Financial/Sentimental/anything Stability!!! [:P][;)]
Oops, I'm not really a woman... [|)]
quote:
Originally posted by Nagual
Oops, I'm not really a woman... [|)]
No-no, if you feel like one, then please do not hesitate to answer the question[:P][:D]
I look for him to be over there, and me over here.It works best that way. [:)]
The lesser the better. The more separated the better...or...call it independent living.
If one would happen to interest me? Good question, I'd have to think on that one.
whisp im just wondering, dont take offense at this, but are you a lesbian?
[:O] Wow pyro, where did THAT come from?...[:P]
P.S. see ya got a new avatar [:D]
~Nay
[:I] yea sorry about that, it just popped into my mind.....
but yea do you like my new avatar? isnt it neat[:D], im still waiting on the other ones i sent in......
LMAO!!!!
hey hey hey smiley, lets keep the posts meaningfull, no more one word posts for you. lol, there is a topic about this somewhere......
He should be just...my soulmate[:)]
He should be mystic, tender, sad and vivid in the same time, melancolic, but with great sense of humour...the most special creature made to be with me...hmmm I don't see a point in being with anyone but him[:I]
Be safe all[:)]
Nicely said, Haematite! [:)] Soulmate is a good name for it. All or none, a good way to put it.
quote:
whisp im just wondering, dont take offense at this, but are you a lesbian?
pyro,
Oh my no. Oops, I didn't mean to make that impression.
If my attitude about men are similiar to a lesbian, then there is a sexuality aspect that divides us. I am heterosexual but find men a little overbearing sometimes,anger issues most likely. Too many better things to do than struggle with what is nonsense or power plays.Women do it too, I don't play that game either. I find women manipulate, whereas men get angry. I don't like either!
At the risk of sounding lesbian again, I do appreciate men that express, or at least recognize their female side. Not in the boohhoohoo way (though a good cry is good for anyone every once in a while).And not in the emotional wreck sense, but one who is sensitive toward where the other person is coming from. This very thing is something I have to work on myself. I have a tendency to not appreciate the sensitivity of others, mainly because it can, and is often used for manipulation of others. I guess that's part of the male aspect I express/recognize in myself.
Men are good at fixing things mechanical, I like that a lot. That doesn't mean I'm sexually attracted to them.However, it would be a great asset to have in a relationship. I can fix things myself to an extent, but I have other things to think about and do.A lot of times it seems men enjoy fixing things, it's a burden to me. And yes, there is a sense of accomplishment, but I get so tired of life's lessons sometimes.I just want to take the easy way sometimes. :)
ahh i see. sorry about that. i have a few friends like that, they are not homosexual, but they dont want any type of relationship at all.
(i personally think that they have just not discovered girls yet. but oh well)
[:D]
quote:
Originally posted by wisp
At the risk of sounding lesbian again, I do appreciate men that express, or at least recognize their female side. Not in the boohhoohoo way (though a good cry is good for anyone every once in a while).And not in the emotional wreck sense, but one who is sensitive toward where the other person is coming from....
A lot of women do, I believe.
Being an empath from birth, I've had to learn to deal with emotions and sensitivity to them. At the risk of having become somewhat effeminate, I learned to use my female side - especially intuition, which I would not be without.
As a result of this though, I generally don't relate well to other guys, except, funnily enough, gays. All of those kind of things typically associated with overly testosteroned males just leave me shaking my head.
Having said that, I do have an active libido, and I am most definitely hetero.
James.
Asking women what they want in a man isn't going to get you anywhere I assure you.
Women tend to think they want one thing when they act on the total opposite.
The bottom line is woman have no idea what they really want just as men have no idea what they really want in a woman.
Anyone who thinks they know will find out sooner or later how wrong they are when they get it and find they don't like it.
Very well said, Lunatic.
Reminds me of the Ladder Theory, on the page with the pie graphs (for those who have read The Ladder Theory). 5% of what women look for in a man are those things that they say they look for in a man but truth be said nobody ever really knows what they want from the opposite sex, so that 5% gets aptly named as "Things women say they care about but don't."
Anyways, I'm still confused over the whole love thing. Chances are it's just a front for what's really going on - two people who get really horny from letting off too many pharamones, and then ending up with kids to keep the human race surviving.
My two cents...
~FT
quote:
If my attitude about men are similiar to a lesbian, then there is a sexuality aspect that divides us. I am heterosexual but find men a little overbearing sometimes,anger issues most likely. Too many better things to do than struggle with what is nonsense or power plays.Women do it too, I don't play that game either. I find women manipulate, whereas men get angry. I don't like either!
At the risk of sounding lesbian again, I do appreciate men that express, or at least recognize their female side. Not in the boohhoohoo way (though a good cry is good for anyone every once in a while).And not in the emotional wreck sense, but one who is sensitive toward where the other person is coming from. This very thing is something I have to work on myself. I have a tendency to not appreciate the sensitivity of others, mainly because it can, and is often used for manipulation of others. I guess that's part of the male aspect I express/recognize in myself.
Men are good at fixing things mechanical, I like that a lot. That doesn't mean I'm sexually attracted to them.However, it would be a great asset to have in a relationship. I can fix things myself to an extent, but I have other things to think about and do.A lot of times it seems men enjoy fixing things, it's a burden to me. And yes, there is a sense of accomplishment, but I get so tired of life's lessons sometimes.I just want to take the easy way sometimes. :)
So a kind man, who respects you just as much as you repect him will have no chance with you? Even when he is caring and loving and even tries to be your "soulmate"?
So, should a couple be complementory or alike to succeed...?
Gwathren - I read "Sinuhe" these days - great book...and "Turms" is also very good one[:)]
Well, for me I don't think that differences between males and females are so important - still gender is just a material shape...and that what we have in common is Soul. So I just search for a highspirited person and when I find him our souls will know and love eachothetr - no matter if he could fix the microwave or lift heavy objects[:D]
Still we all are unperfect creatures and it's important to love eachother inspite of our weaknesses - that's the true love: to know someone is damn unperfect but to love them so much anyway[:)]
Be safe
quote:
Originally posted by Haematite
Gwathren - I read "Sinuhe" these days - great book...and "Turms" is also very good one[:)]
Did the idea come from my signature?[:D]
I married my "bestfriend".We have been tog. for 22 yrs,sooooooo I would answer your question as what to look for.....hmmmmmm.....a friend.
Peace...
abs
quote:
Originally posted by Fat_Turkey
5% of what women look for in a man are those things that they say they look for in a man but truth be said nobody ever really knows what they want from the opposite sex, so that 5% gets aptly named as "Things women say they care about but don't."
loool! Funny theory but a truly one i think.
A found what womens need (and mans too). It´s all about sex and sex: if you have the pysical and mental traits that "sugests" that you have good genes(DNA) in order to create a versatile/competent (in a Darwinistic view) son, you will be choosen(chased) by womens (or man if you are a women, homossexual, etc).
This is the main point. Now, about the mental traits (pyysical ones are obvious:nice shape, nice but, some aesthetical muscles etc) ar that womens are looking for: self-confident, a decisive person, an intelligent guy, maybe a sensite and efeminate guy, sometimes(in order to protect the baby- Darwinistic point of view), an energetic and brave man, someone able to fight against many things capable to protect women and give then what they want.
Now here is the problem: it is almost impossible to have this same qualities, and why? Because some of then are opposite qualities: yhey wich a macho style but many times they prefer an efeminate guy. This have a natural (Darwinistic, whatever) explanation: womens wich to have an efeminate guy in order to protect/create the baby, but they wich too a macho guy because they have the best genes (DNA) to offer).
