Messages

I am losing my battle with Crohns today.

I love you all.

Here are all of my dreams

https://docs.google.com/document/d/1-kjj_Ul4mWfdA3BKVDmoWDrhEJNECs4VEuQjcs3CK3E/edit?usp=drivesdk

He's made "that connection", not to the guy himself, but just what he looks like.  For your friend, "that guy" means HEY I'M PROJECTING!

I've had so many crazy dreams lately (for the first time in a long time I'm journaling them), I'm really surprised I haven't spontaneously become aware. 

  It is wild to me, on one hand I'll back into my wife's car with my own and say "Ah yes, I'm dreaming then", but on the other I will see myself in another body in the third-person but nothing at all tells me I'm dreaming.

  I've been wondering about that. What about the body typing this (and its environment) could seem completely outlandish and unrealistic to someone from a different reality, or time? I can flip a switch and illuminate the room I am in. I'm communicating across vast distances to people with similar interests to mine, using a small glowing brick.

   I meditated tonight. I wasn't sure why.

   My mind wandered as usual. "No, I'm not interested in what could happen at work tomorrow, show me the breath." I thought to myself. The worries, theories, questions, these images presented themselves, but I felt nothing towards them.

   "I dont want to learn anything. I don't care tonight. Show me the breath."

   Scenes of stairways unfurling into apocryphal libraries unfolded before my eyes.

   "Okay." I thought, unamused, and returned to the breath.

   A dank cavern whose walls were constructed of flesh surrounded me, every surface undulated and beckoned to me "what now?"

   "Then I will make this place my home, and bring my own light."

   And that's when it hit me. Perhaps this is the lesson I have needed to learn. I can't control if my wife loves me. I can't control if the surgical anesthetics fail again. I can't control if my disease flares up, or the pain it will bring. I can't control whether the love I radiate to this world and its people returns to me.

   However I do not need to. "What to do with the pain then? The pain of betrayal, or that of surgery, or even to be shunned?" the void asked without speaking.

   "I won't reflect it onto others, even those who send it to me. Nor will I absorb it as I have." I thought.

   "How then will you handle this?" it requested.

   "I will convert the negative energy into love, and light." I answered. At this moment my entire being vibrated massively, and I could no longer hold my focus.

   I am writing this here in case anyone else is having a hard time with your lessons. You have my love, and understanding.

-Donut

Okay I can't speak for myself, but a long time friend of mine told me that he always knows he's dreaming when he sees a particular guy.

He's like... "Wait a minute, that guy isn't real, I'm dreaming".

It works consistently for him, which is comical to me because there's nothing unusual about this guy according to my friend. Same guy every time though.

Beautifully said, Donut

In regards of art, at times I can't even comprehend how such beauty can created by us. I was just listening to the below solo guitar performances and my brain went into the quantum realm vibrating with the strings. I was thinking how incredible talented are humans to create musical instruments, to play them so well and to create such sounds that move one's soul. I myself have gotten inspired to learn how to play piano and truly enjoy producing heavenly sounds. Now listening to these guitar performances I wish I knew how to play guitar. But just knowing that I have that capability (just have to learn and practice) gives me that incredible feeling of limitlessness.
Those who like guitar would surely enjoy them.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0ZgdUeN14i0&list=PLjOsvKD7HhPGpTR4mWnFvHajCM1AEbRDT&index=1
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=w46RXaUoXPk&list=PLjOsvKD7HhPGpTR4mWnFvHajCM1AEbRDT&index=6
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=s5QuZPxWam8&list=PLjOsvKD7HhPGpTR4mWnFvHajCM1AEbRDT&index=7
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VuyqyEGukIQ&list=PLjOsvKD7HhPGpTR4mWnFvHajCM1AEbRDT&index=4

  I loved all of these, thanks for sharing! And thank you for your kind words.

  Music is the language of my subconscious. Listening to it is the easiest way for me to achieve a sense of unity with them. The one typing this admires the patterns, the one beating our heart admires the emotions.

