Astral projection, sleep paralysis, and my BIZARRE experiences. Help please?

[Fairywindblues]

I'm not a regular on these threads. Thing is, I've avoided talking about my experiences because, the people I do tell, look at me like I'm a bit nutty in the head-- even the metaphysical buffs. So, here's the gist. I am not looking for attention, and I will tell you how things happened, as they happened. If things sound nutty, then they sound nutty, and I will declare myself a nut. Alright then.  

I'm 22 years old. When I was 16 or 17, I learned of astral projection but found it very hard to project through meditation. I, however, am a great lucid dreamer and the only ways I've ever projected have been through dreams. I often become lucid and I don't always reach the higher level consciousness of the astral plane, but, I like to think I'm in a higher plane of the... dream plane? Such a thing exist? Anywho.

I once had this dream that I was just wandering around among a bunch of very simple clay houses. I was wearing jeans, a t shirt, and clothes that I didn't even own. Clothes of my own imagination. At this point, I'd say I was 20% lucid. My dream self wandered into a clay house and saw a beautiful woman with long brown hair. But her face was fuzzy. Like I said, it's a dream, and my dreams are very hazy and not in crisp detail until I become more lucid.

So, I see this woman. There's a bed in the room, and there's this huge window in the center of the room. I walk in. The woman kindly asks me what I want. 40% lucid. I blatantly told her that I wanted to astral project out of the dream and into a higher reality. She then pointed to the bed and told me to stare out of the window until I "flew out of it"

She said this could only be done by will, and by concentration, and by the sheer desire and want of it. So, I got on the bed, and my dream self, all hazy, in an outfit I didn't even own, stared out of this window and tried to project out of it. I don't know why the guide was there, per se, since she didn't say too much. She guided me into doing what I already knew I had to do. Makes sense? She just sat there, smiling, while I concentrated every ounce of my being on flying out of this window like a birdie. 70% lucid.

Then, I take a sudden jump from 70% to 100%. Suddenly, it's no longer in what I call "dream sense". You know how I sometimes tell between a dream and reality in my lucid dreams? Dreams always have a synthetic sort of feeling to everything. Sight, touch, smell, taste. When I dream, I sometimes stop to touch things and ask myself if it feels real or not. So, I can tell when something feels "real" in the third dimension, and when something feels real in the dream plane.

So, I took a sudden jump to 100% awareness. What came was... a very physical feeling. You know that feeling you get when you're falling asleep and you jump very suddenly? Well, it's like that feeling, only it was kind of like... standing at the edge of a cliff and having someone push you off the edge, and falling, falling, falling, into abyss, while simultaneously doing cartwheels and somersaults in midair. I felt like I did three in a row. Like I just WHOOOOSHED in a spiral. I felt wind. Like I said, very physical. Beyond the senses of the third dimension, even. I whooshed out of the window and was literally floating in a blue sky. Nothing below me, nothing above, but blue. A blue that was more rich than any blue here on earth. It had a bouncing aura and was deeper than the richest blue on the color spectrum. The sky, instead of twinkling with stars, looked like it twinkled with tiny reflective crystal particles. That seemed alive. Oh, and here's why I keep mentioning clothes. I was wearing my old kitty nightshirt! It was even torn in the same place. And my skin, had this pastel yellow aura around it, followed by a top layer of pastel blue. Both colors resonating next to each other, all around me. My skin glowed. My vision, which in this life, is absolutely horrid, was beyond perfect vision in this world. I flew around for a bit but my fear of heights eventually brought me back to my body after a while.

I always wondered -- who was the woman in my dream? A thought form, a spirit guide, my higher self, an angel?

Was it even astral projection?

I was also wondering if this was astral projection.

A while ago, I woke up from a dreamless night. I sometimes don't dream at all. My clock read 11:00 a.m. exactly. I opened my eyes, and I seemed well rested. Not tired at all. A minute or two went by so it was 11:02 or 11:03 by now. I closed my eyes for a moment just to get literally 30 seconds of shut eye. My alarm was set for 11:00 and 11:05 because that's when I needed to be up. So, I'd know if I dozed off for several minutes. I only had a two to three minute interval there before my phone alarm would go off again.

So, anyways, I had just woken up, and after a minute or two, I decided to close my eyes for 30 seconds or so.

Suddenly, a few seconds went by, and I was standing in my driveway. 360 view, like a camera. Head bobbing up and down, looking up and around the street. Ooooh, very crisp and clear and life-like! And the clarity is just great. I walked around the outside of my house and then decided to walk in the house. House looked same as usual.

