I feel embarrassed... what do you think?

[Zagadka]

It's been 2 months. You doing it again or what? If that was me, I would've gotten mad embarrassed and then move on. So what if you're labeled as a freak? Embrace it. You probably heard this lame advice a bunch of times but it's true.

I had a lot of free time. I'm very busy at the moment with school. But I still do weird things... or things I considered people would consider strange. At lunch, I often meditate. Sometimes, I think people may find it strange... but often it's the whole contrary, they come to me and they say I look zen, and I make them feel like meditating! I accept a lot more to feel embarrassed... I learned that it's okay but that there's not need to push the embarrassment further with thoughts processing. I also thought it was strange for me to speak about projection. Actually, when you use the right words, many people are very interested! The other day, I told two of my classmates that this morning I had woke up outside. They were like "What? How did that happen?". I was cracked up and I then told them I went back to my bed and found myself sleeping there! Then they both shared that they had experienced onieric lucidity.

I meditate a lot. In silence or with a mantra. This is how I sing my mantra: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bj74MCHdyGo I didn't edit my vocal, but it's a double layer for echo. The feeling I get when I vibrate this way is plain incredible... but it's hard to maintain, I still need practice. I would like to make an art of it. It also brings out visuals way more easily. Plus, the physical vibes are strong, so it adda up to the noticing of meditation. I was very embarrassed to do this at home with my brothers around. I just told them I was doing my usual weird things... and they said "yeah we know you are weird".

Lately, I also did the most embarrassing thing in the world for me, I invited a girl I barely knew for a coffee. All day, my heart raced badly... but even though I was stressed, I had an amazing day... when I was waiting for her at the yoga, my heartbeat skyrocketed. I knew I was going to do it and I just accepted the feelings. Words went all wrong out of my mouth... but she accepted my offer! I was so happy and so proud! It was a success for me, my goal was merely to ask. It turned out she was shy when I asked and she doesn't have the time, isn't interested. That hurts a lot because I met her in the astral and in dreams so many times, kissed and hanged around together. But we talk when we see each other... so it's pretty cool. All in all, I think it's okay to feel embarrassed, what's wrong is to push the anxiety with thoughts processsing. Say I blush, then I tell myself "I must look like a tomato! I look stupid! Hot! Hot! Hot in here! I wanna be somewhere else!"... things just get worse than they really are. There's a book that really helped me lately, it's "The power of now" by Eckart Tolle. It's simple, rational yet spiritual and effective!

[Barnowl]

There's a book that really helped me lately, it's "The power of now" by Eckart Tolle. It's simple, rational yet spiritual and effective!

Fantastic, fantastic book. Got the audio version. Life seems to make so much sense when you read it