Wanted to discuss the reason I no longer AP

[Bran]

Hello all! First of all, I apologize for my looooong disappearance. I really cannot remember why I stopped coming here but it was likely related to a computer failure I had in 2011. Anyway... a lot has happened in my life... and now I return again to tell a story. For those of who you don't remember me, that's okay! I might as well start over at this point anyway.

What brought me here today is that lately I have thinking a lot about an AP gone very wrong that I had two years ago. I find myself more spiritual and interested in things like portals and dimensions ever since this encounter happened. Explaining it is quite difficult... but I will do my best to do so. I do not understand what happened, or what it means, which is why I am sharing this today. I need to know what the hell this was because I have been scared to AP ever since this occurred. Forgive me, for my memories of this are not as sharp as they once were. But I remember enough of it to tell about it...

It started off as a dream without much direction. I honestly cannot recall the exact details of the dream, but I think it was some sort of festival. I was definitely outside, in almost a park-like setting, like trees and people around. I recall driving there actually, and parking. I was standing in front of this line of huge wooden.... shrine? statues? They were maybe 20 feet high. They had flame torches coming from the top of their heads, billowing fumes high up into the air. I don't know what they really were, but they were interesting. Something happened after that, something weird... there was a series of explosions, and suddenly the statues erupted into flame. Fire spread all across the ground, and everyone else screamed and ran away. About that time, I thought "what the hell?" and then I heard it- a high pitched, evil cackle. It was the most disturbing thing I have ever heard. It felt shivers down my spine and immediately induced a feeling of sheer panic and doom- I ran. I didn't know where I was going, I just ran away.

I looked back briefly and saw shapeless shadows closing in on me. That's when I realized it was a dream. I wanted to wake up... but I couldn't. My body felt strange; slow, and almost deadened. A feeling I have gotten many times during dreams before: the feeling of being unable to move normally, or escape. I stumbled into a puddle, expecting to just get wet and go on, but that's not what happened. My foot hit that puddle and it felt like quicksand. Thunk! My other foot carried into the puddle as well. Thack! Two of those "things" were closing in on me. I could see them somewhat clearly now. Dressed in tattered black robes, with skeletal, blackened flesh and featureless faces, they cackled that sinister laugh as they approached me in full-glide. As I went to pull my feet out of the puddle, that's when it happened, the whole reason I am telling this story: I fell through the puddle. It pulled me down slowly; I felt an iciness over come me as I sank deeper and deeper... I thought I was dead. I didn't what had happened. I drifted down into a perfect black void with nothing around me. I couldn't even move. I looked back up and saw the shimmer of the water in the puddle I had just fallen through. And then I saw something else too. Those things had materialized through the ground and were now in the same void space I was in. Now there were 4 of them, and I felt trapped. All of them stared at me with twisted, sharp faces. One of them had a grin like the Cheshire cat- but had no teeth. They were all cackling that evil, horrible laugh... the one farthest to my left began to reach for me. I screamed, thinking it would wake me up. It didn't. I now realized that I was in an AP, and had lost control of it. They were in command of it, not me. I really, really though I was a goner as I went deeper down into that void. I couldn't even see the puddle anymore. I screamed one last time as many bony, freezing hands grabbed my chest and face. I closed my eyes and prepared for what was going to happen....

Then, miraculously, I felt a snap. I woke up looking at the wall of my bedroom, I felt confused and empty. I just laid there, mind blank for 5 minutes before I finally sat up and thought, "wow, omg, what just happened to me?" That next day felt surreal- I felt like I had left a part of myself in that place. Felt like I didn't belong. I managed to get to feeling more myself over the next week, but I was terrified to go to sleep for weeks afterwards. To this day, I have not allowed myself any more AP adventures. I wake up frequently now, I think, as a subconscious way to limit my ability to do so. I barely have dreams anymore, and I now find myself more spiritual, as stated before, and interested in things "we cannot see". I now believe in demons, for I fully believe I encountered some that night. I believe there are portals and passages into other realms, for I also believe I have experienced that as well; not just in this experience, but also in others. This one was just the first to officially scare the living bejesus out of me. My descriptions of those demons are hardly sufficient. They were, in reality, quite impossible to describe with what words I know. I will say that I am not the easiest person to scare. I have watched all manners of the most terrible and violence tv shows and movies one can watch ever since a young age. These creatures were far, far, far beyond the horror of anything I have ever seen in any movie, tv show, freak show, fictional prop, or any dream or any conjuring of any monster I could ever have possibly have dreamed up. They were the embodiment of pure evil and death, I am sure of it. They took something from me that night that I will probably never have back again: my piece of mind. The human obliviousness that allowed me to live my daily life is gone. I went too far and saw things no one should, and now there is an omnipresence in my life that I cannot quite explain. It just feels like I am never alone now; like there is always something tagging along with me. Maybe it is the knowledge of there being more out there than most people think... or maybe I actually invited something back with me. Either way, how am I to ever feel fully normal again?