So, the ideal to women it would be, having to mans. In reality this is what happens: they have one type of man as being the boyfriend and they wich secretly, even for themselves, to have another guy (to complement the other one). It is not rare to womens, to look to other guys (even if they have byfrnd) or having phantasies with other man. Of courese they (womens) will argue that this is not correct because they not assume this even for thenselves.
For some similar reasons, men search for many womens too.
Scientifical Conclusion: Humans are poligamic beings.
BTW: i am a "$# bastard $%#$ f#$# (the symbols are bad words[}:)])that loves to say controversial things even if i dont believe on them [:D]....i just love seeing people saying things like "What t..."[;)]
quote:
loool! Funny theory but a truly one i think.
This is the main point. Now, about the mental traits (pyysical ones are obvious:nice shape, nice but, some aesthetical muscles etc) ar that womens are looking for: self-confident, a decisive person, an intelligent guy, maybe a sensite and efeminate guy, sometimes(in order to protect the baby- Darwinistic point of view), an energetic and brave man, someone able to fight against many things capable to protect women and give then what they want.
Now here is the problem: it is almost impossible to have this same qualities, and why? Because some of then are opposite qualities: yhey wich a macho style but many times they prefer an efeminate guy. This have a natural (Darwinistic, whatever) explanation: womens wich to have an efeminate guy in order to protect/create the baby, but they wich too a macho guy because they have the best genes (DNA) to offer).
Well I'd agree with some of that logic. I think it's alittle more than just DNA that determines peoples actions. I think it has a lot to do with social forces as well. I think that most people (men and women) don't even understand what controls their own actions in relation to sex and love.
I know by talking to a great deal of women than indeed there is a lot of contradictory thinking. For example I've head "I want someone strong but willing to share his feelings" After seeing many failed relationships and hearing both sides I've translated this to mean I want someone who is strong and never tell me anything negative that they are feeling and will only tell me the good feelings.
This is really confusing to men because women leave out the fact that they hate men who are honest when they aren't feeling well or are hurt by something.
The bottom line is that most women rely on their feelings and emotions to the point of insanity and any rationalization of what they want in men is totally inaccurate.
Of coarse if you're an butt it's so easy to control and manipulate women because of this fact. I guess it all boils down to what you want. Sex or love. Most guys just want sex and for those few of us who want love we mostly live lonely lives.
Hehe - that's a popular theory[:D]
You could call me romantic silly girl, but I do believe there's someone born to meet me... And I'm monogam - if I like 1 person I can't look at another...If I can't find my soulmate it's hard to be with anyone at all[:)]
Gwathren - lol it's a coincidence to see your quote about Sinuhe - I've been reading that book some time before I saw you... still this could be a sign - you know some answers appear "by chance" from books, people or whatever you could imagine[:)]
Be safe[8D]
you know i once heard about this guy who finally figured out women...................................
but unfortunatly for the rest of us men.... he died laughing before he could tell anyone.[:D]
Hi All,
This is an interesting topic, both light hearted and deep at the same time. Excellent.
I got to go with James S on the sensitive male not relating well with testicular-thinking menfolk. There is only so long I can talk about cars, women, football etc etc. So most of my conversations are with women who are awakening spiritually. It's a hands down winner for interesting and stimulating adult level conversation.
Over the last 20 years I have noticed a trend here in Australia and wonder if it is repeated in other countries. Women have steadily sought men who are strong, dependable and grounded in the older senses of that, and those men also need be sensitive, caring and understanding. This has confused a lot of men. So they see a choice there of a Manly-man versus s.n.a.g., and seemingly they cannot bridge the gap in a logical way.
Long overdue is a men's revolution. Not the gay, pay or equal rights deal though, but one that allows for men to grow and be accepted in their society while they do so. On the other hand, the women's movement has gained much that was needed for equality of the sexes, but, it has in many cases gone to an extreme. Balance is required in all things.
At the start of Matriarchal societies in ancient times, there was a positive aspect to it that eventually grew to a negative aspect. Which is when men took over and brought abuot the Patriarchal society we have now. It also started in a positive way and has preogressed to it's negative aspects. So many women think that it will next revert to a Matriarchal one again and eagerly look forward to the power of it.
What really needs to happen though, is that we decide to have a human society of equal people. No more would one sex dominate the other as it has in history because we would choose to do something different.
Man and Woman are two parts to the human picture on Earth, so that existence needs to be equality based in all aspects of our different natures.
Well, I've rambled on enough,
Love Always.[:)]
quote:
Originally posted by Tayesin
Hi All,
This is an interesting topic, both light hearted and deep at the same time. Excellent.
Thank you.[:D][:)]
Tayesin,
Yes, this is all very true. It's unfortunate that women's groups also have a tendency to take the same routes as special interest groups. Until then, things will remain out of balance and confusing to most.Groups are busy accusing and claiming to be victims, instead of building something independently.
What makes things even more confusing is the fact that people are not the same everywhere you go. Especially in maters of love. Around where I live there is a very unbalanced ratio of males to females and it's made for some very disturbing trends.
Women can be just as uncaring and unfaithful and do all the things you see men doing in popular media in relation to sex. Most of you would be completely shocked to hear women say the things I've heard them say let alone see all the insane behavior.
I can truly say that there are men and women who have no respect for anyone but themselves and treat their fellow people as toys to be broken and tossed aside.
And women can put their own special spin on it that makes it extra hurtful...
quote:
Originally posted by TheLunatic
What makes things even more confusing is the fact that people are not the same everywhere you go. Especially in maters of love. Around where I live there is a very unbalanced ratio of males to females and it's made for some very disturbing trends.
Women can be just as uncaring and unfaithful and do all the things you see men doing in popular media in relation to sex. Most of you would be completely shocked to hear women say the things I've heard them say let alone see all the insane behavior.
I can truly say that there are men and women who have no respect for anyone but themselves and treat their fellow people as toys to be broken and tossed aside.
And women can put their own special spin on it that makes it extra hurtful...
You are completely right. Don't think that only men are able to act like idiots. Women are just as much capable in doing it as men are. Men have their special way to make things worse, but women have it too, and both can be equally hurtful.
Yes, great post Tayesin. [:)]
As far as the male revolution, I feel the same as other men here have said, that 'regular guy' type mentality just does not work. I think the reason for this is because the male stereotype of our society is a very narrow role, which too many men find themselves bound to, but are unable to transcend without seeming feminine, which they are not willing to do, as part of the stereotype. It is a catch 22 situation - damned if you do, and damned if you don't.
Many women are also caught in stereotypical roles, but IMO I think because of the current position of the pendulum in the sexual revolution and by virtue of the femole role stereotype itself women do find themselves somewhat better off than the men, but that is a generality so please don't burn me at the stake. [:)]
Well said kiaumu
What do I look for in a guy?
I get along well with the abstract thinking guys. You know the type that hang out in comic book stores and talk about star trek all day long LOL. But I'm more attracted to the cool headed logical guys. The man who takes his responsibilies and family seriously. If he knows how to pick up his socks and put them in the hamper, that's a bonus.
I think over the years, what I look for in a man has changed. When I was in college, I liked the tall dark and handsome, little bit obnoxious, athletic, funny type that would treat me like a piece of furniture.
Then I was into the smart, intellectual, challenge my thinking, personable and friendly type. One who could provide for me, give me children and sort of act like my "daddy." This is who I married.
Now, I am drawn to the guy who is not necessarily an overacheiver or who is not necessarily out there being the life of the party. One who is in touch with his spiritual nature and cherishes me for who I am without expectation that I might be someone different. Someonw who is true to himself and is not afraid to live or love. Someone who is introspective and can just shut up and feel what I'm trying to express. Someone who has many yin (female) qualities yet is very heterosexual. One who is secure enough in himself to allow me to explore my truth withour feeling I am stepping on his truth. One who honors himself and expects the same of others and who also honors me and my beliefs. Also, I need for them to touch the core of my being and turn me on... I like my men deep and penetrating... in every way.
