First truly shocking experience

[pluto]

Hello everyone,

I'm a little bit apprehensive of posting this, as I'm fairly new to this field and have only been experimenting with long periods of meditation for a couple of weeks. I apologise in advance for any naivety expressed. Something happened to me last night that has had a profound effect on me and I don't feel particularly comfortable confiding in the people close to me. I am posting my diary entry here in the hope that someone might be able to offer me some insight into whether what I'm experiencing is significant or merely imagined. As I am unsure myself what to make of it.

Here we go:

13th July 2009
The weirdest of nights. I had been watching a short video on Astral Projection. The video talks about the silver cord, and about how passing through all physical materials and energy is possible. I also saw something about sleep paralysis, an interview with someone on the Seinfeld show. These things lead me to draw one of two conclusions:
1.The power of suggestion is more powerful than I anticipated.
2.The information presented me with the information required to experiment.
I was laying in bed, drifting off to sleep when I heard the voice of a women. "You know what you have to do tomorrow", she said. Initially it did not register, It took several seconds before I managed to regain consciousness and attempt a reply. "No I don't. What do you mean? I have to meditate? Is that it?" The signal was gone. Upon which time I lost all sensation in my body, my head felt as if some electrical force was being poured over it. "I will eat your soul", or something along these lines, something far more threatening – not the female voice previously encountered – surfaced. I became enraged, started yelling, but I was afraid. It was at this point I think, I lost consciousness.
I think I was dreaming, I recall being in two places at once. In my bed and sitting on the chair in my office. I was trying to connect with ET's and follow them on their journey to wherever they were headed. However I was held in paralysis - both mentally and physically – by a being I mistook for Emily at the time and it prevented from advancing. I was eventually after a period of discomfort, returned to my bed in the contorted position I had been sat in in the chair. On reflection I have to wonder whether this was an alternate of the reality I experienced whilst trying to communicate with a bright light in the sky In a waking period earlier that night. Its hard to remember as I believe I was unconscious at the time.
After waking from this paralysis physically I rolled over and tried to sleep once again. Paralysis again, I could not move my body at all. I knew it was there, and I could experience the sensation of breathing, but I was not in control of it. I could hear warnings, almost as if a pre recorded message of some sort saying thing like "you are not permitted to do this". There were several messages that I protested against in some cases violently – I remember feeling enraged yet again. I remember having the distinct feeling that I was being monitored, and there was some technology in place somewhere that was attempting to prevent me from whatever it was I was on the verge of doing. After some time in paralysis I realized that It might be possible for me to leave my body. So I attempted it.. and failed. The amount of effort required seemed tremendous. However I knew I had to keep trying, I had a feeling they were coming for me (who?) and I did not want to be held in paralysis when they arrived. I needed to shut down the technology that was making me uncomfortable. After a few more attempts and a tremendous use of energy, I managed to upright myself. Sat on the bed, I could see body lying there on the bed, paralysed and contorted. I managed to stand, although uncomfortably and remember feeling that my hands felt heavy like bowling balls, and my legs felt strange – jelly like. It look a while for me to get my bearings, then I walked straight through my bedroom floor. I recognized my surroundings, but there was something different, almost dream like about them, as If I was seeing in some other kind of light spectrum. I remember hearing a tone, the source of my discomfort and being convinced there was a piece of technology that was trying to prevent me from being this being. I floated down the stairs in search of it and straight through the front door, shifting form somewhat into what I can only explain as some kind of balrog. And charged clumsily outward into the space in front of my house – flying. Unimpressed with the speed I was achieving I shifted form once again to some sort of cat/bullet style form. Reality shifted from the physical, to some sort of digital equivalent, I was traversing some kind of matrix of electrical data. It was here I commenced my search or the preventative signals I was receiving. I remember not being 100% sure of what I was doing but I confined the signals to a specific area of this grid, then stood out to me as red flashing spots in the matrix of blue. And I erected some sort of being to contain them. One here I started systematically destroying them. Sometimes smashing them with my hands, others simply by thinking. It was during this point I received a signal from my physical body, the sensation of drowning. Water in my ears and inability to draw breath. I realised that I was still capable of receiving stimuli from the physical and returned to my paralysed body briefly to inspect my surroundings – thinking I might have subconsciously ran a bath and was drowning. Only to find my surroundings unchanged and my body in the state I had left it.
I returned to my mission and destroyed the technology that was causing the discomfort. I flew back in the fashion I had arrived to my house and level of reality. I remember feeling some agitation at what I had had to do, also a loud repeating beeping noise that I had identified as some sort of radar or tracking. I remember thinking at this point 'they are coming for me now' and thinking I should return to the physical as I would now be able to reclaim my body.

