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Hello Tiffany, my name is Phil and I have been meaning to write you a message. Am I right in regarding your situation as being a result of Kundalini activation? I have withheld writing a post as till now because I wanted to think before offering my advice, as I know personally how terrifying it is. I experienced a spontaneous Kundalini activation as the result of a 5 hour intensively introspective MDMA trip and cannabis use. Whilst initially blissful, it soon descended into nightmare and paranoia, the fear of losing my mind, attacks by entities and a feeling of being damned to hell, the devil taking my soul whilst God looked on and either did nothing or commanded it. On this I still ponder.

If you read my first ever post it will transpire that I actually found out what was happening to me was a Kundalini activation (it has since subsided slightly) as I had no idea what was going on. My friends were powerless to help me, and so I thought I was.
This is my advice...believe none of it until you find it accords with good reason and results! I also include links to websites which have enormously helped me through this time and helped me find balance.

I am very much in agreement with Summerlander. Your experiences are happening because you are the best tool to self-right with. Anti-meds treat the symptoms, not the root.

I have a number of ideas that might help you be able to manage your experiences towards a more beneficial direction, especially as to regarding your Kundalini. Do you experience any Kriyas? By that I mean spontaneous movements, like stretching in yoga poses, shaking, mudras (hand positions) and the like. A crown chakra opening may stimulate Kundalini, but might not actually be a full blown Kundalini. Anyway, these things may help regardless.

First, Grounding.

This is one of THE most important things to learn. Grounding is what keeps you connected to the rock we .
are on, it keeps your perspective, a healthy sense of self, and a rock solid foundation so you won't be swept up when the more exotic effects of Kundalini arousal sweep by you. You are going through some immense changes and experiences and it helps to have a firm foot on the ground to be able to deal with it.

As your name implies, I'm going to suggest that as Vegan, you are suffering from a lack of protein. Fish, meat, even Tofu and vegetarian sources of protein can be beneficial to root you. It isn't essential and doesn't even have to be for a long time, but I would advise trusting your intuition on this. From what you say you are generally along the right track. You are 'feeling' your food, and your body knows best! I have read... and don't quote me on this, is that raw flesh can be an acquired taste. I can't verify it by my own experience but you may care to do some research on it. Processed food is certainly a no-go.

Do earthy things, put your feet in the dirt and feel the connection to the planet, make something out of clay, plant trees, garden ( if you can), these are all very grounding things and might help in helping to control your OBE's as you won't be so out of body.

100% Crown is an awesome achievement, and very rare. But you have to take care of the body too. The Root of the tree is as important as the branches. How is your muladhara chakra? Many yogi's consider schizophrenia a result of too much crown,  too much heaven chi and not enough root or earth chi.

2. Smile. Go ahead, smile. Notice how automatically you begin to lighten up? Smiling physically also enacts a response in the brain to be happy. When you make it an everyday thing, your brain is writing up neurons and pathways that associate experiences and life in general with positive associations. It will also help alleviate the fear, which is your adrenal glands buzzing away filling you up with fight or flight. Don't worry, your body is having a time adjusting itself too, drink lots of water, it helps alleviate it. Oh, and watermelon.MMM.

Part of the greater context of what you might be experiencing is chapel perilous,the dark night of the soul.It has many names but usually involves a dark and frightening period where it seems like God doesn't answer your prayers, and you worry if there is one at all. St. John of the Cross is a notable Christian mystic who experienced this, you might like to read up on him. It's like a... self actualisation process. God (or Universe or greater reality or whatever you call it) puts you alone for a while so you learn to stand on your own two feet. It'll make you stronger,believe me. Embrace your femininity, you are (outwardly) yin. It absorbs and it is typically depicted as the dark side. Sometimes evil.  It's bloody tough either way. Heaven hath no fury like a woman scorned etc. Find balance and yourself, the experiences will get less intense as you become stronger. Water is yin, soft, yielding. Yet is it weak? Your experiences are like heavy rocks, lots of negative ones and 1 or 2 good ones. But water eventually erodes the rock, and creates waterfalls.