In my younger years, I wasn't ready for the nice guy who would honor me... I needed to grow up... now I am.
Kerri
I have this really cool aunt,who once told me her theory:
All men are the same in a way, so find one that is smart, funny, good in bed and makes you feel secure.
I used to look for the deep thinking, sensitive, spiritual, highly intelectual types..but spending time with them made my nerves a wreck. So now, I'm looking for the very down to earth qualities like : responsibility, willingness to cooperate, knowing what they want from life....+ all the things from my aunt's list...oh and one more: respect...it's not much is it??
lol, I just remembered...my college proffesor had this 4 hour lecture about women in film ( analizing why, what for, how?)..and at the end he said:
"so remember...what do women want??
it's simple: they want EVERYTHING".
I agree that we can define what we want and then be totally surprised by what we actually need or are attracted to. I think that can be part of the magic of a really good relationship.
Some things I don't like in a man are being too clingy or manipulative. I hate guilt trips.
When a man helps me feel secure, confident and meaningful without being condescsending...well, I haven't found that man yet but it seems like it would be nice. [;)]
Shared interests are a good thing but having different interests can be intriguing too if he is passionate about them.
What I look for in a man.....My hubby of course!! [:D]
Almost nine years together and it still feels new. I find it amazing how we still love to talk and hang out together, and him being tall dark and handsome does not hurt...[;)]
Nay
quote:
Originally posted by Hannah b
"so remember...what do women want??
it's simple: they want EVERYTHING".
Figuring that part out is easy. Knowing when to give her what is the hard part. [B)]
i have a similar question: what do you search in first place in a men? The body?
My theorie is that, womens look into the body (i mean: external beauty) first and then they will check up the interior:
-if it is good (all the qualities that you have refered) it will be a good marriage, boyfriend, whatever
_if not, it will be a good toy for some nights. If good enough (the body), you will even treason you husband, or boyfriend. At least if you do not control your emotions. I say this becaus ebasically we are animals before being persons.
Why womens are always hiding saying things like: "Oh, interior beauty it is the most important thing!", etc. Tha´t fake, because if true, every women in the world would be in love for Dalai Lama (i love this guy!...but in a different manner [;)]) and men would be in love for Madre Theresa (may her soul rest in peace).
How much importance do you give to the body, to sex, and to the other qualities?
Please, be honest!
Not all women are like that Kazbadan. I can honestly and proudly say that I have to like the inside of a person first, they can be totally hot, but if their personality is ucky..they can hit the road. Sure there is physical attraction but I don't turn around and not talk to someone because they may not be what people would call attractive. (when I was single of course)
When I met my hubby, I was not attracted to him physically at all, infact I turned him down for a dance..[:P] I just needed to get to know him first and the more we talked that is when the attraction started. I still say his ears are huge..LOL..but I love him with all of my being. [:D]
For the life of me I can't figure out why he even noticed me...it was a hard time in my life, I was in a very abusive marriage and had no self esteem, wore glasses, and thirty pounds over weight..I felt ugly, but he saw something in me, thank god!!!
What you are accusing women of doing, men can do as well....I would go so far as to say, that men are much more visual creatures then women and need something pretty to look at. Lets face it, women love to cuddle and talk..men love to..ummmmm...ummmmmmm..yeah..that's it.
Why do I have a feeling I'm going to be told to go to my room?? LOL
Nay
it may sound cheesy,
but reading the series "Men are from Mars and women are from Venus" made everythig clear to me...Ofcourse we women dream of a man who reads our mind, but it's impossible (unless you both master astral travel;))...so we have to be realistic and start talking. My good friend does this trick on her husband all the time, and boy it pays off!!!
"Tom, I like flowers...Tom, i like it when you give me flowers, I really like flowers, I would be very happy if you brought flowers for me from time to time, ahhh...those flowers are so beautiful...I'd love it if you could buy me ones oneday...Tom...I really love flowers....
guess what ? Tom buys her flowers! Ta - da!!!..but that's because my friend is a smart woman, and he's a cooperative...
one more thing..(from the book)...ask us questions...and let us blab...asking us "how was your day", makes us feel cared for and loved...(even if you really don't...auch!!!i just sold you a really nasty trick!!!!)..
Sorry if any women have a different opinion...this is only mine...
As for looks I have a theory.
How many men do you know that are with an ugly but smart woman???hmmm...(2 out of a 100)
Now how many women do you know that are with ugly but smart men???( 70 out of a hundred)...
I may be a specific example, because my country is known for very beautiful women, and ugly men...but there is a point.
Nothing in the world is worse than a stupid man..To me the brain is the biggest turn on.....I know many men who pretend to be smart simply by not talking much..(och!!that's so mysterious!!!)...you won't believe how many women die for them!!!!
I had this ugly boyfriend that fas so fun i couldn't resist him...his joke was the first thing I noticed! And amillion times I was dazzed in somebody...but then a horrible thing would happen...He'd open his mouth...................lol
As for looks, ofcourse..the normal...eyes, hands....less normal...the nose...;))
Also nothing beats a good sence of humour, because it means that you're cool about life and yourself, which to me is a huge plus....
ugh...one more, overgroomed men are discusting...If I sence or rather see;))that he spends more time in the bathroom than I it's a killer.( I'm not a hippy;))
SO a huge YES! to interior!!!
ps I'd be with Dalai Lama if it would be possible ,in a blink of an eye!!!!!
So, you (women) say that prefer a ugly but nice man to a an Apolo like man with no brains. That means that if you have an ugly boyfriend you will be looking to other well looked guys all the time, only to compensate that little "accident" (the ugly look)?
What about my female friends? They are nice and intelegent, but for some occasions i catch (without pretending or sneaking around...just as a coincidence) her conversations without being noticed. Before they see me i have catch what they really think about mens.
They stay dazed for nice bodys, perfect guys and beautiful mens, even if they dont have nothing. They speak in a manner that seems that they could commit treason to their boyfriends, just to have a...uuummmmm(you know) for nigth with them, and after that return to their normal lifes. It´s incredible what you discover when nobody sees you!
LOl I just noticed that you are from Portugal!!
NO WONDER your girl friends stay dazed! Portugal is heaven for women;))
why can't you be closer to Poland...ughhh...
but seriously...I guess that it's also a matter of age ,having brains yourself, and knowing what you want from life. Everybody likes beauty, i also have married friends that drool over Apollos, but quickly run back to their hubby chubby husbands...but people are people, and we are partially animals..(or actually we are animals)...and it's all chemistry and hormones.
I can only speak for myself.
All there needs to be said is women don't know what they want, and they never will [:)]. So...to get the catch (as I assume this topic is to help pick-up women) the guy has to be unique and offer something new to the woman. Piece of cake. Women aren't that hard after all [^]
~ivan
*smacks Ivan* what a terrible thing to say!! [:D] You are such a stud muffin..[:P]
I think Hannah said it well.. I knew I wasn't explaining myself right..lol.
It doesn't matter one way or the other.. they can look good or not, it only matters how they make you feel inside, how you connect with that person. [:D]
Nay
The most common thing that attracts people together regardless of their respective genders seems to be looks and societal stature.
But the thing that keeps them together always seems to be the spirit behind the physical and societal appearance.
The challenge is to see behind appearances be they gender, looks, wealth or intelligence. What makes you feel at home, comfortable and safe is what counts. But how many, in our fastfastfastfast-nownownow world, will take the time to discover that or to find apartner who matches that?