  Maybe I'm nuts, but the more I meditate the less my subconscious is something to reprogram. When I watch the breath, I watch her work. I have grown to trust my instincts. As I type this, I modify each word until it "feels" right, then I know we "both" agree.

   Music is an especially beautiful form of communication. Every member of a band "sings" to me, whether they use their voice or not.

To keep discovering infinite wonders. This is the thrill of being an individualized character.

  This is to me, a fundamental aspect of the human character. Perhaps why this form is chosen. Discovery is integral to so many facets of our experience.

  Our fear of the unknown often drives us to the developments that define and distinguish our species.
  To discover conjures quite the opposite emotion, one of wonder and joy. We are hard-wired for exploration.

  We develop language, art, all manner of communication. So we can "remember" more than our memory can reliably handle, and to share our understanding, bestow discovery on others.

We make forums for that too

  This is the beauty of the exploration into consciousness. We are mirrors through which reality can admire itself. It is a divine purpose, the glory of which transcends all ideology and religion. All who are willing can appreciate this in unity.

[Dream Log 10-01-23]

Dream Log 10-01-23

  A narration ensues over a cutaway of four towers. "...a magnetic field was activated from the outer towers, which to the researchers' surprise, coincided with the elevator like descent of the bedchambers in the inner towers..."



Thoughts: This was a fun dream, but I should probably stop watching Ancient Aliens so close to bedtime, lol.

------------------------

  (I am laying awake in bed. Having set multiple timers at one hour increments, to attempt multiple projection techniques, I decide to improvise. I imagine/feel myself fly vertically upward about 10ft, stop, then fall back to my feet. At some point I lose consciousness.)
  I am standing on a freeway interchange, and float upwards about 10ft. "Flying again" I thought to myself, "this time speed is key". I rocket upwards, not as quickly as I can imagine, but much faster than 100mph.
  I breach the cloud layer, and the sky starts to darken around me. The clouds start to look small, and as I begin to see the curvature of Earth, all fades to black.

Thoughts: I am including this as a dream because it did not feel the way my experience feels as I type this. It was very dreamlike.

Then start expanding yourself quickly, like the big bang expansion through vast distances and dimensions. Through the multiverse. Tell me if during that expansion your body starts convulsing.

  My body had a surge it "shook off" as I read this, so I knew I had to go for it.

  This was a difficult exercise for me to understand fundamentally, but I did my best. At first, I tried to imagine a shell of energy around my body, which then I tried to identify as myself.
  This was not successful, I couldn't really place myself there. I tried a different approach and imagined that my awareness was an energy field that contained my physical body too. This worked well for me, and I felt at one with the immediate perimeter surrounding my physical body.
  I marinated here for a while to make sure I really felt at one with the concept, then started a slow expansion. I felt a bit tingly, and so I sent out a faster expansion.
  My awareness stayed mostly local, but I seemed to sense the energy of myself ping vast distances. This brought still more surges of energy.

  "How can I astrally project?" I asked. Then, I silenced my mind and awaited anything that could be an answer.

  Waves of energy pulsed from my core to my limbs, almost in a pattern of once per two seconds. Each wave excited my cells in a way that very nearly brought convulsions.
  I spent a surprisingly brief time performing this meditation and will definitely be committing more time to a more dedicated approach to it. Thanks for sharing!

-Donut

"The Void"



"Space"! 



"Candle", a meditation piece:



-Donut

[Dream Log 01-29-22]

Dream Log 01-29-22

  We approach a downed ship, and there is a helmet with a pointed visor on the path leading to it. Artifacts are found in the ship, and a character says he will have a particular group analyze it, afterword stating that's supposed to be classified but he does not care.

Thoughts: Okay, this one isn't much to read. I wrote it before I thought anyone but me would read it, haha. It sticks with me though, the ship was not alien. I'm gonna fly that thing one day 

In short just let your mind go where it will while doing tasks that require little to no input.

  This has been a wonderful exercise. Teachers of meditation will often say "You are not your thoughts, you're the awareness of them", but I didn't really grasp what that meant until doing this.

