I was meditating on my observation that I experience "meta-emotions" during some projections and intense lucid dreams - emotions that, for lack of better words, are "closer to essence" and categorically different from any emotion that you could experience while you're awake. These emotions are extremely difficult to remember while awake, but contribute to the emotional "glow" that so many of us are familiar with. [Edit: I mean the emotional glow that one often feels upon waking up from a very involved or intense lucid dream]
So, I tried meditating on these emotions to remember them, but I must've surpassed their essence, for I was experiencing just pure thought and imagery (and no emotion, meta or otherwise). I thought of my house, my neighboorhood, and the city rapidly, and I could see it all without delay. They appeared as blazingly fast still images.
I could see anything I wanted, except for the trouble that I didn't "want" to see anything, because I was so detached from my feelings, emotions, and sense of self. [Edit: So I was not able to confirm the validity that I was truly in a pan-psychic state]
But there was a distant "reflexive" part of me that felt for sure I was going to have an aneurism since it so intense and vivid, and was going beyond my control... I gave into this feeling and stopped it before I lost myself completely to whatever intelligence was at the essence of thoughts I wasn't thinking. However, it didn't seem like there was one. [Edit: I know, it sounds paradoxical - I was summoning the fast imagery but it did not feel like there was a sense of self summoning it].
I guess my main question is, has anyone ever given themselves an aneurism by meditating? ;) Second, has anyone had a similar experience?
[edited for thoroughness and clarity]
Telos, man ! You can' t give yourself an aneurysm just by meditating. Unless you're a yogi master thats trying really hard to have one.
I know what you mean by really intense emotions , though. A couple of hours ago, i tried to go deeper into the trance state by visualizing the decent of a mountain i climbed last summer. I climbed without ropes, and it was pretty terrifying because i had under estimated the level of difficulty of the climb, and the sun was setting pretty fast . I relived my mortal terror.
I had a pretty hard time getting out of trance, because i was in quite deep. My heart was racing,and i couldn't move. After a couple of seconds i regained control9of my muscles, fortunately. This was strange to me, because i' m used to INSTANTLY snapping out of trance when ever I want to.
Have you ever been that frightened whilst in trance ?
PS don't be afraid,your not ever going to kill yourself in a trance. Your physical brain is just way to strong. You'd pass out WAY before that.
-Joerii
Thanks. You're probably right. For some reason I have the suspicion that the brain is just so weak. I've been reading too much posthumanism.
Your experience sounds pretty cool, though. It definitely had its desired effect if you replicated the experience down to fright you would feel. I've definitely had my share of frights in trance, but over time they evolve into a fright over losing your sense of consciousness... not sure what I think about that, although it's probably nothing to worry about.
I mean, it wouldn't be fun unless there was some risk-taking, right? ;)
About meta-emotions, though. I didn't mean that they were like normal emotions but more intense, I meant that they were in a kind of category of their own - different to the extent that one would probably never feel them while awake.
I really have no words for them :( because they arise from circumstances that are completely imaginary, having little or no relation to anything of the real world.
Have you ever exited through your 3rd eye telos? I know when it has happened to me, it feels like something in my head is going to burst. It almost feels unbearable, but then you exit, and everything is ok.
I have read a story however about this guy that was playing with his kundalini. And although it was extremely painful, he STILL kept pushing it. I don't know what the hell he was thinking. He even admitted that he had the ability to stop at any time. Anyway, he ended being really screwed-up for a couple of months, I think.
Seems like I wasn't totally accurate with the details of the story. His kundalini was more difficult to control than I had thought.
Here it is if anyone is interested or hasn't read it yet:
http://www.realization.org/page/doc0/doc0053.htm
Nostic, I've never been able to believe in chakras :\
Really - I've tried. I studied the material, played with musical notes and colors, did meditations and visualizations, played chakra stimulation hemi-sync tapes. Nothing ever happens, and I find myself thinking, "this is stupid." Not that I think it's stupid for everyone, it just doesn't seem for me.
The times when I've had distinctive sensations of exiting the body, it just feels like the sensations of my physical body "vibrate away" and I'm left with my residual self-image. I've never had the sensation of exiting from a point.
I always keep my mind open concerning chakras, though. It's just that I'd rather find out about my vital energies through observation, instead of from a book.
Thank you for your replies! I'll have less worry the next time I try to repeat the meditation.
I know there are many more feeling's that we just can't take onto the brain. They seem intense in the astral and in lucid dreaming because you lose some sort of connection with the brain and those emotion's are able to be felt. I actually sit and watch Aura's form people most of the time and close my eye's and see millions of variations in color and mood of the Aura, the self. The body though prefers emotions that co-inside with physical interaction, rather then astral. These feelings can be felt, well awake, but mostly when your "zoned out" or not completely attacthed to yourself. It's amazing how limited the brain really is. There is so much more....