What I am beginning to think. My feelings.

[AstralCody]

Does anybody else view earth as a trap? Or a prison planet? Earth is beautiful, but not so much the society that's in it. I been feeling a lot of different emotions lately. I finally deleted my Facebook because I could no longer stand seeing depressing news updates. I also feel that maybe Facebook is used as a mind control thing. I feel like once I was a strong being, maybe from a higher realm. I feel like I don't belong on this earth. Almost feel trapped. I know a lot of people say that this place is a place for the soul to learn and grow but I am starting to not buy that anymore. Not with my experiences and feelings I been getting lately. The whole Karma and Karmic dept thing makes absolutely no sense to me either. After really digging deep learning about these things... It just doesn't make sense. I think the whole coming back to earth cycle is cr@p. There are bigger and better things out there. I feel like maybe I came down here to explore, which is all fine and dandy but with today's society people need to work to live. There is corruption all over. You can't just explore and grow. You are constantly being bombarded with hurtful things and seeing horrible things on TV. I don't even watch TV anymore unless it's a sitcom. My point is how can you learn and grow... When you are born you are automatically being told what to do and believe. To me this place is a prison planet and I will not being coming back. I absolutely love nature, but I feel like I do not fit with the human species. Except very few people. I feel like I am something else trapped in a human like vehicle. When I say something else, I mean not originally from here. I feel I do not fit with this place. The only time I feel no pain is when I am out of body. It feels like home to me. Even if I find myself in the RTZ, which is where I usually end up. I feel so much peace, and I feel like if only I could find out how to go higher I would leave my body right now for good. I may come visit earth from time to time in the NPR but living in this life just feels like one big giant trap to me.

Does anybody else feel this way?

[Volgerle]

Does anybody else feel this way?

in short: sometimes ... YES

[Szaxx]

AC,
Enjoy this emotional ride. You've got a desire to get further and higher. You aint goina get there. Not yet anyway. You're experiencing a positive emotional shift within yourself and this doesn't go away. You'll see lots of things that grind your bones in the physical, its all part of being physical.
The idea now to adopt, is being aware of it. Do what you can so it has a lesser effect on you both externally and moreso internally. Its a test. You have to rise above the anger it creates. Look at the food chain and then understand things die to make others live. We can't recycle everything so some things have to end.
Your lesson is to witness more and accept some of it as a natural cycle, while helping somewhat where applicable and understanding that other aspects are bad. Some of this badness is a reaction to a supressed existance. That means the person being very negative is forced into a lifestyle they actually despise. Under pressure you can become what you hate. Open up your understanding that the big picture is far bigger than what you actually see.
Do you understand the meaning above?
Good and bad are based on your experiences. Being young, this needs lots of thought.
You are capable of this too.
Lets face it, the world is crazy. That gives it a strong attraction factor.

[Stookie_]

I agree with Szaxx, that's good advice.

In a way it is a trap, in that we're addicted to the physical experience and take it for reality. That's why I do what I do... I want 100% freedom & liberation. Not that I think physical is jail or hell, but that it's limited and with boundaries (including the astral), and I've seen beyond the limitations, and I want to be that.

And lets say it is all just a trap. What are you gonna do about it? It's not like you have much of a choice right now. I suppose some people think suicide is an escape, but not if you just recycle back into it. The way I see it, you either learn from your experiences and fight for liberation, or you do nothing and just ride it out and hope for the best.

[Bedeekin]

I don't view earth as a trap.

Stookie and Szaxx... spot on.

[rain_88]

I kinda feel the same. Never been thinking about myself as a human being, a man or a woman. I just can't identify with these roles and norms and expectations etc... Never been able to fit in, but I feel so much better now that I stopped trying ! I feel like I'm wired differently. I can't care to talk about the things in life which I consider as mundane. I don't watch TV and don't even know what is going on in the city I live in since I find it very irrelevant. Doesn't affect me on a daily level. I am fed up with people talking about each other. But I just try to accept them the way they are, I mean the way I see them, since I think they are just the way you want to see them; and not to judge, 'cause I don't want to become cynical and poison myself with that.

