Its been 20 years, I feel infinitly(1) and nothing(0)

[funfire]

Wow it has been a cool ride. what is to come to truely understand what you are(consciousness). I was never able to accept I was conciousness because I was always trying to find the logic in all the maddness in people and the universe. I finnally understand though, why we are in what seems to be that exactly oppisate to that of the dream. I looked into particle physics to find the randomness that particles express. I looked into the macro into our universe, and wonder why it doesnt look random at all.... I then realized I was gravely mistaken. it is because the fastest thing we can see is light, this makes anything outside our solar system not 1=1 communication with the (relative)observer. this does including our close relative(solar systems), Like (Aplha Centauri) it is so close but the data we recieve from it will always be 4 years old. This means infinite unforseen problems beyond our solar sysetm. As people can see the univese expanding, we only see that, as we are only getting information from photons(light). This means that because we are not recieving information directly, from light, A true experience(experiencer) must go beyond that of just light(what is true nothingness?). as what it is to OBE/Dream is to create an envioment/ or the envioment creates a 1=1 relations ship with the observer(or)envioment. it is when one truly becomes lucid, one is in full control of their envioment. but I understand being lucid is now not the (exact) same as an OBE.
I would call what we live in a lucid experience. An envioment that confroms to my own intent, but i needed to find all logic then drop it to see what it was to be nothing. it was from the perspective of nothing/(no ego/you). However dropping my logic and myself, was the wrong step i found...... I needed to accept myself, and the deepest insanitys, in myself to see, I was really a good person. To understand now that I was a truely good person, I understand that everyone thought of themselves as the good person always(which is good but you can't learn by always being good, You have to love true evil to accept... well at least accept who I was.(I have never done anything like super bad btw( in the physical anyway..) I accepted myself, the insanity and the logic, and this is great! for what would be true enlightenment..... but its funny.... cause true enlightment was honestly a pretty halarious joke/and something extremely serious. You have to truely accept the truest evils in yourself to accept yourself,(as logically humans only did horrid things because they were in an envioment that encouraged their own awful behavior)(it was always out of the love of self(love of survival(love)) That anyone could love true evil as I can't see evil in what is just logical for anyone to do in their situation.)

It's more of like i've now stopped being lucid and im now just always in the OBE. as my imagination has infinity increased with my own acceptance of my own insanitys(just as i will still always accept all logic that this universe throws at me/us).

literally this experience is just so anyone can get enough disccomunication that, they wont kill themselves( as a halariously..but as extremely sad sucide is.... I know what its like to truely accept death.) for has one ever truely experience what it is to die? if u dont know then u havnt died yet...))) because of it, its that with the understanding of true discommunication you can understand true love, and  this helps form the best mind set to handle all discommunication that can only be handled be logical love.

if anyone couldn't understand this, i can always bring up our logical universe and then point to all illogic it comes from. be it human sciences or myself or any human condition). saying human sounds demeaning..... but I don't like to look at myself as (many people(or even just 1)  have no faith in.

sorry if it's hard to understand where im coming from. it is to rip all refrences from ones self to become the best refrence. as the only refrence anyone ever was....., was love....

I can say after 20 years I finally feel.. awake heh heh.... 





If anyone can get this refrence lol "I'm not a psychopath, im a high functioning sociopath." 




Last note (im fine btw) <<< just for anyone who didn't think I was fine. As I cant help but Infinitly worry about people, i need to put this out for anyone who, has those deep anxeitys. (I'm Fine)(you're fine)

LOVE

[Nameless]

I have no idea what you just said, lol. But I swear I loved your random ruminations. It does a body good to just say what comes to mind. I do that also and more often than not it leads around to exactly what I was trying to get at.

20 years is a long time! Would you do it again?

[funfire]

20 years is a long time! Would you do it again?

of course!