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You did not mention it, but if you are living alone, you might consider getting a dog or a few cats.  If you must work and stay away from your dwelling for many hours a day, a dog would not be good, since they need to go out to poop and such, and they get very lonely and will bark like crazy and tear up the furniture if left too long by themselves.  But cats can do well alone and they never need to go outside, as they can go in their 'litter boxes'.  The Love you get from animals is also very healing.  Just get very loving kitties.  Try not to get kitties from the same litter, because they might stay with themselves rather than bond with you.  Don't get two adult cats, as they might quarrel forever over dominance, but often an Adult Cat will get along well with a new kitten.  A few kitten from different litters would be perfect.  A single cat could also work -- many people own only one cat.  But since I began keeping more than one cat, I've noticed that they do enjoy each other -- playing, sleeping together, grooming.  Heaven's knows what they do together when I am away.  In choosing a Cat, pick the best possible cat -- the one that comes to the front of the cage and looks you in the eye and meows at you.  When you pick it up, it begins to purr.  In other words, choose the Cat that chooses you.  Do NOT pick a cat from the back of the cage whom you feel sorry for.  Remember, that if the Nice Cat from the front of the Cage who is meowing for you does not get adopted, because nobody feels sorry for it, then IT is the one that will get destroyed.   So take the Cat that loves you the most already and who is begging you vocally to save it.  Believe me, it will be eternally grateful to you.  And its love, companionship and friendship will sooth you and give you some happiness which will help you grow past your trauma.

Just to comment on this:

I got a ferret six years ago, and she lived for six years.  She was the one in the back: the outcast.  The misfit!  Just like me.  She would scurry up my shoulder when I was crying and literally lick away my tears.  She would talk to me in her own little language, and she would always listen to me as if I knew what was best.  It was like having a child that never spoke back.  And never screamed "I hate you!" when she didn't get her way.

Then I got a cat that was up front, meowing, always needing attention.  It was the polar opposite from me, in personality.  It ran away after a month, not before becoming very, VERY pissy.  Like a 180 on the attitude.

So, I tried the cat thing again since I wasn't yet ready for another ferret (she was VERY dear to me).  It was a cage full of kittens.  ALL meowing up at the front, wanting me to pick them up, nipping (playfully) and being so damn cute.  Any of them would have been picked immediately, so your theory is total bunk to me, sorry.  But there was a black kitten in the back corner of the cage, awake and shaking, and not saying a thing.  I asked to see him and even while I held him he didn't say a thing.  He didn't even chirp or purr.  But after a day alone with me at home he ADOPTED my personality, or maybe had it all along, and became the best friend possible.  He curls around the speakers when I'm playing Ozzy Osbourne, so I named him Ozzy.  He meowed for the first time when I called him by that name.  He chose me, all right, but I had to choose him, too.

Sooo, I do not agree with your claim.  Save the pet that really needs it!

But, eh, if you're abusive, out-of-control, or angry all the time, just save us all the trouble and don't get a living being.  Get a stress ball.

Hi Bex,
I have been a vegetarian for several years now, before my problems began, actually. It wasn't that hard at all, I think the decision was waiting somewhere for me to take it ... .  I have read several books regarding nutrition and they were very convincing. I didn't even start it in a conscious way, I realized after a month or two that I didn't eat meat at all, and continued not to...
It is a bit weird though, that I could quit so easily eating meat, but I've been trying to quit chocolate for years and still can't.
But it is true, I do have anemia based on a  deficit of iron, and I lose a lot of menstrual blood. I am taking iron and magnesium.
I told my gynecologist that I'd like to try a nathuropatic treatment, but she was very skeptical (although wished me to get well, and if I do she said she'll tell her patients to take that approach too).
I have searched, but didn't find any stories of anybody having hydrosalpinx and getting cured without surgery. But I am really afraid to go through that. There are many therapies that are said to perform miracles, like fasting for many days, or just drinking fresh-juiced fruits and vegetables, or the Oshawa diet, or even urinotherapy (amaroli). they all do have stories about people with cancer or other terrible diseases that were cured, but none of them has the hydrosalpinx listed in the "it may cure" section.
anyway, I hope I didn't get off-topic here, I guess I just needed to get this off my chest.

