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Don't worry, I didn't forget about this.

I mainly make attempts at night and in the morning but my focus has been on/off most of the time. A bit is due to moving back and forth between places, but it's really on me. While I haven't been able to get to the 'void', I've noticed a significant increase in vivid visualizations after I relax and do deep breathing exercises for 10-15 minutes. My only problem is that sometimes it's so vivid I either catch myself thinking "holy crap am I asleep?" or "hey I'm seeing this clearly"...then poof it goes away.

When I started I could barely visualize anything and it felt like dark shapes all the time, but now it's getting more and more clear and the length of these images is steadily increasing.

One night I had a moment of super clarity and for a minute I saw stars (I was laying down, looking at a clear sky) but that soon faded away.

I really love your insights Lumaza. I really like the concept of remembering vs visualizations. Seriously, much appreciated.



Not much time today. But here are my latest attempts

4-30: 11:15pm - I managed to get super relaxed and spent my time focused on breathing exercises. I went with the phase technique and managed the get some vivid imagery but I really focused on my breathing and really just let things be. No real success, but I just wanted to let things go more with the flow. All good.

5-1: 6:15am - I didn't attempt my normal 5 am session, instead I figured to stay up for a few minutes and remind myself to naturally wake up and stay in stasis and make an attempt. Upon waking I went to attempt Michael Raduga's strategy (similar to my earlier attempts). I watched his seminar and what he said made a lot of in the actual technique. Honestly, I just wanted to shift my focus to visualization and to a lesser extent, remembering 'the mirror' example. Some visuals and felt completely weightless, next thing I knew it was 6:45am.

Both were pleasant. I will certainly be taking what you said to heart Lumaza. I feel every day I learn something important and it helps keep me grounded.

Latest Attempts
4-29: 11:15pm - blindfold, binaural beats, and deep relaxation. Lots of vivid images and my body began to feel weightless, didn't really get past the void. I don't even think I got to it. I did spend a lot of time focused on myself so it was rather soothing.

4-30: 5:15am - After waking up at 5am, went to the bathroom and decided to listen to a guided AP video on youtube where they give instructions in a soothing manner. I figured my ability to follow the instructions would be much easier this way, especially when it comes to visualization. This method was very interesting to say the least, after what felt like 20 minutes my body felt completely in motion with the bed and I was able to shift focus into the videos instructions of visualizing light points on my astral body lifting up from the physical body and i started to feel a separation. The best that I can explain it is like a visual echo? My body was felt a tug back down to itself and then I went back to the 3D void. The video at that point said I should be seeing astral stars, but nope just the 3d void.

However this time I was able to visualize most of my thoughts. The visuals were semi-vivid and occasionally hyper-vivid for only a few seconds, then repeat over again. Nothing major, I was able to recall. I eventually woke up and anytime I fell back to rest I was able to imagine random things at will that crossed my mind but anytime I had an intent the visuals didn't really coincide.



You are probably right Lumaza in regards to mixing phasing techniques and non-phasing versions (or rather I am guilty of that). I found myself maxing them together for most attempts early on. More recently if one technique doesn't work after 20-30 minutes I will consider switching. My logic is that some techniques might be more effective right out of the gate (100 attempts vs 10 attempts to be successful), and it's a bit hard to gauge success if I don't have a definable baseline.

The act of practicing for me these last few weeks has helped me improve focus (it pretty much cut my mind-chatter completely) and become way more patient overall. More consistent 3D void experiences seem to be a good sign?

Thanks for the clarity Lumaza.

[really]

I'm glad you are back at it!

I myself am new to exploring astral projection too, so I can relate to some of the frustrations that occur when you want something badly. With Astral Projection, you never know if you'll end up projection tonight, tomorrow night, a week from now, or a month later. After a while, I can imagine it taking a toll. I personally am used to progress that can be measured, and AP is far more abstract, so it is a struggle for me.

Much like any skill worth having, I think it will take time to develop the necessary skills. You can also imagine it as a right of passage to some extent; those who continue on through the frustration and doubts are rewarded later.

As Lumaza pointed out, you could also use the The Astral Pulse Hotline if you are feeling down. In addition, you can always reach out to me too. This journey doesn't have to be taken alone  

Agreed, it's a lot tougher to measure progress. I created a spreadsheet that tracks my attempts/date/time / etc to track how far I've gotten in each step of the way (Ex: relaxed -> visions -> 3d void -> AP?). That way I can visually see long-term progress. It does get frustrating to feel like you're so close yet so far. Putting it into perspective it took 30+ attempts before I saw initial progress so that's a good frame of reference.