I was wondering about this prison thing recently. What if all this let us grow and level up thing is just part of the trick, and we are prisoners for real, and this isn't our personal learning ground but little golden cage, and we are all being punished to reside in this physical form. I know, I know, it is a privilege to be here. Whatever  . I can enjoy it, and I am totally satisfied with the little things or just being, but I've got these burning questions about existence since I was 4, and just can't take the you-are-where-you-should-be and you-just-simply-can't-comprehend-that-yet type of answers. I mean, can you really take that? Isn't that driving you batshit crazy deep down in your core? Not because it is offending my ego. I know that a bacteria in your gut doesn't need to worry about your well being, but who said that this bacteria can't be curious as hell?

[AstralCody]

Thank you so much for the replies everyone.

Rain- I can definitely relate. I'm wired completely different but I learned to accept myself for it. I find myself observing more than ever communicating.

Everyone is right though, I am here so I am making the best of it. It's just the whole karma and karmic dept thing... When you really break it down it makes absolutely no sense. To me people have a different code of conduct. There's people like Mr Holmes who killed I forget how many people at the Batman premiere very close to my house and showed no remorse. Then you got people like me who can't even hurt a fly. I think the whole coming here to experience cancer because in your past life you made fun of people with tumors... W/e is also bullcrap in a chef salad. Like I said I'm starting to dig deep and find out answers. I just feel non human but its as I'm trapped in this body (vehicle) for now... Because something or someone told me to come back here... Or to come here just to mess with me. Like a puppet. I know that's getting into conspiracy and all of that... It's just how I feel.

[todd421757]

http://www.astralpulse.com/forums/welcome_to_astral_chat/the_white_light_trap-t17466.0.html

The above link is interesting. Whether it is true or false information is unknown.

[Bedeekin]

What if you chose to live your life? 

That before you were born.. you picked the existence you are in now?

[Volgerle]

What if you chose to live your life?  

That before you were born.. you picked the existence you are in now?

I believe we definitely do. Regressive hypnosis, for example, is pretty consistent (many books, authors, transcripts) on this issue regarding live-"between"-lives.

Still, there is this gap between the Higher Self's will / knowing / goals and your ego will / knowing / goals, and all the questions that you cannot answer.

You (as your) Higher Self chose this life and to come here, not your ego avatar that was chosen (by the HS) for playing another match here now in this multi-player (virtual?) reality game.

[Bedeekin]

When we dream (Non-LUCID)... we are essentially experiencing an existence that is bereft of memory of normality. Put another way.. we assume when we are dreaming that what we are experiencing is an actual narrative existence, sometimes no matter how messed up or illogical it is... We don't really remember that we are laying in bed and that we are just sleeping.. we believe that we are plastering the walls of our ex bosses holiday home in east Berlin that resembles a supermarket meat counter.

It stands to reason that this is what happens when we die... we wake up in whatever form of consciousness being able to take the knowledge of that life into the real existence we ARE when nonphysical. Yet when here... we only have glimpses or part knowledge of our nonphysical selves. Obviously OOBEs etc are a way of connecting to that while existing in the here and now.

I think it's the same thing we are talking about. I just wanted to say that. 

[AstralCody]

You all have great points. I think the reincarnation thing definitely takes place. Incarnation, reincarnation, sure. But when I hear "You need to come back to earth because you haven't grown enough yet." I just think that's so messed up. Unless of course you want to come back etc. Number one, why come back here and have your memory wiped out? It sounds like a repeating process of trap to me... "trap planet"   Call me crazy but I think there may just be something else bigger going on... Like people or things... w/e telling us to come back when we drop dead, saying oh... you didn't do enough good... you need to go back and do good. just to toy with us. What is good anyway? To me it's one code of conduct. Look how bad society has gotten and I haven't experienced yet... but know there are higher civilizations out there. It's just if I have the option I am not coming back to planet the hell earth. This place just doesn't feel right... I am living though and doing my best. I love to hep people it's who I am.

