my astral body

[i smoke and drink coffee]

Hello.

Well, I have a confession for you people here.  I am a 'warlock'.  Yes.  I am Chad The Warlock.  Back some ten years ago, I held a ritual and gave myself to the dark side.  I still go practice balancing magick to try and compensate for that dark day.  Involving my consciousness with satanic things led to my destruction as a light worker, and The Brainwave Phaentia ultimately paid the consequence for my actions that day.

I was a Role Player, online text freeform.  I had such and such characters, most of them were 'evil' based.  Not what I wanted.  Too much confusion...!!  The character that I became in my physical life continues as Chad The Warlock.  This can be considered egotistical if you so desire from your standpoint, in my life, it is a real identity and something that I have to break free from.

The Warlock Clysic Gion was the one that I based my new demon flesh on.  This is a real demon flesh,  it is my physical body.  Being a satyr to start with helps with this sort of thing.  Now, in this 'demon flesh', I must say that it does take away the entire astral aspect.  Sacrificing my astral body to gain physical benefits.  Hence, warlock, traitor, and such.  Clysic was just a character, however, his scientific method of becoming my demon flesh is a real feat that can be accomplished by astral energy.

Clysic has no aura.  His soul is trapped in hell within a circle of burning roses.  I have no aura, and my soul is trapped in hell, rather, my spirit is bound to the darkness.  Clysic's flesh begins with the Darkcraft Destruction Zone.  This, converts material structures into more of the DDZ.  After material structures have passed through this very fine layer of enchanted / infused space, it enters the Arkain Flesh.  The Arkain Flesh will simply hold the DDZ at the outer layer, but!  All other types of energy are converted into more of the Arkain Flesh, this helps the body to grow.  After this layer, there are two or three more layers in which finally, you reach Clysic's Circle within the Parasitic Hell Atom Base, a quantum void where the story has it's height in that within the circle of burning roses, there is a black hole and creates this entire dimension of being.  Whatever makes it through the Ocean Of Waste and the Necron will face Clysic in a battle of ultimate magick, and ultimately be converted into another PHAB.

Due to computer complications, there were some who tried to claim this character before he was even invented.  I guarantee you I never seen those character sheets, and they in no way influenced my decision to become like Clysic Gion.

After going through ten years of literal hell, suffering, telepathic assault, soul reavers, flesh cutting, and terror, I am ready to put down the Clysic Gion / Chad The Warlock character basis.  This will be concluded tonight at the exact same space where the original ritual was held.  I'm not looking forwards to the walk, and in fact, might avoid it and go another route.

There is the matter of 'existence'.  If we want something to exist, it will.  Then it is a matter of focusing it until it exists absolutely.  Nothing exists absolutely, except for the Holy Spirit.  Zen, right?  So now, I feel and am reminded of that day when I gave myself to the darkness.  I'm sorry folks, it was never what I had hoped for myself, and now, I am trying to get out of it.  If I can focus and hold an existential state, as Hyperion Beam or Astral Form, I can break this spell and get on with my life.  This won't help the telepathic assaults, only building a stronger, more vivid auric field will assist in blocking the parasite.

I've noticed that in my dream state within the passed few weeks, I've been turning into smoke and flying around as a cloud of smoke.  This is not very satisfactory to me. lol, so now, what I'd like from you people, is a basic idea of how to go about generating an astral body that can be sustained.  I have my own ideas, input would be appreciated.

For instance, some people put up wards before they go to sleep.  These wards can be bound in physical objects or just a basic 'someone is coming' trip line.  In the same way, I hold to effectively become  a living ward over the next few days.  My coming court and trial does not concern me that's human stuff and they just push it too far.  'Attacking' a cop with a magic wand, yeah right, they should be ashamed of themselves for what they did to me.  Anyway, in becoming a living ward, which I know, has it's dangers, it might be possible to break the dimensional seals and attain an astral projection. 

It seems to me that the astral is the multiverse where consciousness is multiversal, but can be focused to experience any desirable reality.  I'm not worried about this warlock stuff, it's well time to put it aside.  What I'm worried about is whether or not I'm going to be able to get my astral back.  Or will I be left vapid, hollow, an empty shell?