I sat in the lotus position at the top of the stairs. I remember registering the presence of two cats; the one I live with, and the one that moved out with my wife some time ago. And telling them that what I was about to do was "akin to Zeus" - I have no idea what this was about. I began attempting to levitate, but realised this was simply to appease my curiosity and began preparation for re-integration with the physical. I meditated enough to sooth myself and rose, walking back through the door into the bedroom, wherein I saw my body once again, in the same contorted position I had left it in. I laid inside it and remember feeling my limbs stretch and lock into their physical positions. Feeling returned and my paralysis alleviated.
At this point I was a little freaked out and scared. I still knew that they were coming for me, in which plane I was unsure but I decided to walk down the stairs and open the front door to investigate non the less. There was no one there I could see.
The experience left me feeling drained, tired and starving. I ate and sat at my computer, rolled a cigarette and watched some video's on YouTube before realising I should go back to sleep. I feared however that I would unwantingly return to this state. A theory that was confirmed as soon as my head hit the pillow and the sensations aforementioned returned with alarming haste. I protested, screaming to myself that I just wanted to sleep and did not wish to return now. Eventually I managed to fight the sensation and drift into sleep.
The entire memory of this experience was with me upon waking up today in total continuous recall. Whether this was a genuine out of body experience or a lucid dream is completely out of my grasp. I do recall thinking that they were one and the same. The experience has left me feeling confused and imbalanced.


---

Even reading back on this myself, I feel rather embarrassed to be publishing it. Has anyone identified with any of the things I explain here that are specific to this experience?

Thank you for having the patience to read this far.

[ancient_one]

If you could put these events in this down in a story form, you could have a science fiction work on your hands.  Not trying to detract from it at all- it is interesting.  I have had some experiences over the years that were quite involved as this is, and I can never remember enough of the details of them. I just know that if I could, I would write something to try to publish.

As far as the experience goes, it is interesting in itself. I am not sure about any of the technology mentioned. But, I get a feeling that on a certain level, even if doing ap is very interesting to you, a certain part of your own mind is trying desperately to keep you from doing it, or even attempting it in the future.  Most of the beings I have met out there have been very helpful- unlike those you encounter who either seem to be a threat, or directly tell you that you should not be doing this.

One thing I did remember reading your story was that I had an interesting dream at some earlier point in my life. I was out in a group gathering. The group had something to do with training I was undergoing at the time.  I wandered off on my own to a field with tall grass, and laid down- I am not sure why at this point.  Suddenly, I was aware that they were searching for me, and I was very scared that they would find me.  Of course, they did find me. I remember seeing the tall grass part, and I saw two very tall and thin persons standing there looking in my direction.  I really hoped that if I stayed very still and calm they would not find me, but they started to approach anyway.  As they got closer to me, I got more and more scared- almost to the point of panic.  One of them had a long staff.  They got up to where I was, and one of them touched me- not sure if it was the staff or something else. But, the imagery of the grass and being in that field suddenly disappeared.  But they were still both there. Suddenly I was half in and half out of my body, with the two beings on either side of me.  I could see my bedroom now and the two were as plain as day still in what I thought was my real-life bedroom.  I finally forced myself awake, and saw my real bedroom.  I am not real sure who they were. I have seen similar beings in other dream-like OOBEs and some real OOBEs.  They always make me nervous.

[radman32]

During the day, you should reaffirm that it's safe to OBE, and that those beings wishing to harm you simply just can't, and that those calming watching you could actually help you. I'd like to have intense OBE's like your's. Maybe try calling out to them and asking who they are and what they offer.

[vipassana]

That was very intersting. Have you been under any unusual stress lately? I've only had 2 APs myself, neither of which were like that, but I'm curious as to why they happen. I think our conscious emotions drive these APs to an extent. In the back of my mind in waking consciousness I am always thinking about just how much my actions and thoughts affect my ability to AP and what type of APs I will have. I am very new at this too. My recent 2nd AP was about 6 weeks from my first. I have a really strong desire to do more, but so far it seems like they just happen spontaneously. Anyway, this is something you will probably have to think about for some time to find the answers. Go with your gut feeling on why these occurred and what it meant. Chances are it is your subconscious providing you the answers.

[zareste]

Hmm, "You know what you have to do tomorrow"
I've had the feeling there are psychic predators who give you hypnotic suggestions in your sleep, allowing them to command you. It's the same way a hypnotist works. They can 'program' the way you're going to act when you wake up, and even the way you'll think and perceive things. So, whatever you were supposed to do tomorrow was probably programmed the night before, and it was reminding you.