As for the 'entities', they may or may not be projections of your own subconscious. Lots of people have their own ways of dealing with them and you would be wise for reading up on this.
Good advice I have been given, (which also confronts the problem and treats it like something real instead of imagined ((because these experiences do seem real don't they))) is the fear they generate in you is also part of their food. An easy meal is someone easily frightened. Increasing ones own energy through energy work may help you,or then again it may not, and may actually worsen the problem (Kundalini is a tricky business). Remember no harm can come to you. If you smile, keep your tongue up (on the bit behind your teeth), ground yourself, and change your energy signature, you might find you become quite bitter to something used to a strict diet of poor energy. Hygiene is good on all levels.

"Closing your eyes tight"? Tightness is something one does when frightened, its a closing down, stress, fear, hormones. Remember the smile? relax. If you tighten up your body believes there is a threat and makes this kind of fear feedback loop. Break it, stretch, listen to loud music. You can ignore them. Bullies tend to leave people who don't get bothered.

Meditating will probably increase your energy and may feel you leaving spacey, so leave it out for the time being. You can always come back to it when you are more settled.

Now here comes the crutch. Marijuana.
I used to smoke a lot of it and it got me into a lot of trouble, spiritually,physically, mentally, the lot. My own personal view on this is that it does have a significant effect on Kundalini energy. Shiva smoked pot. Shiva is the transendent total awareness of the universe and possibly beyond. Pure consciousness, bliss. The two are related. Think on this. Ingesting spirits acting on your spirit.The stronger spirit wins. Now, this is fine usually for the large majority of people, but then you are not ordinary are you? the likelihood is is that it stimulates your nervous system to such a degree that it becomes overwhelming. Uncontrollable. In other words, dependent on it (to produce these 'positive' spiritual effects and to regulate your nervous system. For now, YOU need to be taking care of it, not relying on something outside yourself. Your body has natural cannabinoids anyway.

If you keep OBE'ing, you will find your head clearer without weed getting in the way. Hormones aren't fluctuating in your body ( and if you think it doesn't matter because you are out  of body - remember your chakras are what distributes energy throughout your various 'bodies', including your physical one.

Don't forget, humans tend to regard "Love" as the most powerful force in the universe. Equal to, and synonymous with, God. Pauli2 is on to a winner. You never know what sending love their way might do to them. As you 'become' more of love and less of fear, you a) gain better control over fight or flight, fear lessens...  b) become less of a tasty snack ( you might reflect that 'negs' might be just creatures stuck on feeding off low quality processed human food because they never learned to cook for themselves A little love might actually help them on their way and c) dissipate negative energy flows throughout your body. Keep going, I know the fear is hard to beat, but eventually you will win. Have faith in yourself,and remember you can always "make Love". Practice practice practice.

I know these might just sound like a load of ramblings, but I've been in a very similar situation and I am now a lot more balanced, through a lot of what I have discussed. Also, apologies if this is the wrong place to post, I know I'm going slightly off topic but you may find from here inspiration.

It what you take from here doesn't work, then you don't need to keep it, your truth may be very different from mine. Variety is a good spice. In any case, most of what I learned came from the following websites, books and interactions with people undergoing similar experiences. You are not alone.

Google -
Biologyofkundalini
Gopi Krishna
St. John of the Cross
The Kundalini Digest (or Kundalini Gateway. Very useful website, lots of great and knowledgeable people).
The Kundalini Support Network ( a yahoo digest similar to the above. Again, you may find answers here).


I hope this helps you with what you seek to achieve. PM me if you would like more information.
God Bless
Phil

hahaha I love the way the press and the materialists react.

The truth always goes through 3 stages,

First, ridiculed,
Second, Violently Attacked
Then shown to stand up to the truth that it is.

That is of course assuming that it is. Time will tell eh?