I decided to just wake up because I was running late for class at this point. Could this have been sleep paralysis? By the way, by the time I woke up, my timer had not even rang at 11:05 yet. So my eyes were closed momentarily, but it felt like several minutes on the astral plane. Make sense?

Anyhow. On to the next topic at hand... sleep paralysis and the astral body. Do they go hand in hand like I think? Is your astral body active when you're in sleep paralysis?

I'm 22 and I've had sleep paralysis 20-25 times. I lose count. And some were so brief, for only a few seconds, that I don't count them.

I've had the typical sleep paralysis experiences. Waking up, not being able to move, or scream, hallucinating, fear of death, going out of your mind. You name it, I've had it. I have seen everything from an animated goblin-fairy-gnome-teddy bear like creature dancing around my room to seeing shadows on the walls to simply hearing random sounds around my room. So, I wasn't a newbie to sleep paralysis. I've had experiences where I've even been able to detach one limb in sleep paralysis, and wave it around while my 3D one lay still, making me appear to have three of them. So, when I sensed something was majorly wrong, it was wrong. And boy, was it wrong.

How can I explain this without sounding absolutely insane? I don't know. I honestly don't know! For five years, I've not spoken about this much, because my family has called me a nutter every time I tell this story. And I'm tired of it. So, I'm telling people that I sense are a bit more open minded...

I'm gonna give it to you straight. Crazy nuttiness and all. I woke up with sleep paralysis one morning, I looked around, and I felt.... different. Like I've NEVER felt before, IRL, in a dream, or anywhere else. My imagination couldn't even conceive of the feelings that I was feeling.

I woke up feeling like a hollow tree. Like I had no soul. It sounds crazy, but that's what came to my mind, as I was laying there with sleep paralysis. "I feel like my soul is gone" because I truly felt hollow. It's a very strange sensation, one that is almost as difficult as describing the sense of sight to a person who has been blind their whole lives. But basically, the blood in my veins felt hollow. I felt empty, somehow. Empty in my chest, empty in my lungs, empty in my veins, empty in my bones. I felt less dense, and just, hollow inside. I felt like a pumpkin that someone just scooped the insides out of.

But now, here's the scary part. I started to feel... what I *think* was my astral body returning. I didn't see it, but, I felt it bobbing up and down over me for a second, until it started to merge with me. And by merge, it literally felt like my insides were being gutted. You know how you see those cartoons where some evil scientist creates some machine to merge two people into one? And when he zaps them, they look like they're in a torturous amount of pain? Yeah, that's how I felt. And I couldn't even scream.

Basically, at first, I started feeling this pressure all over. The hollow feeling, the emptiness, was still there, but now there was a new sensation. Burning. Pain. Lava. Fire. Fire in my veins, fire on my skin, fire in every atom. I'm on fire! It hurt so badly! But the crazy thing is, that the blood in my very veins felt like it turned into lava. I felt that lava flowing, in what felt like an ever so slow motion, through my veins. My skin felt like it was being torched. The fiery blood in my veins burned like the fires of hell. It hurt and burned like the fires of hell.

But here's the really crazy part. I am not capable of that kind of PHYSICAL pain. I would go into shock. It felt physical, the pain, but metaphysical at the same time. It felt like it was my spirit that was bearing the pain, but my body's brain was interpreting it -- so technically, I was never actually hurting. Or, I could be wrong? It felt like pure fire inside of you, on you, and engulfing you. But yet, somehow, you're also able to bare it. To tolerate it. To survive being burned alive. Being burned alive.

I woke up. The hollow feeling was gone. I'm back in my body. I got up, sat up, and sobbed for 15 minutes.

And to this day, I am haunted by that day, and I just need answers. Someone told me I've had black magic cast upon me or experienced a demonic assault. To me, it simply felt like my soul was gone and I was physically empty and gutted, and then it followed by the fires of hell raging within my body and on my skin. If you tell me I merely hallucinated it, the pain, then I will be okay with that answer.

[Bedeekin]

You hallucinated that pain. 

See I said it but I bet you don't agree with me.

Seriously... I wonder if I was to feel the same thing... would I describe it the same. This is part of the problem of trying to relate to specific body and mind sensations when it comes to this 'phenomenon'. Some people describe some of the most subtle parts of SP that I otherwise wouldn't... and it isn't until they describe theirs that I think... "yeah... I know what they mean"

It's like 4 different people get cut by a scalpel.