Once you caught them in the act, the second, more menacing voice showed up. I think this was a corny way of getting you to go back to sleep

[pluto]

Thank you all deeply for talking to me about this. Every comment has given me something to think about.

ancient_one:
It had occurred to me that this preventative barrier may have been simply a part of my own consciousness opposed to accepting this rather mystical new level of understanding that is starting to surface within me. I had been experimenting in the weeks previously with AP and trying to contact lost loved ones seeking answers. The only other AP experience I had felt as little more than the imaginary trips I used to take as a child, and therefore previously seemed hardly worthy of mention. I have been talking to an 'inner voice' frequently during the day sometimes requesting proof of some of my theories. But these conversations also seemed like part of my imagination. Until last night, I felt under control. The intensity of these experiences was such that I could choose to ignore them if I so wished. The intensity of last night however has made me certain of one thing. My imagination is capable of taking me to a higher level of perception - imagined or otherwise. And If my imagination is such that I can perceive these experiences as intensely (if not more so) than reality. Then perhaps the question of validity is somewhat impotent.

radman32:
Luckily I had been reading and watching the testimonies of 'Channelers' and the like recently who consistently preach the same message - "You always have the power to say no". Due to this I felt it important to fight, and protest - violently if necessary to the negativity. One thing is for certain, I have never felt more powerful than I did in the time I spent on that plane.

vipassana:
Quite. Six months ago my marriage broke down, my primary source of income started to fail and my means of looking after myself started to wane. I have been worse however as I experienced a nervous breakdown at the age of 19. This has given me to strength to endure this period secure in the knowledge that sometimes total destruction is necessary for rebirth. Recent events (past 7 months) have fueled a burning desire to seek out a more meaningful existence. I have immersed myself in Taoist philosophy, and spent hours researching controversial topics. In some ways I feel that the intensity of my experiences has made me more open to ideas I would have previously had difficulty allowing myself to think. And allowed me to 'release by burdens' somewhat. Possibly making me more inclined to accept stimuli from more mystical sources. Information on the quantum enigma (consciousness and ether) vastly accelerated my perception and success in achieving meditative states.

zareste:
This is by far the most worrying thought in some respects. But in others it seems liberating. If I am able to catch this, then I am able to exercise free will, where previously I was not. On a more spooky note: Today has been a particularly challenging day, with a severe wake up call regarding a failing business of mine (both a court summons for non payment of taxes, and the electricity being cut off on the same day). One has to wonder at the significance of that particular suggestion as I did know what I had to do - declare the business bankrupt and move on. Something I've known deep inside I should have done months ago. The message was possibly an altruistic one.

I would like to reiterate my gratitude towards you all for this. Look forward to any other comments you may have.

[EscapeVelocity]

I think you had an excellent first OBE. Well-handled during the experience, with good awareness, and very clearly and descriptively reported...thanks, it was a great read!

Imho, you encountered several distinct qualities of OBE and managed not to get thrown off track by any of them and went through the experience with enough lucidity to reasonably and accurately report it. I think the voices you encountered fall under the category of 'Dweller on the Threshold' variety: they may be unconscious warning phenomenae or they may be entities outside of you... I subscribe to the former, seeing as I still get the same thing from time to time, involving my own voice or that of another, or even that of a certain TV 'authority'.

The rest of your report seemed a mix of RTZ/Dream/Astral events that is quite complex and would take some time to dissect; but overall I think you handled it very well, with remarkable clarity and focus. Ultimately, the final definition of events is up to you.

Finally, imho, the feeling of 'they are coming for you...' is nothing more than a subconscious fear that 'you' are throwing up in front of 'yourself'. And that's normal, most of us go through that phase. It could have to do with proximity of your projected body with your physical body.

Atb, EV

[pluto]

EscapeVelocity

Thank you for this encouraging post. I'm very pleased I decided to share this here. It has alleviated my fears somewhat and made me feel more confident about 'going back in'. The paranoia aspect as you so precisely indicated is perhaps to be expected. The amount of Alex Jones, Peter Joseph and Project Camelot material recently ingested has indeed left me with a profound sense of hopelessness. I have grown to feel increasingly misled, preyed upon, and monitored. It is perhaps largely due to a desire to escape this reality that I decided to experiment with AP in the first place - with a view to eventual ascension. It is now thanks to you that I realise that this was bound to affect the first tangible experience I had, in a significant way indeed.

