In need of DESPERATE AND IMMEDIATE help. Please reply.

[DarkCloud]

What is strength? What does it mean to be "strong"? Internally?

Does it mean always holding back your tears or top notch control of one's emotions?
Does it mean never letting what others say ( friend, family, or otherwise) get to you?
Is it having faith at all times?

I have heard lots of different definitions on it but I still haven't been able to access what it truly means...

Is there a difference between feeling  hurt or down and wallowing  in your sadness?
Do the strong cry, get angry, or flustered?

I spent too many years in depression, thinking myself weak and all that. I overcame it eventually, getting respect for myself and valuing my life.

I absolutely do not want to go back to that, I'm so afraid of doing so.

So, please help me out.

Is one who gets overwhelmed with emotion still strong? If they do so, are they weak?

[Stookie]

As mentioned in another thread, there is a big difference between controlling emotions and suppressing emotions. Holding back tears is suppression. Crying because you spilled a glass of water is lack of control. There is something going on before you have a chance to suppress. Is it worth crying about in the first place?

I think that a person who gets overwhelmed with emotion can get through it by having a strong will. Being strong is not giving into the emotion and letting it takeover rational thought. Emotions are there for a reason, but they are not us. I think that true strength is in a person's will, whatever that willing is. Whether it's to confront a fear, do something you always wanted to, or remove depression.

This may sound silly, but I saw Conan O'Brian on Charlie Rose a few days ago, and he said what makes him successful is his will to do it. He said there are nights when his body does not want to do the show, but his will to do it is stronger. He said that someone could shoot him in the chest, he'd do the show at his best ability, and then go backstage and die. As long as he finishes the show.

My point being that finding the will in yourself to do... whatever you will.

[DarkCloud]

Thanks for those encouraging words, Stookie. 

I was really going crazy with this. My dad is the kind of person that will surpess most of his emotions with the exception of anger, and having an argument/debate with him one time left me questioning what is strength at all?

Fortunately I have alot of caring people and friends who have helped me through this problem.

My current will is to be strong and positive, and I do believe its possible, but first I had to find out what those terms mean in the first place, ya know?

I really appreciate the help^_^.

[Novice]

I agree with Stookie. There's a big difference between suppressing emotions and controlling emotions. Controlling emotions is where will is needed. One needs to understand that crying does not mean one is weak. There are many reasons for wanting to cry and everyone reacts differently to different situations. One may cry due to a death, sickness or injury to themselves or someone they care about. Sometimes stress can trigger someone to want to cry. But the crying is a way of releasing the emotion. The will is involved in knowing when the body needs to cry and versus when the emotions are trying to take over.

I think people who force themselves not to cry or laugh or release any emotions are actually the weak ones. To me it means they are afraid. Afraid of what others may think, afraid of letting themselves actually feel things, afraid of what they themselves think based on what they associate to the emotions. I think there is a lot of fear involved in suppressing emotions, and to me fear is weakness, not strength.

[no_leaf_clover]

This is what I would add to the above: being strong means knowing when to give way. Nothing has to ever be forced, either out or in; it isn't natural.

What others say, you never have to take personally, so why would you? Is there a reason for it? I laugh when others insult me, if they do a good enough job. When others get angry at me, I act and feel just as I would if they were calm, because the anger is neither necessary, nor anyone's problem but those who bother to care and let it affect them. And I have nothing that I feel the need to have faith in.

Once, when I was constantly depressed, I decided to focus on the feeling as much as I possibly could, bringing it to the forefront of my consciousness, instead of trying to avoid it, or ignore it, inspired by some buddhist literature I'd read. This was about the only time I've found meditation useful, thus far anyway (doesn't mean no one else could). First I noticed how it felt so localized to my gut, kind of like this reeling feeling. At some points I didn't really notice any other nerve information from other parts of my body, but only felt that reeling feeling in my gut, and it felt a lot larger and more intense, if those are the right words. I never thought "Jeez I hate this", or "Man I wish this would stop".

I don't know what happened after that, but depression has never been that much of a problem for me since then. Just some minor forebodings of some kind of half-there feeling from time to time. Maybe acceptance of the feeling, or maybe just wondering, "why the hell do I feel this in the first place?", and realizing how ridiculous any reason would be, short of it just being there, and of there being no other legitimate reason. And just being there is hardly a legitimate reason for me to be depressed, when I don't want to be. So I'm just not depressed. It's never really been any more complicated than that for me, since then. My two cents anyway.

[Kazbadan]

I am in the need o desperate help too ...Really. F*** life and **"# people. So tired of everything.

[The Present Moment]

This is what I would add to the above: being strong means knowing when to give way. Nothing has to ever be forced, either out or in; it isn't natural.

Yes - be like a rock and the waters of change will carve you out.