4 hour long (seroquel induced??) nightmare

[mindflood]

i have severe insomnia which i use a variety of methods to overcome. more particularly i have what is called early morning awakening where intially i fall asleep for 2-3 hours then am not able to go back to sleep.

this experience (which just happened) was intiated after taking a 12th of my prescribed medication (its strong) although i cant soley blame it on that

the pervading theme of this dream marathon was uncertianty, attack on my belief system and or loss of "ego".

Thing started to go array when  noticed i was dreaming. I felt uncomfterable in the dream as i didnt have a lot of control over it and desired to be awake again. So i used, some method which i normally use to get back to waking consciuoness. I used itm but when i got to that threshold of beinf able to escape i had to move "physically in order to be awake completely, i was so exhausted that i took the chance of falling "back in". This created a sortof "water-wheel" effect where i kept moving back and forth between this comfterable and scary state due to my exhaustion and lack of consciousness.

Eventually i was thrown into a more stable dream. I still had the notion i was dreaming but had no control. There was a struggle between my exhaustion to just let go and let the dream take me and the fear uncertainty. I think i started crying. I tried telling everyone around me in my dream that i was stuck and needed to leave. They didnt care, i started foul mouthing my mom and keeping close to other family members. I was like a little kid again. I should note this sint thte first time i experienced this although not to this duration the "theme" is not unfamililar. So basically the rest of the time was a struggle to not let myself fall below the "threshold" and maintain some degree of control. It was exhausting, scary and releiving to finally leave when i had enough energy to physically get up.

the rite of passage, the action of me transcending the fear and uncertianty, throwing myself into the aybss and being open to a new experience may have been a lesson i think i was afriad that if i were to experience this i would loose myself.

[Szaxx]

When you're not awake and THINK you're exhausted, you'll FEEL exhausted.
You could have realised this exhaustion is a PHYSICAL limitations and has NO effect in the NP.
Thoughts manifest, thinking you were too tired to do anything manifested, this appears to have challenged your fears.
Have a think about self control and when in the NP desire what you NEED, its far better than letting the thought manifestation take control.

[Lumaza]

 Mindflood (I like the name). I have had those kind of nights. I would awaken in the morning totally exhausted from my "nocturnal" adventures. When I first started to get lucid in my Dreams I tried to control everything. I constantly found myself in battles of all different kinds. Until I finally saw that I was fighting myself. 

Then I began just being consciously active in the scenarios at hand. I wouldn't change the Dream unless I was prompted to do so. That prompt was usually seen as something in the Dream going completely out of whack. This is usually when a "reboot" of the Dream occurred.

This is when the real lessons and my opinions of what the Dream world is according to what I was seeing and experiencing started to take shape. I have found myself in areas whereas I am living the other decision of a "fork in the road" from my past. I have found myself in many situations that I am with people/entities that know me well, but I don't have a clue (consciously) of who they are. I have never met them in this reality or even been to the places I constantly find myself in. I have been in what I can only describe as Parallel Universes. I have even found myself in places that I can't find words to describe.

It sounds to me that you are at the beginning stages of what I experienced long ago. In other words, good things are ahead! Keep a Dream Journal. Log in your Dreams everyday. Don't get lazy. I know that happened to me after awhile. But, then when you start going back into these Journals you will start to find patterns. This is when things get really interesting.

The first main test in becoming consciously aware of being in another reality is fear. Once you overcome that, many other tests are ahead, examples lust, ego, etc.. One by one you overcome or "pass" these tests. This leads you deeper and deeper into the other realms and will open you up to more and more unique experiences. It's a never ending process. But it changes your entire definition of "being". 

[mindflood]

i should make it clear that i was exhausted from the insomnia. i had only gotten 2-3 hrs of sleep, and was very tired but cud not get my body to relax to fall back asleep, thats how my insomnia works.

on top of that i had taken medication which knocks me out 10x even further

& @ sax that water-wheel effect i was describing(in which i was half awake looking at my room), so it wasnt in the np that i was exhausted. It was the exhaustion that took me over and "forced" me into the np, which is probably why it was very over-whelming.

Although this may be, if i can find a way to comfterably transition to this state, it cud alleviate my insomnia

as far as my progress with lding, i am kind of an oppurtunistuc lder. only when its comfterable enough do i take the intiative to control it.
I like your statement about "fighting yourself" to control the dream, this is where i shud push myself. Its a part of me that i guess has been hidden and is asking for my attention.