Latest Attempts
4-28 11:10pm - I felt pretty relaxed heading to bed. The rainstorm outside helped create a sense of serenity as I closed my eyes and put on a blindfold. It was significantly easier to relax and feel at center with myself. I honed in on Franks Phasing method after about 5 minutes of breathing exercises and third-eye stimulation. My wife then nudged my leg and I saw white, then any other time I heard a sign I would see flashes of white (sidenote: this is happening more frequently like back in the old days). But aside from that, I wasn't really able to go beyond. So I switched my focus on the Doorway method and it started to seem like I was making progress, then the next thing I knew the alarm rang. 5AM. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

4-29 5:10AM - Still tired I figured to try FILD method to see if it will work in the morning. I didn't really sense progress and figured to sleep and try again later in the morning. This wasn't a huge attempt, but I did have a vivid dream snippet of me chasing down my dog in a random lawn and ran into a massive Alaskan malamute that was friendly. Then my wife's alarm clock rang.

4-29 7:15AM - After the alarm rang it was about 7 AM and I recalled the dream mentioned above. It's rare that I have them, good sign?  Anyways, I recalled that a great way to AP was to ignore the movement in the morning when you wake up and make an AP attempt. I decided to do the Michael Raduga https://obe4u.com/how-to-lucid-dream/ method of wiggling and moving. This method was interesting, it was what I did initially during my initial attempts but I was probably winging it back then. This time I was able to feel a very strong pull and imagery was very strong. Though I never got beyond the strong pull.

4-29 8:30AM - Shower time. I initially didn't plan to make an attempt, but after a minute of showering, I still felt very at ease and at center around myself. I figured 'screw it', I had some calm music in the background. I sat down and immediately felt my breathing. Very in sync. "Cool, good start let's keep rolling with it" I told myself. It wasn't that long before my body completely relaxed and it soon felt like I was in my own headspace, with my thoughts. Instead of getting too excited, I kept the focus on 'feeling the inside' around my thoughts...I don't know how to explain that differently yet.

Anyways, there were a lot of different images that popped up. One that was striking was a giraffe. The first thought that popped in was "giraffe, hmph...I really like giraffes, I haven't really thought about it but they might be my favorite one". At this point, it's been very rare that I've been this focused so I keep rolling with it. Soon the giraffe goes away and then I figured, "well, if I'm here in a dream or AP or whatever this is, I'll make a request".

A voice then popped in, if I had to guess it was my higher self, or rather the mind? For now, I'm not gonna worry about semantics I'll call it 'mind'. I don't exactly have vivid visions, I felt like I was in the 3D void.

Note: Not everything I can recall, plus it was 15 minutes or so

Mind: Hey it's me again
Me: I have a lot of questions
Mind: Sure, are you willing and open to listen to the answers?
Me: Yes I am
Mind: For real, are you?
Me: Yes!
Mind: Grab my hand
*a tiny hand appeared, this time I was able to visualize my hand and grab it*
Me: OK

The visualization wasn't that vivid, it just looked like a bunch of radio signals condensed in a square, almost static-like. I took a few minutes to obverse any changes in the frequency, a lot of movement was related to all sounds and feelings around me. I drew my attention to my mind again.

Me: Where are we at?
Mind: If you are thinking this is an astral projection, and I get that you are excited but I cannot say what is or what isn't. You are at one with your self right now.
Me: Who are you really, there is something I needed to remember and you might know the answer.
Mind: I am your mind, the person who you see yourself being. I am not all-knowing, but I've been around many lifetimes. The only thing I can take in is your experiences and lessons learned to be better. It is still your responsibility to act on these lessons learned. Those fragments / visions you had when you were younger?
Me: Yeah?
Mind: It could be a previous life spilled out into this consciousness, to be honest, I don't even know anymore.
Me: Why is that?
Mind: Because that's not important.
Me. ...
Mind: Don't be distracted. You and me are one, we are only separated right now because that's how you can understand me at this moment. Don't worry, in a perfect world we have a strong balance and you are taking steps to achieve that. I want your actions to reflect on what we've learned over this lifetime. What did you really want to ask me? It's very rare that we can chat.
Me: Okay, so I've been searching for what I want to dedicate myself for. But I haven't found a concise solution to that. What should I do?
Mind: Listen.
Me: What?
Mind: We want to learn, grow, and understand. That means speaking to the people, learning their stories, understanding their worries.
Me: That still sounds vague.
Mind: It's not! Speak. To. The. People. You are an observer that has the ability to communicate with others. If you ask, they will speak.
Me: Okay then, I'll start with you. What do you want out of this life?
Mind: No one has ever asked me that before. I've been so caught up on experiences that I sort of lost my cause. I want to guide you through progress. Where you are at and where I am at is exactly where we need to be in order to understand where we need to go.
Me: And that is?
Mind: Forward. I'm still learning as well. Hence, why you are here.
Me: What can't you just take over my consciousness completely then?
Mind: I have my strengths and so do you. All of today's lessons only work for current times and lose their shine as humanity progresses. A lesson such as 'patience' isn't instilled in you until you experience it first hand. If I took over you would more or less be dead, it would be a yin without the yang. It just doesn't work. I'm all talking and thought, you are all action and experiences. We are a team.
Me: I think I am getting it. The shower water is getting cold.
Mind: Check this out, I can make you feel like the water is heating up.
Me: Really?
Mind: Yeah, just feel the water and I'll take over.
Me: Ok
*after about 30 seconds the water temperate steadily rose ~15 degrees...or rather felt that way*
Mind: Eh?
Me: Ok that worked way too well.
Mind: It's all about focus for you. So what will you do now?
Me: Keep moving forward, ask the people!



