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Messages - Brad

#1
Robert,

As you requested, here is my description of my Kundilini experience.

When I was about 18 or 19 after a few previous psychedelic experiences and some reading of spiritual matters, I decided to use a large dose of LSD to attempt a full blown mystical experience.  I was very interested in experiencing what created us then as directly as possible (how simplistic most of us are at that age).

As this was in San Francisco, during what has become known as, "the Summer of Love" I had access to both real LSD and a wide diversity of spiritual thought.

Though I was then, already a vegetarian, I prepared for the experience by fasting for two weeks, eating just a bit of brown rice and black tea each day. I did breathing exercises and meditation and spiritual reading and contemplation during those weeks.

On the appointed day, I didn't eat anything.  That night, when everybody else in the house was asleep I put 1225 mcg of LSD 25 under my tongue.

I began with some breathing exercises.  

Then I began a meditation, based on an article I'd been studying in preparation for the experience.  

The meditation was to hear and focus on the highest frequency I could hear in the inner ear in my head.  Then to completely focus on the sound as it got louder and then higher in frequency.  

It actually happened, the sound got louder and higher, in jumps, each more intense.  This seemed to cause a sort of a "critical mass" situation.  Each jump had the power to initiate the next jump in power is the only way I can describe it.

After a short while the effect was unstoppable, the sound got much louder and higher.  In other words, it was as if a critical frequency was reached and it caused both the increase in sound loudness and frequency which seemed to be unstoppable.

I felt as if my brain was going to explode.  This all began to happen after about 10+ min after ingestion of the LSD, or so it seemed.

Then I knew that I was going to die.

I staggered into the next room to tell one of my roommates that I was going to die.  

Patronizingly, she told me to go back to my trip and that I was just having a hallucination.  

Somehow, in spite of the terror, the studying and preparation I'd been doing kept reminding me of the experience which I had been preparing myself for, so I didn't panic.

I returned to my room and retook the meditation posture, which I had been in here-to-for, and decided to accept my fate.

If I was going to die, I accepted that.  I put myself into the hands of our creator.  After all, wasn't the whole reason I'd initiated the experience?

When I next opened my eyes, what a "hallucination", I "saw".  Everything that I was looking at in my room was really a huge snake.  

When I say huge, everything within my view, which was not me, was the snake.  The snake was exquisitely beautiful and seemed to be of the constrictor type.  There was no question that the snake entirely dominated the situation.  I was totally at its mercy.

Then the snake put its huge face, right up against my little nose.  Face to face.  Nose to nose.

Part of what happened next, was what validated what you were saying as being truthful, to me, was what you said on the Art Bell show, because I'd long suppressed the memory.  

It just seemed that this memory was so Freudian, and consequentially seemingly discrediting of my story, that I had never told anyone this part of the experience.  Because next the snake seemed to have its snout between my legs and was tapping or pounding me there.  It was like a reptilian rape.

Suddenly, it seemed like the snout of the snake broke threw something and was going up into my body.  

I felt then as if something molecular happened to me and that the serpent had an atomic way into me which I could not stop. I remember gasping for breath at this, as it filled me up.

Then I went into convulsions, but just in my upper body as so much power surged up through my back.

I'd been sitting on a couch, in a meditation posture and I felt my back just arching in a way that I thought was going to just snap my spine.  The convulsions were just uncontrollable, unrelenting and gruesome.  I felt as if I were a rabbit in the jaws of a large dog.

If you have ever had what we in the U.S. call the, "dry heaves" you may know what I'm talking about.  For those of you unfamiliar with this slang, "dry heaves" means to puke, or throw up, with nothing in you stomach. It's just unrelenting and unstoppable. But what I experienced was more powerful than that.

I've often told those to whom I have related this story, is that the experience felt as if someone had put opposing poles of extremely high powered electrodes at the base of my spine and top of my head.

Then something else happened, and I felt as if my brain and mind became light.  At that point my experience was joy and ecstasy.

Next, I found myself in an exalted room where there were two beings which I interperated as being like the Christ and Buddha.  I am not claiming that is who the beings were.  I will say that the beings seemed to be quite exalted and wise.  They seemed to be surprised by my appearance.  I do remember looking into the eye of the Buddaic being and seeing into his mind. I remember light bright clear white light.

At this point much of the detail becomes vague.  But I felt as if I was taken by a third being and shown many of the deeper secrets of creation.  Later I read of some of these things in Vedic literature.

