why i am here

kurai kokoro · September 30, 2009, 00:43:19

i've been asking myself why I keep coming to this web site, and why I am supposed to, well for a while I did not even know why, it's strange not knowing, somehow something escapes your thought escapeing your grasp and leaving you breathless with wonder, I suppose that I keep returning here because I feel lost, don't know why I exist or who I am.
They say that destiny isn't determind by fate, but rather is determind by choice, heh.. i've made bad choices, i've made some good choices, but yet in many ways nither of which i care, i'm just looking for myself as I feel lost and alone, a freind asked me why I am so alone and funny how I don't even know that.
I try to decide when to meditate and when to practice energy training but all in all, i can either never remember or other wise.

ps. I have no idea why I decided to post this.

radman32 · September 30, 2009, 01:59:21

Try having goals, set plans, and don't leave yourself inactive or disengaged from people, because that should create your path. Don't leave yourself stranded or you'll feel like a lost soul. The power of affirmation and choice does lead us. Make the best of your community, neighbors, culture, individuality.

kurai kokoro · September 30, 2009, 02:47:04

Quote from: radman32 on September 30, 2009, 01:59:21
Try having goals, set plans, and don't leave yourself inactive or disengaged from people, because that should create your path. Don't leave yourself stranded or you'll feel like a lost soul. The power of affirmation and choice does lead us. Make the best of your community, neighbors, culture, individuality.

every one in my town hates me, and i have a list of them first on my list is to get a job, lol, no one will hire me, i am quite inactive, i never talk to those I don't know unless it's online don't know why though, i don't know my own culture that is whats so bad about america your culture is determined by the government pretty much and what do you mean stranded? like staying in my house all day? i'm never home unless it's at night and thats only because of the law.

Stookie · September 30, 2009, 11:40:00

Quote from: kurai kokoro on September 30, 2009, 02:47:04
every one in my town hates me, and i have a list of them first on my list is to get a job, lol, no one will hire me, i am quite inactive, i never talk to those I don't know unless it's online don't know why though, i don't know my own culture that is whats so bad about america your culture is determined by the government pretty much and what do you mean stranded? like staying in my house all day? i'm never home unless it's at night and thats only because of the law.

I hear ya, it's pretty lonely in my town (and there's a lot of people here too). I also have a longing for culture, cause what's left of it seems all about $$$. It's hard to find people to relate with, and it seems when I most need someone else, no one is around.

And that's what brought me to meditation. Don't get me wrong, it doesn't fix the outside world, it's still the same. But my inner life has been transformed, which changes my perception, which changes my relation with the outside world. Instead of letting it choose how I feel, I choose how I let it effect me. And I also know that I have the ability to affect others out there - it's not all about me, we're all one, and I'm as much here to affect the world as it is to affect me.

And coming to the forum, as uneventful as it may seem at times, let's me know that there are other people out there going through the same thing, even if on certain levels I don't relate with them at all.

You've posted several times today and who knows, maybe you didn't learn anything, but you've given others a lot to think about, including non-members that don't post but read (there's more than you think). So perhaps that's why you keep coming back - you have much to teach others.

kurai kokoro · September 30, 2009, 15:39:49

Quoteyou have much to teach others.

I don't feel wise? hmm... the way I look at it is everyone knows this stuff anyway just unable to remember without proper practice or techniuqe. insight comes from within, not the mind but rather the heart, through will. so why do others need me? heres something i've thought about for a very long time, why do i continue on? as long as i could remember i wanted to kill myself but I never tried or anything so whats stopping me, I guess it's my persuite to wisdom or something I honestly don't know. btw don't think that as a threat to end my life cause its not.

Stookie · October 01, 2009, 11:15:20

Quote from: kurai kokoro on September 30, 2009, 15:39:49
I don't feel wise? hmm... the way I look at it is everyone knows this stuff anyway just unable to remember without proper practice or techniuqe. insight comes from within, not the mind but rather the heart, through will.