I opened my eyes. (note, I'm sure I forgot 3-4 other questions) If I had to describe my mind from that interaction: It's firm, calm, steady, yet compassionate with a friendly vibe. If I had to guess this was likely a lucid dream or something that I haven't really read upon. I don't think it was AP since I didn't really go anywhere nor had super vibrant imagery.

Maybe this is the roadblock I needed to overcome? Anyways, since that shower, I spent an hour writing out a plan for a project I've been hesitant to roll out. I didn't mean to be so thorough with this last entry (these take awhile to write, lol), but I figured it would be helpful for those interested.

maybe it's self-doubt in the external...

help, please.

Edit: Finally managed to chill out for a few moments, read a few chapters from a book, and did some coursework. That helped a lot. Then I took a shower and meditated/practiced third eye stimulation. That helped significantly. I will try phasing tonight.

[4-27-20 - 11:15PM]

I look forward to reading more about your experiences! Keep it up!

Thanks!

Latest Attempts
4-27-20 - 11:15PM Not gonna lie, it's becoming frustrating at this point. Maybe I need to stop posting or stop reading for a bit. But I was able to get to deep relaxation last night and felt the weightlessness again. I did the FILD method and was able to get near the 3d void but I had constant mind chatter and just couldn't focus after the fact. The same process happened about 3x in a row. I'm getting way into my head, ugh.

4-28-20 - 3:40am -Woke up and began doing breathing exercises. Did another attempt but everything felt incredibly hot and I just couldn't shake the thought that it's not gonna happen.

I can't even go to sleep. I feel like I'm investing too much time in this and it's starting to affect everything around me during my waking hours. It could just be that I haven't been home in over a week but I've been so close.

Now it seems to be going further away.

It's 4:30am now and I already feel like this day is already ruined. I'm gonna read, maybe I'll get sleepy again. But it's probably time I ditch the FILD method, it's just not working.

Something's blocking me.

[4-26-20 - 10:46pm:]

Attempt
4-26-20 - 10:46pm: Technically, there were two attempts. This first attempt might have been a bit earlier than usual. I was able to relax and calm down, but I had tons of mind racing about a lot of stuff. A lot of feelings have been resurfacing and while I spent the weekend not doing too much, I feel like I should be doing significantly more. But meditation helps me focus on other things. After about 20 minutes of laying down and relaxing, I was starting to feel weightlessness again, but couldn't really go beyond that. I was just way too inside my head and it felt like I was forcing it.

11:25pm: I adjusted myself and played some binaural beats to help ease the mood. I continued to focus on the FILD method and started to feel more sleepy. I tried to keep my consciousness afloat as I continued to sink into lucidity, I could feel my breathing and hear my heartbeat and started to get a good sense of everything.

Then out of nowhere, I was briefly shifted into the void (or rather, the 3D void?) and saw a burst of energy shoot my way. It all happened so fast that instead of moving towards that, I felt around my body and realized I was very uncomfortable physically (not sure why I directed my focus on the physical, whoops) and had a slow awakening. At this point, it was nearing midnight and I figured to actually sleep.

As for this morning, work up at 5am and tried the same methods but with a 15-minute snooze that would help me not fully go back to sleep. But really I wasn't able to focus.

My headspace isn't all that great ATM. I just feel like total crap if I do nothing all day, it's been that way for months now (likely years) but I'm only starting to realize it.

I know some of my writing isn't exactly related to AP, but I'm a big believer in mindset and tracking bad patterns. Hell, I keep a spreadsheet of what I do with my time in 30-minute increments. This weekend I didn't bother looking at it for no reason other than me not wanting to look at it, not a good sign. I'm more frustrated than anything else. Maybe it's the damn town I'm in or place where I'm staying at or just me, but it gets frustrating to know there is so much out there and I can't experience it.

I'll try more attempts tonight, but I gotta get back in sync with myself today. Not a bad run though, ~4 weeks of semi-strong focus before 2 days of 'bleh'.

Latest Attempts
4-25-10 (technically 4-26)
Night: 12:30pm - Similar to the prior night, I wasn't really able to get any long-term focus. However, I made one attempt using FILD and was able to feel the weightlessness and felt a nice sense of ease. But I never was able to get into a deep hyperfocus mode.

I've noticed most nights I've made huge progress on were when I spent all of my free time on third eye techniques throughout the day. I also noticed that when I do that my mind isn't wandering into 30 different tangents. I also found a newfound realization that even just a focus on one thing for a full day is a lot easier said than done. Or rather, there are so many distractions.

No attempts this morning.