So generally, what I think the message is here is that the alteration of Jesus' teachings caused an incorrect interpretation of religion which continues to this day, and is mostly the cause or justification for the US gettin on its high horse and eventually trying to take over the world. Gotta start somewhere and that somewhere is oil hmmmm. Secondly, the message is also that there are certain interpretations of the Quran which also, blatantly leads to a systematic identification of the 'other' as hostile, Jihad neccessary for 'believers', and Crusades neccessary for 'Believers'.

Ultimately, I love the books but hate the organisation.

I think thats what we need to understand. It's not the books that are in any way wrong, its mankind imposing itself on it to use it for its own ends. Ego all the way.

I think without the insitutions, if everybody had their books, and prayed in the way they wanted to, without being told that they have to do this or do that in the name of their religion or God, (which is rediculous anyway because every scripture is about the one God (and his/her many forms) we would have a lot less trouble in the world. And a lot less agro in this forum. 

In my mind, Jeehad, Jesus was right, God almighty in the flesh. Just as many of us are, and have the potential to show it. Just gotta work on those chakras.

http://abcnews.go.com/Primetime/story?id=2925021&page=1

Thought this was quite funny.

woh woh woh guys. I'm sure we all love the debates (I know I do), but lets not get aggro about it please.
Personally, I prefer reading the bible symbolically, as opposed to literally. And I don't know about the Quran because I haven't read enough of it so I'm not going to judge.

I think we're all agreed the main message is that God is One, and to love him as we love our brothers and sisters. Can't we just leave it at that without bickering over whos got the biggest holy book. If your book helps you to love God, then are we prepared to lay aside any particular faults that we as limited human beings may find within the words of those who came before us? The message is of peace and love. And that is what we should emulate. In my mind, I think holy scriptures are a tool for us, to help us to grow in consciousness and understanding, and as Jesus said, "greater things than I shall you do" (or something like that).
We apply ethics, find our own resonance within our hearts. And if it resonates, how can one another say that one way is the right or only way? We're all at different stages in our spiritual growth, and as long as we're trying to reach up and out with understanding rather than superiority, or boggling over the little details, we'll make a lot more progress.

Just a thought. My own two cents.

Dream Theater yay

Of course, during spiritual search, there will be a time when you feel like you are very alone. In my experience it is the 'Dark night of the Soul'. Its a purifying and strengthening process for the soul. I'm sure if you keep your faith you will reach the other side. Remember Dante had to go through the whole of hell to reach heaven.

I'm not even sure about what to think about this. And given the fact that usually I do have something to think about it, that quite frightens me.

I had a vision the other day, disturbed me quite a lot.
It was a rectangle, in Green, kind of like coming from beneath a dark pond, it rippled faintly, with a braided border.
The words said "The End is Nigh"
and beneath it were three words written in Hebrew, not sure what they meant.

And you know what the funny thing is?
I actually think its already begun to happen, just as the scriptures said.

For a purely visual idea, you guys should look to the poets. Read Paradise Lost, by Milton. Now.

Epic stuff

I plan to make a film version of it one day

Peace.

Happiness is in the persuit of happiness, because it promotes goal-reaching and action for a positive outcome. Read Samuel Johnsons "Rasselas".

And anyway, surely the meaning of life is to make meaning?
why, 50 000 years, did our ancestors draw cave paintings of hunts and things like that? As humans, it is a natural drive to try and make sense of the world, to find out of all this chaos of the universe a purpose, a purpose given, and its our imperative to follow it.
Why did Prometheus steal the fire from the Gods? To bring back a new level of understanding and bring it to humans.
We boldly go with our minds, telescopes and religions to the farthest reaches of space, to the big bang itself, and to the inmost peace that 
resides inside.
Psychology helps, but let me assure you it is not the ego which carries our desires and thoughts for happiness, it just translates them from our subconscious or indeed Self, on an individual and a collective level.

If you ask me, we're all searching for something, we're looking for the reasons to live, whether they are in the context of the grand plan,
family, success, love, the will to live it permeates through all things. To bring illumination to the darkness of unknowing. Is it possible to know everything? Of course. One day.

Right on, thanks for your help guys. Time to get on the straight and narrow.

