Post your lies here

[Graelwyn]

Pmsl, this is so funny I cant even think of anything to come up with myself that can compete!

[Nameless]

LMAO!!! Now this is worth keeping and reading - 'specially ifn yur feeling down.

I can not tell a lie so I will tell the truth. Believe me if you dare.

I really do have a name - Bwahahahaha!

[LightBeam]

Wow, never came across this one. This is hilarious!

So, last night I get out and I decided to look for my guides because I haven't felt their presence for a while. My instincts lead me to a beautiful enchanted forest. As I walked through the trees, I could hear the sounds of nature with beautiful bird songs, insects buzzing, crickets and frogs, the sound of the tree leaves... All of a sudden I hear distant sounds of rock music. I get closer and I start hearing voices and commotion. I make my way through thick bushes, and there it was - a bunch of weird looking creatures were having a good time. A chubby troll was drunk, rolling in the dirt, trying to sign along..."a-and nothing else matteeeeeers" with his scratchy voice. A stoned gnome was dancing out of rhythm, spinning himself and falling on the ground, while laughing at himself.  My fairy godmother was stuffing her face with chocolate cake and smoking a funny looking thin cigarette. The air smelled like skunks, although I didn't see any around. A small butterfly like fairy was flying out of balance and hitting trees and branches, holding a small bottle with a Whiskey sign on it and singing quietly "I kissed a girl and I liked it.....fa la la la la". An angel with beautiful wings was sitting quiet on the corner with a blank expression on her face wiping her nose from what looked liked a powdered sugar. A bunch of elves were playing poker and fighting that someone was caught cheating.
In complete disbelieve, I yelled "Heeeeey, what the, what is happening here, you are supposed to be watching over me, hellooooo. The music stopped and everyone froze. The gnime broke the silence and said to me "Honey, chill out, we need a break here, you are too demanding with your wishes". The troll added "Yeah, you are not our only client you know"
My fairy godmother said in a soft voice " Sweetheart, you can go to the mall and get yoursef a nice dress and shoes. It's not like you have to sew it by hand" rolling her eyes. The butterfly fairy was going "Weeeeeeeeee, la la laaaaa, bottoms up"
The angel was most concidered. She pulled out a small plastic bag with this powder thing and said "Want some?"
The elves, just looked at me and shook their heads. One of them blew me a kiss.

Then I woke up with a scream!!!!!