Ah well, my reply to what I'm looking for in a guy... I have no idea apart from the qualities I stated above. And so far I've proven to be hetero. It ain't the body but the person that should count.
I suppose JameS will agree that at time sbeing an empath things can get a bit strange and unorthodox [8D]
hah just before submitting the post: It's not the bodywork of the car but the engine that makes it go.
2cents & L&L
Jouni
I use to have a list of things I wanted in a male, you know, goodlooking, wealthy, intelligent. Now I see them as bonuses because in my life experience, I have had crushes on incredibly overweight, ugly, uneducated and poor men, and several jerks inbetween.
Now the only list I have is that they have to be kind, happy, wise, honest, trustworthy, dependable and in love with me 100%. A love of cleanliness and fishing/nature would be a big bonus. [;)]
I would like to have the experience of waking up next to someone who I know will be waking up next to me for the rest of my life. I don't have to guess if they will be there. I want to know that when I am sick they will take care of things and me. When I am scared they will be holding my hand and telling me that they know it will be okay. I also want to have someone where when things go wrong in their life they will let me in so I can take care of them.
Whenever I imagine what it would be like, I see myself sitting next to my partner enjoying a campfire, or in our backyard, or sailing. Its all simple images but they mean a lot to me. Its how I would like to spend the rest of my life, gently, quietly, harmoniously and in love.
Now I just got to find the little rascal! [:P]
The trend I'm seeing here is that the women are saying it's what inside that counts and the men are saying that they think women see what's on the outside...
I have my own theories about why this dynamic is ocurring so, please humor me...
here's my question guys...
What attracts you in a woman? [:X]
Kerri
LOL..I swear if I see the words big boobs I will fall down laughing, then pop up saying...I KNEW IT...[:D] [:P]
Sorry, I'm in one of those moods tonight. [:I]
Nay
What originally attracts me (besides, naturally, the basic physical attraction) is humour, wit and a bit of mischeviousness. Self confidence but not arrogance. Make me laugh... WITH you not AT you. I like someone that's a little bit of a rebel. Artistic and creative helps. I don't think I've dated anyone that wasn't either an artist, musician or poet on some level. I love well-spoken men. Intelligence is a MUST. The prettiest man in the world could come up to me but if he opens his mouth and says "My name are Brutus" then chances are I will be completely uninterested (unless I were really drunk and horny in which case he might have gotten a one hour stand before I was married).
To make me stick around, though, there does need to be other qualities present. I like a man with a spine and that's not afraid to voice his own opinion. I will probably not agree with everything he has to say but I will respect that he voices what he's thinking. Respect is important for me from both sides. I have to respect the man I'm with and he has to respect me.
SOME stability is necessary. I don't mean rich by any means. But I wouldn't want to date someone homeless or someone that couldn't keep a job for more than a couple months. I don't want someone boring and straightlaced but completely irresponsible is out of the question.
Hanna b: so you like portuguese guys ah..?![8D] You must visit Portugal some day (not only for the guys!)!
About what men search in a women: big boobs [;)]..lol, this one was dedicated to Nay, just kiding with you.
Seriously, i must admite that there must exist at least a normal body, i am not asking for any deity, but it must be normal (really, do you think that men would be dazed for an old women just because she is very nice?). More on the body: for many times i get in love form womens that at the begining caused me little or none atraction, but latter i found that they were amazing (psycologicaly talking) thus making me become in love with then.
To be honest, i dont kmow what you men search in a women. I think i love nice womens, that are funny (at least a little) and open minded. She must be honest and simple. By simple i am talking on their manners: nothing of heavy cosmetics and strange cloths.
If you are asking this (what womens search in a womens) because you want to know more about how to catch a nice guy i must give some more advices:
-dont be to easy to catch. Mens love easy womens for sex but for dating they prefer womens that are a little hard to conquer.
Pretend that you are not interested at all, but sometimes act in the opposite way (just some times! in the begining). This will send miexed and confusing messages that will KO the guy. Act like if you are a little cold, but in rare ocasions, touch him in the arm or the hand,look at him into the eyes with care, and then leave it and continue to act as a "cold" (cold=fatal women, not frozen women). This is bombastic!
-second advce: don´t abuse from the last advice: if you make your self too hard, he will jumpt into other girl or if is in love with you, he will suffer a little.
-be simple (do not exagerate in parfums, just give a "hint" (maybe just a little more than that)
-the eyes: i love beautifull eyes or when someone that i like trys to hipnothyse me with the eyes!
-about the clothes: simple clothes, that are a little opened are very good. Sugest but do not show completly, examples: in the chest just give a "hint". If you want use skirt, but not too short (neither too long) combined with open shoes (this is not fetish, but a women with boots or normal shoes are much less sensual that the ones using high heels or opened shoes....ask to other mens).
-On the attitude: you must learn to be funny, but not like a comedian. Just avoid to with your lips allways closed without even a smyle on it! In conversations dont be too exagerated in details! Men dont like that (some details i like but not to much, as typical in the womens).
-Even with this advices, just remember to be yourself. Conclusion: act in a simple (but intelegent) manner, with an open heart (that does not mean "easy to catch") that shows a nice and funnt person.
I hope i am being useful for womens, since someone here asked somthing related with this!
Now it´s your time[;)]: how do we must to act?!
SO, i hope that i am being useful!
Kazbadan,
i spend one of my best summers in Portugal, but you're right, I should visit it not only for the guys oneday;))
Thanks for the tips, ugh it's so difficult to play it cool sometimes..
When I'm about to burst I repeat" play it cool and scream later".Sometimes it helps...
How do you must act?
Show us you care, so that we can play our part and pretend we don't care.lol
also as for me...be a gentelman, be brave and for God's sake be yourself!;))
all the best
I think attraction comes with this certain paly between a man and a woman. This game is everything. Man somehow has to create the tension between himself and the woman. I think the two people should entertain each other. Like dancing - the man leads, but if the woman does nothing... it would be quite boring, wouldn't it?
I think you misunderstand...
The women are divulging to you men what they look for in a guy... They are not giving an instruction manual about how to do the dance.
So again;
What qualities in a woman attracts you?
Kerri
Chemistry is important. I think that includes and goes quite beyond physical appearances.
I look for a woman that is independant, but also believes in commitment. I look for a woman with the wisdom and self confidence to know when to give space, and when to make a stand. I look for a woman that has determination and strength, but is also open and spontaneous. I look for a woman who is interested both in sharing her life with me, and me sharing mine with her. I look for a woman with a sense of humor, a sense of magic, and a sense of adventure.
In short, I look for positive connection - a friend and a lover.
Oh, Kiauma, where have you been all my life! He, he, he...[;)]
I am exactly what you have been looking for.
Drop me a line big boy! Mumma's coming home![:P]
[:X]
Bet I scared you then! He, he, he...[:D][;)] Be afraid, very afraid...
*nudges atalanta aside*
Noooo..I'm the one your looking for! Oh, wait....I'm married, *grabs atalanta and pulls her back in place*
Ya'll would make a cute couple..[:D]
Nay [:P]
I'm not ashamed to admit that the first thing that grabs my attention is physical beauty. I won't go into great detail as to exactly what physical features attract my attention the most, or first, but to give an example, I would consider Liv Tyler, closely followed by Kate Beckinsale (esp as the vampire Selene from Underworld)to be two really gorgeous women!
The thing is, for me, physical beauty is very much dependent upon inner beauty. Exterior appearance alone doesn't cut it. Someone who shows their inner beauty need not have what today's society might consider the perfect physical appearance to be attractive. A woman who has a caring, loving, happy, open and 'genuine' soul will always be more attractive to me than an "air-brushed", silicon enhanced glamour queen.