Latest Attempts
4-24-20 (technically 4-25)
Night: 1:15am - Continued to follow my previous ritual of relaxing and working on the FILD method. About 10 minutes in there some visuals, however, I was unable to go beyond that. I did feel more tired and did succumb to the sleep. Items of note:

Wife was up on her phone during this time and talking as I was trying to relax, which threw me off my game a bit I think.
Felt myself overthinking a bit and rushed most of the day.
Likely not in the right state of mind, relaxing took much longer and I only wanted to catch Zzz by the time I tried.
Been feeling antsy most of the day (the quarantine restlessness I guess?)

I don't think I put myself in the right headspace throughout the day or at night. All of the items are blocks that I know that I can overcome in due time. Until I get to that point, I just have to prevent them in the first place and focus on keeping balance.

No attempts this morning.


Thanks for the advice, much appreciated! If I have anymore questions I'll hop on the AP hotline. Also, 100% agreed on labels. If people can't identify something different they want to label it. But hey, I've built a life and career that isn't remotely standard to most people simply due to flipping bad situations into good ones.

Sorry if the reply seems quick, it's been so long since I've posted in forums and writing detailed posts takes more time than I initially imagined.

Welcome to the Astral Pulse!  

I am thoroughly enjoying your adventure. I have been quiet, until now and I am sure others here on this Forum have been as well because you seem to be doing good enough on your own. You are reading the material here in the stickies and other threads and you are not only applying what you have read, but are also working your way on finding what works for you personally.

Thanks! I must admit the first attempts a couple of weeks ago felt rushed and I was looking at YT videos and reading many different techniques, but ultimately it was info overload and needed to pick 1 or 2 and stick with it. I used to do intense visualization on old school chi/ki techniques that, in hindsight, were likely third eye stimulation techniques that I wasn't aware of but ultimately forgot about until a week ago. Then I found this forum via the Frank K web page and spent some time lurking and practicing techniques that made sense. Strategy -> Test -> Learn From XP -> Repeat is my mantra so I would continue to dive in and read the posts that made the most sense to me.

I have to say, I had my doubts, especially when you mentioned the fact that you were ADHD. We have seen many people come and unfortunately go just as fast because they couldn't handle their affliction. You have found a way to make it work though. It's strange how so many people that have ADHD of some other anxiety issues, seem to be so attracted to Aping.

Speaking only for myself; the underrated and broken aspect of ADHD is that hyperfocus is absolutely real and it's a matter of gamifying where the hyperfocus is directed. Easier said than done, but I've only had a handful of hyperfocus missions in my life: School, Poker, Career, and likely AP and Consulting. Learning is incredibly tough for me if I have no relatable tangents to learn from, and by paying attention to my patterns and creating a lot of spreadsheets to track them, I'm able to review and learn from my errors. It's a bummer that ADHD gets a bad rap for lack of attention since it's assumed that it applies to everything. From my perspective, it's simply a matter of wanting something bad enough and having passion worth pursuing.

Don't get me wrong, it's not a 100% fool-proof strategy. Answering the 'what's next' after reaching a goal is often the biggest detriment and where distractions rear their ugly head (until this year, I was in a significant 14-month funk). I may have a theory regarding ADHD and the attraction to AP, sometimes hyperfocus happens automatically on things that we can't control. For me it was related to sleep (that could be an indicator?).

Now to some advice. First off, you can't "force" AP to happen. You can set the stage and be aware of the shift as it naturally occurs though. Second would be to lose all that focus on your what you physical self is doing. In other words, you are too "physically focused" and you will find that detrimental and a hinderance to any further progress. I do that by starting each session with the mental affirmation "By my act of will, I release my focus over my physical body". From that point on, I am simply a point of consciousness.

Yeah, I'm learning that more and more each time I do an attempt. 'Wanting it bad enough' was the logic I took when I started. Though with third eye stimulation and consistent practice on downtime has significantly upped my overall focus levels and awareness as if I were 16 years old again. I hear you on the 'lose focus' on the non-physical part, it's a lot harder than it appears to be. Strangely (err...I guess not with the ADHD) I can make that happen when I'm wide awake or doing an activity. The earlier techniques I tried were from YU and they suggested chewing gum and holding phones before sleeping and imagine feeling it until it's real but that didn't have success. I will admit, the uber slight movement of the fingers do help me not feel anything over time (kinda of like training wheels )

Is there a particular list or link of affirmations available? I've noticed that when I tell myself that 'I am dreaming and I document my dreams' and 'i WILL learn how to AP I am capable of anything I imagine" and that helps, but more would be awesome.

You spoke about commitment to this practice. That is key, depending on how far you wish to go with this. Many people become satisfied with just a "sneak peek" of what could be. Others will go as far as the teaching is willing to offer. As with anything life, your passion and drive will take you as far as you will "allow" it to. I use that word "allow" quite a bit. That seems to be the key to this practice, you have to give it the freedom to take you in which ever direction it wishes. Every night before I go to sleep I use the affirmation "Please take me to your desired destination. SHOW ME what I NEED TO SEE. PLEASE TEACH ME what I NEED TO LEARN". I mentally visualize those capitalized words letter by letter while I mental affirm them.

