There Again- Music as Fixative

[sweet_celestial_sounds]

Day 28
Session 52- Casual Session
Friday, April 04, 2003, 12:12 PM

I was online responding to posts, and started to get a little drowsy, as I woke up at about 5 AM doing the interrupted sleep technique. It took a little while this time, but at about 8 AM I was ready.

While online I put on Disposition of the group Tool, and it's so smooth that it helped to lull me into a nice and relaxed state. This being so, I decided to continue its play, using it as a fixative.
A few minutes after 8:00 AM I lay down with Disposition playing, lightly listening to it while relaxing. I decided to turn my CPU off, so I turned it off, and my body was already relaxing smoothly and entering trance.

My body was mildly heavy, and pretty much relaxing for me... I just helped it along. I reached a point to where my screen abruptly opened up, and I got an up-close view of a herd of hundreds of stallions running full mast. They galloped strongly, and in airtight formation, and I just watched on. After a moment- whether or not this was due to something I did, or the direction the phenomenon was taking, the imagery of the herd galloping vanished, and a suffusion of bright, yellowish light took its place. This light was more lively and loud than the usual yellow, and screamed for attention as it suffused my screen. It looked as if my screen instantly became a cloudy night, and the clouds erupted with yellow lightening- and I was looking straight up.

After the full-screen light show, the yellowish light became a long, think rod of light at the top of my screen... like a rolling pin. It glided down my screen, taking up the entire width of it from left to right- the ends smaller in size, just like a rolling pin. It rolled down my screen from top to bottom, and I began to relax more.
I felt in a great state, but I again felt fear in me. It seems that I still have fear of the real-time, and that is what may have 'adhered' me to my body. That may be why I ended those two times. Small steps. But I'm there... yet again.

Celestial Sounds
Darryl Berry