  Taking a "look but don't touch" approach to the thoughts and stream of consciousness has also really helped me accept what it is to experience a human brain, and not work to silence it so much.

  Thank you for sharing, this is now a staple exercise for me.

-Donut

Since you are sharing a cool ship experience, I thought I would share one too. It is at this link here. I don't want to type the entire thing again. Why I want you to go to the link is to see the great replies that members here on Pulse gave and the conversation that ensued.
 https://www.astralpulse.com/forums/welcome-to-dreams!/rogue-waves-and-consciousness/msg375653/#msg375653

  This topic was an excellent read, thanks for sharing! Out of curiosity I searched my dream log for any entries on/around 04-13-21, but had none within a month, darn!

-Donut

[Dream Log 09-29-23]

Hello all,

   I have roughly 170 nights worth of dreams logged starting from my early teen years, it has long been a practice of mine. I skip a lot of logging lately, but I thought it would be fun to start sharing some new ones here.

   I won't flood the board with all of my dreams, haha.

   Here are some format notes before I make my first entry:

1: I will put notes in (parentheses)
2: I will replace names with {wife}, {friend} etc.
3: If there are multiple dreams from one night, I will separate them with lines (---------)
4: Date format is MM-DD-YY
5: Sometimes I might end with Thoughts

   Okay, here we go!

Dream Log 09-29-23

   A crew of five man a small fishing vessel on the ocean (I am not physically present, but observing in a cinematic way). The boat has only a single, covered deck, with a smaller boat hung in the rear. The boat is tiny for this many people, and crewmate proposes an idea to the captain:

"We can rebuild the deck, and get rid of the smaller dinghy." He says.

   The captain nods his approval, then returns to a chart he was observing at the helm. The yellowed paper depicts an island chain. A compass the captain set on the chart as a paperweight begins to spread a smoldering hole in the paper. He peers out ahead in grim acceptance of what is to come.
   The ocean drops off in a wall of waterfall that stretches to either end of the horizon, and the ship falls off the edge of the planet. ("How long can they fall?" I wonder, the only thought I have in this dream.)
   The ship arcs and crashes into the water, destroying the vessel. The captain and crew are immediately killed. At this instant, many miles away, a woman in a modern home collapses onto a tiled floor. She has miscarried.

Thoughts: It is rare for me to have a dream where I am not physically present, I wanted to share it for this reason.

Once I did that, I got to see that somehow the pressure was a brief symptom of me shifting my visual focus from my physical eyes over to my "Mind's eye". It is really hard to explain, but when you do it, you begin to see everything from a simple point of consciousness view.

These words really click with me. As I type this, I seem to be in the " driver's seat" of this body. Your point of consciousness description is a direct match for how I feel when a meditation is "successful" in my opinion.

See it through for what it is, then move on!

   This, if I am understanding, is really valuable advice. I remember summiting Mount Le Conte with my wife on our honeymoon.
   On the way up we stopped very often to take pictures of all of the new sights we found. When we finally reached the summit, we wished we had stopped less, so that we could have appreciated the view for longer.
   I have a strong feeling that if I were to behave less like a tourist of this consciousness and more like a sherpa, my progress would benefit greatly. Surely greater sights await.

Thanks for the guidance!

-Donut

You laid this out really well. ( Congratulations )

  Thank you! This means a lot to me.

I have discovered, within myself at least, a certain geometry that lay in the center of the skull. Two interpenetrating conical shapes. Situating myself inside the ( diamond shaped ) center of these I have access to more than I can ever describe. To see the shape/geometry I am mentioning and read a bit more about this <-- you can look here.

   This is profoundly interesting to me. For myself I am noticing what seems almost like a thin tunnel from the forehead straight through to the point on the back of the skull, with the "flexing" area in the center of it.
   Your documentation of these phenomena is incredibly detailed, I am thoroughly enjoying the perspective you offer here and at your website. Thanks for the insight!

-Donut

The Phantom Wiggle sticky is good to read anyways. Lots of great ideas in there.