Keep in mind, just because you haven't read about people being cured from sugery doesn't mean it hasn't happened.  A lot of medical treatments -- surgery, especially -- are not documented to the public.  That is because of a law passed very recently (in the past few years) that, tho' I do not remember the exact name, regards all medical history of patients PERSONAL and CONFIDENTIAL unless the patients release them to the public.  Meaning, it would only be on personal patient-run websites, or journals, or health specialists that had their own experiences.  And these are all websites that everyday people-- even you and I -- could own.  Meaning, anyone could say surgery does or doesn't work.  It could be lies!  Your case sounds very similar to mine;  especially the loss of blood (and the associated iron).  Remember, vitamins!

And good luck.  I do hope for you and others with these problems.  They can feel worse than death, sometimes.

dpop --

Simply becoming a vegetarian isn't that easy.  You have to keep in mind certain vitamins that your body may be losing, since it is hard (and expensive) to be veggie.  I know, for I am one!  I suggest a vitamin called "One A Day".  They come in women formula (blue bottle) and even weight loss (green) -- I take those.  Tho', and this is not to scare you with the pregnancy thing, but simple, over the counter pre-natal vitamins are surging with the neccessary essensials that you'll be losing since you no longer eat meat.  Of course, if you never ate heavy amounts of meat before it'll be easier.  But if you're used to a steak or burger whenever you want, it'll be tricky.  ALSO, since you are a woman (and especially a woman with specific woman-orientated problems) I'd suggest an IRON supplement, too.  Take an acid reducer (Zantac or store brand name, which is cheaper but just as affective) so that the iron does not strip your stomach.  It's all quite safe and you really can't over dose unless you take the whole bottle.  The iron is neccessary because you lose blood through mentrasion.  Not all woman need it, but, you know.  ALSO, ask you doctor (and gynocologist), PLEASE.  They are the experts.  I only know you cannot take iron before surgery, but it is good otherwise.  If you're unsure whether you need it or not, you may want to get a blood test for your iron count.

I can't think of anything else right now, but I'm going through similar problems so just be strong.  <3

The smoker's body cells have become addicted to nicotine, and to quit smoking won't be easy, since withdrawal symptoms can be expected. Here are some helpful tips that might ease the quitting process:

If you're a light smoker, you should quit immediately, only moderately shocking your system.

The heavy smoker should allow two weeks for cutting down, then quit completely. An extended cutting-down period only prolongs the pain. Prepare for an agonizing month or two, though you might get off easily. The close family must give up, too, at least in your presence. It'd of course be best if the whole family quit at once. The pain and agony you'll suffer can be relieved completely in most persons by taking vitamin C to bowel tolerance. That means to take as little as one gram or as many as fifty grams (50,000 milligrams) every day until you reach the point of liquid diarrhea, then decrease the amount until your stools are normal. But "normal", for many smokers, means frequent constipation. Stools must always be soft, never, ever, necessitating any straining.

If anti-smoking drugs help (Nikoban, Bantron, Pronicotyl), good, but be prepared to find they won't. Vitamins C and B1 and tranquilizers often help to decrease irritability and other withdrawal symptoms.

After eating don't sit down. Take a walk instead. Try to avoid situations that you associate with smoking, such as sitting in your favorite chair, particularly after dinner. Try to avoid situations that are conducive to smoking, such as bars, meetings, and boredom. Don't invite smoking friends over during the critical first few months. Never, anytime, let them smoke in your soon-to-be smell-free home. In fact, after you've quit for a few months, you'll notice how your clothes still have a strong residual smell of an ashtray. It may be necessary to clean or clear away every source of that smell, usually from carpets and clothes. Then get ready for a new life of clean lungs and great health. Your non-smoking friends won't avoid you anymore now that you no longer smell like an ashtray.

When you get that urge to smoke (and you will), drink some water. If that doesn't work, suck a prune and keep the pit in your mouth for an hour. Try the buddy system: phone a friend who's also trying to quit. Think of the satisfaction of not having given in to that filthy urge. Think how bad you'll feel if you do give in. Think about how your cigarette money helps support those hypocritical tobacco companies whose income is derived at the expense of the health, wealth, happiness, efficiency, and resources of the addicted smoker.

