A failed retrieval?

[Astralzombie]

I'm very confused right now. Last night I phased right into a ww2 battle. I entered the scene aware that I was badly hurt and had a loud ringing in my ears and I was unable to talk or move. A young soldier kept slapping me in a panic and was yelling, "Wake up Lt. We need you." Another soldier told him to forget it and that I was already gone. Sporadic small arms fire was throwing up snow all around us so the two soldiers left me in a frenzy.

Never mind the chaos and horror, what really confuses me is that during the phase we were both aware of each others fear and thoughts. I was upset at the soldiers for leaving us there and the Lt. was trying to calm me down. It's as if I was aware of three different realities at once. I knew I was phasing so I was aware that my physical body was safe, I was aware of the Lt.'s thoughts as well as my own related to the events. It's too hard for me to describe that feeling really.

The Lt. managed to calm me down enough and we finally crawled about 100 feet and rolled over into a foxhole. He asked me to leave and I wanted to but every time I tried, the Lt. would lose his consciousness. I felt that if I left him, he was gonna die and I felt so ashamed for leaving him. I can tell you that this shame I felt was only because I knew my physical body was never in danger. Had that been the case, I feel the coward in me would have left without a second thought.

Keep in mind that my consciousness was in the Lt.'s body. He would verbally speak to me aloud and I spoke to him through an inner voice. Sort of like I possessed him yet nothing like that. Like I said it is hard to describe.

We argued for a while longer about me leaving and my shame kept me from doing so. Finally my guide showed up and pulled me out. He then showed me the aftermath.

The Lt. never crawled into the foxhole and the other two soldiers were killed by the gunfire that scared them off. They ended up lying dead next to each other.

This left me with a "what's the use" feeling and I left my guide in anger and phased out.

I have a few questions:

Can any body relate to the multi reality awareness that I pitifully tried to describe, and does it relate to any Focus levels?

Was this a failed retrieval? If so, who was being retrieved, the Lt. or myself?

I know this is all relative but I felt like I made a number of mistakes. The largest being that I left my guide knowing that he could have explained everything to me. But stubbornness is the last flaw that we can overcome. That would actually make sense.

[Szaxx]

As you were aware of your physical I'd say its a lesson. You have some issues to resolve based on your split mind reactions. Being connected to the lt and knowing of your personal safety the issues around your thinking while under these pressures presented are where you should direct your attention.
It will mean something to you. What reactions you made were the test . Its important to sort out what you did against what you should have done now the scene is over.
What changes is your mindset next time this situation occurs. Being shown the actual event is where you can work out if your actions helped or hindered the situation.
Being a coward is a physical existance thing. You'll need to get out of it. Bad temper and storming away from a guide, that made me laugh.
Imagine becoming aware with no knowledge of the physical. It's you in the reality presented. How would you react only knowing this with no other awareness?
That's where you do your stuff, thats a typical retrieval beginning. Later towards the end things start to become clear. The challenge is usually done, and total awareness becomes apparent. This helps you remember it so you learn. If successful the elation is something else.
Does this fit with your experience?
The mind search I do when out is like your explanation. You are them, inside their thoughts and can alter them too with practice.  There's no words to describe it is very true.

[Astralzombie]

Thank you Szaxx. I'm beginning to realize that it was a test. In a way, I can't shake the feeling that this actually happened to this group of soldiers, but it's painful to think they had to "re-live" it to teach me a lesson.

From your prompt as to where I should direct my attention, I'm sure now that this was no retrieval. As I reflected on my awareness of both the Lt.'s fear and my own simultaneously makes me think now that it was ALL my fear. It's pretty pathetic when you think about it. The Lt. had to CALM ME DOWN and even struggled to crawl into a foxhole to do so. I was only in the way from the beginning and could not have helped them in the least so I'm sure they were actually helping me now.

Was the Lt. telling me to leave to enhance my shame and guilt and thus insure I would leave the experience with that strong in my mind?

The last little thing that keeps me from being certain though is a feeling of being violated that I detected from him.