Regards,
James
I like women that i can be good friends... I mean i shouldnt be acting like i am trying to impress her, nor should she. We must be pure ourselves and if that way we can feel love than we can be a good couple i believe...
But you never know how it happens when you fall for someone.
There is no logic in men - women relationships... It just happens...
So let it be.
.
.
Nay, ever seen fatal attraction?!!![:(!][xx(]
I am glad you realised in time that Kiauma is mine! [:D]
Really, I am a very nice, quiet, gentle sort of gal.
Sorry, Kiauma, just got a look at Birm. I hear Nay is looking for romance though.
Ah, Birm, I don't mind toy boys, lets hope you don't! [;)]
I know, I know, women are so fickle, and in my case, I am really bored as well tonight. [:o)]
A soul never gets older...
But...
Well...
I am too young for you i believe...
I mean...
Well...
Oh ok! Let's go fishing then... [;)]
.
.
Anything can attract me to someone at first. Everyone is different and unique so I look for the person's unique beauty. I would hate to miss out on knowing someone great because I had a list of certain things. She might present something I never thought of before.
If she wants to stick around she has to stimulate my heart, body, and soul. I want it all! [:)]
I have met someone with great potential. [:)] We will have to see where it goes. Too bad she lives so far away. [:(]
LOL! Y'all are busy!
I'm married too. :)
So Birm you don't mind fishing with an ancient Greek? [;)] I love fishing and know a few good spots around Sydney.
Kiauma, let me know if you two ever split up. [:P] [;)]
I like being a fisher of men...he,he,he,...I still remember my bible quotes, but I don't think JC meant it my way. [;)]
I'll keep you posted atalanta. [:P] I don't fish, but I love camping. [:)]
...and you never know what J.C. did all that time out in the desert with all those guys... [;)][:D]
quote:
So Birm you don't mind fishing with an ancient Greek?
No I dont mind. I like greek gals. I also had a few relations with them... If you don't mind fishing with an actual Turk... I am on it. :)
P.S. Maybe I will have to ask my mother about this first. :)
Lightouse, about what i search in a women, i refered that among in the "tips" that i gave you. I search for a sympathique and nice women, that is funny (i mean: that is always kiding and "playing" with you, and that is always in a great mood). I want a women that is honest with whom i can share my (and her) ideas, feelings,etc. And for last(not the last option, i say "last" becuase it is the last option in this list) i want someone that it is very sweet and warm.
Kazbadan,
Sorry... I just can't stand the "Rules" mentality. I am "Brutally Honest" as my father likes to put it and don't play games with people's emotions. I also have no tolerance for people who do... If they start playing games with me... I'm through with them. Those tips are one way of approaching a relationship (and widely accepted [V])... They are not the only way and everyone is different. In fact, my father would agree with you, he always used to say that I wore my heart on my sleeve and that I was too open, that guys didn't like the way I approached the "dating scene." If I listened to my father and played those games that you were describing, I never would have married my husband because he doesn't play games either. That goes against my nature... That's all. It seems very dishonest to me. If someone I'm attracted to needs that type of behavior in order to remain interested in me, then to me, there's something dysfunctional in that and I'd rather look elsewhere. (although it seems to be the norm... I still don't believe that makes it right)
You said,
quote:
I want a women that is honest with whom i can share my (and her) ideas, feelings,etc.
This seems to contradict your prior statements and I'd ask you to rethink what you're really saying... you seem to contradict yourself somewhat. [:O]
By the way, I am married and am blessed to have several close male friends who share my point of view on this...[:D] I just think that these "tips" may work for you, however, each person needs to live according to the dictates of their own heart... not someone else's dictates. When you start laying down rules, it makes people think that their way of approaching things may be the wrong way. EAch person needs to forge their own way.
I don't mean to sound like I'm bashing on you and I'm sorry if it comes across that way. I just wanted to know what qualities the guys here look for. It seemed to me that people were skirting the issue and you are not the only one who gave tips either... [:)]
Best wishes,
Kerri
I don't think the so called dating tips are anything more than an attempt at perpetuating the myth of a relationship (and love god forbid) of being a game.
One should approach each person as an individual, not as a case to which some formula and set of rules should be applied.
Sincerity as a person is the most potent aphrodisiac there is, provided one isn't expecting it to work on someone who is completely at odds with one's beliefs and life.
2cents & L&L
Jouni
Well Stated Jouni.
K
By the way Jouni,
What attracts you to a woman?
K
To be brutally honest I have no idea. I get asked this question, especially byu relatives who think it's high time I got married and started breeding. I have no clue about answering then since they wouldn't get the answers given.
But here's how it is for me. I look for talent, intelligence, sense of huo´mour and beauty. And it wouldn't hurt if she was nice to look at either.
In my experience these go along and are an expression of a person being in tune with his (or as the case may be her) true self. The nice to look at bit is just ordinary guy horniness [;)]
And even that reply isn't really the truth since each person is, well, a person. So stating some specific wualifications is to risk missing the one person that would be perfect except the fact that she can't play "Jingle Bells" on a tuba.
2cents & L&L
Jouni
Jouni,
you're describing me!!! [;)][:O][;)]
Kerri
No,no,no...english + my paradozal mind is blowing up everything! You are not getting my point. Playing games is an expression in english that means something different from what i want to mean: i want to mean someone that is always kiding with you in many ways. Now i am getting to understand that it will be hard to explain this part due to my english. I want to mean someone that kids with you as a child with do it: poking, tickling, kissing, laughing...i dont know, i would like to give you the exact message.
About the aparent contradiction. To be honest i dont even see any aparent contradition even more a "normal" contradiction. You can kid withyour hubbie and still being an ear to him and friend voice. When younger i had some rare good friends (male friends. BTW i am not gay and i say this for you understand better my point of view).
With them i used to play games (not in the flirt way of course): fighting, running, saying jokes, whatever. Besides that we could say one to each other our secrets ("I am in love for !#$%%", etc). Are you getting my idea. Maybe i should have said that what i want in a women is someone with a childish soul (no,no, not pedo!!! I am talking in the kiding spirit!) like a spirit of fire (what words should i use?). But that same spirit is my best friend. It will listen to me and i will listen to him (him: spirit, not him as a male).
Honestly i dont know how to make a better description. My english is not a fluid as my mother tongue. I feel a great barrier that stops me from expel my thoughts to you. Just a wall stopping the river of my mind.It´s for this reason that i wich for so much that telepathy were real.
More on my ideas: i disagree at some point with jilola. When younger i was honest (as i still being) but ugly. I was nice and sympathique and inteligent with some degree of culture. My percentage of sucess with womens: 0%. No, maybe less: -10% because there were girls that would ride of my way just because of my "beauty" (for some times i saw people joking on me because of my beauty; for 2 times, i had girls, that i never saw before, saying directly in my face that i am horrible).
Now i play harder with them, being self-confident and acting a little bit in a Bond style (playing games). My outlook is better (i must admit that i look like a normal guy now). My percentage of sucess it´s bigger.
Theorys are just theories. You can speak in obes, TK, etc,etc, but that are just theories. They are real you say, so proof it. With love is the same. You speak on honesty, but with me that never worked before. Now i am not honest (not in the way that you think:i mean playing games, etc, etc...) and i look better. Why do i have better sucess?
Dont say that the womens that i met are bad, that they only have sand in their brains and hearts. Thats not true. They are amazing girls. With that amazing girls (amazing psychological, i am not refering to their look) and with other womens (shy gorls, "silicone" girls, fatal womens, grounded womens, whatever) i have more sucess.
Why is that?
