Death and the Family

[KP]

I'm not so sure on all of this realm stuff.  Dunno wether my family will be there after death.  I doubt it because I don't really consider myself with them now, even though I live with them.  The love is almost there, but it's more of an agreement, we're very seperate this way.  I've noticed that love is the same from anyone, anything... but the more genuine, the more pure it is, the stronger the love.  So whoever is there to love me after death won't be important, but I hope that some sort of love will be there.  

I am going through a little awakening at the moment, sometimes I seem to lose all love, become very helpless.  Death seems like the only friend during those times, but even death I don't know.  How can I love what I don't know?  And if I focus on what comes after it then I am just in love with imagination, because I don't know what is after it.  And I won't trust what others tell me.  Loving the family is important, I hope to love them more, but I don't think i'm ready yet... I haven't got enough love inside me to share.  I think that's what should be focused on first.  

Sorry, I went from death/family to love... but I think they're close.  Because death is usually feared, and you need love to transcend fear. So my guess is that the whole effort should be to bring death and love together.  Would that make sense, I wonder.

[Frank]

quote:Originally posted by Tisha

OK, the more I learn about OBE and the Otherworlds, the happier I am about dying.  Well, not dying so much, because dying can be unpleasant, but being DEAD isn't so bad.

Depends where you end up. People within the New Exchange Territories generally have a whale of a time. In a sense I can't wait.

quote:
Supposedly when we die, our loving ancestors are there to greet us.  That's great, if you have a loving family.  But what if people in your family are horrible and mean?  What if your father molested you, your mother abused you, and all your siblings hated you?  I know these mean people are wounded, not evil, etc. etc. etc.   Unfortunately however, I understand that icky people don't become nice people in the afterlife.  Icky people are who they are, alive or dead.

I think the word "family" is a potential source of confusion, here. People have two "families" while incarnate: a physical family and a non-physical family. It is members of your non-physical family who you'll generally find extending a hand during the passing over process.

Your physical family may have been chosen either for experience purposes, or through sheer necessity.

People such as myself, for example, who couldn't wait to leave home, needed some kind of "family" simply because children have to have someone to look after them until they are able to fend for themselves. My home was loving and basic; taught me all I needed to fend for myself; and I left as soon as I was able to do so.

As for purposes of experience, this can be a mix of circumstances.

People who have what they might say are "bad" experiences maybe chose to go through that just so they could appreciate the "good" all the more. Sounds weird, but it happens.

Potential incarnates can also get together and choose their physical-life experiences to a degree. I say "to a degree" because they are always subject to the laws of chance (free-will can thwart even the best laid plans). So these people may end up being the son or daughter of someone they previously knew while non-physical, for example.

Yours,
Frank

[Greytraveller]

Family unity in an afterlife must be dependant on a number of factors. Loving family members would most probably Want to be together. However, if people are unable to coexist now then why would they wish to remain together in a superphysical dimension/realm[?]
Anyways there are probably other factors involved. Religious preferance and degree of spiritual enlightenment are also good indications of compatibility.

[Person]

I think the main idea of meeting relatives just after death is to ease the transition, not purely to meet.  If seeing your dad would really offend you, then you won't see him at all.  Even if he's purified his spirit in the mean time, he'd understand and back off until the time is right.  Mean people do stay that way right after death, but they have an eternity to fix themselves.  If you don't like anyone in your family, then whoever was both closest to you and spiritually pure enough will be there to greet you (friend, friend's parent, etc).  You had a life before this one, and friends you don't recognize may be there.
I've heard of near death xp's where they don't see familiar faces at all, just something comforting like Jesus or angels.  It's whatever makes you happy.
I don't see the difference from natural parents and foster parents.  Teens can even reject their entire family and form one through their peers.  I don't think DNA is nearly as emportant as the emotional bond.
And to the last part - I've heard from many newage sources that everyone is a reflection of some part of us, and that somehow healing their problems will heal your hidden ones.  So if you're stuck with your family for now, it wouldn't hurt to try.  Otherwise, get out while you can.  

[Tisha]

OK, the more I learn about OBE and the Otherworlds, the happier I am about dying.  Well, not dying so much, because dying can be unpleasant, but being DEAD isn't so bad.  

Supposedly when we die, our loving ancestors are there to greet us.  That's great, if you have a loving family.  But what if people in your family are horrible and mean?  What if your father molested you, your mother abused you, and all your siblings hated you?  I know these mean people are wounded, not evil, etc. etc. etc.   Unfortunately however, I understand that icky people don't become nice people in the afterlife.  Icky people are who they are, alive or dead.

I'm posting this topic because a lot of people can relate to estrangement from their families.   Especially if we are of a mystical bent and our families are judgmental.  

When I die, many of my ancestors will still be stuck in the Lower Realms or Really Judgmental Belief systems (fire, brimstone, the whole lot).  Many will be stuck in abandonment/fear/rage loops.  One of them is darkly obsessed with my sexuality and I know I'll have to deal with him on the Astral if I'm so unlucky to let him attach to me. Eyoook, that's another question for another time.

Fortunately, every family probably has at least ONE ancestor who makes it to the Higher Realms!  I can't imagine anyone dying and having no-one to meet them.  I bet sometimes it's a very remote ancestor, though.

I have a dear friend who is a Wiccan High Priest who often speaks at conferences about otherworldly matters.  "People who know I've been to the Otherworld often ask me about the meaning of life, he says.  "Well, I tell them.  The meaning of life is to REDEEM YOUR FAMILY LINE ! ! !"   It's all about the River of Blood, he says, about bloodlines.  We are One with our families, like it or not, so get to work on it in THIS lifetime, because there is no escaping it! (and he should talk.  A white gay Witch married to a black gay Witch, he's had to deal with a LOT of crap from his family).

My Wiccan friend insists that NOW is the time to work on our families, while we're still in the World of Form.   Don't wait until death, because it's harder when you're dead, if you die with bad feelings about your family.  

Which brings me to my point (I started this essay with a question, but I'm actually answering it myself).   When I die, and hopefully make it to F27, where I've set up my peaceful personal space, etc., there will still be the matter of my Family, who is also Me.  For the sake of the Whole, I'm going to have to venture into those Lower Realms to get all those wounded people.   Man, am I going to be busy.

And wait - - - many of these wounded people are still here in the world of Form, with me.  I've got a family reunion in three weeks.  Again: Man, am I going to be busy.  As above, so below . . .