So that's it.  That warlock stuff is why I have no flow to my consciousness, well that and the fact of their 'medicine' retard stuff.  Retard pills.  Anyway, let me know if you have any ideas as to how I should go about reclaiming my astral.  In my mind, I see it as an unfolding like a flower of some kind.  Like a new life.

[light487]

Been way too long since I was into all that "stuff".. but couldn't you just generate a thoughtform body in whatever likeness you would prefer and then after projecting as a "cloud", you could slip into the body and take control of it? It's your thoughtform that you have created.. like a shell, empty and waiting for you to go inside and take control. You'd still be essentially the "mist" or "smoke" but you would fill up the shell with your mist like a bubble or balloon filled with smoke.. then control the thoughtform body shell as you would the physical body shell.

[Lionheart]

 To get your "Astral" back you need to come back to earth first. You need to do things that ground you here for awhile, you are living WAY too much in your Phantasy World. You need to go outdoors, take walks, do things that will ground you otherwise someday you are not going to be able to return from your Phantasy. Your "illusions" are starting to overtake your physical mind now. I am not saying this out of disrespect I am saying this because I wish to see you find some kind of balance between the two. I Phase twice a day, but I keep the Astral and the Physical in the correct zones they belong in. I mostly Phase to learn and log down my lessons almost everyday. Once in awhile I Phase to just go enjoy scenes that I can't see right now in my home. I hope you are logging your sessions as well, you could be an aspiring Sci Fi Author for sure.
As for the Warlock, I years ago started to delve into the world of Magick. I still practice Dragon Magic, but I realize Magick is all about intent, just as Phasing is. MJ and I create handmade Dragon Sculptures for a living. We call our art "Elemental Dragons", we have a scroll for each and I sell them to people with my intent of bringing good things into their lives. That's my touch of Magick, it doesn't have to come with any kind of ritual, for ritual is just another way of showing serious preparation and intent in achieving your goals. I don't title myself as a Wizard or Warlock, any true Magick practitioner knows that is not needed.
I hope this helps you, you seem like a very educated and decent person. I have no ill regards to you and am not saying this as one of those people that you feel are here to stop you from achieving yours goals and aspirations. I am saying this as a fellow Traveler!
Safe Journeys!  

[i smoke and drink coffee]

Thanks for the advice.
Due to my conditions, perhaps, sometimes, I overreact and 'go reviling'.  I am not Jesus Christ, so I figure, what the heck, let's get rude and be vulgar sometimes.  It's not the way, that's for sure.

The only complication with what was said is that I'm not currently engaged in any phantasy world stuff.  Not actively, not with my conscious awareness.  If I were, it would be a totally differerent story.

Phantasy is fine, we all need to base part of our consciousness in the dream/ fairy world at times, otherwise, we lose some of our energy to the mundane reality. 

I am sorry for some of the things I've said on these boards and elsewhere. 

Also, I would like to add, that at the time of my becoming satanic and giving myself to these role playing characters, there were other characters that I tried to absorb into my physical being.  I would generate them, write it all down, and merge with it to the deepest part of my being.  Whether or not it made it to the Sanctum is beyond my knowledge.  I would think that my Higher Self would not allow such things to completely overtake me.

Since I made that above post last night, I have found my way back to a source of energy, and it is simply 'dream energy'.  The energy of falling asleep and dreaming seems to have refreshed me, and my cognitivity has been boosted.

I spose I didn't explain it very well.  This whole 'warlock' thing is fine for someone looking for trouble.  Basically, if you can focus it, you can make it exist.  Hence, we have tv and radio and even internet trying to shift our focus to one or the other particular type of reality.  Psychotic tv commercials, unrealistic behavior, and so forth.  Seems like I should ground.  After my coming trial, I will not be able to smoke pot or drink or any of that, only problem is that I'll be medicated much the same at the same intensity.  Could be lethal, as I'm having heart complications due to the drug.  Point being, perhaps I will also try to make sculptures or draw pictures and sell little picture booklets.  Anything to keep my mind off of the meds and how they make me feel.