One might say "The BLADE... oh god... the shining bright SHARP blade FLASHED in my eyes. So razor sharp... Like a sharks tooth... I hate blades.. they chill me to the bone... I fainted"

another might say "THe BLOOD was horrible and the excruciating pain was like a red hot poker being thrust into my skin... I was afraid I might bleed to death"

Another might say "It was painless overall... I felt a sharp nick but I didn't really think it was that bad"

One might say.. "I got of on it... I love pain"

Like this... SP is so subjective and yet intimately connected to the nonphysical and subconscious that every part of it can mean different things to different people.

You described in excruciating detail how painful and like red hot lava it was... yet at the same time you weren't actually hurting. You interpreted a certain way that it was using metaphors and similes. I was there with you...  you described what returning SP can feel like so well.
Using descriptives like it felt as though your soul returning and you felt hollow is indicative of the nonphysical and ultimately subconsciously creative state of SP and how your fear can build and build and if the conditions are right can manifest as reality... or as close to reality as you can get.

Black magic.. demonic assault... Phaaa!!!

Once you latch onto any sort of negative feeling it will take on form and utterly true meaning... that will intensify and build into a crescendo of 'whatever' it was you were thinking of.

Sometimes SP is fleeting... sometimes it is mild... sometimes it feels like you are locked within it, unable to escape... it can be exquisite or it can be 'painful'. You were frightened... your physical body released adrenalin... this in turn was felt coursing through your heart and spread throughout your body and muscles, who's nerves were essentially deactivated but still allowed empathic feedback. You were feeling you electrical nerve impulses. You were however essentially still nonphysical. So you were removed from your physical self... you had a feeling of 'duality' and were experiencing it from the perspective of your nonphysical/higher self/astral body... whatever metaphor you wish to use.

Does this make any sense whatsoever?

If you tell me I'm talking crap... Then I will be okay with that answer. 

[astralnaut1]

wow sounds amazing! talking about pain i once felt it during SP and it was my left hands finger i got injured during basketball game.

[Fairywindblues]

Gee, thanks for the replies guys. More replies are more than welcome! I'm still on the search for answers.

Yes, in SP, I did feel a very distinct emptiness that one could only describe as the absence of their astral body.

My consciousness was in my physical body, but my physical body, felt like it literally was devoid of its spiritual counterpart.

When I felt my counterpart returning and merging with me, that's when the painful hallucination started. So, my astral body, morphing back into my spiritual body, seemed... slow, and painful, to me.

Was the pain related to my astral self coming back? I never knew you could hallucinate pain in SP to this degree. In fact, I've spent years typing in key words to google search like "Sleep paralysis and pain" or "sleep paralysis and burning" and usually someone will mention a painful SP episode but maybe only in one part of the body, or a much milder experience than what I had....

So I was basically dual, as Bedeekin said? If so, then I have some more questions.

1) The astral body and the consciousness in my body (me) are ultimately two different entities, but are both one of the same, correct?

My physical (ego) was in the body but felt the hollowness and absence of the astral self and panicked.

My astral (higher self) probably rushed to my rescue, sensing that I had woken up very abruptly in REM sleep. Like I said, though, the hollowness and emptiness was there. It wasn't until I felt the pressure, and the overall presence, and entity of my astral self bobbing up and down above me (not seen to my naked eye) that I started feeling that metaphysical, hallucination of pain and sheer fire.

2) This may be a rather odd question. But, of all the times I've had SP, I've NEVER had this feeling of hollowness, or pain, or burning, or feeling lighter and soulless, like my astral body was still out there, wandering.

In my other SP episodes, I always felt all there, or mostly all there. Certainly not empty and missing my astral body. It just seems like out of the 25 times or so that this happened, I really want to know why my astral/higher self chose to just... lag behind so long. I was laying there feeling hollow and empty for what seemed like a long time until I felt myself returning.

Does the astral self realize that the body is in such distress and returns?

It's so strange thinking that I (my higher self) was out there lolly gagging while me (the ego, as I am in the now) was stuck in bed, having this horrendous nightmare of an experience. I almost want to ask.... myself.... why I did that. 

The whole duality consciousness thing always blew my mind.

Is my higher self me, in the far future, where I've ascended or reached a higher level of enlightenment? Since time doesn't exist and all, but is an illusion in itself. Meaning, I already knew what would happen, and I planned this experience out on purpose so that I could still be here, five years later, musing about it?

So many questions.

[Bedeekin]

"1) The astral body and the consciousness in my body (me) are ultimately two different entities, but are both one of the same, correct?"

They are the same entity.. YOU. Imagine you are like an avatar in a computer simulation like Second Life or SIMS. You are able to access the CPU that creates the entire simulation including yourself. That is a very very basic analogy or metaphor for what has been learned. Everything else... the feeling of splitting off and being in two places at the same time... Physical and nonphysical is just an illusion. Everything is a metaphor... not a meaningless metaphor though. This isn't a reductionist theory nor does it mean that it doesn't mean anything.

