Letting Go and Being Humble

[Selski]

I had this experience a couple of weeks ago.  I didn't post it then because I wanted to think about it first and try to understand it.  I'm still thinking about it!

This all happened during sleep, but my level of awareness fluctuated between good and excellent.

I started feeling like I was OBEing.  My arms came free so I began moving them around.  They wouldn't go out sideways, but I managed to lift them.  I was trying to get them straight up over my head, but they stopped just before.  I left them there and my astral body started moving headfirst.  I stayed lucid and told myself to not panic, but stay with it.  The speed built slowly.  It was really nice – not too fast.  

I knew that when the movement ended, I would be "somewhere".  I came to a stop, so I got up and found myself in a small room.  Sight was perfect.  There was a piano in the room, and someone was playing it.  They had their back to me.  I looked over and knew who it was.  It was PS.  I walked over to him.  We hugged and he looked exactly as I remembered him.  He started kissing me and being very affectionate.  At first, I responded, but then it dawned on me that this experience was a "test" of some kind and I then knew what I should do.  I started to pull away, but he held tight.  I went to put my hand under his shirt, to feel his lovely hairy chest, but knew that this wouldn't help matters.  I said to him, "I just need to do something, will you play something soothing on the piano for me?"  He looked at me and I slowly moved away from him.  I said, "what about Beethoven's Sonata?"  I'd managed to get his interest in something other than me, and he went over to the piano to play.  At which point I moved towards the wall where I came in, and walked backwards into the wall and started going through it.  He looked round and I gave him a little wave as I continued backing through the wall.  

Then I blacked out, came to in my physical body, still aware.

I felt astral, so put my arms up again.  Again, the movement started.  Unfortunately, I blacked out this time.  However, I became aware again.

It all happened a third time.  Arms out, movement and staying with it.  I came to a stop, and I heard a voice (with a slight Scottish accent) say, "Now, what happened to this lady and her four lovely daughters?"  I felt that this voice was not some aspect of me but the "examiners".  

I was in a large house, downstairs.  I could hear children's voices upstairs.  It was bath time.  I started wondering what the woman meant and what I would find if I went upstairs.  This scared me (I had visions of carnage, perhaps the husband committing multiple murder or something.)  As soon as I had this thought, I knew I couldn't go upstairs.

I said to the examiner, "Excuse me?"

"Yes?" she said.  

"I don't think I can go through this one – I don't feel ready for it," I said.

Everything faded.  I blacked out once more, came to in my physical body, still aware.

It happened a fourth time.  Arms out, movement and stayed with it.  I came to a stop.  I looked around in the room and Dad was next to me, holding my hand.  This test was an easy one for me.  Gently, I said to Dad, "You've got to let go Dad," and prised my hand out of his.

Then I looked round and found myself in a ticket hall.  It was where you went to get your results.  I walk up to a counter and there was the Scottish lady behind the glass.  I said to her, "I didn't do very well, did I?"  She handed me a ticket, saying, "there were 5 tests, you did OK, you missed one because you fell asleep – You have to be more humble with yourself" (or something like that).  I asked her to repeat this because I thought it was very important.  She also handed me another piece of paper with the words, "Stephen says hello and hopes you are doing well."  

I thanked her and was disappointed I'd not done better.  There were many others there, getting their tickets.  I chatted to one man and said, "Remember, as soon as you wake up, you must write it down immediately."

Then I woke up, contemplated going back to sleep (thinking there was no way I would forget something like that) and remembered MY words, so put the light on the wrote it up.  Thank goodness I did.  It was only 12.30am, and I'm sure I would have forgotten some of it if I hadn't taken time out.  

Awesome experience.

PS is someone I used to go out with a long time ago.  I still dream about him on a fairly regular basis and I hoped that the above experience would stop the dreams.

Unfortunately, this hasn't been the case.

I guess I've still got a lot to learn.

Sarah

[Selski]

I particularly like the comment "being humble with yourself" as opposed to some type of generic humbleness as in "being more humble".

I wonder what it means in this context. Would it make sense if it refered to treating certain emotional aspects of yourself with respect, especially those aspects that specifically dealt with the "tests"?

"Humble with oneself" as opposed to any feelings that they should be brushed aside quickly, in order to "move on".

Hi Major Tom

I've been thinking specifically about being humble with myself - as you say, it's not the norm.  You are normally humble with other people.

I think you've hit on something and I thank you for sharing it - I do have a tendency to get cross with being so emotional, and often don't stop to explore my emotions.

Food for thought.

Sarah