Wish I could phantasy like I used too, but with all that's happened and continues to happen, I don't see it manifesting anytime soon.

[Szaxx]

Hi,

You need to go back to go forward.
Thknk of a time when you were of light, this must be a good time. Meditate on becoming at this point in time so you can restart from it. Use deep theta binaurals on quite loud and denounce all that is dark. Feel the light energy thats around you and form a concentrated sphere of it  above your head. This will be brilliant white, so bright it outshines the sun then drop this totally inside all of you, you may feel it destroying the darkside hold on you, a feeling of great peace will remain. Do this as often as you can. It will work on you and the dark cannot fight it at all.
You can win this battle, all you need is will power and a starting point from before the darkside tricked you. Go back to that time, make a light sphere and destroy its hold on you. light up anything and the dark has gone.

[i smoke and drink coffee]

In my mind, light or dark has nothing to do with it.  Each serves a purpose and has it's own energy, it's more like the mind that is wielding the light force or dark force that makes the difference.  The way that it is used.

I've tried white light techniques before, seems to always end in ruin for me.  I'm naturally darkness based, so that's probably why.

I will try the same thing you said, to find that point in my memory where I was whole, which, I've already done.  Going back to that point, I remember being born in a supreme flesh, much larger than any human baby, and possessing a cosmic consciousness.  I think it happened in the Sun.  Going back to that moment, that's really the only time that I've been whole.  And I don't know which life or time stream it was.  Could have been a million years ago, it's the same to my memory.

Actually, I don't think that such a point of memory like that exists in me.  Quite sad.  Apart from being born as a Solar Phallic Being or some such, it doesn't really jive with me, but! I'll search for it.  There is one other memory that seems to be like a  clear blue sky, a perfect calm, blank astral space.  From that, the rest of my life was created, seemingly by God's Hand. 

Thanks for the tip.

[Lionheart]

 The last couple of days I received a true lesson in how medicine can mess up Phasing. I have had Bronchial Pneumonia for about a week now. I was given a pill named Levaquin to take to get rid of the bacterial infection. Day 1 of the pill was fine, the next day I wake up at 6:30 am with a choking sensation. It seems one of the side effects from this pill is that it tightens your throat, nice to know this now. So that day I try to Phase, throat still tightening, then all of a sudden I get a twitch in my temple, try to ignore it, now it's a full grown spasm. Needless to say, end of Phase attempt there, the next day I try again and all of a sudden my nervous system goes on overload. An entire body spasm that got scary.
I go to the Internet and google search this Levaquin and find out it is a serious side effect pill. Tons of people reported throat tightening, nerve problems even tendons being torn off muscles. Why the hell would they even have something like this on the market? I still have the effects today two days after I stopped using it. I called the doctor on Monday to describe my experiences, they asked if I needed to go in to emergency care. I told them I meditate and understand that all these symptoms are occuring due to their pill and that I can handle these last side effects. It got tough at times I will tell you that, thankfully meditation and knowing how to calm myself prevailed. I started taking the pill on Friday, my doctor's office wasn't opened on Sunday. So I fought the extreme reactions I was having due to this "poison" I was given. Today I am back on good ole Amoxocyllin. This is my 3rd bout with Bronchial Pneumonia now. But every year I get a Bronchial Infection, so I am used to Amoxocyllin clearing it. They said that Levaquin is stronger and works faster, but I didn't know it was going to be such a serious threat. I probably have to lay off Phasing for a couple more days, the temple twitch is almost constant now. Irritating as hell.    
Anyways, life goes on!

[i smoke and drink coffee]

I don't trust medicine at all.  Having a joint and sitting back for a few minutes, that solves a lot of my problems.  The stuff they are giving me is worse than cigarettes or crack cocaine.  No health benefits at all!

Sorry to hear about your broncial infection.  I don't focus illnesses or things like that, when I do have a cut and it gets reddish, I just let it heal.  The more you pamper an illness, the more chance it has of festering.  Then again, this entire reality is made of light, the more light or less light you are composed of, either way, it really doesn't matter.  I'm learning that in order for something to happen to you, you have to be conscious of it happening.  And there are ways of phasing out so that you can reset or recalibrate your entire reality.

