Hello dear fellow explorers, I would like to share another recent AP. Again in the morning, with two parts.
It feels to me that I am experienceing small step-by-step incremental learning. For example, I think that this time there is some progress with being more in control of my movements :)
And it also feels that lots of various testing is occurring for me. This is quite exciting and I am curious what comes next :)
My notes are in [] brackets.
"Sun 15.9.24
5:30-6:30am meditation:
I prime on my back. I try to focus on the top of the crown while observing the visuals. I perceive I'm lacking focus today. I can see only the central whitish swirl and tunnels. I keep losing it.
After some time, I turn to my right side.
At some point (on my back or possibly side) I fall asleep very briefly(?)
Vibrations come very soon in a slow manner from the front into the full body. I breathe into them and they intensify.
I try to focus on putting thumbs in my eye sockets [based on information received in the last meditation] but it seems it is not happening.
I feel my jaw has relaxed open and my tongue slipped out between my teeth. The teeth are pressing on my tongue painfully and I try to adjust the tongue back inside but I don't want to lose the vibrations state so I settle for the upper half of the teeth closed to keep the tongue half in. I also notice I'm drooling. [Not confirmed - jaw closed, no drooling so I assume this was all my second/etheric body][I think this might have been a test to see if I could persevere through this distraction like the mosquito might have been in the previous meditation]
I refocus and feel the vibrations and try to breathe into them. I control their intensity with breathing.
I follow the visuals and see myself going deeper as if downwards into a white light on the bottom left of my field of view.
It feels as if an older woman's voice is telling me 'good luck, and to focus'.
Part 1
I emerge in blackness zooming fast above a path made of squared white tiles. They're different shades of white and some slightly yellowish. I follow the path while I wonder what to do with this. While I follow the path I see a small bright square tile to the left side of the path and zoom to it with the intent to help it. But I realise it's already bright. I zoom back to the main path, follow it. I zoom above to gain a bigger picture and see two sides of 'continents' with a line connecting them surrounded by blackness. I zoom to the path again and follow it more. I try to slow down and do, and I hover above one tile and think to go through the tile to the other side and do. I see the tiles from the bottom with a different as if shady light as if less light was filtering through the tiles to the bottom side. I go back to the top side again.
[This is a very nice show of control of movement by will. Much better than the senseless zoomings of the past where for example on one occasion I crashed through some stars/lights in the black void as an elephant in a glass store :-D ]
Part 2
I'm back in the original vibrations state. I again aim to adjust the tongue back behind the teeth. [I think this is the same test as described above]
Next I zoom in a narrow space between two high walls of small beautifully rainbow-coloured square tiles in black background. I adjust to fly between the walls so they are vertical.
Very soon I fly from the top into a labyrinth with only one way through it. I hear as if instructions that 'students will be released into it in regular intervals and we cannot help each other or "they" would know'. [again "they" suggesting of teachers and tests]
In the labyrinth in a whitish corridor I'm zooming through and suddenly I see a man standing there who surprises me. It seems a bit like a whitish corridor of locker rooms. He seems to also be surprised. I fly above him to bypass him. As I fly above I wonder that I didn't know this would be allowed in the test because it lets us gain a bigger picture overview of the paths. I zoom down into the labyrinth again and onwards.
I have a flashback to the man cornering me between the lockers or to me engaging with him, in a forced or voluntary manner. [as is becoming noticeable, each thought is instantly created as a scene] [suggesting fear or lust response or thoughts in my flashback, so I think I might have failed the test somehow by not staying in control][possibly this potential test might be connected to my past catalysts of experiencing sexual harassment and also my own lustful behaviours]
I wonder if I failed the test and I quickly imagine the occurrence as a picture in a frame and I imagine hanging the frame on the wall above the locker rooms. [this is either succeeding in the test by showing ability to control environment by will or failing the test by disposing of the evidence]
In the end, I don't know whether I failed the test as my son arrives into the physical bedroom, I nod to his question but I also feel it's the time to end the meditation. I repeat the key words of the experiences to help the recall. I confirm no drool and tongue safely behind the teeth. I take notes."
I would be happy to receive your thoughts :)
I would agree that "encounters" appear to be a test of sorts. They seem strategically placed and occur out of nowhere. Is it a test to go forward and feel comfortable doing so or is it a test to decline temptation? Is it really possible to know that answer fully? The things I rely on to size up who I am dealing with is my intuition and do I get the feeling I have known this being forever in spirit or is she a random NPC just tempting me for my energy. I heard this quote once and it made me laugh, that the latter often look at us as a mere "happy meal".
Dear Frostytraveler,
this encounter with a male entity I felt was a test because of my real life catalyst I have had to process on my spiritual path (various sexual attacks in public over the years) but also my sexual nature. So in my "flashback" (my thoughts turned into action) I experienced both being attacked as well as being lustful. It might have been some kind of test of how I currently stand with masculine energy in a simple response to my flashback thoughts in the labyrinth environment. The labyrinth was white so non-threatening. The entity I presume might have been some training "aspect".
There were other seeming tests too. The sequential release of students into the labyrinth, the not helping each other. The voice of a female older person wishing me good luck. Also the part where my second body was distracting me with the tongue/jaw.
I appreciate your comments <3
I think your second post analysis is likely accurate but some meditation specifically on this experience might show further insight. Very personal issues here.
Wondering whether it was a pass or fail, I think it was a success. Beyond the nuances only you can determine, I see the experience having played out and ending not abruptly, but in a more natural transition...so I think success. It did leave you with a complex emotional, personal history question...but I like the image of 'hanging the picture on a wall in the locker room', like you recognize the memory/issue but it belongs in a finite space/memory (the picture) left in the locker room (a personal space outside of our public operating environment).
Another great experience demonstrating the degree of internal work you are doing!
Quote from: BarboraD on September 24, 2024, 14:59:01Dear Frostytraveler,
this encounter with a male entity I felt was a test because of my real life catalyst I have had to process on my spiritual path (various sexual attacks in public over the years) but also my sexual nature. So in my "flashback" (my thoughts turned into action) I experienced both being attacked as well as being lustful. It might have been some kind of test of how I currently stand with masculine energy in a simple response to my flashback thoughts in the labyrinth environment. The labyrinth was white so non-threatening. The entity I presume might have been some training "aspect".
Hi, first I commend you on your bravery sharing such personal experiences with us. As a person who has also suffered past trauma, I feel that your experiences are your mind-body trying to process the awful things that happened, in order to heal.
Also adding that there seems to be some connection with the sacral/base chakra and AP/OBE. Have you read the book, "The Body Keeps the Score?" It's about trauma and where it stores pain as muscle memory in the body. Maybe there's a sacral chakra block in connection with what you went through?
Just some random evening thoughts. Hope they help!