FYI I have taken many other psychedelic voyages since then (though none for about 15 years), some of then also extremely large doses (12 gr. Of psilocybin mushrooms for example).  Though I have had many deep spiritual experiences I have never had an experience which was similar.  I certainly have not had the physical experience of the convulsions  and the back arching which I did during my Kundilini experience.

Other than that I can only say that the experience was the most powerful, important and pivital of this life.

Sometimes I've felt as if I stumbled into this experience before I was spiritually ready for it.  But then on the other hand part of me says you cannot have this experience until you are ready.  I just don't know.

Brad


#2

Robert,

A couple of thoughts.  I have been going over my memories of my Kundilini experience, in preparation to writing as an exact memory I can, 30 years later, both for you and my friend Natabara Das, consequentially I've been regaining some related memories long forgotten.

One thing which I had put into the backroom of my memories, which I've recently recalled, was something which I thought you might find interesting, particularly since you are an expert on psychic attacks and self defense of such.

The day after I had my Kundilini experience, someone I'd never met came to the house where I was living and sought me out.  Later I found out that his explanation of why he showed up there was, at best, suspect.

I lived in a large apt, sort of a commune, which was popular back then.  I mention this because no one in this apt. knew this person, who came looking for me, as I later found out.

The man who sought me out made no secret to me that he was a black magician.  In fact he tried to recruit me into his group.  After meeting him twice and making it very clear to him that I had absolutely no interest in his proposals I never saw him again.

I've always wondered if something about my kundilini experience attracted him to me.  Actually, I don't see any other explanation. And in a way this experience has always confirmed to me that I was on the positive side of things and that the experience was valid.

But some of the information the black magician discussed with me brought to my attention and got me to study a writer you should know well, Dionne Fortune, the Qabilist author of Psychic Self Defense and other books on the Qabalh.  This meeting was what got me interested in the Qabalah and related occult studies.

Next, though I mentioned that I'd given up studying traditional masters, teaching and the like, for less stuffy, orthodox and dogmatic teachings to look into near death, hypnotherapy etc.  I have learned much from these studies.  But I will admit that I haven't seen a word regarding kundilini and some of the matters which those whom I've described as "dogmatic, rigid, stuffy, self important.

It is clear to me that there is a paradoxical reality going on here (at least with me) which I do not understand. There seems to be some validly to some of those stuffy old dogmatic masters and some of the so called "new age" philosophers as well.

Just my limited opinion.

Brad


#3
To Adam and Jouni,

Thank you so much for those sites!  I had no idea that there was so much information availablt re: Kundilini.  Wow!

Also to Robert Bruce thank you for this site.  What a great resource!

Brad


#4
R[maroon][/maroonRobert,

Though I too am not interested in an arguement on reincarnation, I do want to point out the following:


Their is beginning to be abundent proof of reincarnation.  Though I will provide more info in the future, for now I suggest the book, "Old Souls", I don't remember the name of the author.  It is about the work of Dr. Ian Stevens a psychiatrist who devoted his entire career (38 years) to documenting people with provable memories of past lives.

Though during the kundilini experience which began this disscussion I did experience that all time is in really NOW, paradoxicially I still think that their is something to linear reincarnation.  This may be a sort of illusion I don't know.

I don't claim that I met deities in my kundillini experience.  The beings I observed did not have name tags and no voice boomed out introducing them and they did not shake my hand and say that I'm....  I have no idea of who they were.  I'll only say that at the time they seemed to me too be like Christ and the Buddah.  I will say that I think they were beings far advanced from me.  That they were on the side of the creator and beings of much power, insight and wisdom.

You asked, " But there seem to be a number of realized Eastern masters, who generally adhere to very strict beliefs, disciplines and practices. Why is this so?

I can't answer that question.  I will offer some opinions.  Could one answer be the regitity of orthodoxy?  

I think that the work of Michael Newton, Ph.D. a hypnotherapist who has written, "Journey of Souls" and "Destiny of Souls" and many other hypnotherapists and near death researchers and channels clearly prove that we do choose our parents, lessons and circumstances of our incarnations.

Though I long studied the Qabalh and many other occoult and mystical systems I stopped for the stuffiness, regity, self rightousness and self importance, I found tainting many of those teachings.  In spite of the fact that I know that many truths can be found in these systems, I wanted information from the source, if you will.  Or at least as close to the source as I can find.  That would be souls who have either been to the other side or were there.