[Astral-Trea]

I think you are probably a mature soul or old soul that is going through the awakening process.. The fact that you are pondering these things proves that. I think we all chose this and there are reasons why, but we forget intentionally so that we are not influenced by our cosmic knowledge and can live life fresh. I agree, this earth the we presently are experiencing is not very pretty anymore.. Its changed so much in my short 31 years and not for the better... But i think of it as a trap as much as i thought of school as a trap (i hated school and couldnt wait to be done.) 12 years of school was horrible to me and I almost dropped out towards the end but people talked me out of it and i am glad i didnt.

Now, like many others, sometimes I wish I could go back in time to high school and do things over again. Think of this in terms of life and maybe after that is over, we say the same things... Only we can go back and relive it over and over, experiencing different things each time. One time as a rich man, another time as a homeless man, one married, one not, etc.

It sounds horrible but i think honestly at this point, anyone who is going through this awakening is either close to his/her last life here, or they are currently living it. After getting so much experience, maybe the next step is to become spirit guides or something like that. Imagine being a spirit guide with a lack of experience in life right?

And I think of suicide as being held back a grade or quitting school.. You will just come back again and probably experience a worst life than before, or you will decend rather than ascend.

These are my thoughts on it

[Stookie_]

You all have great points. I think the reincarnation thing definitely takes place. Incarnation, reincarnation, sure. But when I hear "You need to come back to earth because you haven't grown enough yet." I just think that's so messed up. Unless of course you want to come back etc. Number one, why come back here and have your memory wiped out? It sounds like a repeating process of trap to me... "trap planet"   Call me crazy but I think there may just be something else bigger going on... Like people or things... w/e telling us to come back when we drop dead, saying oh... you didn't do enough good... you need to go back and do good. just to toy with us. What is good anyway? To me it's one code of conduct. Look how bad society has gotten and I haven't experienced yet... but know there are higher civilizations out there. It's just if I have the option I am not coming back to planet the hell earth. This place just doesn't feel right... I am living though and doing my best. I love to hep people it's who I am.

I think you have a lot of information but the incorrect corresponding concepts. It's obvious you feel you have/had no choices in any of this, but it's from you're current physical perspective. It doesn't make any sense to you that we come here and our memories are wiped clean, but if you could remember everything, there would be no reason for coming here in the first place. We come with a fresh mind so we can experience everything for a first time, and so we can gain experiences that become ingrained in our being. You talk about how bad society is, but you haven't had the opportunity to see the reality of physical existence yet. You're in the midst of it and caught up in it as though it's the definitive reality. One of the things that make this world seem so tough and solidified while here is that it seems to last a long time, but from the other side, time doesn't even exist and this life is a little tiny drop in the bucket. You are not "you", you're just playing a role. You're a much more real and perfect being... you're not even working towards being perfect, we're all already perfect and just need to realize it. If enlightenment is anything, it's that.

There's no one who says "you didn't complete your task, now you have to make up for it". Your concept of karma is off... there is no good or bad, there is no punishment. You're doing this because you chose to do this. It's an exciting process, especially the more you learn about yourself.

I agree with Astral-Trea - I think you're ahead of the game because you're consciously questioning these things. I went through the same thing... my exact phrasing was "I wonder if this is one big cosmic practical-joke being played on me". And I became 100% determined to find the truth of the matter. Like I said earlier, it's either figure it out on my own (as we all have to do), or ride it out and hope for the best, and I'm not one to sit around.

[Volgerle]

... why come back here and have your memory wiped out? It sounds like a repeating process of trap to me... "trap planet"

I think that's a common misconception not being understood by many. You do NOT have everything wiped out. You are NOT a clean slate. How do you know that? Simple: you wouldn't be here on the Pulse in the first place. 

