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It's that real you'll not recognise it, you'll be convinced its the physical.

This is what I was most curious about, I do not know what to expect, what to "see" or "feel".. when I want to open my eyes Im never sure if I open them like I have my entire life or will I just start "seeing" through my eyelids.  I keep reflecting back to the moment when I sat up, it was so real and it felt like I just sat up as I normally would have any other time.. but like I said, after reading 5 pages of forum topics it could have been real and I wasn't realizing the fact.

Get to the point where I don't feel body sensations and just let it ride, thats all that I'm missing?  Sounds simple in theory, but very hard in practice to ignore those sensations.  Appreciate the feedback.

Hey,

As I awaited for administrative approval I lurked through about 5 pages of threads.  You guys seem very motivational and extremely supportive, so I feel comfortable sharing my experience and hope for some insight from the more experienced individuals here.

I come here asking a question, with a general idea of what you all are already going to say, but really all I'm looking for is affirmation and a little confidence boost. 

Vague background:  24, Married, children, deployed, stressed and home sick

Last night:
10:30-11:30pm
Having a hard time sleeping.  I haven't meditated in months, I've had questionable to zero success in the matter of obtaining a true AP.. to my knowledge.  I decide to turn on some binaural beats, this usually helps me relax and meditate.  As I "sink" into the void of darkness, the ever so comforting relaxing nothingness where time seems without notice.  I think to myself "I haven't felt my third eye in awhile, I wonder if I can still do it".  Within I'd say 20 seconds of just giving it attention I feel the ecstasy, the throbbing pressure that sends a wave of relaxation and "at peace".  "This is good, I needed this".. moments later I can only describe this feeling as a ripple of consciousness, like a drop of water into a pond.. "I know what this feeling is.. I haven't felt this in a long time, here we go".. At first, my heart starts pounding in my chest and then in my ears.. then the air gets cold.. ice cold.. the most satisfying chilling breaths of air I've ever breathed, then my eyes start to flutter.. they want to open so bad but I'm afraid it will end.. then my head starts to shake.. as if I was cold and shivering.  I tell myself "GO GO GO, your almost there.. do it.. there is no fear just leave just go" and a sensation of intensity increases and increases and then I sit up with my eyes open, and all the symptoms are gone.. and im just sitting in my bed looking around with a feeling a disappointment. (this is the moment im confused about, was I really sitting up, or was i really in astral form?  everything looked and felt the same as physical existence) I layed back down, feeling the pillow under my head as i rest.  "Why can't I get out?  and if I am, why can't I open my eyes?" 

The binaural beat session lasted 1 hour, throughout that hour I had dream like experiences of flying and random images, and during these id question if it was a dream or not and immediately be looking at the back of my eyelids, and then as I stopped caring again id start having more dream like experiences.  I had cold chills on my arms, I remember having to cover them up and then sink back into my void.  Then, when the beats stopped.. my eyes opened and I was sitting there questioning the last hour of my life. 

What happened?

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Just some more background information, my perspective is a mix influenced by the New Testimate, Robert Bruce's "Astral Dynamics", and Jane Roberts "Seth Speaks" --
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First experience:

Sitting in my room one afternoon reading an article that was touching to me, close my eyes and feel this inner warmth and awe from what I just read.  I sink into my comfortable void to reflect, i active my third eye, and then move on to my crown.  Before I know it i was down to the base and then what i can only describe as a broom stick of energy, was shoved directly through my skull down my base, almost "locking in" all of my activated chakras.  My eyes started to flutter, once again i just wanted to open them but i was afraid what i was see was my room again and it would be over.  My heart start pounding, my eyes rolled into the back of my head and i felt a lasso rope around my hip and I just called out in my head "help me, please, I need help to do this".. and then hand over hand was the rope pulled by "something".  Eventually everything stopped and in a seamless moment i was in darkness, i saw nothing but infinite black nothing with a presence next me.  I opened my eyes and I was in my room, shaking.. but also completely energized as if I slept 8 hours.

What happened?


These are the only two experiences I've been confused about, the other ones are similar to where time just passes while im in my void.  I always have problems when I try, Ill have to swallow, or ill get an itch on my face.. or my eyes want to open for no reason or I feel like i have to move.. just something on my body says tend to me the moment i get into this state.