These are all just some helpful tips and like I said above, you are doing fantastic. Keep doing what you are doing. I will keep updated on your process here. I won't interfere again unless I find something that I feel needs to be said to help you on your journeys.

I've noticed this too on other forums or groups, it seems like most people either post about their journal and proceeds to stop after a couple of entries, or they just have a one-off post and vanish. If I'm able to overcome these hurdles, it will be an absolute game-changer. I feel like I am so close, I can see it in front of me.

All of this has been super helpful. Much appreciated!

[4-23-20]

Latest Attempts
4-23-20
Night: 11:30pm - I changed my pre-sleep ritual to include a set of earbuds with a Binaural Beat brainwave app and set my focus on the FILD method again since the night prior I started to see more intense visual. I figured why not continue to pick up from where I left off. After deep breathing and relaxing myself for about 5-10 minutes, I began to feel my fingers feel heavier and heavier to the point where I couldn't tell I was moving them physically or not.

Normally this is where I would freak out and lose concentration. This time around, I remembered the advice from Lumaza's topic regarding Tests/Quests that it's more of a matter of overcoming signposts and fully committed. More specifically; "Tom Campbell says you need to have the mindset that "if I don't come back from this, so be it". It makes sense, I've always found my best is when I am fully committed 100% and AP shouldn't be an exception. So as my fingers began to feel heavier (note: I move them incredibly slow so I can feel the friction, hear the sounds, and take it all in) and began to visualize a glowing light where my fingers were at. Like I was moving a mouse cursor around with my finger movements but my mind was determining where the glowing light was at. It didn't last long as the visualizations began to take place.

I kept telling myself that these are roadblocks and I need to move forward.As I continued to look into the darkness with my eyes closed, I started to feel a subtle weightlessness like my body was dissipating into air? Anyways, random shapes and vivid images began popping up again. Except for this time, the outline of a homeless guy (not exactly vivid, but I felt the intent) began walking up to me and I was a bit nervous. He asked me for change and I obliged. Then he walked away.

Cool. Time to take on the next obstacle.  At this point, it becomes slightly hazy as I took a moment to take in what happened and began moving my fingers again. Unlike the last 50+ attempts, I was able to keep my eyes focused and not move them abruptly. Everything felt more natural this time around. I then had a bunch of random thoughts that were more introspective than anything else. I might have been lucid dreaming, doubt it was AP though. So I decided if I am this close to sleeping, I should make an AP attempt.

I began visualizing my hand moving slightly up (starting with fingers, then the wrist, then the arm). However, I felt a sort of tug. I directed my focus towards the darkness and let the sleep take over more. The deeper I felt like I was sleeping, the more relaxed I felt and the darkness felt like a pulling force that was slightly driving me towards it. I felt like I couldn't' stay awake unless I reset my position. I opened my eyes (I was surprised to actually pull that off since the experience felt similar to 4-17's attempt) and took a look at the clock. 12:28pm. This was the closest I've ever gotten, I figured to give it another go.

Night: 12:30am - I readjusted my self to lay on my back and get comfortable. This time around my wife turned over and put her arm around my chest. I don't consider this a distraction since I want to get to the point of APing that doesn't require complete solitude (I get it, it sounds counterintuitive but it seems quite feasible. Though I cannot prove it (yet?...or maybe this was the attempt!?). Note: I did change my sounds to a youtube meditation video to see if that would help.

I figured to focus my attention on my body as a whole while still slightly moving my middle and index finger up and down. "It just is" I told myself. If focus is required then I'll hyperfocus by touch and work my way out from there. I was able to feel the weight of my wife's arm on my chest but as I continued to move my fingers, that weight soon became a non-factor. I just imagined the weight of the arm was pushing me into the bed and that my body is as soft as the bed itself, so any weight I felt was due to my body being apart of the mattress (yeah, kind of odd but modern times require modern solutions lol). That might have done the trick because everything around felt heavy and weightless at the same time. Soon a bunch of random images and thoughts began to appear, not a homeless guy but the visualizations were more vivid than ever. Soon everything fell silent and I was back in the void. It was like I had a conversation with myself.

Mind: Where do you want to go? It is your choice?
Me: I dunno, I said I wanted to AP but the visualizations are starting to get intense.
Mind: So what do you want to do? Begin a dream? Try to AP?
Me: I said it before, I must AP. There is a lot of exploration and I still have to check it out for myself.
Mind: Ok. The only thing you got to do is trust yourself.
Me: I've gotten this far, though I don't really know what that means.
Mind: Try moving your hand with your imagination
Me: ...
Mind:  I know you have been having trouble with this aspect. You visualized yourself as being a part of the bed, right?
Me: That's what I convinced myself, yes.
Mind: Just imagine your hand coming out of the bed like a zombie coming out of a grave, but not as abrupt.

