosening up any blockages.

The longer and more you do this, the faster you will heal from anything in your body that may be troubleing you. This really DOES work, becuase its something that i've developed from personal experience and from things i've read.. I've also told this to a few friends, and it has helped them out aswell.

Something that helps out too, say if your aggrivated, or have a headache.. Take in a deep breath, and hold it for a second... while holding it, gather all ofthe bad feelings inside your self, gathering them in your chest... With a deep exhale, forcefully push out all of the bad feeling through your breath... Take another deep breath, bringing in a feeling of relaxation and wholesome-ness.... it tends to help..

Best of luck and happy days.

Seeming that occult DOES mean hidden or secret, isnt it odd at how coincidental it is, with the fact that most people fear what they dont understand.... so... for the 'average' person a few centuries ago, anything 'occult' was seen as bad, because they didnt understand it, and because the Bible states to stay away from the occult. Due to this, and the fear that the churches created, Occultist/Occultism got a bad reputation.

There are both negative AND positive 'Occult' practices, when you put it into perspective. I find it sad that accusations are made before anyone can truely explain both the good and bad in what they practice, and what they've come to learn already.

For the sence of steering oneself away from those accusations I feel that a person could call themself a 'Metaphysisist'. Technically it covers everything that 'Occultism' covers, aswell as the paranormal and such. But it is also less frowned upon, for sake of the none existant bad reputation it has.

I don't see much of a moral problem 'for' a person who practices what they do, unless if it is for something that will inturn, intentionally be used against another person in a negative way. But if someone practices something, for a positive reason, then the only problem is the 'outside' issues that OTHER people have. If the accuser's aren't willing to sit down and talk about these things with the person they are accusing, then it is  only 'Thier' problem, because they are going against thier own morals of compassion for others, causeing themselves negative intent by that point, over a trivial issue.

So who is really to blame? I say 'Don't blame anyone' in this instance, because it's just something that will not solve anything. If one has directly confronted or has been confronted by a person, with the intention for accuseing you or them of something, I guess you 'could' rightfully blame someone.... But think of it... is there really any point to doing that?... What does putting blame on someone accomplish?... What are you blameing/being blamed for?.... Does it directly effect you/them?.... Big woop... one has been blamed..... what now?

I guess im just ranting by this point. Anyone else understand what I'm getting at though?

To answer the original questions; It depends more on what practices a person decides to study/perform. And with that, a persons individual thought process and personal beleifs and intent is what decides wether the act of being an 'occultist' is evil or holy/bad or good.

To accuse 'all' of the 'occultists' of being 'evil and wrong' is wrong in itself. But so is the act of harboring negative thoughts towards those people that made the original accusations.

Two wrongs 'may' settle a difference, but it does not make it right or just, for either party.

quote:Originally posted by Syko Dragon

To Tarconiss:

I forgot to mention...I used to have similar thoughts...My voice was, though, in my own voice, but I knew it wasn't Truly me...The Intention, Spontaneity, and Overall feeling wasn't that of me...I've had arguments with him, but he ALWAYS tried to make me do very Troublesome things...

I've also been thinking about this type of situation as well...Even though it may not seem like it, I feel this is a Better situation than You think...Think of this...Would You rather NOT have that separation of YOUR thoughts and OTHER'S thoughts and just think they are Your own thoughts and act upon them?  Or have that separation to Fight it?  Unfortunately, some people get so trapped within that situation that they become pawns to its Will...

Just keep Training; they will eventually go away, if You so choose them to...I haven't heard "my" voice for years now...I've been WAY more Clearheaded, Happy, Peaceful, Understanding, etc, ever since...^_^  So don't worry...if Your Intentions are Good and Your Passion to Grow is Strong, You will Overcome if You Decide to Persevere...

Good Luck Training...Until we meet again...

Heh, I wouldn't change anything if i could. I've learned so much that i normally wouldnt have, and it IS due to these experiences I've had. I do believe that i will continue togrow stronger in all aspects, and I have the personal crave to do so aswell. I also know that I'm going to try to do the best things that I can do, for myself and keep away from negative habits.

I embrace the fact that I have had these negative things happen to me, but I also trust that i will keep on moveing on from them toward a better, healthier direction for myself.

I havent had any trouble with 'him' for about a year now myself, and i've been doing well to keep myself out of those angry moods. I'm sure i can have him 'resolved' before anything bad happeneds... I'll especially deal with him, once i learn to acheive concious OBE's.

Heh.... I'm glad you guys are takeing this lightheartedly, it's probobly for the better.

I know the story about Hulk and what happeneds with him, and thats not what happeneds with me. My issue is more in a realistic sense, that it IS a lot more adrenaline going through my system, than normally is needed, and that my emotions by that point are flareing so much that its hard to keep under control. Being so caught up in the moment normal thoughts that should apply, tend not to because of all the chaos in your head. If your still focuseing on something at that point your generateing a LOT of extra energy into something that can get out of hand really quickly. This is where i need to be careful at that point. Only IF he decides to try again.

I know that i can rid him when im composured, but when in that kindof mindstate and your body is pumping, then its harder to clear things up, and free myself. I'm just afraid of what could happen if i were to snap inside that adrenaline and energy bursting situation, and I go evil....

Bleh... I'll make sure i get out of the position that i get that edgy with, before anything bad happeneds... I'll have to deal with that soon, if need be..

I've been doing well with keeping happy with my life, well enough that i dont have bad dreams anymore, and in any case that it does go bad, i have the power to fight it off, or get rid of it. This is why it hasnt been bothering for almost a year now.