  Woah, I feel this all the time! I have been training myself to feel this "shiver" at will my whole life because it's just so dang weird and interesting. I am super excited that it may prove useful!
   In fact, any time I try to levitate in my physical reality, this shiver comes on strongly. It was like learning to flex a muscle, and is second nature to me now. Thanks for your help!

-Donut

try stretching your eyes out first.  Circle them all around a few times, close them tightly squeezing them shut, then open and repeat this whole thing a few times.  That should help a bit. 

  You know, I had tried this in the past, but I think I may have been doing it wrong.
  This time I squeezed my eyeLIDS shut, rather than scrunching my cheeks and eyebrows down into my eyes, and it was much more effective!
  This has helped greatly in meditation, though I am finding a blindfold to be comforting during AP attempts so far. Thanks for the tip!

-Donut

to this day I still use a blindfold when I sleep. I want to make sure that what I am viewing is really there. The blindfold takes the "doubt" out of the equation.
 

  I tried a blindfold (we actually have one, we must have at least one of everything somewhere in this house) today during my practice. I started with The Gateway Experience: Wave 1, Track 2.

  I must say that I found it deeply comforting to have the mask on, I think some part of me is worried to accidentally open my eyes and have some kind of NP overlay on the room I am in, haha.
  I remember when I was a child, I used to wake up in the night and every wall in my room was alive, like uncountably many insects were crawling over every surface. I would scream, and my mom would run in to check on me. As soon as she turns on the lights, no more bugs. This happened almost nightly for months, maybe a year. So needless to say, I have some fear to work on  , no use in denying it.

  The blindfold was really nice though, and when I tried an AP session afterword, I was able to stop focusing on my eyes so much and got a lot more imagery. Thanks for the tips!

-Donut

the moment I bring my attention 100% to the trees around me and I start connecting to them, the message pops up suddenly into my mind.

  When I was a kid we had two massive oak trees in our front yard. In dreams they would speak to me, I called them the "grandfather trees".
  My wife catches me in a bit of a trance sometimes staring at trees, for some reason my mind often blanks when I look at them. Maybe I should bring some awareness to those situations.

They come like a huge wave of energy and I can feel their meaning with all my being. IT's not like I read a statement or a motivational quote and my brain analyze its meaning.

  I feel like I experience this to a degree, sometimes during a meditation it seems like I am bestowed an understanding that I then have to apply words to, rather than the other way around.
  And other times my notes just read "The tree seems wise", and I can't for the life of me figure out why.
  Thanks for sharing!

-Donut

When you find yourself staring, lost in thought, gently bring your focus to your thoughts, just enough to maintain some awareness.

  I will try your method, I've attempted mindfulness during daily tasks, however not in an introspective way.

Thanks for sharing!

-Donut

[This will be more effective the more times you have mowed a lawn.]

Hello all,

   I was watching a fruit fly clean dust off of my computer screen today when I realized; I have another meditation exercise to share!
   This one comes from before I knew what meditation was. I was experiencing medication-induced paranoia from my new prescription ("The lamps are watching me and they don't approve." type paranoia), and was desperate to alleviate the stress of it.
   I have this written in my notepad as a "visualization exercise", really it's a form of meditation, and developing it was the springboard into my exploration of spirituality.

   This practice will not be universally effective. This will be more effective the more times you have mowed a lawn.

Donut's Meditation Exercise V2.0:

Step 1: Assume the position.

   Sit in any way that is comfortable. There are a few tips here if sitting is not comfortable:
 https://www.astralpulse.com/forums/welcome-to-spiritual-evolution!/donut-s-meditation-exercise-v1-0/msg379145/#msg379145

Step 2: Mow a lawn.

   Before you hop on your riding mower, or rent equipment and invade the nearest grassy park, please note that step 2 is not to be taken literally.
   Mowing a lawn has an interesting combination of factors. It is not generally intellectually demanding, but it does require steady attention (avoid obstacles, keep in line with your mowing pattern, etc). Additionally, it stimulates many senses. Let's build our meditation.

Step 2.1: Visualize the lawn.