Try to avoid calories, but if you find that substituting food for cigarettes helps you give up smoking, then by all means have an apple, gum, beef jerky, or a prune. If at all possible, exercise a bit every day, especially when you get the urge to smoke. It's a good substitute, and you'll find that exercising comes much easier as a non-smoker.

After giving up, that filthy urge may remain for several years, so don't start again. Some people are lucky in that after a few months the thought of smoking makes them sick. But don't bank on being lucky.

Cigarette displays, cigarette ads, cigarette machines, anything having to do with smoking, must be looked upon in your mind as existing only for those poor unfortunates who are addicted to that filthy habit.

Life's too good and too short to waste on that filthy habit.

Tell ya' what -- tomorrow, when I'm not completely drunk with lack of sleep -- I'll make a self-portrait icon.  And to waste, nothing!  I am THE anime chick.  Or so my friends say.  I look more like, um, Kikyou from Inu-Yasha?  Another good Rumiko Takahashi anime.  I used to have red hair, like my icon, but it's AWFULLY hard to keep up with, unless natural.  And I am sad to say I have never seen a girl-type Ranma that's natural.

Well, you know how people are.  

Stereotypical.

Most of it comes from me blowing up at idiots and them saying "I thought you were trying for enlightenment."  To which I respond, "I am.  It's hard.  *punch!*"

Ryouga is stronger, yes, but the point Ranma always seems to prove is that strength is not everything.  Ranma has strength and speed, while Ryouga is slower but more brutal.  If only he could tie Ranma down...  bakusai tenketsu!  .. Ehehehee.  Now I'm having images of Ranma tied down and Ryouga on top of-..  ack!  *blush*   There I go, being bad again.

Sounds... busy.  Good luck with that!  And I only know what I've read on Bruce Lee.  Aren't the real videos of him amazing?  I mean, the ones that haven't been slowed down so the audience can follow?  Wow.. to be that great, it's a wonder he was such a nice guy, right?  (I think.)  All I know is that having too many ab muscles CAN lead to internal problems.  I know that because it's something my dad battled with, and he's seen many patients x-rayed and torn up inside.  But that's only in extreme cases!  And that's probably why most of Lee followers look more like Ranma -- all wirey, yet strong.  And it's good to hear your back doesn't hurt anymore.  Probably too much sitting, actually.    I got a tempur-pedic matress cover and it does WONDERS.  They include a pillow too.  It's not as affective as the big matress, but it's less costly.

You could try a bit of both you know Just because most satanists want material wealth and pride/ego, it doesn't mean you have to be like them. It's all about what you want!

It might be more proper to say 'founded' by Anton La Vey, since he's dead now and can't run it. I forget who runs it now... I thought about joining but it figures, the second I do they boost up the membership fee from $100 to $200. Screw that, they'd better lower it, otherwise I'm saving for other stuff.

True, true.  I do think that I *am* a bit of both.  I find it hard to commit myself fully to anything, since doubt still appears every so often.  I've been told by some people that I'm too kind and giving to be a Satanist, but by others that I'm way too fiery and selfish to be a Buddhist.  I know that I refer to what other people say a lot, but it's hard to just ignore other opinions.  I guess a part of me really admires and loves my touchy, yet proud, Aries nature -- and another part wants to be a calm, Shinto priestess in a Buddhist temple.  Eh.  But this isn't the feudal era.

Then I agree with Tyciol.

Well, I'm 5'9", a girl (I'm assuming you're a guy?) and I weigh about 140.  This is slim, at best, or so I'm considering it -- so you shut up!  .. Eh.  Anyway, I -was- at 230lbs, so it's come a long way, yeah?  I tried everything, and I can't say anything BUT working out and eating right helped.  I tried those pills, I tried the belts, I tried the stupid work out videos.  But I began jiu-jitsu again and I just walked everywhere I could and, for an entire summer, surfed every day.  You may not be fortunate in the martial arts or surfing areas, but you CAN walk more.  Even doing yoga is good.  I'm not really sure where you get exercise and eating right being BAD for your body (or muscles) but I do agree that being OVERLY fit is a bad thing.  Hell, just look as Bruce Lee .... worked himself out to death.  -_-  (R.I.P.)