Very simple: humans are animals and, altougth the can argue higher reasons, basically they will search the better companion for a good DNA replication (translation: have healthy sons). The characteristiques that shows such companion are: good body, humor, self-confident, etc,etc.
Now that i am thinking, i see that many womens speak in things like "No, body is just secondary, blabla" or "I love when a guy is showing is feeling to me,lalalla" are lying. They say one thing but live other thing. That girls (my friends, collegues, etc) have brtual guys with beautiful bodys. I am not complaying, i am just trying to say that all resumes to a little more complex Darwinistic view. You can join some other factors like having a nice smile, being honest,etc, but the essence is the same.
Do you want more? Humans have very hypocrisy: when Lady Di died ( i admit that she was good hearted women) thousand of people all over the world cried for her. TVs showed her death as an horrible incident (every death it is). It was a very bad thing. BTW: she was good hearted but she was a princess, and beatiful. Translation: she had the requisites (money for sustent, beauty for genes) for being a good generator of genes.
Now here is the hypocrisy: mother theresa was a great hearted people, that gave her life in order to help other beings and souls. What she made for the poor it´s epic. Three (?) days after Ladi Di death, when Mother Theresa died, in the news i jut saw as brief note of her death. People in the coffes would speak only in Di, not in M.Theresa. Why? Because one of them is beautiful (in body), the other one it is not...
Maybe we can argue that the world is corrupt, or we can say that our genes rules our emotions at first. Only a few, as Mother Theresa, Jesus, Dalai Lama, etc were able o surpass our animal condition. We can make the same, but the path for that is very rough and hard. We are being weak.
The true love is the one that we have with no conditions, for every single being in the universe. True love is not he same love that a man and a women feel fo each other. It is something far much more away than that.
Sorry for the long post, but i couldn´t stopo my stream of ideas.
No worries, Kaz. Your meaning of game got through [:D]
If playing the game gets you laid then al is well provided getting laid is the goal.
The point of view from which I'm speaking from is that love is all that there is, that it is all pervading, eternal and the only true feeling there is. If you feel love formsomeone it shouldn't matter if you get laid or not, if you gets hugs&kisses or even if the other person ever knows you even exist.
But from the usual point of view playing the relationship game normative to our societies works better than not playing it. It all depends on what one is looking for and how one sees love.
2cents & L&L
Jouni
PS: You're english is amazing. Better than that if some of the natives [8D]
Kazbadan,
I think what you are referring to is not 'playing games' but 'teasing'. People do tease each other in a playful sexual way in order to highten the sexual experience. In that regard also I think you are right that you will get more women if you act like someone who is confident, successful, etc. I don't think it has to do with passing on genes, but more to do with not wanting to be around a whining, negative, troubled and troublesome person. Life is hard enough. What you said about Di and Mother Theresa is true but I don't think you can compare like that. If I had the chance while they were alive, I would have liked to spend time with both of them. With Di because I would like to understand her and her experience of her worldly riches, etc, and Mother Theresa for her spiritual riches. Each woman offered something very different so you can't compare.
I am going to say something to you but I want to say first that I am saying it out of spiritual sisterly concern. I don't want to hurt you but more to make you aware in the hope that you will understand yourself better. I have an interest in psychoanalysis, so I will give you my impression of what I hear you saying. It doesn't mean it is right and of course you can reject it.
Here's the thing, you talk about yourself as someone who was unattractive and not confident and that now you fixed yourself up and 'act' bolder, more confident, etc and you are more successful with women. You see, to me, you come across as someone who is still not confident and lamenting that. I have been reading your posts in this and in a similar type of thread before and you have always come across in the same way to me, as lacking confidence and self love.
Your statements have this underlying message of, I am not handsome, I am not happy, I am not sure of myself, I am not lovable, the proof being that I don't get attention from women. Therefore, I have to put on a big act, like a peacock, in hope that I will confuse women with my act and they will be attracted to me. When they are you have confirmation of two things, 1. That you are indeed a horrible person who is not lovable unless you act like Bond, and 2. that women are these creatures that you must control or be destroyed by (ie, that your sense of ego will be destroyed). In this scenario, women are weak and foolish if they are attracted to you because they can't see how you are tricking them. If they aren't interested, then they are these horrible creatures that are worthy of your spite because they can't recognise your real inner self. Either way, you lose and women lose.
You will of course confuse women and you will get more women in bed but you will never be fulfilled with this scenario because you will never be your true self and you will always feel hate for yourself and these women. The only way out of this paradox is to risk having no partners by being your true self until somone who truly sees you comes along or accept that you will live an empty emotional/interpersonal life but will get layed a lot more. I hope you will choose the first but human nature being what it is, I think you will most likely choose the second, because you have found something that works for you even if it is not a self-actualising, normal or right way of thinking. Prove me wrong, choose the first option.
You are not alone in this, we all experience a measure of these insecurities, myself included.
What is the problem with games? They are just part of natural evolution. The most part of mamals play that games, they are just part of their life. Even if say that not, with humans same thing happens, at low or high degrees.
When younger, i used that teasing in a incounscious way. Now i use it counscious. What´s the difference? I still being myself and acting like normal but sometimes, hen in the presence of someone that interests me, i will "throw" some tease. Just some "hints" like sugar in a couple of tea, enough to make it taste better.
About what you refered related with me, you are correct. Now i am starting to be a more self-confident person, all based on my efforts without the help of nobody (i should say more: some people instead of helping or making nothing would rather prefer try to destroy my self-confident...many times), but when younger, due to many aspects of my stupid life i was completly dumb, and with great lack of self-confidence. I was pretty much more insecure than now.
For this reasons i like to help insecure and shy people, particulary the ones that are poked by others (because they have any handicap, mentaly or physically). I know how it´s being on that side (not that i am in a particular side).
About what you said on the fact that i must like i am, without teasing, i disagree. I know for my self-experience (years of trying without sucess) that girls will be flying aways from me if i start to be the shy and quiet guy that i am. I prefer to be more "agressive". At least, in few weeks, that change as give me more sucess. I am sure if i will offend you, but what you say it´s only things that happens in romantic movies.
Life is far more agressive than that. We live in a world made of blood, iron and tears, not in an astral heaven.
I am starting to understand that, in respect to womens, the next expression aplys perfectly: "Better reign in Hell than live in heaven", if you know what i mean.
BTW. thanks anyway with your concerns about me. Really, but dont worry because i have surpassed that many poblems that you speak of. If you sense any insecurity on me, or lack of self-confident, that is because i am refering to my past, not the present days. thanks
Kaz,
I see the same thing as Atalanta. She is right... we all suffer from this in one form or another. The solution is to dig deep and find the source of your insecurities. "Nobody can make you feel inferior without your consent."--Eleanor Roosevelt. This is very true. I too saw myself as an "Ugly Duckling" and through accepting myself completely, now I see myself as a feminine, sexy woman... and men respond accordingly. No games, no aloof tricks, I am who I am, but in being who I am, I accept myself completely (well... almost [;)].) It is because of the way I view myself that I am well loved by many men... Not sexually in all cases, but well loved just the same... and I LOVE men ... they pick up on that too, I don't see men as toys or someone to tease, I just love men... Period.
Every thought we have is sent out into the universe and the universe brings us the experiences of our thoughts... so that we can see what we are thinking. Our minds are our most powerful tools which is why we must take charge of our thoughts. If you see yourself as a suave, debonaire James Bond, then that's what you will portray to the outside. Women will respond accordingly but is that the image you really want to portray? I see the character, James bond as an arrogant, aloof womanizer. If you see yourself as completely lovable, down to the depths of your soul and portray that to the outside world, that will be the expreience you draw. You will draw women who will love you and who will touch the depths of your soul.