The best I could come with at the time was to imagine a super tiny hand that would move around. It wasn't much, but something did click. I don't know what. However, lifting my tiny hand (visualization, not physical) I felt a pull and the darkness started to turn white. I couldn't feel my body again and I kept feeling more sleepy. And again, I felt more relaxed as I crept closer to zzz land. So this time I visualize the tiny hand move up and felt a slight pull from the body. Since I got one hand lifted, time to try the other. As soon as the left hand was visualized and started to raise, I began feeling total weightlessness, like my body was floating in a pool on a summer afternoon.

From here, there wasn't much. I had a visualization of my old bedroom where I was staring at a ceiling fan and made the effort to pull the string to turn off the fan. THAT felt real, but the room was so dark that I was only able to view the outline. Soon after that I was simply too tired to continue and figured to get sleep. I slowly opened my eyes and looked at the time: 1:15am.

Anyways, that's all I wanted to add. Still no AP, just the feeling of me being in my own consciousness and not feeling my body. I got a ways to go, one roadblock at a time.

Sidenote: Every time I feel like I'm not making progress, I ask myself 'why do you want to do this?" and I answer with gusto! For whatever reason, my whole body feels a sense of energy (not physical, but something different) and keeps me focused for a bit longer. If someone else is going through this journey, maybe you'll relate. I just realized I spent an hour writing this, I might need to find a way to consolidate these entries.

I will continue to pursue. I'm making progress, I know I am. But it's so hard, and that's fine. It's fun too, and I haven't had that since my poker days

I was shot and killed in an alley.

That was my first memory. Staring at a guy in his 20's or early 30's in an alley and hearing the sound of a gun firing. , everything became silent and I fell to my knees. 

When he shot the gun, everything became silent after he pulled the trigger. I fell to my knees and everything turned black, followed by white as I felt my body fly up and then it went hazy.

It couldn't have been more than 10 seconds, that was my first ever memory. I don't know the town, or the dude's name, or why/how I got in that situation in the first place.


After that, all my memories became a blend of random visions and dreams until about the age of ~3. I don't know if the death was a past life and I was reincarnated or could be this life? Regardless, I've had a natural tendency to experience the paranormal throughout most of my child/teenage life (to a lesser extent in my 20s).  I don't claim to be psychic, but when I was younger I seemed to have been in tune a lot more with everything around me, and not just the physical.

This thread will include experiences I've had to help create a better understanding of myself, maybe some others have had something similar experiences? I never talked about it much to others because I would be met with scoffs and laughs. I figure some people here will have more of an understanding than the average Joe.

I'll do my best to provide accurate points of reference when posting.

But going back to my first sentence. The scene is seared in my head, once everything got fuzzy a lot of the images that popped up were equally hazy memories of me sitting in a car seat or just laying down (I was probably a baby? Who remembers everything as a baby though?). It just seemed like a non-stop 24/7 barrage of randomness and terrible dreams until I was a toddler.

Sorry if everything doesn't make sense now, as I continue to write more posts over time I'll do what I can to put the pieces together in a coherent manner.

Latest Attempts
4-22: 11pm - I was a bit too excited to try the FILD method and had a bit of trouble falling asleep. So it took about 15-20 minutes for me to get relaxed in bed and feel tired. As I was drifting off, I began moving my fingers ever so slightly. It soon felt like they weren't moving at all and then I would think that I fell asleep and would slightly wake up and lose concentration. I replicated the process a few times, focused on the movement and the more I kept drifting off I would see more white flashes. Admittedly, I felt eager and tried to force myself to dream but then I started to get frustrated. I told myself I need to be patient but right now I'm not in a good mindset, let's reset in the morning.

4-23: 5am - I set a reminder to hit snooze and fall asleep. Unfortunately, I woke up 100% (probably due to my recent trend of waking up super early) but still tried the FILD method in between snoozes. No Bueno, I also got bothered with the snooze interval default on my iPhone so I downloaded a snooze alarm app that can change intervals. Anyways, after the 3rd snooze I was still pretty awake. I went to the downstairs couch and did about 5-10 minutes of deep breathing and was able to get back to a tranquil state. I followed the FILD steps and while I couldn't get to AP or lucid dreaming for that matter, I was able to start seeing incredibly vivid images with some movements between them. I tried to pay attention and focus on the specific images, then my eyes kept following the movements which then likely caused me to feel distracted? Either that or I would think about the image/visuals and suddenly be aware and wake up slightly.  Did this about 5-6 times but still couldn't retain focus for more than 5-6 seconds. So yeah, this is something to work on.

My goal seems to be 'going with it' when I start to fall asleep but still be conscious, however not too conscious to where I force myself to be awake a bit more. Or probably just to remember to move my fingers and to let my body drift to sleep without overthinking. Probably the 2nd one.

Latest attempts.
This morning: 5am, I woke up and went downstairs to lay on the couch. Attempted Franks phasing method but would usually open my eyes when i follow images.



Tonight: I found the thread regarding FILD and everything clicked (I think). I used to do a morning routine that was similar FILD before I got out of bed most mornings. Feeling very hopeful!