First of all, thanks to all of you for your help, its been tremendously insightful. I'm still not out of the woods just yet but I know I'm making progress. Since I've been concentrating on the positive the bad thoughts seem to only try and catch me off guard, and are faint. I'll keep you posted on how it turns out. I'm keen to know what was meant in regard to an immersive experience, in the labrynthe of the human psyche that I'm in it would be helpful to know what pitfalls to avoid.

Phil

(Deep Breath)

Hi all, this is my first post so please be kind.

I have a problem of sorts, and I have no idea of what it means. Ultimately theres so much to explain but 'll limit it down as best I can.

I'm a third year English student at a university in England, 20 y/o. Now, we all know what is to be expected when one goes to Uni. Drink, Drugs, Debauchery, Highly philosophical chats and poor living conditions. It's been one of the most radical life changing experiences I've ever gone through, but what do I know, I'm only young. Anyway, it was round about Easter of this year when I experimented with MDMA. Yes, I know, Naughty Naughty, but it was such a positive experience, I spent the entire night talking about all these philosophical truths which I had been recently reading, and for some reason, they just.... sunk in, I could feel it, like opening my eyes to the world, truly, for the first time. Misguided you might say, but theres something about drugs which pertains me to say, they can open the door, but they are not the way.

Anyway, so I start developing synchronicity. As I began to explore the possibility of rediscovering God in my life (who I had largely, repressed, I suppose as a result of bullying, and a tragic heartbreak - largely the reason why I felt I had to search for myself [and accordingly a relationship to God], to find true happiness), I started asking questions. And it was like the answers fell from the sky, books, tv, movies, conversations, they all seemed relevant to the questions I was asking, and I can't tell you how comforting that was. I started reading about C G Jung and his theories of Self, Shadow, Anima etc, the Fisher king myth, myths in general, kundalini, the bible, sections of the qu'ran, and generally every piece of religious, philosophical and or transformative information I could find. In my youth I remember reading about 2012, 11:11 and in rediscovering it, is how I came to find this website.

Anyway, one evening, I was lying in bed, and I felt this huge surge of warm energy in my groin region, it raced up my spine and I just remember this voice, just before it happened, saying don't worry, its still you, just a brand new you. It sounded a bit like me I guess. Next thing I know, Nirvana, or what I can relate to as experiencing my "Self". Accordingly, I woke up and it was like heaven on Earth. Happiness all round, no desire to sin, only help to my fellow humankind.
It lasted for, I don't know how long, but it came to pass that ultimately, I fell victim again to one of my age old addictions, masturbation. I knew I shouldn't have done it, but I did. I felt the happiness leave me immediately. Now, one can assume, from my point of view, that my first reaction is, "Oh God, I'm damned". Made me very depressed. So it comes to pass that I'm still smoking weed, and still getting a funny tingling sensation in my head. I had started hallucinating at some certain nights that I was stoned. "Quit the stuff", I hear you cry, but I am a man, a boy, a fool if you ask me, and I've still got a lot to learn. So one night, watching The Machinist with a friend of mine, it gets to the scene where the guy imagines himself going into the fairground ride Highway to Hell. Now as I'm watching this I see an eye, from above the tv. It kind of, goes into my head. I can't really remember it to show you, and I've tried looking for it. Now I'm scared the bejesus out of my wits.
Lying in bed at night, still stoned. I hear a voice, its like, laughing evilly, and laughs as I'm trying to pray to get rid of it. I ask it who it is, it sais its Satan, come for my soul. Now, feeling like Faust at the last I'm summoning all my strength not to let the same kind of experience happen, to not submit. It lasts all night and I seemed to be losing. Just as I'm exhausted, this light kind of appears over me, a plant with four leaves, green, floating on the water. She (for she spoke) said, "leave him alone guys its not fair" and I felt very reassured after that, the negativity just seemed to fly away.
Reflecting on this, I read in C G Jung's Man and his Symbols that in life there are 3 'sublime' encounters with the self, usually happens around mid life crisis (the first I guess, not for me apparently). It takes on 3 different guises each time, first - Guardian Angel, second, the devil, and third, Death.