   "I can't visualize." you may be thinking. That's okay, do this instead. Do you remember the most grassy area you've ever seen? Take a minute to compare memories if one does not immediately stand out.
   Have you thought of one? Excellent, the way that you are remembering it is all that is required, no need to strain yourself. "Visualize" is used loosely here.
   Anyway, visualize your lawn, Mom's lawn, or any lawn you are familiar with. Where are the obstacles? What sorts of trees will you need to avoid? Does anything need to be moved or cleaned up before we mow?

Step 2.2: Commence mowerly actions.

   Whether you're mounting your trusty steed of a riding mower, grabbing the ol' faithful push mower, or begrudgingly pulling out Grandpa's engineless (and dull) human-powered gear driven mower, now is the time to visualize the equpment you will mow with.
   Remember what it is like to sit on (or stand behind) your mower, and how you operate the equipment. Now visualize the drive (or walk) of this equipment on the lawn you selected from step 2.1. Mow your visualized lawn at the same speed and pattern as you would in physicality.

   Smell the grass clippings. Are they a fresh, lively scent? Was this a dry season, offering a more dusty smell? Does it tickle your nose, or is the smell a gentle one?
   Smell the equipment. Can you smell the mower as it runs? (NOTE: it is not recommended to intentionally smell any emissions from equipment outside of visualization exercises) Is this a rich, sharp scent?

   Feel the terrain. Does the surface of the lawn rock the mower gently as you drive over it? Does it tilt the handle in your grasp as you push your mower along?
   Feel the air, is there a gentle breeze? Is it a hot and sunny day, or is it cool and cloudy?

   Hear your mower. Is this a low, droning hum? Does it change as you mow different areas, are some patches more work for your mower than others? How does this affect the sound?

   See now your progress so far. How many rows have you mowed? Have you lined up the outside edge of your mower with the outermost edge of the current patch you are mowing?
   Are you avoiding the obstacles you noted before? Do you have any to avoid soon?
   Has the mower cut cleanly, or are there some spots that will need a second go-over?

   Combine all of these senses and observations, and continue to mow the lawn.



   And that's about it! This is effective for me because it involves a lot of senses, is simple to visualize, and is a strong memory for me.
   Mowing a lawn requires steady attention if the job is to be done well, so it is a good task to emulate in a visualization exercise.
   When I developed this exercise, it brought me out of a panic attack and into the most blissful state I had experienced so far. Since then, meditation is a daily practice for me.
   I hope someone finds this useful, this exact excercise won't be effective for everyone, but you can certainly tailor one for yourself that involves as many of your senses as possible, but not too much intellectual resource.

Yours,

-Donut

Hello all,

   I had my first conscious vision today!

   The great majority of my meditation experience has been the common practice of focusing on one's breathing. This has been a daily practice of 1-3 hours in length for the last two years, so I decided to try something else this time.
   Lately there has been quite a pressure on my forehead, between and above my eyebrows (the top point of an equilateral triangle would locate the area, if the lower points were placed at the innermost ends of my eyebrows). I decided this time to focus solely on this pressure, and see what happens.

   I began, eyes shut, with a simple awareness of the area. This developed into massive pressure. At times, consciously relaxing my forehead would alleviate this pressure, so I tried to make sure I was not tensing the muscles of this region.
   Eventually the nameless sensation of my awareness extended from the surface of the forehead and deep into my inner cranium. Not long after this, the focus turned to a pressure, this felt much like I was flexing a muscle in my brain.
   My mind began to wander slightly, and suddenly I realized that I was looking down at an ocean, from roughly 3-4 stories above it. This vision had every bit of the clarity that my eyes give me in waking life. There was movement of the water, it was not a still image.
   The vision faded to black as quickly as it appeared, the entire experience was only a brief moment.

   Yay!  

   Needless to say, I am pretty ecstatic about this. All of my other visual experiences have been at best the type of detail one has when remembering a key event in one's life. This was another level entirely.

   How does this compare to your experiences? Does anyone have any tips to enhance this type of practice? My end goals are to achieve true "theatre screen behind my eyelids" remote viewing one day, as well as full astral projection.