I've heard on good word that many people do not have souls.  In some Christendom, they are taught that you 'are a soul'.  And then!  They have the nerve to take away all your personal power and proclaim a flesh being as god, then say that only this being can heal you.  The medicine they give me keeps my mind paralyzed, however, in certain respects, if I wanted too, I could get very high on anything, even just breathing air.

If you have or are a soul, guard your spirit.  That's common knowledge.

If you really want something to happen, or expect something to happen with wanton want, then it probably will happen.  I've been living in a fear based reality, mind control, sexual exploitation, perversity and corruption, tonight, I finally got tired of it.  Now, I just want to enjoy my life, and return to the ways of power and life that I formerly knew.

Whatever my body is, it is quite likely that it is still composed of light.  I do believe now that all things are formed of the same energy.  I do not believe that we are all one consciousness.  Light is a precious thing.  And since light exists, existence must be holographic.  It's an illusion!  So I feel comfortable worshiping as I do and promoting religious phantasy.  One illusion or the other.  There is a reality beyond all this, and tonight, I'm thinking that reality is the astral.

It's hard to meditate when you are not feeling well.  Especially hard to meditate when you are having spasms, like you say.  In my life, I'm putting the past aside, trying to remember it is different.  A new man, a new existence, by golly, I think I'm going to go and transform my physical / illosory body into something more feminine.  It's all falling into picture perfect place.  I can hardly wait for my new life to begin.  The suffering is over!  Even if they are killing me with mind control dope, I already know, it's a choice I made and live with.  It can end in the blink of an eye.  All I have to do is choose differently. 

It's energy.  So basic, so perfect.  I'm seeing that there is no difference between spiritual and physical reality.  It's all the same.  We just choose to fixate our soul within the day to day beat.  If I wanted too, I could fly off on an astral voyage and never look back.  I don't want too.  I'm happy where I am.

All this stuff about demon flesh, yeah, well, it was a complicated spell spanning twenty years of life.  All of it, can end, if I make the choice.

[AJDIN]

Sounds good smoke, keep me posted on what happens!

[i smoke and drink coffee]

My court went well, I only got 12 months probation.  There was a bunch of lies that went around the court, whatever, I don't plan on staying here to worship humanity and it's destructive tendancies.

I'm sure that most people who astral project or go on cosmic /mental journey do not share in the sicknesses of most other men.  For instance, lying as though it were a frivolous thing.  Doesn't make much sense to me.  I don't even own a butcher knife for flip sake.  Where do they come up with this stuff?

Anyway, last night, I'll post it here, or rather, this morning, well... here is the story

I was in some convuluted dream state to begin with, and then, at some farm house.  The guys who owned the farm turned out to all be vampires, and they were trying to kill me.  I fought against them, burning their flesh, throwing broken glass, one of them had a mecha suit, I avoided it and took off running down the road.  the sun was in the sky, and I kept running towards the sun hoping to keep up to it and avoid the vampires.  But the sky suddenly went black and they got me.

So then, it was very complicated.  I was in some winter land, but the time line was out of place.  There was some guy riding a machine, it looked like a small pole with a circular ring on the bottom.  Colors, orange and white.  All these native people were there, and they seen this guy with his machine and took off running.  We escaped, and I sat by a fire, drinking some kind of hot beer.  Then, there was a disaster, and people were running all over the place trying to escape this guy again.  I ran and ran, and fell into a hole.  I woke up, I was in some massive alternate time line structure.  There was tons of canned foods and wooden laquered siding on all the walls of the cave.  I ran through here, and this big guy in armor came at me with a machine gun.  I used a stick to push the gun, it was a frozen time moment at that point.  Then I kicked him or something, and grabbed the gun, and bolted for the entrance.  There were trillions of stars in the sky when I got out of there, but they fizzeled suddenly as the time stream reoriented itself.  So I ran again, running away, I had the strong feeling that I was being chased and that they wanted to kill me.