I don't mean to toot my own horn (well... maybe a little [;)]) but about 6 years ago, I went through a wonderful growth spurt spiritually where I recognized my divinity and started fully accepting myself. Immediately following the experience, I felt guided to document it and created a workshop based on the experience. The workshop I wrote is free and it is out on the internet. Please read through it because it outlines a process of self acceptance and the steps that I went through to get to the point where I am. It is called Uncovering the Divine Within and the entire workshop is on my website at www.healingcenter.com. I have gotten the most amazing emails from people all over the world who have stumbled upon my website and have truly had remarkable results in self acceptance and healing. It is my main desire in life to help as many people as possible to fully love and accept themselves and if it can help you, I will feel so richly rewarded.
Love & Life,
Kerri
Acting like bond was just a word that i used to resume something that is a bit diferent. No one understands that i still be myself and act like i want and how i feel. Acting like bond or something it is just like learning to ride a bycicle. It just another skill. I feel confortable and i feel myself as normal. Besides that i can show deep feeling and show how my inner being is to other womens.
In the very begining of course that i my show the surface- everybody does it to unknown persons - but i will gradly show the deeper areas of my soul. And i can steel actin like bond or something (bond was just the example: i act by being fun and sometimes arrogant in a funny kiding and teasing way).
Most important of all i can have sucess wiht womens and they still being seeing my deep, not only the surface.
But recently it started to grow up a new problem (should i call it problem ?)
More and more i am loosing the need of being with anyone. I just want to be left alone. I dont see my self in the future with any one more to share it. I think i like being myself alone -just me and nature. I feel goood like that.
Sometimes i go in bycicle to the river near my home. I just sit in the grass near it, under some trees. The silver river, the clouds, the whisperings of the wind over the branches and the blue sky are all hat i need to be good. Even a single leap of a tree, any little rock or just an anonymous wave in the river, are big enough to make me happy. There is no need of a women. Is this normal?
To me i am starting to think that it is. I think that the ideal (emotionaly) kind of life for me is starting to get designed in front of my eyes: live in harmony with nature and, when some instinctive need come across me (you get it: sex) the best thing to do is just join me for some few days with a friend (female) that accepts this idea. Someone that it just cares for some sex. This femal presence may vary according to the opportunitys and my taste. It´s a like a Don Juan: one day one girl, another week other girl, etc.
What about friendship? The ideal it is just have some good friends (doesnt matter if is femal or male in here) and have fun with them.
Why i am having this changing in attitude? To me sounds normal, but people just want to show me that it is not...(wll, i know that if i dont use preservative it is not very healthy...[;)]).
Lighthouse,
What you described is just the thing I meant when I spoke of the beauty from inside. It's like a light that shines through from the soul, and no ammount of altering appearences, or putting on airs and graces can substitute for that inner beauty.
I see this as something that works equally well for both men and women. Especially for people like the two of us who can sense what is inside of a person, that beauty is far far more attractive than the perfect babe or hunk who is cold and shallow inside.
- James.
Well said James. While I attempted to give dimension to these qualities, your generalization conveys far more. It is indeed inner beauty that makes all the difference.
Kazbadan, now you are talking some real stuff! Now you are sounding more attractive. Sorry Birm and Kiauma, Kazbadan has finally got my attention! [;)]
Kazbadan, I wouldn't worry too much about wanting alone time. I think everyone goes through phases like that. I would have been happy to be a nun if I could have done it for two or three years. I think there are times when we want to be deep and meaningful and other times when we just want to go at it like rabbits with no emotional connections, remorse or guilt afterwards. I think alone time gives you a chance to process your life experiences, your emotions, thoughts, etc.
This is what I meant about having to make a choice, risking being alone in order to achieve a higher self. Because you can have a lot of shallow relationships and you will be just as alone. You will probably know of people who got married just for the sake of not being alone and are now miserable. To use one of your quotes, it may be great to reign over hell but hell has an expiry date. In the end your soul is extinguished and no one will remember you even existed. Developing your higher self will attract a person who is looking for someone to really share a physical, emotional and spiritual life with. It will bring out the worst and the best in you, but more than anything you will know you are alive and real. Not many people get to feel that.
To answer Gwathren, what Kazbadan has written this second time is what I think women want. They want a person with emotional and spiritual depth.
WOMEN!!! CAN NEVER MAKE A DECISION AS YOU SEE!!![:(!]
(btw Why am i yelling???) [8D]
Hehehe, don't lump all us women into that category Birm..[;)]
Nay
Sorry Birm, I can't help it, you see...gosh, this is so hard to talk about...I will finally reveal a deep dark secret about myself. Not many people know this, I have kept it secret. Well, you see I am part human and part animal. From the waist up I look just like everyone else but from the waist down, I'm, I'm, a...rabbit! [:O] [:P] [;)]
See you in the fields.[:X] [}:)] [;)]
I think i am missing something because of my english....
Why do you say that Atalanta cannot make a decision?! Why does she answer like if she is not?!
And...You are a rabbit?!! Jesus!! I am an hare! What a coincidence...[:)]
Kazbadan, in a couple of posts back when I was replying to you I said,
I think there are times when we want to be deep and meaningful and other times when we just want to go at it like rabbits with no emotional connections, remorse or guilt afterwards.
So I was picking up on that and joking about it.
A hare eh, my mother told me to stay away from hares. She said something about them being too cheeky, too fast and she didnt trust those long ears. Then again, who ever listened to their mothers! [;)]
There is one question that is still being not completly answered...and i want an honest answer even if it is some how unusual: how much percent of importance do you give (you womens) to the body? How much goes to the personality?
BTW ATALANTA: Don´t listen to your mom, because this morning when i woke up ther was this messahe in my computer "Follow the white rabbit!". Are you the white rabbit?!
Kazbadan, I think women are attracted to different things in guys at different times. If you are just going out for fun, you may be 70% interested in looks and 30% personality. However, if you are searching for a life partner it may be 70% personality and 30% looks. It depends on what you want and I think that goes for guys as well.
I think also for women who want a serious relationship, unless they, they women, have a lot of money or are professionals, I think that most women in the back of their heads still look for someone who is financially secure. They don't have to be rich but not broke either. You can't blame women for that though because if you think about it, they are most likely to stop working because of illness or babies and then where is the money going to come from.
I know of one woman who married a guy who is really lazy, they now have two children and she works to support him and the children. That is a woman's nightmare. For myself, I suffered illnesses some time ago which stopped me from working and then my father had a stroke so I started to look after my parents, niece and nephew so my sister could work. So in my particular case, finding a partner who is healthy, hardworking and a professional person is important. I don't have the strength to look after one more person, I need someone to take care of me for a change.
The reason I say this is to say that each case is different. People have weaknesses and they look for someone who has complimentary strengths to balance things out a little. Its hard to make blanket statements. Not all women want rich guys, or smart guys, or deep spiritual guys, etc. It depends on what your situation is and what attracts you.
By the way, when I was making the remark about being a half rabbit, its funny because I had an image of a big fluffy white rabbit! You must be psychic Kazbadan! [8D] You can follow the white rabbit Kaz but theres no guarrantee that you won't get bitten. [:D][;)]
atalanta,
Great post!
Thanks
.
.
This sure is a loaded question...LOL
The main things I seek are sensitivity; no macho axe to grind or I'm completely turned off. I highly prefer an artistic, spiritual type with a lot of soul. He must be very warm, be energetic and love to have fun!!! I prefer someone who is not into spectator sports, or at least is only marginally into them.
I happen to love cars, gadgets, video games and technology; would love to meet a guy who is also.
My main turn offs are liars, cheaters, control freaks, and verbal abusers, of course.
