Disturbing OBE or Lucid Dream

[Lunarvegan]

Last night, before bed, I asked God if It would speak to me in a dream, or via an astral trip. I had been studying NDEs for the entirety of the day, and I wanted to feel the "white light" for myself...

In the middle of the night, I had a very lucid dream in which I called out for God, but something was blocking me from reaching It, despite my efforts. I remember feeling so strained and stressed that I was on the verge of waking up... I wondered why God would not answer me, since I learned that if you called for help while in the astral realms you would receive it... I can vaguely remember looking up in darkness and seeing light, but it was as though it was behind some sort of veil, and I could not access it...

Shortly after this happened, I felt myself exit my body, and I floated half conscious to a location, but I don't know exactly where it was; I was only semi-conscious the whole way. When we arrived at my destination, I "woke up" and looked around.

I was in a dark place. It was as though it was perpetually night where this place was. There was a single stone area, with a light cast upon it. As I stood there, something (no idea what) communicated with me telepathically what to do. I learned that this was an area where one could see any physical body in the world, and look upon its aura field as well. I looked upon 3 people, only the last of whom I recognized.

The first was unremarkable. His body was healthy, his aura clean. The second had a healthy body, but there were these hideous, deformed creatures stuck in his aura. Not thinking, I then requested to look upon myself. What I saw, shocked me out of the state (OBE or lucid dream, I was fully conscious, but I'm not sure...).

It was me, there was no doubt. There were no creatures in my aura, as I had expected there to be, given how often I am plagued with foreign thoughts, voices, nightmarish hallucinations in and out of my astral trips...not a single one. But I was horrified nonetheless. For it was I who was the demon. I was sick, rotting, malformed and hideous; I felt like I was looking upon something from hell. I started to freak out. I couldn't believe what I was seeing - why was I so hideous?

I have had times in my waking life where the creatures that lurk around me have possessed me and made me hurt myself and others... perhaps they were in my body at the time that I saw. Something I remarked was that my face had a horrible looking, evil smirk on it, a facial expression I would not have made willingly, and certainly not an expression one would have if one was dying.

What puzzles me is that there were no creatures in my aura. The astral realm has become a waking hell for me because of the horrible entities that are constantly hijacking my dreams, disguised as people I love while insulting me and putting me down (when I become lucid and expose them, they transform into their true selves and try to try to drag me into the lower astral where they can assault me), and outright attacking me in an OBE.

I don't really understand what happened here. I'm sure it wasn't just some ordinary, strange dream, as I was fully conscious, and realistically interacting and reacting to the environment.

I am now feeling very paranoid. I am afraid that I'm dying, and I don't know it. I'm also afraid that my ill mind (schizophrenia + borderline personality disorder), my past suicide attempts, my medications, my self-harm and negative thinking are poisoning my body and that it will kill me. Worse, I am now not sure if GOD will answer me and accept me when I die, as It ignored me last night when I called out for it, and was blocked from uniting with it. Nothing disturbs me more in the experience than the fact I was unable to reach the light when I requested to.

My question is... I asked for a vision of visitation from God while in meditation before bed... why wasn't I able to reach Its light? And if that experience of being brought to look upon my form WAS the visitation, why was it so terrible? 

Any insight would be very appreciated. 

Tiffany

[NoY]

"In those days god will be against the righteous"

meaning they are being a devil you really can only count on yourself your the one who has to make it work

how do you know the one showing you this was not full of Siht or maybe they got you and your attackers mixed up. just because they are in the ashtray doesn't guarantee they know what the hell they are talking about. also if you have had lots of dealings with facedancers how can you take anything on cosmetic value?

:NoY:

[Pauli2]

As I stood there, something (no idea what) communicated with me telepathically what to do.

It was me ... no creatures in my aura ...not a single one. But I was horrified nonetheless. For it was I who was the demon. I was sick, rotting, malformed and hideous; I felt like I was looking upon something from hell. I started to freak out. I couldn't believe what I was seeing - why was I so hideous?

I have had times in my waking life where the creatures that lurk around me have possessed me and made me hurt myself and others...

What puzzles me is that there were no creatures in my aura..

I'm also afraid that my ill mind (schizophrenia + borderline personality disorder), my past suicide attempts ... my self-harm and negative thinking are poisoning my body ...

My question is... I asked for a vision of visitation from God while in meditation before bed... why wasn't I able to reach Its light?

"Something communicated" with you, that was most likely a guide, filled with pure unconditional love. You can ask for strength, energy or love from that guide when you need it, and if you manage to connect, your guide(s) (there may be more than one), will try to reach you and help you if possible or if necessary (some times they don't help as you have to learn yourself how to deal with many situations).

I don't know what kind of god you expected, but the guides take you to someone/something as close to what you expect as god as possible. The Christian Bible God may not exist if that was your question, but you may connect to something else.


Your guide(s) showed you that no creatures are haunting you, no matter how terrible you have felt. It is only your own expectations and inner reflections. You torment yourself without knowing it.

If you feel like crap, that will also reflect in your image to your astral self, you may look like a terrible, hideous monster, but you are not a monster, your image is just the result of how you feel. You may also have a physical mental illness that makes you feel like crap, and that will also be displayed as you are a monster, which you are not.

One thing you can do is, before you enter the astral, think of someone or something you felt love to. When the love feeling fades, think of some else you feel love to, then when that fades think of a place you love or feel peaceful in, continue until you feel that you have gathered love for 1-3 minutes or until you get tired. Then go astral.

When you see the next "monster", send love to it. Love the monster no matter how evil or hideous it seems. Send unconditional love to its heart.

You may have been shown not what you wanted to see, but what you needed to see.

If you see yourself as a monster next time, send yourself-monster love.

You may have taken on this burden in this life as it is a very important lesson you (your Total Self?) wanted to learn before your current incarnation started.

Next time, you could ask the someone/guide questions how to transform the yourself-monster, if you get to see it again.

[Lunarvegan]

Thank you.

The God I expected was one of pure and absolute love; I have had kundalini experiences and have connected with the Source, pure consciousness, a couple of times; so I have a good idea in my mind of what I expect when I think of God.

Thanks, yes, I am thinking more about it now... and it seemed to be some sort of lesson. I do feel like crap more days than not, but I didn't realize it was having that much of an impact on my astral body.  It was weird though... because in the astral I usually take the form I want, and its never anything like that, that's for sure!

The creatures I see just seem so real, its hard to believe its my own mind creating them... and they are terrifying, its hard to even think of what to do when I encounter them, but I will try to send them love.

I will try to talk to my guide next time I'm OBEing (as I do most times), but unfortunately they rarely, if ever answer. Its frustrating that I'm unheard or ignored most of the time, but what can you do? 

[Xanth]

OBE or Lucid Dream?  Both... but the nature of the experience doesn't matter... I'll explain...

I couldn't believe what I was seeing - why was I so hideous?

This is probably something VERY IMPORTANT for you to understand, but it's probably because, subconsciously... that's how you view yourself.
You were simply seeing a direct reflection of how you view yourself, whether you consciously agree with it or not... and for one reason or another you view yourself as something "hideous".

The "demons" you seem to fight with aren't something that come from outside you... they're inner demons.  It sounds like you've got some soul-searching to do... and you'll probably have to be more open and honest with yourself than you've ever been before to resolve this.

It really sounds like, deep down, you want to resolve whatever issues you're having... and this is your subconscious' way of forcing your hand.  It sounds like it's tired of being subtle and is playing hardball now in an effort to get you to listen.

Anyway, that's my opinion of what you've experienced... take it with a grain of salt.