For those reasons I've focused my attention on information from near death experiencers, hypnotic regression, and some channeling information (Seth and Michael, FYI), rather than the, "Masters" who adhere to very strict beliefs and practices.  Though I do strongly believe that some of these "masters" do have knowledge of these matters I'm really tired with the pomposity, regitity, and self importance many of these folks often display and offer as "fact".

More later,

Brad



#5
Robert,

A few more quick thoughts.

I will elaborate and fill in the details of my experience later in the week.

As synchronicity has had it I was composing a note to someone else regarding all this when I heard you on the Art Bell show.

Though I may have to reedit that note for this forum it will have a clear description of my Kundellini experience.

My description may be a bit longer than most of the posts I've had a chance to skim on this forum.  Will that be a problem?

But for now, I will say that I've always though that the experience has changed me at the molecular level. I felt as if the experience was an initiation in the classical way.  I felt as if I was turned inside out - if that means anything to you.

You have no idea how glad I am to finially find someone who has had a similar experience. (or perhaps you do).  But in my experience, though I've known some fairly open minded folks I've never experience anybody I've run into who has been able to accept my experience, except in a symbolic way.

The experience was not symbolic at all to me although it involved symbols.  It involved physiciality in a way that I don't want to experience again.  However, touching the metaphysical planes so consiously again would be my happiest moment.

Thanks again,

Brad

Brad



#6
Robert,

Thanks for the replyl.

I will describe my experience in detail and at length in the near future.

In my experience, the experience was as physical as it can get.  I thought my back was going to break because of the energy which came up through me.  Which was part of why I accepted my death and threw myself to the mercy of what created us.

Then the experience became as metaphysical as it can get.

It may be that people experience this at different levels.

I have lived a very intense life and all I can say is that experience was as intense physicially as it gets.  Metaphysicially as well.

I have much more to say on this.

I hava much more to ask.

Thank you so much for your response.

Brad

#7
I'm sort of in shock, I heard Robert Bruce tonight on the Art Bell show.  I was only half listening to the show- I'm not very interested in psychic attack.

Suddenly, I realized that I was hearing someone describing, the same experience I had over 30 years ago;  Robert Bruce, almost exacty as I had experienced it, was describing raising the Kundilini.

I'd never had my experience validated until now.  I'm profoundly grateful and confused as well.  You see, until now, I wasn't sure that my experince wasn't unique to me.  I did find out about the Kundilini after my experience, but never in detail.

I'll write more about this more later, but briefly:

When I was about 18 I fasted for about 2 weeks, eating just some brown rice and black tea each day.

I studied the Tibetan Book of the Dead and other spiritual information which I had available.  

On the day when I was ready I didn't eat anything and  took 1225 micrograms of LSD.  For those of you who don't know that is about 1025 micrograms more than is considered a dose which is necessary for mystical experience.

I had a big one.  Robert Bruce described it tonight.  The main difference between his experience and mine was that I met only two beings, and that at the time, interpertated them to be, Christ and the Buddha.  The beings I saw were much different than Mr. Bruce described. However hey did not introduce themselves.  They just looked at me with surprise like how did you get here?  

Another diffence, the snake I saw and experience was MUCH bigger.  At least when looking at it.

One of the interesting things about my experience is that I had never read or heard of the Kundilini, until after the experience.  After the experience, I did a lot of reading and did then become aware of, "raising the Kundilini' and the serpent power.

However, until tonight, upon hearing Mr. Bruce and reading these postings I have never had my experience validated so profoundly, or with such detail.  Although, I've always known that the experience made me different than most other people, I thought that I had an exaturated memory of the experience because of the LSD.

In a way the experience has made me almost insane at times in my life.  That's because since then I see life so much differently than most other people.  I just don't understand their values or fear of death.  I don't understand why most people dis-believe in reincarnation.  I don't understand how much ignorance and brutality the majority of people find acceptable.

I haven't read here or anywhere of people having spontanious rasing of the Kundilini by using psychedelics.  Are there more of us out there?

Though I do not regret the experience it sure had caused me much pain and confusion, in this life.  Is there anyone out there who can give me some advise or help with this?

Hearing Robert Bruce tonight makes me more confused.  Now I know that I had a valid spiritual experience, not just a drug one.  Yet, I've felt so abandanded by what I've always felt should be my spiritual protectors and advisors since then.  I felt at that time my acceptance of this vaster spiritual reality should have provided me with help and guidance.  Seemingly, I've had none.  What's up with that?

I'm really open to suggestion on this, at least on this forum.