I came to a highway, and there was a car coming.  I ran into a grid road that was attached to the main road, and I kept trying to find my way home.  The distinct thought was present, "This isn't the right time line, I must be in the future."  Anyway, this car caught up to me and I ran until I reached some railway tracks.  They caught up to me, so I turned, and unloaded the machine gun directly in this native guy's face.  Turns out, they were advanced super mortal invincible humans, evolved into a indestructible body.  He grabbed the gun, and shot me down, then he examined my boot.  Apparently, I was dressed like an Inuit person.  And the time stream continued, I woke up in bed, and started my day.

In all this, my astral body in this specific dream was something much different than my physical self.  I was older, more fit, and wearing eskimo clothes.  The problem that I have is that there is no center of mind, so today, after doing some exercise and having my last cigarette (i've quit now, as of today), I am doing massive banishing, all things banishing. 

I've heard that you absolutely have to master banishing.  If you can banish your own physical illusion, it's probably a way to access either the astral or, inversely, your own private magickal sanctum.  So I'm working on that, we'll see how it goes.

[light487]

I was reading through one of Robert Monroes books and he was saying that the longer he spent getting used to the astral, the less his form took on a human shape.. he stresses that you are still most definitely "you" but that after a while there becomes no need to have a mirror image of your body and that, he implies, it was only there to make you feel comfortable and be able to relate to what you were sensing/perceiving/experiencing.

So.. 'getting your astral body back' seems to be contrary to the natural evolution.. when you think about it, it makes more sense to be a cloud of mist or a ball of light/energy than it does to have an astral representation of your "physical" body... you're not in the physical realm of existance/awareness anymore, so why should you have a physical-looking body? Only reason is, as mentioned above, to give yourself a little assurance/security that you are still "you".

[AJDIN]

Smoke,

Maybe those dreams symbolize how you think everyone is against you and its manifesting into your dreams with people trying to kill you and what not

You read up on dream interpretation journals before?

[i smoke and drink coffee]

I have read some books about dreams before, but the symbolism was far gone to my reckoning.

I notice that when I go to sleep, and wake up, there are smokes missing, cats let in / out, and sometimes things are just not right with my pants.  Perhaps I should worry about my physical body? Maybe I've got walk ins or foreign spirits or the source of the schizo somehow controlling me when I go unconscious?  I've recently figured out that it is some kind of parasitic vampire.  Not necessarily my own creation.  I've tried banishing, setting up force fields, not only this, it could be related to a mind bond, not just a link, but a solid bond.  Vulcan kind of stuff.  A bond from a past life, it seems.

In my dream with the machine gun I was not 'Chad' I was more like an eskimo person.  I'll get my stuff together now that I'm off the dope.  I'm already getting emotions back.  I think a lot of it is self stimulation, the magnitude of the thought or emotion.  Being slightly deranged and psychotic, I find myself often feebly, with terrific weakness, trying to morph my physical body into something more female.  Apparently my sexual side has been corrupted, if not entirely perverted.

Wanting to have an experience also opens the door to realizations of opportunity for the experience to manifest.  My life is mostly smoking and a few internet sites, coffee, and visiting neighbors.  I don't even phantasy anymore.  Something keeps blocking me, and memory has become very difficult.  Not a short change, just a long wait. 

I figure that eventually, in my terms, you eventually become a phaentia.  An entire Universe.  Then, you go through the rigors of being a god, and eventually reincarnate into a human or whatever life you created, and ascend again.  So many potentials for transformation, yet the focus of the mind has to be strong, whole, and fixated fully on the object.  It's not just, one moment you are quasi cosmic, the next, you are an ultimate celestial.

I've put the diseased, pot smoking warlock into the background.  Been praying a lot, got some good old game tunes full steam, I dunno.  Meditate, pray, try to worship, seems to be the only answer.

[walleck]

Been way too long since I was into all that "stuff".. but couldn't you just generate a thoughtform body in whatever likeness you would prefer and then after projecting as a "cloud", you could slip into the body and take control of it? It's your thoughtform that you have created.. like a shell, empty and waiting for you to go inside and take control.