Messages

I went to a Catholic school, so when I joined activities like the summer baseball league, I was in a group of mostly public school students. I didn't know anybody, which meant that I was quiet and just remained friendly. But they were inexplicably rude, rowdy, and mean. To them, and to their parents, they seemed to think that their behavior was normal. I even sensed hostility towards me from their parents, but I didn't know for sure. This continued on into high school, when I finally joined the public school system. Eventually it seemed like people were growing out of it... but I'm not sure!

Lol, welcome to public school.

But I think the other guys are right. Your subconscious is powerful, maybe you think they won't like you so they don't.  Maybe you should tell yourself that people would like me while meditating or whatever floats you boat.


That is kind of odd though, do you look at them weird? Do you give them any weird body language? Are you treating them differently than before?

And more importantly, remember not to overreact, everyone has their bad days.

mentslity

Kids have a "pack Mentality", and some adults never grow out of it. Usually the things that define the pack are a leader that they all follow, and a target that they're all against. If you're vulnerable, you make a good target. Nothing unites people like a common enemy, and a kid who can get one or two other kids to share his hate of someone will be popular very quickly. Of course, he can loose it just as fast.

Hopefully, it's all behind you. In any case, watch out for it amongst adults.

Cheers,
DS

Sounds like someone might be screwing about with your sense of reality. I'd have it checked out before jumping to conclusions, but that's just how it comes across to me.

Well, like I said, I'm still not sure I believe in negative spirits & all, but I have had some first hand experiences with people's ability to influence other people. The most common one is where you start picking up the thoughts of the people you're dating. I knew a girl who used to dream the things that I was doing for real. I know someone who I speak to occasionally, and often she seems to download a little "newsreel" of the things she's done. It seems to unwind over the course of about an hour in my head. Interestingly, I can only decipher things that relate to other experiences that I've had or have happened to people close to me. That was very weird!

Anyway, it could very easily be someone thinking intensely in my direction.

Phooey!

--DS

Hi, Telos!
What you're talking about is something that I can tell you a bit about. I was a pretty shy kid, too, and I worked at it & observed other people. Nowadays, I'm a pretty boisterous guy, and when i tell people that I'm really very shy (I still am, inside) they laugh.

People pick up their cues as to how to react to you from you! If you're shy and withdrawn, people will react to you with hesitancy. If you feel people won't like you--they won't!

The problem is that, within you, this happens very often at the subconscious level. So that if someone's been mean to you before, your subconscious is going to make you send defensive cues that you may be unaware of. The other person will pick up on this, even if you don't know you're doing it.

What worked for me was just plowing through anyway. "Fake it till you make it." Until your subconscious gets feedback from the external world, it's not going to give up, but when it does, the changes start to happen fast. And if you keep at it, it will change.
------------

I've been feeling much better after doing the rituals & prayers. Wouldn't have believed it, but there you are! For months I felt a dark cloud would descend on me a few minutes after waking in the morning, & drag me down all day. That seems to be gone now, but it made me emotionally needy for a while, and that, maybe more than any other influence, opened the door primed my for the hostility. I think I was already a bit of a drain on 'em, so the slightest suggestion of 'empowering hostility' took root easily in them.

I don't think there are any prayers to bring my friends back (If you know em, tell me!), I'm just gonna have to win them back on my own, if I can, through time, avoiding direct contact, "weathering the blows" & by always being positive & energetic & uninjured.  Whether I feel it or not.

Cheers,
DS

Let me see if I have it right....you tick off people, without your knowledge?

I don't feel any hostility from you..lol..so you seem ok to me but then again, this is your first post.

Nay

Oh, I'm very non-hostile. Not quite Ned Flanders, but maybe closer than I'd like to be. I think I can be a lightening rod for some negativity.

D.S.

Wait 'till you get to know me!

Seriously, though. I waffle between thinking it's me (and unquestionably  it does have to do with some things I'm doing), thinking it's bad Karma or manifestations, and really feeling that it's coming from outside of me. It does feel like the heaviness that motivates me is coming from outside me. Lately I began to have moments of depression in the office when no one's around. Way in the back of my head I sometimes fell a tiny "voice" saying "nobody wants you here." I know I'm appreciated by many of my coworkers. The other day I began to wonder why my internal dialog was talking in the third person--why I'm not saying "nobody want ME here?" Creepy.

Today was much better, though. A cup of herbal tea, R.B.'s banishing ritual, & a good dose of prayer (I'm not the praying kind, either!) and I awoke this morning without a heavy cloud over me for the first time in months! I'm still a bit anxious, but it's a 1000% improvement!

Still, the hostile behavior of my former (hopefully, soon to be again) friends in the office has been set off and rolling, and it's going to take a long time to get back on track.

D.S.

Hi, all. I'm hoping someone can help me, I'm at my wit's end.
I always thought it had something to do with my personality, or my attitude, or my subconscious, but I'm not so sure, anymore...

Seems that friends, particularly female friends, lasted about 2 years. Then suddenly, inexplicably, they lost all patience with me, became rude & condescending & finally they, or usually, I, broke it off.
Well, now it's happening in my office, and I can see more about these people, and what's ticking them off, and it's really weird. The pivotal thing is that they all become furiously enraged, and either deny that they're enraged or perceive that I'd done something unforgivable--that they couldn't quite remember. In almost all cases the people were--are--emotionally important to me, or just people i really trust. In any case I'm vulnerable only through them.

In the last few instances, one was a woman who suddenly perceived that I'd revealed her personal info (I don't know any),  one was a superior at the job, who I got along very well with, who suddenly tried to get me fired, but couldn't provide any reasons when his supervisor took him to task on it. One is a very close office-friend. She took ill a week ago, but after recovering, refused to talk to me, or even make eye contact, for days, just sat glaring into her computer & mumbling. After a few days, she became very talkative with others in the office, but radiated a hostility towards me so palpable I could feel it when standing behind her.

There seem to be odd hallmarks--whereas anger produced as a result of a specific action or argument fades after a few hours, this rage stays white-hot & self-justifying for days or even months. This anger is almost palpable, like an oily cloud. The individual expressing it, no matter how close to me they are become distant & condescending, and it's impossible to establish rapport to discuss anything civilly. The one's who've acted on the rage & taken steps to hurt me in some way often seem to experience a streak of luck immediately after.

'Bout me: I'm generally a very up-beat guy, energetic & cheerful. I practice energy development, kundalini meditation & chi gung. I believe in Etheric energies but not really in supernatural spirits (well...). For the last couple of months, I've also felt a heavy cloud setting on me, starting a few minutes after I wake up. Lately, I've had some emotionally difficult events that I seem to be reacting to out of proportion (possibly because of my energy work).

Can anybody make heads or tales of my situation? Gimme some fast & permanent help?

Thanks!