[EscapeVelocity]

pluto, my sympathies for your current difficulties. Mine, too, with a company of 100 plus and the worst economy in thirty years, and a personal relationship strained to breaking...but these are the challenges we somehow chose; I guess we try to meet them with effort, honesty and our spirit. I'm not sure what else to offer, I guess that's why I'm here.

With that said, AP is not an escapist philosophy, or at least shouldn't be; rather it's the other side of the Life Coin, something to become aware of and to explore when the time is right. Maybe it provides a little insight along the way.

All my best, EV

[T.L.]

"my head felt as if some electrical force was being poured over it."

The vibrations. What I experience is not only a shaking kind of feeling but also a pulsating sometimes static (not pulsating but constant) electrical shock feeling. Right as Im separating I experience electrical hissing sounds and also very high pitched squealing. The way I see it the physical world, the dream world, and the astral world are all the same. The difference being the amounts of awareness/consciousness. There are distinct differences in the way one would experience any of those though. When I first projected I knew beyond a doubt I succeeded. Even if it wouldnt have seen my own physical body laying on the couch I still would have known. Perhaps to a more unobservant person the lines between each reality could blur [one example is schizophrenia].

[Greytraveller]

Pluto
I would suggest that there is Something about your past, currently hidden from your waking memory, that explains your most unusual first OBE. Remember that people are at a different spiritual "level" and yours appears to be quite high, regardless of the fact that this was your first OBE.
I am not suggesting that you were once physically abducted by aliens. (Although it well may be that you did have a previous encounter with ETs in a past, unremembered, OBE.)
Be aware that the answers to this strange experience will probably reveal themselves in the future. So don't be too jaded or hesitant in facing any future OBE.
Regards 
Grey

[pluto]

EV:
I agree with you completely. The things I have learned and experienced in the past year alone have led me down a path that I hardly anticipated. I have been an outspoken atheist for years; completely devoid of any mysticism, and firmly renouncing anything that could not be subject to scientific analysis. I have observed something now that I previously thought impossible. The quantum enigma and knowledge of zero point energy have broken down the walls for a whole new understanding of life and the nature of the universe. It is only now that I can seriously pursue a more spiritual existence with a full heart. And by this I feel liberated and excited, where before I felt disconnected and numb. The escapism merely sowed the seed.

T.L:
I am happy to hear that the experiences with the nerves in my face is something experienced by others. I have also recently heard other theories along the same vein as your own on schizophrenia. I believe in a talk given by David Wilcock. I will find the video for you if you would like.

Greytraveller:
I am quick to denounce any vague memories I have of my childhood as mere fantasy. Yet I had no knowledge of anything UFO related at the time, I had believed that the memories might have been colored throughout my life by my teenage fascination with ET's. For this reason I am hesitant to share these memories, although I will if you would like to read them. I agree that this is probably something I should pursue if the opportunity should again arise that I should feel such intense AP. But I would still doubt the validy (vs fantasy and egotistical aspect) unless a sufficient level of intensity could be obtained. What are your thoughts on this?

[Psan]

Awesome experience !

It has many elements of a typical obe and I don't think there is anything to be worried about.
Suggestions are really powerful, and more so when you let go of your primitive defenses. (such as fear of unknown and any biases). I had my first obe just by reading a book on obe and accepting whatever was written with a mild curiosity. Subconscious did the rest.

The voices and such are normal, you will get used to them and learn to ignore them. You have kick started your spiritual evolution. I wish to all the best.

[Greytraveller]

pluto, your quote

Greytraveller:
I am quick to denounce any vague memories I have of my childhood as mere fantasy. Yet I had no knowledge of anything UFO related at the time, I had believed that the memories might have been colored throughout my life by my teenage fascination with ET's. For this reason I am hesitant to share these memories, although I will if you would like to read them. I agree that this is probably something I should pursue if the opportunity should again arise that I should feel such intense AP. But I would still doubt the validy (vs fantasy and egotistical aspect) unless a sufficient level of intensity could be obtained. What are your thoughts on this?

Of course you are reluctant to share personal memories with a stranger. And I was not in any way inquiring about any of your past experiences.
However, what I Would suggest is that it is Possible that years ago you May have had an OBE, which you have since forgotten, where you made contact with an alien entity(s). This happens to people quite a lot. I myself had dozens, probably hundreds, of OBEs as a child and preteen and now cannot remember ANY of them. (It seems that unless an experience is written down then it is eventually forgotten.)
Anyway, if this did happen to you years ago it would explain your present affinity for UFOs and things extraterrestrial.
Regards 
Grey