Absolutely, but only when you look inward for the insight, and people need help with that. Most societal influences tell us to focus outward on material. I would say that the majority of people out there aren't on the type of path you're on and don't have an understanding of the world the way you do. Not that I know you personally, but there is something that drives you to seek out past the physical or you wouldn't be here. It's both a tremendous help and can be a social hindrance, but it's a gift and one that more people need to learn about so we can change society for the better, and not be the outcasts, but catalysts for change.

kurai kokoro · October 19, 2009, 16:32:47

okay, so youre saying that most people need a form of trial by fire sort of deal similer to that of those who walk on fire or like fire dancing? or are you saying that we all need to look at our selves as well as others in a different perspective?

karmaslave · October 19, 2009, 23:15:54

yeah, I can understand you. I've been coming back to this forum so many times just to read. But otherwise in my life I feel disoriented, lost and without a purpose. Which is funny because on the outside I'm a very goal oriented, determined person. But none of those goals mean much, or anything to me. I just go with the flow [from high school to a good college, good college to a good job etc].
But I live in nyc so there are plenty of people here. Yet at the same time so many people can make you feel even more lost.
Definitely try meditating, like someone said, it helps you just quiet your mind and calm you inside, even when everything around you is spinning.
Maybe you'll never figure out why you are here, but perhaps searching for that answer will be a better journey than the destination. When I started feeling lost and looking for answers I stumbled upon meditation, astral projection, crystals and many other interesting things. If I felt all along that I knew why I am here, maybe I would have never explored all the various ideas there are out there.

Hope this sorta helps :]

kurai kokoro · October 20, 2009, 14:45:28

well i would think before hand when i want to meditate and all but ya know i never do meditate, i guess it's my mind having trouble of letting go.

Zino · October 20, 2009, 17:49:05

I believe you are compelled to come here because, really. You know that you can do things that you may not consciously think, it may be a confidence problem or something. But what am I saying? I've never met you IRL

All I know is, what I have seen you post so far has helped me understand and just grab another piece of the puzzle which is provided from you others and of course others questions. We are all helping people here if we realize or not and every day, though you may feel you know everything you have read I can guarantee you have learnt something from here today and perhaps that is the ultimate reason you keep coming back? I just wanna make sure you DO keep coming back!

kurai kokoro · October 21, 2009, 04:49:56

never said I was leaving, just that I have no clue as to why I come back here, I beleive that in some why I am helpfull however one may help others but that doesn't nessecarily mean they are being helped at all, if you understand that, like today i helped my friends mom load up all her stuff (she realy doesn't need all of that) in a truck and i didn't do it for her i mainly helped her so that her son and his dad could get it done and over with. that and i guess i felt compeled to do so. one bad thing that happined to me during that trip my intire body went numb and after I had eaten it went away i don't know why. anyway.

Stookie · October 21, 2009, 11:50:59

I think that a lot of our subconscious compulsions to help or share ideas are coming from our higher self. I think sometimes it guides us to people and places and we leave not even realizing we did something worthwhile or even amazing. We can impact people without realizing it. I would guess that most inner transformations aren't done consciously and we don't realize it until AFTER we've changed.

Zino · October 21, 2009, 12:42:04

Quote from: Stookie on October 21, 2009, 11:50:59
I think that a lot of our subconscious compulsions to help or share ideas are coming from our higher self. I think sometimes it guides us to people and places and we leave not even realizing we did something worthwhile or even amazing. We can impact people without realizing it. I would guess that most inner transformations aren't done consciously and we don't realize it until AFTER we've changed.

Where did you become so wise Stookie? This is exactly what I had in mind just...I didn't know how to say it!

kurai kokoro · November 05, 2009, 13:59:52

most likely stookie became wise because he or she is older, wisdom may begain with wonder however it is the older generation that begins to wonder and the elders are so close to rebirth that they become somewhat child like in nature.
so why is it that my body keeps going numb it happins every night around the same time, do you know why this has been happining to me stookie?

