It's been years since I had an SP episode, but when I did, a few times I thought I could see a dim, shadow-like outline of my ceiling/room (like I was seeing through a bed sheet or dark sunglasses).
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Welcome to Astral Chat! / Re: Are you a Wanderer or Walk-in?
March 29, 2014, 11:48:15
Having been led over here by Lionheart, I took the test and I scored an 88.
I've never felt normal reality was strange or out of place as a child (that I can remember), nor did I ever look up at the sky with longing (but as a kid, there were a few times I reclined on a lawn chair at night during the summer to watch the meteor showers....) I also have never had any sort of (identifiable) ET/UFO experiences, so those questions were answered no as well.
Do you have a strong sense of purpose and feel that your mission is to help Earth and humanity?
I answered no to this question also. I don't have a very strong sense of purpose, nor do I necessarily feel that my mission is to help humanity. No, most of the time, I have simply felt lost and out-of-place. Much of this stems from sociological reasons during my childhood, stemming from changing schools when I was 10 and the social ostracization I experienced from that. This eventually led into a deep and severe depression, requiring hospitalization and medication when I was a teen. I was also the oldest child of six, so I had to grow up pretty fast. I was always a very intelligent kid who asked too many questions, and to this day I continue to stuff my head with knowledge.
As far as helping humanity, I only know a few things: first, I obviously don't want anyone to suffer any more than necessary. But I have reached a misanthropic/nihilistic phase in life where part of me really wants to watch the world burn. I feel it's going to take a cataclysmic event to change mankind's course away from the cults of control, repression, exploitation and capitalism, and the sooner it happens, the better. People don't like change, especially when that change threatens their self-identification and self-worth - and since we identify with our beliefs, it's going to take those beliefs being ripped into shreds before the majority of people question themselves enough and realize that the course we are taking as a society is doomed if we don't change. Climate change is maybe the biggest possibility or source for that catastrophe right now, though global inequality and the pursuit of the almighty god of money - at the expense of everything (and everyone) else - is a close second. Even then, I still feel we are at least a decade or two away from things getting bad enough before it spurs enough of a phase shift in people's minds to cause them to act. Of course, how many people are going to have to suffer and die before this happens? I don't have my hopes up...
Two, if there is one thing I feel concerning this life, if reincarnation in any form exists, I know that I absolutely DO NOT want to come back to this hell-hole! Look, the planet is great - it's the people that suck. And as any student of history would know, not much seems to have changed over the past few thousand years that we have on record. No, we seem bound into repeating the same power games, the same mistakes as our ancestors have made. I feel little sympathy for most people on this planet, and I certainly don't identify with most of the 'masses'. Ever since I 'woke up' as an early teen, I've never felt much tying me to this planet - I just felt like I didn't belong here. Like some spoiled child I guess, I hate being told what to do or what to believe in - I prefer creativity, and the freedom to make up my own mind, to blind obedience. I have a strong sense of idealism and justice, which is pretty much incompatible with this world as it currently stands.
So I don't know why I'm here...I don't feel like an 'ET', though the symptoms I experience would certainly fit with that thesis. All I do know is that I have always felt like I was searching for something - for what, I have no clue. I know that I feel like I don't belong here. I know that I hate repression, I hate feeling like I can't fulfill my full potential - like I feel 'solid' or restricted here - and that I do not want to come back to this planet, if I have any choice in the matter.
I hope that we can get our heads out of our behinds and come together as one people, on one planet, before it's too late. If history is any indicator, though, I have severe reservations that I will see this in my lifetime (and I hopefully have a good 40+ years left yet!) Of course, that's no reason to give up hope or to stop trying...
I've never felt normal reality was strange or out of place as a child (that I can remember), nor did I ever look up at the sky with longing (but as a kid, there were a few times I reclined on a lawn chair at night during the summer to watch the meteor showers....) I also have never had any sort of (identifiable) ET/UFO experiences, so those questions were answered no as well.
Do you have a strong sense of purpose and feel that your mission is to help Earth and humanity?
I answered no to this question also. I don't have a very strong sense of purpose, nor do I necessarily feel that my mission is to help humanity. No, most of the time, I have simply felt lost and out-of-place. Much of this stems from sociological reasons during my childhood, stemming from changing schools when I was 10 and the social ostracization I experienced from that. This eventually led into a deep and severe depression, requiring hospitalization and medication when I was a teen. I was also the oldest child of six, so I had to grow up pretty fast. I was always a very intelligent kid who asked too many questions, and to this day I continue to stuff my head with knowledge.
As far as helping humanity, I only know a few things: first, I obviously don't want anyone to suffer any more than necessary. But I have reached a misanthropic/nihilistic phase in life where part of me really wants to watch the world burn. I feel it's going to take a cataclysmic event to change mankind's course away from the cults of control, repression, exploitation and capitalism, and the sooner it happens, the better. People don't like change, especially when that change threatens their self-identification and self-worth - and since we identify with our beliefs, it's going to take those beliefs being ripped into shreds before the majority of people question themselves enough and realize that the course we are taking as a society is doomed if we don't change. Climate change is maybe the biggest possibility or source for that catastrophe right now, though global inequality and the pursuit of the almighty god of money - at the expense of everything (and everyone) else - is a close second. Even then, I still feel we are at least a decade or two away from things getting bad enough before it spurs enough of a phase shift in people's minds to cause them to act. Of course, how many people are going to have to suffer and die before this happens? I don't have my hopes up...
Two, if there is one thing I feel concerning this life, if reincarnation in any form exists, I know that I absolutely DO NOT want to come back to this hell-hole! Look, the planet is great - it's the people that suck. And as any student of history would know, not much seems to have changed over the past few thousand years that we have on record. No, we seem bound into repeating the same power games, the same mistakes as our ancestors have made. I feel little sympathy for most people on this planet, and I certainly don't identify with most of the 'masses'. Ever since I 'woke up' as an early teen, I've never felt much tying me to this planet - I just felt like I didn't belong here. Like some spoiled child I guess, I hate being told what to do or what to believe in - I prefer creativity, and the freedom to make up my own mind, to blind obedience. I have a strong sense of idealism and justice, which is pretty much incompatible with this world as it currently stands.
So I don't know why I'm here...I don't feel like an 'ET', though the symptoms I experience would certainly fit with that thesis. All I do know is that I have always felt like I was searching for something - for what, I have no clue. I know that I feel like I don't belong here. I know that I hate repression, I hate feeling like I can't fulfill my full potential - like I feel 'solid' or restricted here - and that I do not want to come back to this planet, if I have any choice in the matter.
I hope that we can get our heads out of our behinds and come together as one people, on one planet, before it's too late. If history is any indicator, though, I have severe reservations that I will see this in my lifetime (and I hopefully have a good 40+ years left yet!) Of course, that's no reason to give up hope or to stop trying...
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