I'm posting this neg. not to spread fear, but because it is similar or the same as many 'hell' NDEs I've read about, and maybe I (and others) could gain perspective on this type of afterlife phenomenon.
I was doing a conscious exit and experienced a few fearful thoughts as it was happening. (I sometimes have fearful thoughts if I'm very awake-not groggy-during my exit.) When I crossed over, the first thing I instantly noticed was the energy in the place was rough, gritty, and uncomfortable. I thought, 'yuck.' Then, as best as I can describe, I literally 'became rage.' My rage wasn't directed at anyone. I WAS rage itself. 'I' as I had known myself was gone. My will and personality just weren't there --at least for about 30 sec. or so--and then I would experience just a little of my old self and will momentarily, and then it would be gone again. My 'rage' self was very primal. I actually roared several times, as what I was just couldn't be contained. When I did experience a little of my old self and will, my will just wasn't strong enough to try to escape my situation. It was too weak to even try--just went along with the flow. I once remember thinking, when I had a glimmer of my old personality back, 'This is what I am now.'
Then Things began to change when I realized that there was an entity clinging to my back. His hands were around my ribs and were causing me pain in that area. This realization somehow brought my will and old personality fully on line. The rage self was gone, and I set to work trying to remove his hands from me. For the first time, I was able to use my will to try to escape my situation. Then I was back in the physical.
This experience was very much like 'hell' NDEs such as when a depressed person commits suicide and then describes her situation as 'I wasn't just depressed--I became depression.' Also when people describe the hell they're in this way. 'The people in this place could leave any time, they just didn't realize it because they were so self absorbed.' I feel I have now experienced what these people are talking about. It is basically a loss of their will, and what is left over is some form of negative energy. For those of you who have read Proof of Heaven by Eben Alexander, I see the similarity to his earth worm's eye view experience. --primordial, and loss of his will and personality, not realizing for a long time that he could escape his situation.
Experienced projectors, what are your thoughts? Interpretation? Why did it happen? etc.
Some more background info. I'm not an angry/rage filled person. I let go of anger easily--don't hold grudges. I am forgiving. I did lose patience with my daughter a few times the week prior to the experience. --a momentary 'snap.' I usually am patient but I do remember that week losing it a few times. And then there were the few fearful thoughts during my exit...
My afterlife beliefs--these are flexible beliefs-- probable life review with spiritual help and direction from our guides...as far as where we will reside? --like attracts like. Then possible reincarnation at some point.
After this experience, I wasn't scared to project again or anything. I took it in stride. Before this experience I have had several that were the exact opposite where I became pure love. The love experiences are dominant, and this one was the exception, so it didn't make me feel like I was headed for hell or anything. Lol.
You'll get many experiences over time when you become an emotion. I've posted an experience called 'New Jericho' where negs took me back to a particularly nasty emotional state I experienced many times in the 70's during clairvoyant dreams.
Your experience may be teaching you to overcome the negative aspects by placing you there and leaving you to work a resolution.
You couldn't do this within the emotional first person state (being totally enveloped) but could the instant you formed a link to your memories of negs jumping on the back of people (third person perspective) and doing their stuff.
You solved the issue and then woke up.
When you reflect on things trying to recall memories or similar you slightly phase out of the environment you are in. This allows you to become more of your physical personality and less involved with the physics of the environment you're experiencing.
Fear being the main self realisation kick, gives you control. This control in a nightmare situation is used to wake up completely. We all have done this. In the NP you can phase out of the environment to dissspear from view or gain an advantage over the indigenous lifeforms. At first this wakes you, controlled, nothing can stop you. You're self aware and mostly in total control.
Getting to this state of mind isn't always available. Like the experience you had and mine within NJericho, there's that being trapped and incapacitated bit to resolve initially. Not easy at times
Lol
You did very well in this experience. Perhaps you too may get sent on a mission. It would be great to see a post added to 'souly for retrievals' from you. :wink:
The feel is important.
Any questions ask.
Quote from: Szaxx on April 13, 2014, 05:04:17
Fear being the main self realisation kick, gives you control. This control in a nightmare situation is used to wake up completely. We all have done this. In the NP you can phase out of the environment to dissspear from view or gain an advantage over the indigenous lifeforms. At first this wakes you, controlled, nothing can stop you. You're self aware and mostly in total control.
Thanks, Szaxx. That all makes sense except I have a question about the above 'fear' part. Are you saying that having fear would have been a good thing and would have helped me gain control? I don't remember experiencing fear--maybe just a touch--but then again I have really worked hard at deprogramming myself from feeling fear, believing it is always the enemy in the NPR. Did I do myself a disservice by pushing away fear, my natural defense?
Not at all, you've progressed above it, very commendable.
It's a built in primal defense, think about picking up a pan handle that's very hot, you instinctively let go.
I started a topic on nightmares to try to show this fear control method in action, I think it was too much for many to try.
It really helped me in my early days as I learned the hard way. It took a couple of years to realise I had control until one day I said NO MORE.
You've done well. The self realisation is a brilliant start to make, the astral proper opens up and you never look back.
You become the driver in your experiences and these progress exponentially.
Quote from: Szaxx on April 14, 2014, 07:03:25
Not at all, you've progressed above it, very commendable.
It's a built in primal defense, think about picking up a pan handle that's very hot, you instinctively let go.
I started a topic on nightmares to try to show this fear control method in action, I think it was too much for many to try.
It really helped me in my early days as I learned the hard way. It took a couple of years to realise I had control until one day I said NO MORE.
You've done well. The self realisation is a brilliant start to make, the astral proper opens up and you never look back.
You become the driver in your experiences and these progress exponentially.
Thanks! Good to know. Do you have the links for New Jericho and the nightmare thread? I tried to search but my computer skills are not too good.
http://www.astralpulse.com/forums/welcome_to_astral_projection_experiences/new_jericho_large_scale_retrieval-t42995.0.html
It may take an hour to read. Lol.
http://www.astralpulse.com/forums/welcome_to_dreams/want_a_nightmare-t34007.25.html
Enjoy the read.