One change in me that I have to admit is that I am no longer a Major Hawk. You know, the guy that has no dog in the fight and sits at home safe while his peers march off to war. This change in me has been in the making for awhile now but this experience has all but cemented my disdain for war.

[Szaxx]

To get you to leave at the first opportunity would have been a complete fail. You stayed and wanted to help. Thats good. What would your next day have been like with this playing on your mind?
Coming to terms with the presented scene and being able to keep a clear head would have been ideal, the added mind lock and the invasion was there to show you a basic action that you can actually do. It seems it is new to you which is a real bummer. After all you would have been a point conciousness within him, running a duality of sorts. You'll learn this too.
You thought you were in the way, this shows an interaction with the entities present, an understanding and the ability to be yourself. It may not of been in their best interests. You reacted and thats very important. An independent thought process took place, they didn't control you. You need this ability to stand any chance of success in a retrieval.
The feeling of being violated speaks volumes. You KNOW this and it's no misinterpretation.
You will be two different personalities. One for physical existance. The other for non physical realities. The difference is unreal when developed. It becomes an instinct in you that is switched off only for this physical reality.
I guess more will come your way in these lessons. They are all totally different in scenario and they persist until you learn.
After that the RTZ and pleasure flights seem to dissapear and each phase or outing has a problematic expectation to address. Learn or give aid to a situation presented
There's the odd occasion non conforming but these are boring by comparison.
Yes, war sucks.

[Astralzombie]

I have never entered a battle scenario before but I have seen some horrific scenes play out. By horrific, I mean man hurting man and they have always been in the past and here on earth. I have never seen a non human consciousness hurt anything, except for a bear mauling a wolf but the wolf escaped. I'm not saying that it is not possible or that it doesn't happen, I just have not personally seen it.

This experience was totally different because for the first time, I was not "safely" on the sidelines watching it. I have never been anybody but myself. Well I was myself but I was in the Lt's body as well. Hard to explain.

Of course I was entirely safe the whole time and I was aware of that but being aware of the Lt's fears and pain (I never actually felt pain) confused me and my emotions fed off of his.

Though I already had no doubt whatsoever, if OOBE's were just "dreams", my emotions should have woke me up ten times over.

I am glad that I do not have prophetic dreams. It's one thing to be helpless to change the past but I can't imagine the feeling of knowing something bad may happen and not being able to help.

I'm amazed that children deal with these experiences.

[Szaxx]

When you get anothers awareness and whats on their mind it can pull you in. You need to stay detached or what they are is how you become. I stay away from nasty tempered entities with this, it messes up your emotional state of mind. I've mentioned it in another thread, quest or retrieval. Hopefully you'll be schooled how to do it.
The prophetic dreams where you KNOW its going to happen are really bad when you're in the hot seat. You are everyone and everything too. Words fail this universal oneness and the contents of the minds of all present and those who will be affected wherever they are all come as one. It can be viewed as a curse at times but I can pull out if I'm early enough. Once passed the point of no return you're in for a 'rough emotional ride'. Even now 40 years later some of these experiences still bring a tear to the eyes.
I'd say overall your test/lesson was handled well. Its opened your mind to what can be expected of you. Now its time to reflect and change your mindset while aware your nonphysical. Easy to say.
I hope others get to this stage. The 'outings are unique' and your knowledge and way of doing things is really pushed to the limits.
Keep in mind that failiure is not an option, then enjoy the successes.

[ChopstickFox]

This was fascinating to read through. I understand how it can feel after something like this... When you feel like you failed someone and it feels just so real. It sticks with you. Lots to learn.

As for you being aware of yourself in a bunch of was at the same time, I've had that, but never has it been under such circumstances, wow...

And if I did that to my guide he would probably laugh his butt off, haha!

[Szaxx]

Im wondering if I've failed at something. It's been decades since I've actually met any of the guides I had when young.
Shown the ropes, sent to all sorts of schools and ended up doing quests etc.
I'll see em again when its all over...CAN wait for that.