Thanks for reading. I wish you all the utmost of caution and best of luck.

[Volgerle]

I have watched all manners of the most terrible and violence tv shows and movies one can watch ever since a young age.

Many on here never have violent or scary encounters during OBE/AP. And if so they are our own demons that can even teach us sth about ourselves. That at least is my impression.

I have quoted a sentence of your long post that struck me. I always wonder why people would watch these shows and movies with overdoses. I did as a child or youth too, but nowadays they repel me.

Maybe although you fear it/them you are also fascinated by the evil (beings), that might be one reason you attracted this experience or beings. The Astral is also a mirror of humanity's collective subconscious and thus is filled with our desires, urges, struggles, fights and bad / dark sides. It can manifest if you attract it with interest. So you experienced your own very personal horror movie.

Just saying. Maybe there are a lot more and other reasons.

[Szaxx]

Hey Bran, been there, seen it, felt the fear and never wanted to sleep again.
This is your 'hidden fears' test. It could be a one off to show you or it could put you in a place full of these entities.
I had a blast of this sort of experience when I'd been projecting for a few years. I was around 7 years old at the time so know the emotional turmoil you feel first hand.
Is it recurring?
A one off will wake you, a recurrent meeting with these nice entities may require some aid.
I can help but you've got to work out what's required.
At present you're on your own in the scenery I'd guess.
You can PM if you wish to keep some things more private.

[missym]

I would like to start my response by explaining a bit about the beliefs and my personal experiences:

Like you, I have had many experiences with Beings, entities, energies (whatever you choose to call them), to the point of even being stalked and Raped by them. Yes, raped! They have tried time and time again to make me feel like I am going crazy by speaking to me with voices in my head, draining me of sleep and even making me very very sick. (I had been to 8 hospitals in the last 3 months because of what had been happening) I cannot express deeply enough how vital it is that you FIGHT BACK. Do NOT give in to the fear, the negative energies, the darkness. Darkness cannot exist in the presence of light - I cannot express how important it is that you are firm in this belief. No matter how scary they are or what they do to you, they CAN NOT  beat you if you don't ALLOW them. Through everything I was experiencing, I fought back. I attended Sweatlodge ceremonies (I am an Anishnaabe/Aboriginal woman of the Ojibway Nation in Canada) I visited medicine men and was given natural medicine Muskrat root and Bear grease to cleanse my spirit and keep it free from negative beings. Every day, I smudged with the sacred medicines, I combatted every negative thought with positivity and love, I put a ring of cedar around my bed to protect during sleep and wore a braided ribbon with the colours of protection around my head and my childrens heads at night --- I offered tobacco to Mother Earth every single day, used my drum to envoke my Spirit guides / Clan (I am of the Wolf clan) to protect my family and I. And I remained sober and clean during this time, those negative energies are attracted to drugs and alcohol so do your best to keep yourself in a positive space.
It isn't what you use that has power, it's because you BELIEVE in it that it has power. The greatest medicine to use is your own mind, body and Spirit. The same can be done by saying the Lords prayer, Hail Mary, keeping Holy Water, the Bible, crosses, etc. it all does the same work if you believe it does.

Whatever you practice, you need to truly BELIEVE with your entire heart and soul that YOU are more powerful than these entities. It is true that OBE and AP are not for the faint of heart, entities/beings/energies will prey on the weakness of Fear and you will be tested time and time again on your ability to overcome the Fear with Love and KNOWING that Creator/God/Great Spirit/whoever you refer to the ultimate being as would not let your existence be taken over by the dark entities. They are Spirits without a body, lingering around feeding off of energy and the more attention/fear you feel, the more power you give them.
YOU are only as powerful as you BELIEVE you are.
Believe in you.