Hi,
Well done [^]
Stephen [:)]
Once you get more familiar with the state it will slow down to the point where you feel in control of it. What you are experiencing is the dissolving of all your concepts, thoughts and emotions back into the expanse of your mind. It can give you the feeling like everything you ever knew disappearing and/or the feeling that your existence was somehow slipping out.
The reason people feel like they just died is because the same basic process occurs at the point of physical-body death, and it tends to awaken the memories of when you have died before. What you say about having done a lot of reading and it being of little use when actually doing it is very true. Problem is the nitty-gritty detail of everyone's experience tends to be different. Books can only give you a broad understanding, and are no substitute for hands-on experience.
Yours,
Frank
i definantly think i was at focus 12 last night. it was awesome! but i slipped out almost as soon as i got in due to excess thinking. i started going towerds a state very similar to my transparent eyelids post state, but everything was moving much faster. then everything got really, really strange and abstract. i felt like my head opend up like a door, and everything i ever knew somehow dissapereard in an instant, i couldnt even think any more. ive done alot of reading about this kind of stuff but it diddnt help when i got there, i couldnt help but think somehow i just died, but i diddnt care. it was great! anything was possible and it felt like somehow my exsistance was somehow slipping out, and everything was in my grasp. of course as this happend i screamed to myself "i gotta go tell Cherri!" (my sister) and it took me back to focus 10. it definantly felt like i was slipping, like when your just about to fall asleep, but then you jerk really hard and awaken again, but it was much smoother. it was like someone "out there" opened up a door and gave me a peek, to let me know what its like.