It sounds more like a test in journeying to me, rather than an AP.
In journeying with a guide, you are often tested before something else will happen where you learn some lesson or other. If this were the case, it doesn't sound like you passed it.
If it was an OBE, you still didn't 'pass' (excuse the phrase, it's not a judgement). It does teach you something however; that you need to retain a certain amount of detatchment from what you see and experience. If you want to continue with the experience to see where it leads, you need to keep focused, yet not get buried in the detail of analyzing the situation.
What you saw most likely was not your brother, but a representation of him, or a manifestation of your emotion regarding his passing. Either way it needs to be dealt with on an emotional level sooner or later.
It's also possible this was a real experience. Read some of Ginny's posts on doing retrievals. The "him" was most likely your guide, taking you to see your brother in hopes that you could get through to him. Some people commit suicide to escape, but some do it to literaly "end it all" and hope to stop existing. This not being possible, the closest they can get is a dazed sleeplike state, isolating themselves mentally from the universe. When you paniced, you ran a high risk of sending that paniced feeling to your brother, which isn't very helpful.. and your guide whisked you away before it could scare him. You may be taken there again if you learn to keep your emotions stable.
You asked is your brother dead in the astral.. that's kindof an oxymoron, if he's in the astral at all, his soul is not dead, but may want to be. The feeling of being in deep space is you getting a sense for how isolated he feels.
Unfortunately, sometimes when you encounter dead relatives in the astral, they may not respond the way you would hope. Sadly, it is up to them to realize that their situation has changed, and that they need to make new choices.
Every time I see my father in the astral, he seems happy to see me, but he just rambles about inconsequential stuff. I keep hoping he will say "wow, it's great to see you!" but usually he just starts telling me about something mundane, like about someone he worked with, like no time has passed. I suppose for him, none has! Of course I will keep trying to break through, but I don't get my feelings hurt anymore when he doesn't react to me the way I'd like.
If you've ever encountered any dead people (non-relatives), you may have noticed that they are drawn to you but they're not really lucid. Often they don't know where they are but they may sense something has changed. They're desperate for anyone to talk to or to shed some light on their situation, although, ironically, usually they don't listen to what you tell them! You will need to learn to tune these entities out. This is hard to do with relatives, though.
I have a friend whose highly religious dead mother keeps visiting her and telling her she needs to get back into the church. She keeps explaining to her mother that she has passed on, and that she needs to go toward her guides and forget the church stuff. But so far she hasn't and it's been a few years. Her mother continues to be stuck in some sort of zone. It's tough stuff! No school can prepare you for dealing with your loved ones in this way!
My advice is, when you see your brother (whether he is aware and talking, or not), stay calm and loving, and try to explain his situation to him as best you can, and suggest he look for his guides. But, divorce yourself from your desired outcome as it may not happen. It's called tough love. Eventually, he WILL figure it out, all souls do.
I wish I had something more uplifting to say, but I hope this helps!
Thank you for posting.
What I meant by dead in astral is like a lost soul who cannot be reached. When my brother didn't respond to me, of course I was getting anxious. I find it hard to believe I would have to be emotionally numb and detached to his presence in astral or journeying, in order to advance and grow. I think that anybody would fail a test like this (if that is what it was). Especially under such extreme and traumatic circumstances as suicide. If this was a test that I failed due to the strong emotional bond that I had with my brother in life, I would have plenty of questions about the cruelty of universal law in regard to learning from human relationships. Please don't get me wrong, I believe I have plenty of issues to deal with in regard to his passing. But deep inside my essence, I personally believe this entire "journey" is about hope, unconditional love, helping our fellow man, and understanding. The guide or whoever it was seemed to get nervous(?) when I started to call out to my brother during this experience. Maybe because I was going to disturb my brother? That is when the force picked me up and sucked me back. I don't recall the "guide" being with me for the suction trip.
I did fail to mention that I had a lucid dream about my brother about 4 months ago (I write them all down). We were in a field together and he was crouched down on his knees in the grass, bleeding from the head. He looked at me with confusion in his eyes and tried to tell me that someone had shot him. I even saw the perpetrator running away from the scene, which is something I think my brother had manifested in his own mind, and for some reason I was able to see the story he had "made up", if that makes any sense. I knelt beside him and had to tell him repeatedly that he had done this to himself. I realized I was getting nowhere with him, started crying, turned and walked away from him. I left the scene in a car I had parked nearby. As I drove away, I knew I couldn't just leave him there in such a confused state, and also because I love him too much to just desert him like that. I went back and helped him into the passenger seat of the car. We drove away together and that is when I woke up. The last thing I remember doing was just looking over at him, filled with sadness.
