godlike experience

[Demigod]

It's time to share the experience I had last year, somewhere at august, when my life took dramatic change. I lost all I had back then and every opportunity seemed to go wrong. So at this moment depression was taking over and one night filled with emotion I hardly fell asleep, asking whatever "higher" being/-s that could hear me, where will my path go.. I asked for my path to be shown clearly. When I fell asleep I dreamed lots of short random scenes not making any sense, just going on and on as it usually happens in dreams when you're just watching them without taking any conscious act. Then one of the scenes took me in a strange place with sort of a stairway and two kind-of monks standing on both sides at the top where the stairs lead. I didn't take any actions, just turned around to continue the random flow of different scenes. All of a sudden I was like pulled back to the place with those monk-like beings and stairs with a powerful blow. Everything came crystal clear and I saw the scene in such a great detail like I've seen in my most colorful lucid dreams, or in OBE's, which I experienced much later after this. It wasn't an ordinary dream no more. I was standing in front of abyss and steps made of stone, covered in moss, hanging over and leading a way to the other side, where those two powerful beings were standing symmetrically on both sides. Both dressed in brown robes, holding hands like when a prayer is done. I felt like there is nothing else I could ran away from it, nor avoid at any other way. I felt a strong awe towards their presence and like following an instinct I put my hands together like them and showed them humility, cause facing them felt very disturbing. It wasn't that they would seem evil or meaning any harm, but the presence was truly godlike and speechless. They spoke to me in a telepathic manner and they spoke both like in unison, but yet like only one. They were absolutely identical, symmetrical in their looks and spoke as one. They told me to count the steps. And then I realized that the only way how to count them was by taking those steps, cause they shifted and changed forms as I took each one of them. They grew out of nowhere, some disappeared, some of them even made no sense and I stepped over some smaller ones. I counted them 8. When I came to the 8th, the strong blow hit me again in my chest and I was pulled back at the first step instantly. They told me to count again. So I took the steps once more and now they were 7. It seemed to be right, or whatever, now, so I was standing between both on the other side of the abyss where something like a last step was been held between them with a strange symbol on it. It was constantly changing like a ball of energy taking different shapes. What I recognized in it's different forms was something like an armor. Didn't make much sense anyway, but the symbolical energy ball was sparkling in yellow-green colors and I felt irresistible, magnetic desire reaching it. Not a word followed from them both and as i entered the sparkling energy, it worked like a portal and everything fell down in the abyss, disappearing in all surrounding blackness. I was nowhere and there was absolutely nothing. I was not standing on a ground anymore, cause there was not one. I just was in nothing. I didn't even know how to feel about it. Then a ring of light appeared, slowly spinning around me. I was in the middle of it and it had different symbols attached to it, just like the one I entered. I followed my instincts and "chose" from them. But it happened so naturally, like I knew what am I doing, yet not understanding what and why. So two symbols - a fire and an eye were highlighted and chosen. The ring disappeared and I was set on fire. I was burning and starting to feel fear in the blackness surrounding me. The only way I could stop the fear was by burning harder. I expanded as I did that and felt a power not known to a man. I was all that there was and the only thing that was there to stop me was nothing. The feeling expanding and growing bigger and stronger gave me an extreme pleasure, and still it happened through a fear from the nothing. And then I woke up. And I still remember it in every detail like it would happened yesterday.

[Darklon]

Interesting read, I found it inappropriate you had no replies thus far so I have a question. Do you believe you are a demigod?

[Ident]

It sounds as though you tapped into the energy stream around us all. Maybe you should start trying to feel and work with energy.

[Chaos Mage]

I don't know what to make of that.  I can 'see' the images as I read through the post, yet without any feeling attributed to it at all, so I don't know if I'm seeing the same thing.

Are you young?
I know I had a very powerful 'godlike experience' when I was just a child.  I won't get into it here, but the feeling was incredible.

Perhaps you are experiencing something from a past life, what with these monks and such?  Were you ever burned alive?  I don't know, I just need somewhere to post at.  Sorry.  I can't help you.

[Demigod]

Interesting read, I found it inappropriate you had no replies thus far so I have a question. Do you believe you are a demigod?

I have no doubt about it! Especially since the experience that is written up there^

[Xanth]

We're all gods.
We're all constantly creating the realities we experience.

... and I don't just mean while dreaming. 

[Bedeekin]

As long as we don't take the 'god' tag too literally.

[Xanth]

As long as we don't take the 'god' tag too literally.

It's just another label with a lot of loaded baggage to it.  I agree.

When we recognize that we're *ALL* gods, the label "god" automatically loses all meaning.
It's like being "special"... how special is it to be special if EVERYONE is special? 

[Demigod]

As in this case, it was meant more like awareness of being a part of "god".

"A demigod (or demi-god), meaning half-god, is originally a Greek mythological figure whose one parent was a god and whose other parent was human;[1] as such, demigods are human-god hybrids" (wiki)

No problem with that.

And I didn't mention one little detail about the experience. Although I think the extreme emotional state of that particular time was the key to get "in there", I did an interesting prayer to a candle fire before. Sometimes it comes to my mind, that my "enlightenment" at the moment I was set aflame could come from the spirit of fire I did my prayer to, as I did covet it's vigor and vitality. My life, too, soon, was pushed to extreme, in it's positive aspect, when I took a job as a bartender and spent endless nights of chaos, breathing that fire and pushing myself to the limit, til only a half a year ago I dropped it, as I was finally exhausted from that intensity.

...and still can't find that peace of mind. Something awaits me and won't let me rest.