So a few months pass, and I'm daily hearing negative voices, as well as positive ones. The negative ones keep reminded me of my past sins, or the one I am ashamed of the most. By chance, I discover this website at the same time, and buy the book "our ultimate reality" and a load of guides on how to tame the "shadow" as it were. I fight the negative voices by replacing them with my own positive affirmations. Some days I seem to be trouble free, some days they wont p off. Usually they come when I think of a friend, who happens to be quite natural and claims she has telepathy, i.e a certain level of mind feeling or reading. I guess these 'negative voices' are trying to reveal my past in a way that will damage me, or so I think. The best tactic for me seems to be repeating In the name of Jesus Christ leave. A lot of the times my body is affected too, I feel like energies/things are dropping out of my root chakra, or it feels like me bum more like, makes me immensely paranoid, if you get my drift, even though theres nothing material physical happening.

After getting into meditation, and practising a meditation on chakras (again, I was stoned earlier in the day but not in the evening) and then.... I'm lying in bed, and I feel this energy draw up from my root chakra, it goes right to my throat, it curled around, and I had to breath - I could feel prana almost, it was definatly a different kind of breathing,  I feel almost paralysed, but not, just airy I suppose. I close my eyes, and see a body, a mirror, filling up with the colours of chakra energy, it corresponds with how I feel physically. I hear a voice - "chakras activating" or something (yeh, I'm getting suspicious by this point too) and a light illuminates around me, gold, almost latticelike. I'm supposed to read that my aura has been "re-energised" but I don't know what to believe at this point.


So it comes to today, I've had insomnia for the last 3 days. No sleep at all. I'm still smoking (although I am making plans to maybe give up, but when I smoke it just seems like the veil is lifted and I can see all the answers that I don't normally pick up on... dunno, strange), and then loads of energies descend to my root, I'm getting all shivery, and I make my way back from a friends house cos I cant feel it. Whiteing out, in local terminology lol. The voice comes, and I presume the same 'sublime' event is expected to happen again, but since the third one is supposed to appear as the reaper, I don't wanna go through with this. I come onto this website, and hear about 'negs'. Now, I dont know much about the spiritual world as I'd like to believe. I believe, nay, 'know' it exists but I can't project, im not telepathic and in general I abuse my body like the rest of the students, I'm not sexually promiscuos anymore, because I believe its a divine marriage and shouldnt be abused (yet I still am sometimes compelled to masturbate, hypocrite or what).

I ask this presence who it is, three times. He replies "I am you", which in a way is my problem, do I believe it is or isn't. After a fourth time it stopped, and I see some more hallucinations, not clear, but a three headed snake, and maybe two things, looked like fish type creatures, circling round a bubble. I don't know what to make of all this, so maybe somebody here can help. I don't know any psychics or aura readers or anybody like that round here. Would baptism or joining a religion help? My faith in God is unshakeable, I know it all will work out in the grand scheme of all life ever, and that comforts me, but at the same time I fear for my own life.

To a large part, I'm taking the stepts to devote myself to a spiritual cause, I can just feel its me, although its purpose, and my purpose, I know not. My lifes work is now devoted to bringing to life some work which will encompass philosophies, my experiences, spirituality and the like. Maybe a concept album lol. In due time however, I know this will mean making a choice. Giving up drugs or not, although if anyone can shed some light on the following article -http://www.erowid.org/plants/cannabis/cannabis_spirit2.shtml I'd be very greatful as to what you think on this too. Drugs are definatly not an intended part of my life after university,

So. Here is my request for healing and advice, what the f in blazes is going on with me? and can you please help and pray for a poor soul in need of guidance, both to give up his convictions and to shed light on these strange events taking place in my life. Its taking me all of my courage to press the post button, because I realise in some respects I must sound like a paranoid schizophrenic, but I've seen too much to say that that is just it. I know its something more. So please, any comments are welcome. And sorry for making you read so much.

Yours humbly.
Phil.