Thanks for your input.
quote:
Originally posted by Eternity
I find it hard to believe I would have to be emotionally numb and detached to his presence in astral or journeying, in order to advance and grow. I think that anybody would fail a test like this (if that is what it was). Especially under such extreme and traumatic circumstances as suicide. If this was a test that I failed due to the strong emotional bond that I had with my brother in life, I would have plenty of questions about the cruelty of universal law in regard to learning from human relationships.
Let me first say that I totally understand your feelings, having lived through horrible trauma myself, especially surrounding my father's death, and other family situations.
Then let me say, that there is a difference between "feeling" and "emotion." Feelings are just that, feelings. They move to and from you, and through you, but they are NOT you. Compassion, love, empathy, etc. are some of the highest-level feelings, and should definitely be expressed when you see your brother.
On the other hand, we have emotions. Believe it or not, our emotions are very selfish! They are the tools of our all-to-human egos. Anger, fear, sorrow, jealousy, pride and yes even happiness, are emotions that all have to do with the self. Think about it! This selfishness does not make our emotions bad, per se. However (and this is the key), it does mean that they can control us if we let them! If you are happy about something, a negative event can take that happiness away. And anger and fear, well you know how those feelings can control you.
I'm not suggesting that one should not be happy, don't get me wrong! Just that one should be stable enough to still feel fine when the cause of that particular happiness passes. Life has ups and downs.
So yes, you may think it is cruel, and it certainly can hurt, but I believe that learning to control our emotions (so that they don't control us) is one of the main lessons of life. It is a hard lesson that we all struggle with and no one is perfect (OK, maybe Mother Teresa!). I am definitely dealing with my personal emotion of fear, especially in the astral. It is our most primitive emotion, and it is very tough to control, but I am trying.
And remember that all of our emotions are not only amplified in the astral, but they manifest themselves quickly and in ways we don't expect. We've simply gotta learn to control our emotions in order to advance.
Here's an example. Imagine your ten year old son just fell and broke his leg. Would you lapse into a fit of crying, saying "it's not fair" or "woe is me" and pounding your fists? No, you wouldn't want him to see that. You would speak calmly and compassionately, using feeling and controlling your emotions, and you would act quickly to get him medical help. This would be best for both of you!
I hope this clarifies what I originally was trying to say! I've rambled enough...
Oh... one more thing... to begin to learn to control your emotions, try to see yourself as separate from them, observe them and let them pass through you. Like, say you are angry. Say "wow, I sure am angry." Go into a room alone, and feel the anger move through your body. Try to determine where it is centered in your body (stomach? head?). Really let the anger have it's way with you (calmly, not pounding the walls!) Take deep breaths. You'll find that the emotion of anger will pass more quickly if you let it run its course this way. Take as long as you need. You might still be angry, but you'll be IN CONTROL. This works for all emotions. Give it a try.
Thanks once again. I think I'm getting the drift now. Hopefully I will contain myself a little better if I get another opportunity. I liked the son breaking the leg example. Nice! ;-)
I had a very strange AP/dream last night and am hoping somebody here on the forum has had a similar experience and can explain to me what exactly this was all about. Last night I projected to a place with someone (I do not recall who this entity was, just that I felt very comfortable with "him"?). Anyway, out of the dark backdrop, I saw what looked like a king sized bed with a white light coming from the back of it. The top was covered in plate glass. The closer I got to this bed, the brighter the light got. I figured it was because the light was reflecting off of the glass. There was a sleeping person (or possibly dead) lying inside of it, with blonde hair, which made the light even brighter. When we were about 10 feet away from this "bed", I realized the person inside was my brother who had committed suicide 15 years ago. Oh, I was so excited and wanted him to wake up. I started yelling out his name louder and louder. I started to panic when he made no response. As soon as I started to panic, a force came up from behind me and pulled me back into my body. This force literally picked me up and sucked me away. The entity that was with me didn't seem to be phased by the force and remained there (I think).
I woke up right after this happened and went to get a drink of water. I immediately started analyzing the whole ordeal.
Was the entity taking me to see my brother? Was my brother dead in the astral or just resting? Was I sucked away because I was calling out for him or because I panicked? And where was I, in astral or somewhere different? The reason I ask this last question is because the setting seemed to be in the middle of nowhere. Like the bed was floating in deep, dark outer space, with a light brighter than the sun (a consuming white light) directly behind it. I feel like I stumbled too close to heaven or something?????
I want to say "Please help" but I guess I would just like feedback.
Thanks