Another important thing is that he's a no-nonsense type who hates sappy movies and music, and loves or at least has a tolerance for the avant-garde, and has a demented sense of humour.
Motivated with big dreams is a big plus, too...and doesn't want to have children.
quote:
Originally posted by Nay
Hehehe, don't lump all us women into that category Birm..[;)]
Nay
I second that...that also goes for people (Not on here) who say that all women want men for their money...or don't care about a sense of humour.
Kodemaster,
I am glad you mentioned this about women and money. I wasn't sure if I had made myself clear and I had been wondering what people might think about that.
I wanted to clarify that I don't think that women look just for money in a guy. I use to have this argument with my sister. I would not marry anyone if I wasn't in love with them. However, if I had a choice of being in love with a financially secure person, who is hardworking and works as a professional or someone who is uneducated, has no ambition, a daydreamer and poor, I would choose the first. I think most women would but that doesn't make them gold diggers. You may fall in love with a daydreamer and that is fine, but you will have to accept that your life is going to be a difficult one. You will have to go without, you will have to pick up the workload that he isn't willing to do, you will have to put up with a life-time of broken promises and commitments, etc.
There is an old Marilyn Munroe film, I think it was called How to marry a Millionaire. Marilyn and a couple of other women move to the city, rent an expensive apartment and begin to hunt for rich guys. Marilyn ends up with a rich guy and when she meets his reluctant father she says something like this to him. She says to him that she is an orphan but if she had a father, she is sure her father would want her to have the best, so what is wrong with her wanting it and demanding it for her self.
There is a lot of sociologists out there blaming all sorts of things for society's problems, in my mind there is a single reason why things have gone downhill. Women don't believe they are worthy of love, security or happiness. Our families use to demand it for us. They would make sure that our future husbands came from 'good stock'. Then with the revolution when women suddenly had choice, they didn't know how to demand the best for themselves. They could demand the best in terms of work and education but for some reason not in relationships. Relationships are in certain ways like contracts. For some reason women think its okay to get a lesser deal. In any other situation the lawyer would have been fired.
Love is great, but diamonds are a girls best friend...[:X]
About halfway into the post it was asked what do guys look for in women. For me it's pretty simple
Looks
Intellect
Personality
I'm not going to lie to myself, looks matter. I've had sex now so I know they don't matter as much as I had originally thought (and even then it wasn't all imporant). I need to be physically attracted to the girl for me to be able to like her. It's just a fact of how my mind works.
As for intellect, I need to be able to talk to her. If she is dumb, it feels like I'm dating a hot 12 year old or something. I need to be able to converse with her on various subjects. Preferably even talk to her about complex abstract things and my programming projects and stuff, but I'm not that picky.
Personality? I could give a grocery list, but it's pretty simple when you think about it. Good natured, aggressive, witty, thoughtful, nice... blah blah. There are many different personalities that work for me, and a few that absolutely do not. Things that don't are people that are cold biatches... can't stand that. Obviously people that would end up hating my family, friends, or things I believe in (such as Christianity or my forays into AP). Ect ect.
The best way to describe it is that there is no set of things I look for. It's more like, this thing gives a plus and this thing gives a minus.
My dream girl would probably be a hot asian girl that has a college degree and likes to play computer games, watch anime, and messes around with stuff like astral projection and energy gathering and stuff.
Obviously, the chances of me getting someone that fits exactly into that mold are somewhere between 1 in a million to winning the lottery 20 weeks in a row, so I basically just go on instinct when converning wether or not I like a girl. But if I wanted to really analyze whether or not I liked her, it invariably falls into the above 3 categories where at least 2 and almost certainally 3 categories ahve to be met for me to take interest in a girl.
So that concludes my paper. Any questions? In all honesty, I could fall in love with a cute girl with some bouce in attitude before I know her name, so the above is just guidelines :p
quote:
I would not marry anyone if I wasn't in love with them. However, if I had a choice of being in love with a financially secure person, who is hardworking and works as a professional or someone who is uneducated, has no ambition, a daydreamer and poor, I would choose the first. I think most women would but that doesn't make them gold diggers. You may fall in love with a daydreamer and that is fine, but you will have to accept that your life is going to be a difficult one. You will have to go without, you will have to pick up the workload that he isn't willing to do, you will have to put up with a life-time of broken promises and commitments, etc.
If this was the case, I would choose NOT to marry either of them.. [^] I'm certaintly not afraid to live alone, I just got lucky..no, take that back..I was BLESSED to have found the man I have today. [:D]
Nay [:)]
Nay, he sounds good. What does he think of harems and polygamy?! [;)]
quote:
Originally posted by Nay
quote:
I would not marry anyone if I wasn't in love with them. However, if I had a choice of being in love with a financially secure person, who is hardworking and works as a professional or someone who is uneducated, has no ambition, a daydreamer and poor, I would choose the first. I think most women would but that doesn't make them gold diggers. You may fall in love with a daydreamer and that is fine, but you will have to accept that your life is going to be a difficult one. You will have to go without, you will have to pick up the workload that he isn't willing to do, you will have to put up with a life-time of broken promises and commitments, etc.
If this was the case, I would choose NOT to marry either of them.. [^] I'm certaintly not afraid to live alone, I just got lucky..no, take that back..I was BLESSED to have found the man I have today. [:D]
Nay [:)]
Ha ha,
Shall we rename this the Venus & Mars thread [:o)]
S [;)]
quote:
Originally posted by atalanta
However, if I had a choice of being in love with a financially secure person, who is hardworking and works as a professional or someone who is uneducated, has no ambition, a daydreamer and poor, I would choose the first.
Agreed. Motivated is a must; that's what I meant about "big thinker"...either wants to have his own business, or make it as a musician, filmmaker, actor, writer, scientist, doctor, physicist, etc...wants to go "all the way" in life...and I'm not referring to the other interpretation of that phrase :)
If he just wants to sit around Rome, NY all day munching on pizza and squirting out kids, fughhadaboutit. :) (Not that I have anything against kids, of course...I personally would just rather tour the world than "settle down")
Educated is a must. A clean-cut businessman with an artistic flair would be perfect...a graphic designer perhaps? That is what I went to school for after all. :)
My ideal (but taken) man:
http://chris.pirillo.com
Used to host "The Screen Savers" on TechTV. Got his start in the entertainment world by creating the renowned Lockergnome.com
Why he would be perfect for me:
He's absolutely adorable
He's extremely energetic
Has an awesome sense of humour
Is extremely intelligent
Loves technology
Of course, I'll never meet him, and if he reads this, he'll probably think I'm insane... LOL [}:)]
Some cute piccies:
http://www.kangarose.com/tss/images/ChrisLeo1.jpg
http://lilivonschtupp.com/liliimages/msgne/chris.jpg
http://images.linspire.com/mobilepc/pic0.jpg
http://www.therightersbox.com/images/Tim_with_Chris_Pirillo.jpg
And my all time favourite:
(//forums/uploaded/kodemaster/lockergnomie.jpg)
Here's to hopin'...LOL [:D]
quote:
Originally posted by atalanta
Nay, he sounds good. What does he think of harems and polygamy?! [;)]
Hahahahaha!! I'm not sure how he feels about it, but I know how I feel about it..[}:)]
Smiles~ Nay [;)]
P.S. I added to my sig, what cha think?..LOL
quote:
Originally posted by runlola
Gwathren
yes, this is very true. The game IS everything.
[:I]
Oh great!
I got it right!
Say..lola..how old are you?[;)]
I'll tell ya...Muhahahahahahaha [;)]
Smiles~ Nay
There was this subject here "approaching women". I'll make the question very simple – Women, what do you look for in a man?
(this is addressed mainly to women)