Tiny · November 05, 2009, 17:07:12

Quote from: Zino on October 21, 2009, 12:42:04
Where did you become so wise Stookie? This is exactly what I had in mind just...I didn't know how to say it!

Dear Zino,

I believe it's due to his practice of meditation, from what I could tell since I once read him defending it before someone who claimed that meditation is boring

By the way Zino, you said you're 14 and I find you amazing. I do understand however, that the increasing consciousness of people on earth is age-irrelevant.

peace

Stookie · November 06, 2009, 12:10:35

Hey, I'm barely into my thirties!

Any wisdom I have comes from 3 things: My mom, meditation since I was 18, and getting royally screwed over in life too many times. School of hard knocks.

Xanth · November 10, 2009, 16:40:59

Quote from: Stookie on November 06, 2009, 12:10:35
Hey, I'm barely into my thirties!

Any wisdom I have comes from 3 things: My mom, meditation since I was 18, and getting royally screwed over in life too many times. School of hard knocks.

It's like I'm looking into a mirror.

kurai kokoro · November 10, 2009, 21:02:11

okay sorry, anyway can anyone tell me why my body goes numb about the same time every night? I mean is it because i'm meditating with out knowing it? is it my higher being or something a little less spiritual and quite harmfull?

Xanth · November 17, 2009, 10:26:50

Quote from: kurai kokoro on November 10, 2009, 21:02:11
okay sorry, anyway can anyone tell me why my body goes numb about the same time every night? I mean is it because i'm meditating with out knowing it? is it my higher being or something a little less spiritual and quite harmfull?

You might wanna start a new post and ask.

CFTraveler · November 17, 2009, 12:58:56

Quote from: kurai kokoro on November 10, 2009, 21:02:11
okay sorry, anyway can anyone tell me why my body goes numb about the same time every night? I mean is it because i'm meditating with out knowing it? is it my higher being or something a little less spiritual and quite harmfull?

What are you doing when it becomes numb, and are you doing the same thing when it becomes numb every night?

kurai kokoro · November 30, 2009, 01:29:55

I don't know, my breathing does change, and then I begain to breath as if i'm meditating, but it mostly happines when i'm wearing one of my neaklaces one has a moss agate and amathyst the other is just a lapis lazuli.
i begain to breath as if i'm meditating because i've realised that something when numb, usually begains with one of my thumbs.

CFTraveler · November 30, 2009, 10:35:44

That sounds like you're witnessing yourself as you fall asleep. Numbness is part of sleep.

Alfera · November 30, 2009, 16:00:11

Quote from: kurai kokoro on November 30, 2009, 01:29:55
I don't know, my breathing does change, and then I begain to breath as if i'm meditating, but it mostly happines when i'm wearing one of my neaklaces one has a moss agate and amathyst the other is just a lapis lazuli.
i begain to breath as if i'm meditating because i've realised that something when numb, usually begains with one of my thumbs.

did you activate your chakras? it changes your personality (not much but you still change) and you feel better

if you need help with chakras send me a private/personal message

Alfera · November 30, 2009, 16:03:26

Quote from: kurai kokoro on November 10, 2009, 21:02:11
okay sorry, anyway can anyone tell me why my body goes numb about the same time every night? I mean is it because i'm meditating with out knowing it? is it my higher being or something a little less spiritual and quite harmfull?

deep relaxation is good : )

Xanth · December 01, 2009, 09:19:52

Quote from: CFTraveler on November 30, 2009, 10:35:44
That sounds like you're witnessing yourself as you fall asleep. Numbness is part of sleep.

That's probably the single most craziest feeling I've ever experienced... the first time it's just like, "WTF is happening to me!?" LoL
Then you realize that it's just your body falling asleep... something that you've done thousands of times before, but yet never *REALLY* experienced it until now.

News:

why i am here

Stookie

Stookie

Stookie

Tiny

Stookie

CFTraveler

CFTraveler