[Latest Attempts]

Latest Attempts
4-20-20
Morning: Woke up at 5am, walked around and grabbed water to drink. Went downstairs and laid on my couch and attempted to fall back asleep. As I was able to start sleeping, I shifted my focus towards breathing and looking behind my eyes (I hope that makes sense). I would only temporarily feel weightless but then my attention would slightly shift.

Morning (2): Shower meditation, I find that sitting in the shower with the water running is very soothing and calm and helps me immediately relax. I had some relaxing music in the background and focused everything on relaxing the body.I notice once I am able to do that, I can hear my breathing and feel my heartbeat much easier, regardless of outside forces. After about 10 minutes of relaxation I shifted my focus towards the darkness, this time I was able to start viewing flashes of images, not that intense though imo (like a random image ingrained in darkness, not exactly vivid). Though one image did stick and began shifting into color. Like I was outside staring at a window or door, but by the time I registered that I was looking at something I broke concentration (ugh).

Afternoon: Early wakeup lead to a semi-drowsy afternoon. I tried to AP again by laying on the bed and putting a blindfold on and relaxing. I was pretty tired so I keep telling myself to pay attention to my consciousness as I fall asleep. I don't believe I got anywhere though since I couldn't really see past the darkness when I close my eyes. I didn't sleep either but 45 minutes did fly by :/

Night: Before bed, I spent 15-20 minutes focused on breathing and relaxing. I used a few minutes of third eye stimulation exercises. I wasn't able to AP after focusing for about 45 minutes. There is a silver lining to this one, I was able to see bright white on abrupt sounds that were nearby.

4-21-20
Morning: In the shower-attempted to follow what I did the day prior and wasn't fully able to concentrate.

Mid-afternoon: I wasn't as tired as the day before so even as I attempted to AP, I wasn't able to fully focus even after 30-45 minutes.

Night: I relax, focus, and concentrate without moving a muscle before I sleep, and occasionally I hit that 'weightless' feeling but I cannot visualize my body separating from itself and not soon long after I have a random thought that distracts and then I lose that.



I'll continue to make updates as I attempt.

Question: I sometimes feel my eyes flickering in different directions when I concentrate and getting towards that feeling of 'weightlessness', is that natural?

Welcome to the Pulse!

You can find some great ideas, theory and techniques in the blue 'sticky' sections at the top of each Board. The key to starting this and finding success seems to be that you have to immerse yourself in it for awhile, read about it, meditate and give yourself permission to do it. Then walk away from it for a week or two. For many of us, this is when a breakthrough happens, usually in an unexpected way, during a nap, middle of the night, a particularly lucid dream, etc.

So dig into it, study hard...but don't get over-occupied or stressed about it. Trust that it will happen and unfold for you in its own unique way, time and place.

And feel free to ask questions. Have fun!

EV

Thanks a bunch, EV!

[Journal Entry Catchup]

In my heart of hearts there has always been a feeling that I've been stuck in my own head and that we are all meant for greatness. The problem is that life itself is a big distraction that prevents us from finding/discovering/understanding our individualized missions (imo). I dropped learning AP/visualization/lucid dreaming about 13 years ago to focus on my career but felt like something was missing.

It was only until recently where I rediscovered AP and it's rekindled my love for understanding the mind and oneself. I figure to create a journal my learning AP and document my attempts and progress, as well as other skills that are on my checklist to focus on.

I also will write about any AP experiences (the ones I recall). I see videos on Youtube and documentation on the site and it seems like there is so much to learn but not many people cataloging the journey. I am hard-pressed in believing that no one else is struggling to AP and would find it much easier to be patient and stick to it if they follow along with other newbies as they progress.

So to anyone in the future that reads this (currently your present), let's do it!

Journal Entry Catchup
Attempts (30-40): Below are my most notable attempts

4-15-20Shower meditation: played some Binaural music and felt more weightlessness but no AP.

4-16-20 Night-time: Woke up at 3:30 am and reread a tutorial, laid back in bed, and made a few attempts. One, in particular, was that was placing a significant focus on feeling the sheets on top of me and the bed beneath me while sleeping. My limbs felt weightless and numb at the same time. I tried to do the rolling out of bed method, but I just had trouble visualizing it or imagining it.

4-17-20 It was getting pretty late, and I found myself dozing off to sleep, but made a conscious attempt to acknowledge I was falling asleep and to slightly move my hands on the couch to feel anything. I slowly began closing my eyes, and what initially felt like a blink almost instantly turned into darkness. I tried moving my hands but could only muster up what felt like a vibration. I tried moving my body as well, but it felt like a slight nudge pulling from where my body was physically at.

At this point, I tried to wake up but I couldn't, it felt like the time I had sleep paralysis a decade ago, and anytime I tried to move I felt massive vibrations. Then I had a flash memory of the feeling I had each night for probably the first 13 years of my life when I would be asleep and would see a dark void in-between dreams. Ehhh, It's hard to explain, I guess? After a few minutes, I would try to move my body, but the numbness was still there. Instead of attempting to AP (in hindsight that probably was the best opportunity to date), I focused on waking up. So whenever I tried to move a hand or foot, I would feel the vibration out and time it to start at the exact moment, I would attempt to open my eyes. On the 3rd try, I jolted my eyes open as I began to move a hand. I did wake up.