And by the way, I know what Ranma 1/2 is.  It was my first anime.  <3

You and I have a lot more in common than I first thought.

While it might be easier, those losing their minds probably want to AP more than normal people who have more in the real world to live in

I wouldn't really say that anyone is ever "losing their mind".  You may want to choose your words more carefully, friend.  I, anyway, believe that everyone is slowly growing their mind, or letting it stagnate.  Perhaps, those with mental distress are simply in an overload from facilitating new parts of their mind -- new parts that most people leave dormant their whole lives.

Or I could just be ranting from my own experiences.


Q-Dog --

I... how to say this tactfully:  bonking hate mind medications.  After what I can say has been some, ahem, rather extensive researching, I have rarely found cure in the tiny polka-dotted pills that Doc's give to their patients.  It's all in the mind, if you will.  But then, so is everything else, right?  

I think one of those interesting studies I saw (didn't read this one, actually) was something on 60 minutes.  I don't normally watch it, but I sat down with my dad one day to, well, rub it in his face.  It was a study on ADHD medications -- just one of the many that were forced down my throat in my youth.  They claimed that the meds made their patients dull, content and yet empty, or maybe fully fulfilled.  SO complacent that they did not need anything else.  My dad, a doctor (tho' not psychiastrist or psychologist) was shocked, to say the least.  It's what I had been telling him forever.  

My parents began me on those medications in attempts to get me out of my room, have more friends, eat less, and want more out of life.  You know, to want more than video games and pizza.  Little did they realize I was a TEENAGER.  WHooOo.  And not a khaki-clad, highlight-adorning, spazzy slut teenager.  But then it all changed -- I started taking the meds and I was out all the time.  Or alone all the time.  Total 180's were my style, and I eventually lost every single friend, and my boyfriend, without batting an eyelash.  And I told my mother I was OK with that.  And then I didn't need them.  Their little meds had turned fire on them.  I did well in English and Math, but my amaaaazing studio arts and writing skills kicked the can -- or bucket; I forget which.

And this, the 60 minutes, was claiming is what some of the most famous artists of the Renaissance had:  mental illness.  And that if subjected to medications of our times, they would fall into a pit of not caring.  Laughable at best!

So, eh, not a big fan.  I say go for it!  Or, simply, do try NEW energy out.  I think, if anything, you're more aptly prepared than the simple folk downing pills and smiling like good little Suzie's for the peanut gallery.  You seem an intelligent being, capable of what you put your mind to.  And if it helps at all, the doctors used a naughty little term like "schizo-affective disorder" on me, too.  I fooled them!  No meds and look at all my friends, my boy, and my astoundingly well-rounded grade point average.  On top of that, I've been leaping NEW bounds, as well.  

Hey, no harm, no foul -- whatever the bugger that means.

I have been posting for less than a week and I have already read a few updates of healing success.  But these are only few.  I still have only received one response to my post.  As said, however, I have not been here long.

You are very lucky to have a mother-in-law as you described Pam, and she is equally, if not more, lucky to have a daughter-in-law like you.  I will do my best to let her know things will be all right and to aid anyway possible.  Her physical body may not have it easy, but she is fortunate to be so very gifted in other ways.  Of course, I say this without knowing her.  I am sorry for that.

[best]

Clearly, it is an opinion matter, because I do not believe you can heal a person who does not wish to be healed.  After all, if that person is self-loathing then they are acting as a counter agent to the cause.  Meaning, it is best to let one know you are acting for their well-being.  It may also help aid the healing process, because they can think more positively, treat their physical, mental, and even meta-physical selves more fittingly, and the only negative things coming at them are TRULY not as strong as they  and you, as their loved one, are.

<3

I will dedicate any spare time I have to her, but what you must know is that the best healing comes from the source of the pain.  Meaning, she has to do something -- I see she is; therapy, that's good.  I only hope she sees her life worth saving.