You are always your astral higher self. It's a top-down relationship. Your lower self.. or physical self is experiencing and living life... your top/higher self is the USER the one who is experiencing it and learning from your actions... as are you yourself. Confusing?

Emptyness and a sense of nakedness or hollowness is quite common for me... especially on a return SP - one after coming out of an OOBE/LD.


"2) This may be a rather odd question. But, of all the times I've had SP, I've NEVER had this feeling of hollowness, or pain, or burning, or feeling lighter and soulless, like my astral body was still out there, wandering. "

I have SP thousands of times... thousands. Out of all these times I can remember many where I felt a hollowness or emptiness coupled with panic and a massive sense of detachment. But like I said on my previous post... I just don't use the metaphor you do "having a sense of your soul returning to your aware body"

When you day dream you are performing a very basic version of AP. Your attention drifts into noticing your nonphysical self acting out your daydream. When you shift back after someone attracts your attention you suddenly snap out of it.. .you focus back to your physical reality. There is NO soul or actual self leaving or vacation you... just your focused attention. This is the same for AP and dreaming.

Your higher self is you NOW... as you are you NOW. You are a filtered version of your higher self.

[Fairywindblues]

That actually made sense.

Recently, I've come to the conclusion that everything is indeed holographic and an illusion, just interpreted by our physical brains. The spirit is the driver but the body is the avatar.

I reckon the pain I felt was just an illusion, because my brain was very confused. Moreso confused than during any SP episode I've ever had. I suppose any sane person would panic if they felt that detached and out of tune with themselves. Like an animated corpse.

[Bedeekin]

You may never feel that sensation during SP again.. or you may.

People who don't realise what SP is can end up getting so frightened they need to see a psychiatrist... what do you think sent thousands of americans to sleep regression therapy during the 90's thinking they were being abducted by aliens?

There are websites totally devoted to SP management.

It's quite tragic and almost amusing that those who 'suffer' from SP hate it and would do anything for it to leave their lives... and then there are those that want it in the form of the Vibrational State to achieve an Out of Body Experience and welcome it with all their heart.

Something is wrong there.

I especially become angry when doctors prescribe drugs to stop it. When I started getting SP when I was 11 years old my GP waved me home with a course of Inderal LA.. which is a 'Beta Blocker' that my dad was also using at the time to curb his high blood pressure.    I gave them to him.

[Astralzombie]

It's so hard to make a post after Bedeekin and try to improve or state anything clearer. So without trying to muddy the water too much, I can try to explain how I feel about the same experience.  All we can do is find common experiences and relate our own feelings to them.

You want to know if your nutty? Yeah probably, I mean I hope so, that's what makes life fun. Are you insane? My limited opinion is no. No way, no how. Remember that an insane person can not recognize that they are indeed insane.

Now I believe that physical pain in the Astral or whatever you choose to call it, is very, very unusual. At least it is to me. I have only felt sensations that my consciousness interpreted as odd. Mental pain is again subjective but I have absolutely been mentally anguished in the Astral. No two consciousness will ever agree on how something makes them feel in any reality, this one or another. But in the Astral especially, what we see is for us to personally grow.

Permit me an overly  dramatic example: We  could be side by side in the Astral and if we both see a child being hurt in some horrific way, it is only because this experience is meant to help us both grow but IN OUR OWN WAY.

I would probably be confused and sad because I can not relate this to any experience that I have seen or felt or how it could be helpful in any manner.

You may laugh and say' "Oh, now I get it. Why didn't I realize this sooner?"

Of course this mutually shared experience will affect us both in our own way. But you needed to see it now because it will help you understand a prior issue. I needed to see it now, because it will help me understand something tomorrow. But we both needed a dramatic jolt to make us understand. Does that make sense?

Remember that we will never see, feel, or experience anything that we can't handle. The exception is when we scare ourselves and even this has some purpose. And why that is, we're all trying to find out. 

Thank you.

[Bedeekin]

It's so hard to make a post after Bedeekin and try to improve or state anything clearer.

Oh god... don't say that. It's a forum full of different experiences. It's the personal points of view that make it work as a teaching aid to others and each other.

[Astralzombie]

Oh god... don't say that. It's a forum full of different experiences. It's the personal points of view that make it work as a teaching aid to others and each other.

Have you not seen the size of your brain in your avatar? You're just being modest.

[Bedeekin]

It's all fat and gristle.