But, everything felt different for about 30 minutes. Any movement made felt incredibly lagged despite my intent (example: moving my arm up felt like lifting a small bag in slow-mo). At the same time, my arms and body felt super energized (but I still couldn't move anything at regular speed). I managed to open up my notes on my phone and typed any thought that popped in. Any specific insight or conviction that I held was met with strong vibrations throughout my body (verbatim comparably to sleep paralysis). In the past, I'd delete and forget (never really worked out), so I kept typing.

When I finished writing my racing thoughts, I put my phone done and closed my eyes again. Back to sleep paralysis with all the extra energy built up. It didn't last long. I was able to awaken about 5 minutes later and looked at the notes at what I did to get to that state. I tried replicating the notes but no Bueno.

So was this close?


Third Eye Training
I'm sure a lot of my visions / sensory experiences are related to this. As someone with ADHD, I find that obsession is the only thing that allows for Hyperfocus without distraction. So my love for visualization and using imagination is innately there (90% of my visualization is done with my eyes open, sounds weird, but it's natural for me). Point being: For anyone looking to learn to awaken the third eye, using me as a point of reference might not be optimal since I'm pretty sure I had a natural aptitude for this growing up and it was only until 2 or so years ago it might have closed (looking at the symptoms: confusion, uncertainty, cynicism, jealousy and pessimism fit the bill of what I've been dealing with).

I'll do my best to track sessions on training, but I primarily used this video https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=42emhw70HDE as a reference point. Unfortunately, if you are looking for a long journey, there is none. I watched listened to the video (with my eyes closed) and listened to the directions verbatim. About 5 minutes in I felt a tingling sensation between my eyebrows and kept seeing intense flashes of white. Since then I continue to feel a light throb on that spot and have been able to focus much easier on projects and listening since. (Before I would rate my focus level as a 3-4, now it's a 7-8).

If I get consumed in work/life and the throbbing stops, then I will sit on the toilet/shower/bed and practice the visualization again. I'll work on a way to refine this process.



Below are theories/notables on items I plan to learn more of in relation to AP
-Time Travel
-Awaking Third Eye
-Communication
-Sleep Balance
-Entering Dreams
-Recall
-Parallel Universe
-Clairvoyance
-Awareness & AP Quality

Sorry if this post feels rushed, I shouldn't spend too much time here. But I'd rather do this compared to browsing social media or video games. There isn't much time left for me in this realm.

Hi everyone! I go by Joey, or feel free to call me by my handle .

It's been ages since I joined a community, especially on a subject I am obsessed with.

About me; I have always had a sense of the non-physical, and I had many paranormal experiences as a child all-through until my early 20s.

Sadly, in my late teens and early 20's, I began ignoring these experiences as most other people would shun or question what I experience. It's been nearly 15 years since then. At the time I couldn't explain the phenomenons of; seeing shadow people, physical items in reflections but not elsewhere, and an acute 6th sense that randomly occurs at times (sometimes flashes of the future, but it often is a bright white right before random disruption (sound or someone surprising me) happens.

I mention this because it was only recently (2 weeks ago) that I came across a random YouTube video that explained how AP techniques (was initially looking for lucid dreaming). The methods mentioned in the videos sounded strikingly similar to how I used to sleep growing up without knowing, except back then, I had no intent except for continuing a dream from where I left off from waking up.

Circling back to now, it seems like a lost skill. Since coming across that AP video, I've been relentlessly obsessed with AP and have been trying to do it with no avail. I plan to keep a journal of my journey since it helps me recollect focus and continue to pursue.

Anyways, thanks again for accepting me. I still have a lot to learn, I still cannot AP after trying the techniques. I believe I've gotten close a couple of times but haven't been able to actually make it happen. Reading about Frank Kipple's research has helped me focus and I feel a burning desire to learn how to AP and do my own research. This has also been getting me excited to go to sleep/wake up early each morning as well, something that hasn't happened since my teen years. Day by day, I feel like I'm getting closer to doing AP, but this is way tougher than what people say.

The more I try, the more I feel like I'm closer to finding something that I've lost that was once vital for me. I think my most significant pain point is that I rarely imagine with my eyes closed (99% of my imagination is with eyes open), so imagining movement is for me. People say 'you'll know' when you AP for the first time, but I haven't had that moment yet.

It sounds crazy, but I've dozens of images/experiences that I recall before I had 'real memories' (~age 2-3) that happened at some point in my life (mainly until the teens) and I have this feeling that can only be described as an inner voice that says 'don't forget'. But I don't know what I am supposed to remember, the only thing I do know is that the feeling in the back of my head is telling me that I'm close to finding it. I probably have way more questions than anyone has time to read, but for now I'll focus on learning to AP first.