Well, I'm not too fond of my illness, but I mainly just got done reading a great book by a great man:  Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas by Hunter S. Thompson.  There was a movie about it a while back -- with Johnny Depp?  It's not for everyone, but for someone like me if really touched some bases (and even scared me a little).

And thanks for the compliments, tho' that is art and not actually me.  I look very similar, tho' I have eyes and my hair is black with purple streaks.  Same length, and hey, it does look something like me -- I really hadn't noticed.  I feel it describes me, tho', as I am an Aries -- very flamey.

Um, tho' not flamey, persay.  Heh.  I have a boyfriend and I am a girl.

You gave me some good advice, thanks.  I'm still a little unclear tho'.  What's the "sure, why not?" answering?  And by having a similar background as me, do you mean you are Buddhist now?

Julius --

I commend you.  Wanting to end this (as I view it, bad) habit is a good thing.  But quitting is different for everyone.  If you're tired of hearing that, I'm sorry, but that's how it goes.  For me, I could not stop until I loved myself.  I was a smoker of three years, and while some consider that not very long, for me, it was.  I remember having similar problems, though none so intense as a loss of astral projection.  If you care anything about yourself, meditation and further steps will only help if you simply STOP.  I did it cold turkey, for my boyfriend (he hates smokers) and for me.  There should really be no other reason than yourself.  In the meantime, try to be more active.  Get foods like mints, lots of spices for your meals, flavoured water, and lollipops (candies like that, that last a while) and continue meditation.  But just stop.  It may be hard at first, but it's a lot easier than "working yourself off slowly."  Doing that is like a murderer saying, "OKay, today I'll simply torture my victims rather than killing them."

I guess.

Last summer (of 2004) I spent three months, which is my entire break from college classes, in San Diego, California.  While there, I surfed the waves every day, while taking measures to keep my skin from burning, and ate the most healthy food (and well-balanced meals) of my life.

But some things stood out for me.

Now, some things you must understand is that I am only recently very ... um, religion-bound.  And not even now do I call myself anything, but I practise Buddhism.  I have 'been' Wiccan, Satanist, and Athiest before.  I've been through many paranormal encounters and experience what people tell me is "lucid dreaming" almost every other night.  And that, I believe, might just mean I am a very light sleeper.  I have recorded nearly every dream since the age of 10 (in journals) and I have flown in every dream I can remember -- which is more than you think, I'm sure.

But one thing I did not believe in was auras.  And one day, after surfing, a friend I was with said I was glowing.  I took it as a silly compliment and we giggled, but then she said I was GLOWING.  I stared at her for a moment and blamed it on the sea weed.  She forgot it and we went on.  I went back to the place I was staying at and showered then went out that night.  With a different group of friends, mind you, one of the people THEY were with said I had a green ring around my enter body -- with white over my face and hands.  I asked her if she was Wiccan and she CRACKED out laughing, saying she was Christian.  I thought THAT was odd.

Nothing happened for another month, then while I was out with the first friend (the one that said I was "glowing") we were stopped in the street by a very old lady.  She was sweet, and complimented me on my necklace -- I don't remember what she was talking about next, but we got into a discussion on health, and the lady took my hands and told me I would not only gain further power to heal myself but was already on the way to it.  I remembered the two incidents about "glowing" and "green outline" from before and the woman just said, "That's right."  Then she walked off.  I actually BLEW it all off as her being an insane homeless person.

Does anyone have anything to say?  I mean, could I have a "healing aura"?  Do individuals have different colours?  I've seen photographers that specialise in capturing auras on film, but they're too expensive for me to just try without first knowing the basics:  how do they do it?  why?  and how do you know when you're just being scammed?

I'm sorry that I talk so much, but this has been bothering me more lately than it did when it all happened.


[edit::]

I don't know how important this is, but I forgot to mention that I have been battling a genetic disease since around the age I started recording my dreams.  I have something called ulcerative colitis, and it is carried by all the women on my father's side.  My grandmother, who I was closest to (of all my family) died from it.  One of my greatest fears is following her in that way -- after all, everyone says I am just like her -- but that lady gave me some hope.  I'm not asking for healing from any of you -- just advice on what this may have been.  It is very important to me.

Thank you.

Please, define "occult."