Because from the start in every life you only "re(dis)cover" things on a kind of experiential and intellectual level. But you already bring with you into every life you lead (at least subconsciously - but this is the most important thing!) your attained BEING LEVEL, your quality of consciousness, which then leads you to a life like this, e.g. knowing (for certain and intuitively) about the larger realty (which sets you apart from maybe 99% or so of the population) and bringing also other positive QUALITIES with you that develop faster than in other people who have not been here so often ("young souls") and who are more deeply steeped in superficial materialism.

T. Campbell explains this EXACTLY here in this short clip:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_RORIyVXBgQ#t=9m05s

I bookmarked the minute for you where he exactly speaks about it, but I recommend to you watching the whole clip.

[AstralCody]

Volgerle I appreciate it! I bookmarked the video and will definitely watch the whole thing. Love Tom Campbells stuff. I might have to watch it a few times sometimes it takes me a few times to finally click with what people are trying to say. I am heading out now but I have it bookmarked for when I get back. Much thanks. 

[AstralCody]

I watched the whole thing and starting at 9:00 really made sense to me because I can relate to that a lot. It's been happening since I was about 9 years old and hasn't stopped, and now I am here... haha The only thing I didn't quite get was your physical reality fades like a dream... What about if you had a wife etc? Do they go their separate way or do you think you always stay in touch? I'd hate to love my family so much only to find out I wouldn't ever see them again when I passed away.

[Volgerle]

I'd hate to love my family so much only to find out I wouldn't ever see them again when I passed away.

Your family members you love also pass away sooner or later, we all do, true? They don't remain in this form and neither do you. That's fact. Don't cling too much to your current form or to their current form(s).

What remains and always is/was that's the Higher Self that played the role(s). So there will be reunion and you meet again in your "real" state. You need to accept that your father/mother/brother/sister is a "soul" that just played the "role" of (your) father/mother/brother/sister as you know them. Likewise you will not be AstralCody as you (think you) know yourself from this life but you will be your Higher Self again (you always are and were, actually). That does not mean that the personality will go away or so. It is just MORE and not LESS. But all your 'personalies' somehow exist, too, I think they are not 'erased'. And together they form the picture of what you really are.

I my"self" am in the process now of "meeting" and/or getting data about my other selfs (incarnations). I know how some look like already (possibly) and maybe I heard their voices too. (Yes, you can talk to "them"). And I got some 'hard data', too (place of birth, year of birth, name) and am in the process of checking data and solidifying / confirming it.

Again another video on the personalities making up the Higher Self personality that you (really) are. It's the great old man himself on one of his talks:

part 6, start with his description of the "Higher Self" ("Total Self", or the "IT-cluster" as he called it) with the interactive live experiences / personalities:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?&v=EJ0QQ9612yg

part 4 (bookmarked) about the data storage / mainframe of life experiences, emotions, karmic implications, events, learned lessons, etc.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oF6Ri_6QKjo#t=4m38s

It is also interesting to find out that maybe some of the 'earlier' personalites were melted together to form your new personality for this life experience. Also you can draw on your 'older' personalities skills and experiences if needed, or they even come as your helpers in case you need them and they have sth to offer that "you" need in a certain circumstance or situation (so "guides" might be often your higher self actually).

Again, I bookmarked when he is talking about how to explore and experience your(higher)self but I again recommend watching the whole talk once you find the time (it's long!).

[Everlasting]

Yes but at least you should be glad you're not a gypsy.

[sqprx]

I feel this very often, exactly how you've described it, Astral Cody.
The way I see it is you've chose these exact surcamstances and life before you incarnated here, also you had a plan in mind for yourself for this lifetime. You just have to search and find this PATH you had in mind for yourself. It was very intuitive for me, as soon as you think about it, your heart pounds , you feel excited, you feel you can talk about it all day. Cut off all sociaty notions what your life should be like and follow your intuition and heart. I did it, I don't regret it, even if I don't succeed the process of trying to suceed in doing things I love is much much pleasurable and intune than trying to live the way society tells you to.

Get into "suceed or die trying" attitude, this helps alot, and you'll be succesful and happy, no doubt about it