Spite,
You know you're not crazy and if thought passed through your mind and you can consciously remember thinking "no" then you know. I would say that you possess a higher energy level in your primary energy system, particularly the 6th chakra, you might see the color purple sometimes where you consciously look at and mostly at night when it is dark and your driving looking straight ahead. More than anything your mind and thoughts are there for those to hear and act too. Because of this your awareness of your mind and the thoughts that pass through your head our picked up by frequencies similar to yours. The good thing about meditation is that is is focusing of your body, mind, emotions and spirit through practices that balance all the energy bodies that make up your being. More than anything it is at best to slowly integrate a conscious thought of your actions and thoughts and their aim and intentions this can allow for you to integrate good ideas into the astral realm and the the minds around you. If anything take it slow and just observe these things it is wonderful, the harder you try or the harder it becomes the farther off the path you have become so keep where you are and do some activities that enforce a level of concentration whether physical or intellectual. When you have a gift you always have it sometimes it becomes hidden underneath all the chatter and un-important thoughts that fill many heads in this babylon world of constant action. So it seems to me you have overcame many barriers in the last four years and your mind has cleared itself enought to reach others and not be sucked into your emotions. With that in mind start integrating acts that you want to accomplish that positively effect you and others around you, financially, relationships, the arts and expression, anything. And slowly work on practices that involve concentration such as physical activity or reading, energy is energy and when placed in certain areas it can have wonderful effects on our bodies, minds and spirits. Be aware of your surroundings and thoughts and have the concentration of an action and thought and on your breath, posture, state of mind, and thinking ahead, slowly.
You know you're not crazy and if thought passed through your mind and you can consciously remember thinking "no" then you know. I would say that you possess a higher energy level in your primary energy system, particularly the 6th chakra, you might see the color purple sometimes where you consciously look at and mostly at night when it is dark and your driving looking straight ahead. More than anything your mind and thoughts are there for those to hear and act too. Because of this your awareness of your mind and the thoughts that pass through your head our picked up by frequencies similar to yours. The good thing about meditation is that is is focusing of your body, mind, emotions and spirit through practices that balance all the energy bodies that make up your being. More than anything it is at best to slowly integrate a conscious thought of your actions and thoughts and their aim and intentions this can allow for you to integrate good ideas into the astral realm and the the minds around you. If anything take it slow and just observe these things it is wonderful, the harder you try or the harder it becomes the farther off the path you have become so keep where you are and do some activities that enforce a level of concentration whether physical or intellectual. When you have a gift you always have it sometimes it becomes hidden underneath all the chatter and un-important thoughts that fill many heads in this babylon world of constant action. So it seems to me you have overcame many barriers in the last four years and your mind has cleared itself enought to reach others and not be sucked into your emotions. With that in mind start integrating acts that you want to accomplish that positively effect you and others around you, financially, relationships, the arts and expression, anything. And slowly work on practices that involve concentration such as physical activity or reading, energy is energy and when placed in certain areas it can have wonderful effects on our bodies, minds and spirits. Be aware of your surroundings and thoughts and have the concentration of an action and thought and on your breath, posture, state of mind, and thinking ahead, slowly.