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Haha thanks guys.. Sorry for all the grammar errors. EscapeReality you are right, definitely had a regular dream last night. I finally feel like I'm getting somewhere.

My unnoffical lucid dreams didn't last very long but are extremely vivid. The first one I had involved me being on the phone with a significant other.. I didn't remember falling asleep so when the dream started I actually opened my eyes and I got out of bed.. Looked at my hands subconsciously (I looked at my hands a lot because I was working at the post office at this time) .. and they were glowing. It was completely on par with waking consciousness.

Another one I had went downstairs, my mom said something to me which trigger the "wtf I'm in a dream" awareness. So I immediately open my door I see a zombie on the way and start to fly lol.. Very briefly though. On another occasion I also realized I was in a dream and tried to fly again and my control of doing things I want to do seem to be messed up now that I think of it. I wanted to drive the car.. It moved like a slug. I wanted to fly.. and I kind of hopped in the air. And the most vivid and vibrant one I had was kind of random. I remember spinning to keep myself there. The dream felt and looked like being high on really good weed. All randomness though lol..

The difference between these dreams and the ones had the other night is the one in black and white wasn't vibrant or very vivid.. But when I was in it I couldn't believe I was there with so much awareness. Make sense? It honestly just felt like this was my first taste of doing what I tried to do before with progress. It was cool and seemed important. That's why it felt to me like a level in a game.

I've been Lucid in my dream before but not like this.. This is the first one where it almost felt like I was in the matrix! Before I fell asleep I wanted to fall asleep and escape. I wanted to Lucid Dream and it worked. (Was kind of thinking depressing thoughts before going to sleep, just the usual mind playing tricks type of stuff.) Haha going to copy and past what I wrote when I woke up...:


This was my first official lucid dream.
Everything was in black and white.. When I knew i was in the dream I immediately looked at my hands and asked for clarity. When I looked up and looked to my left I seen someone walking.. Completely creeper me out because I didn't asked for anyone to be there... So whatever I just want to drive. I couldn't drive the car normally and comfortably and when I did it moved so slow.. So now I'm think wtf my first lucid dream and its black and white.. Dark as excrement.. And I can't bonking drive this thing. I looked at my hands again and asked for clarity again. There was a point too when I was in a stairwell. So after driving the car for a while I'm just like wow this sucks.. Is this the first level? A lot of things were going through my head.. I was creeped out.. It was very real but I felt like I was in a game and kept thinking one I lucid dream I never go back to regular dream.. (Read this somewhere). Here's the strange part.. I was still full conscious. But I was disappointed and I wanted to wake up.. So I close my eyes.. Then open them. Still in dream. I close my eyes again and open them but this time I can see part of my face but I am still in the dream! I thought about the things I've read about falling backwards and it turning into a astral projection but I was afraid! Haha so I closed my eyes again and realized I was at some place of false awakening. Then I really woke up. WOW!


I truly feel like though if I would have aimed with the projection it would have worked. It was just so hard for me to move in the dre it was crazy.. Could have been one idk.. Usually when I become lucid in a dream when I look at my hand they are glowing.. This time they were not but I had so much control I managed to look at them several times. Because the dream was in black and white ( my very FIRST time dreaming this way) my hands were not glowing they just looked normal. Pretty cool excrement. The great thing about it, my books on dreaming should arrive soon. I am stoked.

i remember i was somewhere with my mom, something she said was so bad that it made me think 'this is a dream' so immediately i tried to remember what to do when you need to keep that state. so i looked at my hands and rubbed them just so i could remain in the state. then i tried to spin in circles. i dont remember actually spinning but i still tried. when i was doing this i wasnt in my house but soon after that i left my house and thought 'if this is really a dream i can fly' so i left out the door and thought about lifting of and i was in the air. the flying part sucked to me though, the best part was me actually realizing i was in a dream because it was sooooo clear and i really felt like i was in another world like i just transported there. somewhere though i felt something pulling me out of the clarity i had. i was still aware it was a dream but not as much as when i first realized it so i tried to stop it but it didnt help. the rest seemed like a regular dream even though i was still somewhat in control.

thanks everyone for the responses.

i also read its not from the weed. im convinced my lifestyle caused it also. i never went outside alot and the funny thing about it is it all started when i was with my friends alot. i would tell them how i would feel and they just didnt understand so from about fall of last year to now i completely have isolated myself from my friends because they tried to tell me its not as serious as i make it. they're not me so they wouldnt get. i was use to having a crystal clear perception on everything around me. i use to feel like i was walking the path God gave me and it was the best time of my life. i found myself and love for music. so when everything started to look like a nightmare to me i felt like my life was ruined. i still feel like its ruined but im not paranoid anymore and things dont seem as nightmarish. The same pleasant thoughts that use to be pleasant thinking about were attacking my sense of reality causing me to be where i am now. not knowing what i believe in when i believed in so much. Just a feeling of being lost once again like it was before i found myself. i am the only one out of all my friends going through this. i only know one other person where i live who felt the same way i do after smoking. Things felt things changing but it all officially changed that one day i woke up after about 12 hours of sleep and my whole point of view shifted.

i tried to address everyones responses all in on go .. sorry for the disorganization lol.

I've had this for almost 2 years now due to too much marijuana. when it first started i couldn't leave my house without feeling like i was trapped inside my body. it was like my heartbeat was magnified and when i would walk down the street it would seem like i was walking in a fantasy world where cars , houses and trees were just fake. Today i can go outside but life still seems unreal to me and i don't know who i am anymore. Before this happened i was VERY in touch with my spiritual side. i used to make music solely inspired by the vibes i received from life. After 2 years the only thought that remains a fact about what troubles me the most about this is that my spiritual connection with life seems to have disconnected during this DR process. I've read that DP/DR is like a spiritual awakening but with me its seem to have done the exact opposite ; and my first  thought is because marijuana caused it. When i smoked i would have TERRIFYING panic attacks and to this day i still cant smoke because i don't get high , just a little slow motiony and panicky. i always felt when i was back to normal i would be able to smoke again and get a normal high ... the spiritual type of high but no. makes me believe i still suffer from DR/DP. this is not about drugs though , its about my lost spiritual connection with life. that's why i have been trying to rely on my dreams and attempting to learn how to AP for answers. Any thoughts? BTW im only 20 years old.