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Last night as I drifted off to sleep, I noticed something strange. I was moving my hands rhythemically about, in an ongoing pattern. It vaguely reminded me of tai chi, as it was very smooth and fluid, almost dance-like in nature.

This isnt the first time this has happened to me, though this certainly was the longest it has gone on (and the first time it incorporated parts of my body other than my hands - halfway through I starting moving my legs as well). When I come to full consciousness, I always realize that it is not my physical body that was doing this, but my astral. Nor is it a conscious desicion on my part, it just kind of happens, always in a very detached, "hey-look-what-my-hands-are-doing-that's-kind-of-cool" sort of state. Like I am merely a conduit for what my hands are doing. If that makes any sense.

Has anybody else had similar experiances of hand gesturing, or have any idea what it could be? I would appreciate any ideas.

Hello everyone.

I'm new here. Woohoo.

What initially drew me here is a bit long winded for an introduction but it more or less boils down to the fact I have narcolepsy. The first signs came in early eighth grade (with puberty), and I was finally diagnosed in eleventh grade... I have all the symptoms of narcoplepsy, sleep paralysis, cataplexy, hypnogogic and hypnopompic hallucinations... you name it.

I have always been fascinated by my dreams, even before I developed narcolepsy... But when I developed narcolepsy several things changed. The first was that I started dreaming more, and in different ways. I hesitate to even call many of my experiances dreams because they are of a different quality than what I associate with dreams... the doctors tend to want to call them hallucinations of varying sorts, as  many of them include a wide variety of sensory input and a connection to my body not found when I hit REM.

The second major thing was the onset of sleep paralysis. I noticed that I could move myself (to some extent) while falling asleep - myself not being my physical self. Usually it starts with my arms, and recently I have been trying to "get up", remove myself from me... and go and wander about, I guess... But I haven't quite managed to seperate the two mes yet, though I remain convinced that I can, I just  haven't found out how... a sticking point seems to be sight, I can move, and every now and then roll out of bed but as soon as I try to open my eyes, my physical eyes open and I am 'snapped' back... it is an interesting feeling, going into sleep paralysis (I seem to have developed a loose control over it)... sometimes I think I can feel my brain waves shifting, and these shifts are accompanied by a shift upward... almost floating above myself... sometimes I am convinced that my actual physical body is floating in the air, but I have been assured that this is not the case.

Anyway, I could go on about some other things that my narcolepsy has triggered, but I think I will stick to this, no sense in throwing too much out there...

Anyway, if this rings any bells in peoples heads I would appreciate it if you would point me in the right direction. Thankee very much!

Alright.

I want to preface everything here by stating that this is all extremely new to me and looking back at the last year I dearly wish I had known even the tiniest bit of this information because... well... I think I would have been more careful with myself.

For the past several years (since the onset of my narcolepsy) I have been having very vivid sex dreams, and having read the article I now doubt that they were dreams but astral sex... The issue I would like to address is that of BDSM, something which I started actively researching roughly a year ago, especially the dominance/submission aspect of it.

The thing that bothers me is this. I developed a habit of sending requests out right before I fall asleep, because they seem to have an impact on my dreams, particularly the really vivid ones that I always hesitated to call dreams because they were of a different quality than my dreams... these are what I now think are astral trips... Anyway, I have a distinct memory of falling asleep (being in that place between wakefulness and sleep) and being very frustrated sexually and sending out a call... Something along the lines of wanting to be owned and controlled and wanting to give myself to someone. I know I have done things like this in the past, where I send out requests, but the reason why this particular one sticks with me is that I don't remember putting any boundaries on it, on actually saying there were no boundaries and the request being left very open ended. Usually I have put boundaries on these requests, because part of me didn't feel safe NOT putting boundaries on them... but for whatever reason I didn't this particular time.

Since then I have realized that a couple of things are changed. The first is that I have lost alot of control over my astral state (I feel uncomfortable calling it that because I have thought of them as dreams for so long). The second is that when I have astral sex it is no longer fulfilling... I feel exhausted physically and mentally afterward and rarely orgasm anymore... The third and perhaps most troubling is that I have had a series of attackers... not human, the closest thing I can compare them to are demons, but I feel silly and like I am overexagerating... Haunting my not-conscious state, (perhaps it is the same being, but changes form, there are at least three different ones that I have identified, a new one coming just after I thought I had driven off the old one. Two I have pictures I have drawn, to get them out of my head and one of those I named because I remember asking it who are you? and it answered, named itself and I woke up and drew a crude crayon (all I had at the time) picture of it and wrote it's name on it)...

At first I thought it was just really bad nightmares, and I would struggle to wake up, to drive the... things... off of me, away from me...But when I started waking up crying and the hairs on my arms standing on end I wondered otherwise... I started to wonder if it was all more than dreams, or hypnogogic hallucinations (a symptom of narcolepsy) when I woke up and turned on the light and was yelling at the thing in the room to GET OUT OF MY ROOM, OUT OF MY HOUSE AND TO NEVER GO NEAR ME OR ANY OF MY LOVED ONES TO GET THE F*** OUT, and my brother came in to calm me down... and I think the turning point was again, waking up after beating this thing off of me and turning on the light and getting my sword out and standing in the middle of my room and whispering over and over "get out. leave. don't come back." And I kept getting these chills up and down my spine, my hair has never stood on end like that... and then the dog in my brothers room started growling.

It was the dog that made me thank that maybe I wasn't crazy and these weren't just hypnogogic hallucinations gone bad, and I started reading into some of this stuff and went so far as to ask mom to cast a spell of protection (she's wiccan) for me and hung sage everywhere... Which is completely out of character for me, I've never believed in any of this stuff... I've not NOT believed, but never believed...

So I am reading over this and wondering if this is even the right forum to post it in... It almost sounds like I summoned something(s) (and I am still having a hard time wrapping my mind around these concepts, but I am flexible and can learn)... But there you have it.

Now my story is out I am at a bit of a loss for what to say. I read it and I still wonder if I am just blowing out of proportion a series of bad dreams, maybe the dog just growled because I was up so late at night... a thousand reasons why I am just being silly... but the more I read the more it scares me, in part because it all make so much sense it explains so much, not just about this string of incidents but about other things as well...

So there we have it. I would like advice, any advice people might have on how to help and where some more information can be found on this, maybe the right forum to post this in... Sorry if it is a little off topic, anyway.

Alright. That's it. I can't think of anything else to add.

It depends on what you call an episode. I tend to nod off at least once a day, esp. if I don't take my meds. I go into sleep paralysis just about everytime I fall asleep, be it for a nap or for nighttime sleep... the only times I don't are when I am extremely physically tired. I tend to have cataplexic episodes once or twice a week, though the severity varies from a split second to a couple of minutes. The 'hallucinations' come and go as they please, though recently I have seen a significant increase in them.

quote:Originally posted by Nay

Welcome to the forums Malevicta []

Can't say I know much about narcolepsy, just what was on the Discovery Channel. []  Looks like it would totally suck though..  Do you have it severly, like everyday do you have a episode?

Anyhoo, check out the download page, lots of info there!

http://www.astralpulse.com/downloads/downloads.htm

Smiles~ Nay