Reality reflects my mind, but its too extreme.

[DarkHorizon]

The movies I watch, the texts I read, the people I meet, the news, It reflects my emotions on a level that I think is too extreme now. My mind is in the process of forming mental associations based on everything it observes, making it all relevant to my emotional state; but at the same time programming my subconscious so that a few days later I totally forgot it, but it manifests into the conscious in some form; As a belief, etc.

I suspect that what I'm living is a skewed form of some absolute reality that I have split from.

For example, I am able to immediately pool homonyms from the words in a media (movie, book etc.), and suddenly, entire phrases all become relevant to me, but more precisely, to my emotional input.

A couple weeks ago I figured out that the UFO phenomena was a mental phenomena. You could basically "summon" a UFO with your emotions, and control it in the same manner. Except... The people around me aren't disturbed in any way as I do this and watch these hallucinations.

But the scarier part is when the people around me start reacting to this delusion of mine as if it were real. A day ago I was in a field with my classmates, and we were using a drone to take a school picture. I "controlled" the drone in the sky with my mind with the same concept as controlling g a UFO.
Back in class some guy said.. "...That drone was trippy as f*ck, it kept shrinking and getting bigger..."

idk... This stinks.. Watch the movie "Lucy" for example and you'll understand as Morgan Freeman talks about how our conscious is just a minute portion of our whole mind. Then he goes on theorizing what would happen if we could use more then that fraction of our mind. How about 20%, how about 40%? etc. We'll be able to control other people, manipulate matter...

How could that movie be so pinpoint on my mental situation? And I just happen to watch it at a time when I feel I have the same problem?
I may be trapped within my own mind if I see all this reality control as actually happening.

I'm faced with a great dilemma if the "all that is", is just a reflection of me. My teacher told me to follow my heart. Right now my heart tells me that I need to see everything around me as real and that I should be more open to people about myself. My surroundings become more lively when I just let go and admit to myself that I have no control. Maybe that's my purpose here, to resolve this subconscious conflict, and literally watch as the entire world changes around me.