Need Some Advice

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I would like a bit of OOB advice, but before that I would like to briefly explain my situation and my experience level.

My 18 year old son was killed in an auto accident in December.  Since that time I have been doing lots of reading, looking for answers, looking for confirmation that he still exisits etc.  I have read a number of books for bereaved parents and a number of books by or about mediums etc. but had not found the confirmation that I was looking for.  I have always been a good dreamer and have been lucid dreaming since I was a child, so I thought I would read a book or dreams to try to spend some time with my son at least in a dream.  I purchased a book from amazon (for $1.03) by Rosemary Guiley called Dreamwork for the Soul.  I am currently reading this book.  One of the early chapters in the book is titled "Out of Body Dream Travel," though I never had really had much belief in this or felt I would be able to do this if it really did exist, I thought I would give it a try since I was already a resonably good lucid dreamer.  So, on Friday night/Saturday morning when I was laying awake I decided to give the roll out technique a try.  Much to my suprise and delight I was successful.  I felt and heard the rumbling and sensations, they increased in intensity and I knew it was happening and then I was up in the sky.  I only saw in front of me and beside me.  The sky was a color similar to this background of this page, maybe a bit darker, there were scattered clouds and lots of stars or lights in the sky.  I hovered there and then I was off, moving through the clouds so swiftly that I was only able to know that I was moving, but could not make our much of anything.  I do not know if I had a body, it occured to me that I had no idea where to go or what to do now that I was out and then I felt coldness of my arms and was back in my body completely awake.  I looked at the clock and it was 0557 in the morning, I went over and opened my blinds to look outside, and the sky looked fery similar to what I had seen, but maybe not quite as sparkling or clear.  I immediately spoke out loud and told my son that I was comming to find him.  I was of course so excited that I could not go back to sleep.

On Saturday night I decided to give it a try again.  Twice, very close together, I got to the rumbling and vibrating state, I was very aware of the sensation, how long it lasted, where I felt it etc.  It was not as loud though and I was not able to maintain it long enough to exit my body again.  So I spent all day Sunday on the net reading up on OOB. I stayed up late on Suday and had to work or Monday, so I could not give it much effort on Sunday night.  On Monday night I was so tired from staying up to late on Sunday and working 15 hours on Monday to be aware enough to give it a shot. So last night, after sleeping much of yesterday I gave it a try again.

What I find is that it trying is physically exausting.  I need to stay alert while I sleep to remain lucid to give it a try when I am in the correct state, so I don't sleep well.  I can tell when I am close, and this often makes me too aware and brings me to a higher level of conciousness which is counter productive.  I did manage one long rumbling last night, at 1257, which I thought was going to be successful, but then thought I heard someone, that sounded a bit like my father but in a errie sort of way, call my name three times.  I wondered if this was a warning of some sort so I then woke up and never made it OOB.  My father lives 2000 miles away, and has some heart problems, so I then worried about him, but have not heard any bad news, so guess he is OK. 

So anyway, I guess what I need is: adive on how to relax enough to get out and how to relax when I am out to stay out, information or instruction that will help me build my traveling skills, instructions or a map of some sort that tells me where to go look for my son and how to get there, and if possible perhaps some suggestions that might make this a less exhausting expereince so that I can actually get some sleep while attempting to exit. 

I have really two goals, the first is to see my son and the second is to become more enlightened and develop a better understanding.  I know this is going to take practice patience and time to build the skills that I need to be successful in my quests.  I am totally motivated and willing to do whatever it takes but thought some adive from those who are expereinced might help decrease my learning curve.  I appreciate all  comments or suggestions.

Thank you

[CFTraveler]

Dear B.:
First of all, my condolences about the loss of your son.  I can't imagine a more painful experience than that.  I have a few comments and maybe an idea or two for you to try:
When my dad passed I was sure I would see him, since one of the things we had in common was interest in all things paranormal (both of us loved watching twilight zone, amazing stories, and stayed up late at night watching vampire movies and had long conversations about UFOs and ghosts, etc).  I was angry and felt somewhat betrayed because I didn't have one of those 'apparitions' that you read about in stories, or knocks in the night, especially since one of his favorite stories involved his dead uncle throwing rocks in his aunt's window at nighttime after he died....I felt he could have come up with some sort of signal to show me there really really was an afterlife and this wasn't all there was.  The first week after his death I did have dreams about him and I riding in a car.  I attributed this to the normal grieving process, and forgot about this.
About two years after he passed, I had this very vivid dream in which I went to this house which had a front porch.  I stood at the threshold of the porch, and in the porch itself, was my dad, his parents (who had passed over 10 years before) and others, some of which I recognized, some I didn't.  In this my dad told me that he had a very important thing to ask me to do.  Then he described a girl I had to help.  He told me that in a few months I'd get the news of what I had to do.  I had to go to her and help her take care of some things.  He was adamant she needed me at this time.   When the dream ended, I was baffled, and told my hubby about this.  About a month later, I received a letter from my long lost aunt, (his sister) wanting to reconcile.(Long story)  I wrote back, we began to correspond, and all was well between us after that.  About a year later I got a letter from my long lost cousin, who I hadn't seen since she was 10, due to a family feud that developed. (this was over 30 years ago, so I had forgotten about that part of the family.  I had not seen them in that time, so I had no idea what my cousin looked like, since we were both children when we last saw each other.)  It turned out my aunt died suddenly, and my cousin, having no other living relatives, was at a loss on what to do.  I called my siblings, some of which decided to go with me across the States to the West coast, and when we got there  I realized that this was the woman my dad had told me about.  Not only had he physically described her correctly, but the circumstances fit also.
She indeed needed help, not only in decisions needing to be made, but in the need you have for family in times like these, and her feeling estranged from the family through no fault of her own.  It was in that moment that I realized that it was really him that I saw that night, and he actually had something he needed me to do.
  So, I guess my message in this is that you there may be a reason that you haven't connected with him yet, and please don't ever feel discouraged, because he may be waiting for some circumstance you're not aware of for contact.  Perhaps something which can't be reinterpreted or debunked, like in my case.

Another thing, about the projection energy: Projecting takes a lot of energy, as you're finding out, not just for the loss of 'oblivious' sleep, but because the training to stay aware changes things in your consciousness.
My recommendation is that you get a good night's sleep, and every other day get up earlier than usual and try to project then.  You will already be sleepy, but rested, and the morning is the most 'abundant'? projection time, possibly because that's the time that the brain has more REM movements in the whole sleep period. I almost always project in the morning now and there's no need for relaxation exercises or any other stuff for prepping.
My blessings to you and here's to your success.
CF.