Yours,

-Donut

Yes, my Doorway thread is based on that and has evolved even further to utilizing that. If you want to see my current technique, go to the last few pages of that thread.
https://www.astralpulse.com/forums/welcome-to-astral-consciousness!/the-doorway/

  Wow! I tried this technique this morning and had some very promising developments. Ideas started to unfold by themselves and if not for an emergency phone call, I may have made it out!
  I am excited to experiment with this technique further. This is easier for me than Frank's phasing method, because I have not yet figured out how to observe the lights/colors without activating my eye muscles.

  I also had two lucid dreams last night. In one, I had accidentally backed into my wife's car while driving. I was worried until I saw the front end was missing, at that point I immediately knew this was a dream. I floated up through the roof of my car and past a tree. (REMAIN CALM) I thought, excitement tends to end these experiences. I started a slow ascent to space, but as usual my vision went black before I reached it. (CLARITY NOW, VISION NOW) I attempted to command to myself, but as I suspected, I was awake and looking at my eyelids again. Worth a try, haha.

  In another dream I was laying in bed, but it was my bed from my previous house. Knowing I was dreaming, I laid in my dream bed and attempted a phasing technique. A portal opened within my point of view into space, it was like having tunnel vision, and there were more stars than I have ever seen. I looked through this and was blinded when I accidentally came across the sun. My vision was black, and I soon realized I was again looking at my physical eyelids.

  Thanks for posting these links, I feel I am close to beginning new journeys!

-Donut

Below is a copy and paste form another topic I started on the Pulse. I think it's somehow related to your experience in regards to sensations of consciousness change of location and expansion.

  This was a great read, thank you! I am always interested in how others experience their journeys.

"I started something new during meditation which triggers instant body convulsions and electric shock like through the brain. Can you guys test it and let me know if you experience the same reactions. I have never had that happening through the many years of OBE and all kinds of meditation and visualizations.

Sit in a comfortable position (you can do this as you are falling asleep as well) and relax all your muscles especially your forehead and face. This can be done in a minute or two. Then imagine you are sinking into the chair/bed (should take one minute). Then imagine that you are all around your body in a form of energy (exclude your physical body from the sensation). But it's important not to imagine you as a pint of consciousness somewhere outside your body. It has to be the entire energy field ALL AROUND your body in all directions. But you have to imagine it as being you, not some type of energy around you. It has to be you, feel you expanding, just not your physical body, but the energy you only. Then start expanding yourself quickly, like the big bang expansion through vast distances and dimensions. Through the multiverse. Tell me if during that expansion your body starts convulsing.

I bring back the attention to my body as soon as the convulsions start, but if I do this a few times on a row, it seems to subside and equalize.

  I will have to try this. Often when I attempt energy work, I get surges of electrifying sensation that seem to cause an involuntary convulsion, like my body is "shaking it off". I get the feeling that interesting experiences await if I can learn to stabilize, contain, or direct this energy.
   Any time I have attempted in waking life to levitate as I do in dreams (as a test of whether I am dreaming), there are massive energy surges such as this.

Many thanks,

-Donut

Hello all,

   I had a bit of a transformative experience during one of my meditations today, and I am curious to see how this compares to the way others view things.

   While focusing on my breathing, it ocurred to me that my relative position had shifted from the "seat behind my eyes", to my diaphragm region.
   Often, people are instructed to "move their awareness" during spiritual exercises, but this was a different experience altogether. What seems a more accurate description would be that I found myself (consciousness) located in the diaphragm region, aware that I was not behind my eyes anymore.
   There was no loss of consciousness, my surroundings just... changed? It was very subtle and difficult to put words to.
   I was also still receiving all sense inputs as normal, I could hear and feel my physical environment, but that information seemed inconsequential.

   I am curious, how does this compare to your perceptions? Do you "go" places, or are you unmoving, while your environment itself changes?

   Since this experience, I find it quite simple to quickly alter my perceptive origin to other parts of my body. Could I leverage this new mindset to help me achieve conscious projection?

-Donut