From a Dull Dream to a Sunny Day

[Selski]

A bit of a ramble first...

I'm having a good spell at the moment.  

A few things it might be:

1.  Feeling great (mentally/emotionally/spiritually).
2.  Feeling well (physically).
3.  Getting lots of sleep.
4.  Looking after myself (making sure I eat healthier and getting enough sleep, tidying my flat, doing the paperwork, getting my "life" more organised).
5.  Re-evaluating my thoughts on all this OBE stuff.
6.  Meditating again  :meditate:

The last two were down to having a real sort out in my head.  
I was getting sick of sitting on the fence.  I've done it so much in my life.  I actually wonder if I sit on the fence because in a previous/alternate life I've been killed because of my beliefs.  

Therefore it's possibly a case of "once bitten, twice shy"!!

Anyway, a few months ago I met a non-physical person.  I call him my guide, but he's more like a friend.  Over the months I came to understand (through a sense of knowing rather than him telling me) that he had died recently (i.e. within the last 10 years or so).  He was American, black, married, had two children, and worked as a care worker in an old peoples home.  His name is Joel.  He died young.  20's I think.  He appears in his 20's when I meet him.

I see him mainly during meditations, but he also appeared in a lucid dream (which verified for me that he was "real").  I've learned shedloads from him, but it's not only one way.  He is new to this "making friends with physical people" too, and we agreed that we would 'bumble' along together and may possibly make mistakes along the way.  

I guess that's perhaps the kind of guide I am willing to accept.  I did have an experience with a classic native American Indian guide, but I'm afraid I was very rude to him - "you don't expect me to take you seriously, do you?" - he promptly disappeared.

Anyway, I haven't spent time with Joel for months, due to my doubts about "all this stuff".

The other night I was lying in bed wondering about everything and Joel came into my mind.  

I remembered the funniest experience we shared together.  It was early on and we were sat in a tree together near his log cabin.  I was having doubts about the reality of him and just as he was rolling a cigarette (I know, I know), I said to him, "but Joel, how can I tell if all this is "real"?  How do I know you're not just part of my imagination, if I'm not just making all this up in my head?"

He laughed so much, he nearly fell out of the tree.  I thought this highly amusing too.  He showed me the ridiculousness of my question through his laughter.  After we'd both quietened down, he then said to me in all seriousness, "I have the same doubts Sarah.  How do I know I'm not making you up?"  And we roared laughing again.  He has a great sense of humour.  

Back in present day, wondering about everything, I realised that I couldn't deny the existence of Joel.  Which made me think all over again.  I'm coming to the conclusion that I need to accept certain beliefs (and I want to - they feel right, at least for me).  How long they'll stay before I question them again is neither here nor there.

I think because I've started to accept again, I'm experiencing much more frequently and with better clarity and quality.

Blimey - I can go on when I get going, can't I?  

Here's this morning's jaunt...

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I was dreaming of colouring in shapes with a felt tip pen.  This was a very stupid dream and I think I must have got bored as I decided to try for an OBE in the dream.  

I lay in the floor and realised I was hovering horizontally about a foot above the ground.  

I was aware of my physical body (dream body) and was being taught to focus away from the body.  This was not through focusing on the ceiling or anything like that, but it was to focus in a central way, central to the body without actually focusing on any one part of the body.  It's impossible to describe this lesson.  There were no "teachers" as such, but I knew I was being shown how to have an OBE.  It was the feeling and sensation of becoming a non-body, becoming almost like a small circular disk in the centre of the body.  Once I'd got that 'feeling' I then instintively knew that I'd separated or removed all association with the body.  I could then go.

And go I did.

I stood up in the room.  I couldn't see a thing.  I was very lucid in the dream (but unaware I was dreaming - I didn't consciously know I was still asleep somewhere else - I thought I'd woken up for real).  

I left the room and once outside I started to see slowly.  I knew this would happen.  I wasn't where I thought I'd be (where I live now), but I was outside a house where I used to live, some 20 years ago.  I walked down the drive and turned left.  

I was amazed how clear and crisp everything looked.  It was a lovely day.  There was no-one around and I longed to talk to someone.  I spotted a greyhound on the path ahead of me, although he/she didn't seem aware of me.  Across the road just off the kerb was a large crow.  The crow did see me and appeared to be frightened, flapping its wings and trying to get on the kerb away from me.

I lost it at this point.

However, I was back in the room hovering horizontally.  I reached for that feeling again of being a centred circle, found it, and popped out of my dream body again.  No sight again until I went through the window.  Before my sight reappeared, I felt the sun on me and as my sight slowly came into view, the first thing I saw was my own shadow on the driveway.  I looked around.  I was in the same place again, the house from 20 years ago.  It was such a beautiful day.  I walked down the drive and turned right this time.  No-one around.  I walked to the bus-stop and waited for a bus.  :confused:

I lost it again and then fully woke up.

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Although I felt very lucid within the dream, I wasn't aware fully of my options.  I didn't seem to think very much about anything, such as what I actually wanted to do.  I tended to just walk around, enjoying the surroundings.  

It seems to be quite common to find oneself in a house or area where one used to live.  I wonder why this should be.  I don't have any particular fondness or huge memories from this house, and I didn't even live in it for a long period of time.

Apologies for the long post.  If anyone gets this far - treat yourself to a cream cake (or is it spongecake?) - you deserve it!!  

Sarah

[MisterJingo]

Hey Selski,

If beliefs feel right, why not try following them – for a while at least? . As argumentative and sceptical as I can seem, even I go through phases of belief over objective proof. I've actually been going through a period recently of contemplating blind acceptance in certain things – although things  usually comes up to stop this – so perhaps I'm not ready for that again yet .
If something feels right to you, then go with it and see where it takes you. You could always go sit on the fence again later .