I have many friends who are Satanists (by the Church of Satan, run by Anton LeVay) and they are by no means devil worshippers or Luciferians.  I dislike people who are so ignorant to not know the difference.  My friends are all good people who simply, as the D&D nerds would say, are alignment True Neutral and not so caught up with worrying about others or having others fret over them.  In a way, parts of me are still Satanist -- as I was a practising one only a year ago.  While now I am following the path of Buddha, I can't help but stray and become a little .. . peeved when I see such idiocy as those who blindly label Satanists as the Christian enemy.  After all, having to INVENT an enemy is elementary and only proves your lack of faith.

I am once again inclined to agree with Fuji (hello, there!)...  Though I have not read all of this on Taoism, I am very interested.  My boyfriend is Taoist, and though his beliefs are very similar to mine (I am also neo-Buddhist) he has a hard time explaining things to me in a way I would understand.  Long-winded and often misinterpreted: this is a Taoist.  Or at least that's how I feel around him.  Thank you for this post, tho'!

I do not think I can add anything, sadly.  Also, I feel I still do not know enough about my own religion -- yes, I am Buddhist -- to say anything more.  Fuji made some good points, and he's right: read some hardcopy books on Buddhism.  The internet is full of people who don't NEED to be published to make a statement.  Therefore, most of it is lies.

I think I agree partly with karnautrahl.  This can easily go hand-in-hand with depressions and mental disorders.  But if it happens all of the time, it's obviously not this ascention; it's something you need medications for.  I have always been rather odd, but lately the humdrum life I'm leading is too much for me to bear.  I'm not unhappy, but I have been taking really early morning walks, not wanted to eat, and sleeping too much at the wrong time.  It's good to know that I haven't just become an adult -- it could be my higher self doing some spring cleaning.

Juliet  --

I have had similar dreams -- one in particular that comes very close to this.  It involved my long dead grandmother, a message of a relative's name, and a "letting go" feeling.  I was in a graveyard, I felt her presence but could not see her, and then I saw "her" in the form of a golden/white light.  Not a ghost, or her soul, or even her -- I don't think.  But she passed to me, "You'll know soon." and I remember saying "I hate not knowing."  The next day I called my mother because it was such an odd dream.  It turns out that the day I was dreaming was my grandmother's birthday.  I had actually never known it; it was normally just a normal summer day to me.

The very next night I had another dream with her -- the same setting, graveyard, and the light.  She took something from me that she had apparently given me before.  Perhaps, in the dream -- perhaps in life, perhaps never -- but it was not mine to keep.  She "looked" at me questioningly, yet knowingly.  I say "looked" because she was light, but I could feel her expressions -- literally; I could feel it, no need for sight.  She placed her "hand" on my shoulder and I said "I know."  She nodded, and as if just to be sure, said my uncle's name, "Chester."  Right before I awoke, I heard a faint voice, like from the distance, shouting a number as if it were a date.  Honestly, I can't remember it, or find where I wrote it down, but I used numerology (a good system) to figure out what it added up to, and it was the same as the date ... it two days.  I had no idea what this meant.

I waited to call my mom until two days later and before I could recall to tell her my dream she informed me that my uncle Chester was dead.  He had a heart attack.  I think that thing my grandmother took from me was his essence, or self, like saying he was OK.  So, the dream for me was a warning and a soothing reassurance.  I never had told my aunt, for fear she might just not believe me.  So, perhaps you should try and contact your friend?  Or perhaps this dream was a way of telling you it's okay now.  That it's finally over, and any regrets or burdens left on you from your relationship with him are gone.  But if you don't feel that way, perhaps it's time for you to seek things out?

Also, there are many definitions of what "purple" means in a dream.  Look them up!  Or ask around.  The meaning of purple, as a colour, can me anything from royalty -- to high spiritual development -- to generousity.  I think, for you, it was a gateway to the beginning of a big spiritual journey for you.  Perhaps he's a guide?  Or perhaps he was trying to show you a guide?  Since you felt an invisible presence around you, maybe that was a symbolic way of telling you to SENSE things and not try and SEE them?

Iunno, I'm new to speaking about this.  Though I'm not completely clueless, I guess.